Nearly at the end now, maybe three more chapters to go

x x x x

Cath's POV

I awake to a bitterly cold cell and a heartbreaking emptiness settles in the pit of my stomach.

That's when it truly hits me. Sara's gone.

Curling back up, I bury my face in my pillow; breathing in her scent. I knew that it wouldn't be long before they came to strip her bed of the sheets, so I swapped them over last night. This way, at least, I can close my eyes and pretend that I'm still wrapped in her arms.

It's only a temporary solution, of course. Come laundry day I'm not sure what I'll do. Maybe by then I'll have found a way to come to terms with the loss of my cellmate.

Perhaps if our parting hadn't been quite so awkward, it would be an easier pill to swallow.

Watched on by an impatient guard and several curious inmates, we daren't even share a chaste kiss. Instead, she had buried her gaze in the ground and mumbled a few words of comfort before slipping into the hall. I had tried to keep a brave face for her, assuring her that I was going to be fine in here. I made her promise to take care of herself, and to make peace with her demons before they destroyed her.

But as soon as she disappeared, the sound of my cell doors slamming closed signalling the finality of it all, I sank to the floor and cried until there was nothing left of me but bittersweet tears.

X x x

Today marks three days since Sara left.

It is also Christmas day.

The date hadn't even crossed my mind until I stepped into the crowded dining hall amid the smell of turkey and potatoes. I have a horrible suspicion that the turkey is leftover from thanksgiving, but it still beats the usual slop we get in here.

There is a strange energy in the air today. A festive buzz, I suppose you could call it. I'm not sure I understand it myself; it's not like we have much to celebrate in here.

I sit alone, more comfortable in my own thoughts than socialising with the rest of the rabble. I feel like I did when I first arrived; out of place and disorientated. Sara had only been with me for a couple of months, but now she's gone it feels like my life has been turned upside down all over again.

I find myself drawn back to the time Sara asked me about what happens in prison at this time of year. Despite her unsually mature mindset, there was a child-like innocence about her when she spoke of Christmas. I could tell that behind those haunted hazel eyes she was dreaming of tinsel and fairy lights. The sort of Christmas you only see in fairytales.

In truth, those fantasy images were probably the closest she had ever come to knowing a proper Christmas.

I glance around at the meagre attempts from the guards to cheer the place up. Tinsel and lights are off limits due to the obvious risks involved in a place like this. We are lucky to get shoelaces. But they had stuck a few festive pictures up on the walls and a small wiry tree had materialised in the corner, with a few baubles hanging precariously off the pathetic branches.

The food is actually not that bad, but I still can't stomach much of it.

Scraping my leftovers into the trashcan, I slip back up the stairs before the rest of the inmates have even hit the liquified goo passing itself off as cranberry sauce.

The hallway is quiet, empty. With the knowledge that all that's waiting for me in my cell is deathly silence, I decide to go for a walk and stretch my legs.

I wander the corridor idly, casting lazy glances into each deserted cell as I go. Like college dormitories, each one the same. I wonder whether Sara will make it to Harvard. What would she study? What will she make of herself one day?

I sigh, rolling my stiff neck to the side as I throw a casual glance into the next cell. To my surprise, someone looks back at me.

"Hi Goldi." Harper smirks. "You leave the party early?"

I freeze, swallowing hard. Apparently I'm not the only one who is not in the holiday mood.

"I guess it's no fun without your date, huh?" She continues, emerging from the cage and backing me against the far wall. When she reaches out to grab me I attempt to duck out of her reach, but all I achieve is pulling us both into the cell behind me.

I don't know whose it is, but it doesn't really matter. Everyone else is still downstairs. By the time they slope back up here, full of cheap meat and fake stuffing, it'll all be over and they'll be none the wiser.

Right now, it's just her and me.

X x x

I wince against the pain, pressing the cold cloth tentatively to my face.

Sara would usually do this for me. She would tip my head back, one hand gently supporting the back of my neck while she staunched the flow of blood.

Instead, I am in an ungraceful heap on the floor, leaning against the cold stone wall with blood dripping down my front as I bounce between vomiting and intense nosebleeds.

I guess this is my life from now on. Back to how things were when I first arrived. I'm alone, free to be used as Harper's personal sex slave and punching bag whenever the mood strikes her.

I can only hope that Sara's found her way home. That she's somewhere safe, with people who care for her. Meanwhile, I am still here, trapped inside these four walls on what should be the happiest day of the year.

A part of me is angry at her for leaving me to rot in this place, though I know logically that the blame doesn't lie with her.

If I wasn't so damn weak to fall for every person who showed me a little affection, I could be out of here by now as well. Who knows, perhaps the two of us would be sharing a bottle of wine over a warm fire.

Who am I kidding? If not for this hellhole, Sara Sidle and I would never have crossed paths.

I cough, spluttering up blood from the back of my throat. I don't know where it's coming from, but right now I'm not sure I care. I could die in this cell and no one would give a damn anyway.

Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing.