[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Thanks to those of you who are still with me. I love reading your thoughts on my story. Without you, I definitely wouldn't be here.

FAQ'S

Do Jasper and Edward end up together?

I'd like for this to happen but I think it's going to be difficult.

Will you make a story about the twins grown up?

Julie is not Lilly in WTHN. I don't feel like I need to give her a voice of her own. There's not enough interest for that out there, I'm afraid.

*This chapter is dedicated to Leslie, for being a supportive reader and an even better friend. I feel blessed to have you in my life. Hugs*

**21**

Hope is the only bee that makes honey without flowers

(Robert Ingersoll)

Why was it so incredibly difficult for me to concentrate? I was sure that even Angela's patience had its limits.

My boss smiled kindly at me and repeated her explanations for the third time in a row.

"I'm sorry, Angie." I told her. "What did you just tell me about the new artifact?"

Angela pushed her black-rimmed glasses a bit higher on her nose. "Bella, honey, I've told you before and I'm telling you again. You are not ready to start working yet."

I swallowed hard. The dryness in my throat was unpleasant. My fingers quivered when I reached for the glass of water next to me and took a small sip out of it.

"I have to be ready."

"Things don't work like that. It's about the money, isn't it?"

My head moved downwards for three times. The financial situation I was currently in was worrying me. Quite frankly, the entire situation I was in was frightening. Alice was so supportive. But she knew little about the endless pile of bills. The threat of the bank in my neck, who would be able to take the house away from me within the blink of an eye should I miss the rates.

"Don't fire me." I croaked, trying to keep the tears from falling. "I need this job."

"Bella, breathe." Angela stated. "I'm not going to fire you. Do you think I'm completely heartless?"

I sniffed and fumbled for a tissue in the pockets of my jacket. "I'm trying to concentrate better. It's just that I have so many things on my mind right now."

Angie nodded her head. "Why don't you take the rest of the morning off? Go for a walk. That usually helps me to clear my head."

An hour later, after strolling to the park for a while and picking up some flowers from a meadow there, I went back towards the library. On a bench in front of the main entrance, Edward was sitting. His nose was stuck in a thick exemplar of a Lutheran bible.

"Hello there." I greeted him, sitting down next to him on the wooden bench. "Don't you have enough bibles at your house?"

"Not this one." He closed the book and placed it on his lap. "Isn't it too early for your lunch break?"

I sighed. "Angie sent me off to take a walk. I'm afraid that I'm getting on her nerves. My concentration is shitty."

"What language is that?"

"Emmett always talked like that. Maybe that's him rubbing off on me."

The memory of my late husband made my heart cramp. Was it possible to love two people at the same time? I would always love Emmett. There was a part of me, I wasn't quite sure how strong that part of me was, that would always belong to him.

I loved Alice. I had loved her for almost all my life, longer than I had dared myself to admit.

Edward put his hand on mine. "Emmett would have wanted you to be happy."

"I know. But Siobhan hates me now. It's no wonder she doesn't want to pay for the twins' babysitter anymore."

"I could talk to her about that." He offered. "My aunt is embittered and lonely. She has lost both of her sons and her husband."

"She called her own sister a whore."

He cringed. "I'm sorry you and Alice had to hear that."

I started ripping the petals from a flower and cleared my throat. "I don't get why she did that. I mean, I understand why she would call me a slut…or even Alice, but why Esme?"

A low sigh escaped Edward's mouth. "She didn't mean it. You should try to forget about it."

"Your mother is a kind woman. I always loved her so much."

A smile flashed over his face. "My mother loves you too. That's probably the reason why she's so accepting of you and Alice being together."

My mind wandered to the conversation in my garden I had with Esme after Alice and I had been caught by my mother-in-law.

Do you love her? Do you really love my daughter?

"Bella, if you love my sister, you should let her go to Sydney. It would be better for her."

"I know. The job is a great chance."

"It is. Have you considered going with her?"

I crumbled a tiny white blossom between my fingertips. "We have talked about it. But it is difficult."

"Everything that holds a value is difficult." He stated. Then he pinched the bridge of his nose. "But God will help you and Alice if you only have faith in him."

"God hates people like me and Alice."

Edward grabbed my shoulder, making me look up at him. "Don't think that. God loves you. He wants you to be happy. God wants all of us to be happy."

"Are you happy?"

"I'm thankful for the place God has chosen for me."

"But are you happy?" I repeated my question.

"Being happy is not my main priority in life, Bella."

"Why?"

He smiled, his lips twitching upwards a couple of times before he spoke up again. "It's too much to ask for."

Alice's older brother had always been a mystery to me. Even back as a child he used to be too still. The first summer after the Cullen's had moved to Seattle, he spent almost all his time upstairs in his room. It was as if he was hiding from the sun.

"The twins aren't going to remember their father. Isn't that horrible?"

"You won't let that happen. I'm sure about that."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Esme let you forget about your father. Neither Alice nor you can remember him."

Edward stuffed the bible into a bag and placed it next to him on the ground. "I do remember some things."

"Really? That's great."

A bitter chuckle left his throat. When he started talking again his eyes stayed focused on the ground the entire time.

"My father had a dog, a Rottweiler. His name was Napoleon."

I shifted on the bench. "Dogs are great pets. Alice was so scared of Jake at first but now I think she really likes him."

"Napoleon was not a nice dog. No one apart from Dad would go near him. He kept him as a guard dog."

Edward sighed deeply. "Dad bought a leather leash for Napoleon that he kept on a hook at a wall in the living room."

I noticed how Edward's fingers began to quiver. He pulled out his rosary and started letting the little pearls glide between his hands.

"When Mom or I made Dad angry…and somehow we always managed to make him angry...," his voice cracked. "He always made us bring the leash to him ourselves before—"

Edward coughed. His face was white now.

"Oh, my God, that's just terrible. Does Alice know?"

"Christ, of course she doesn't know. I'm glad she was too young to remember any of this."

The grip of his fingers around the rosary tightened, making one of the wooden beads crack.

"I shouldn't have told you. I promised my mother I would try to forget. Both of us need to forget. It's just so difficult for me. Alice can never know about this. It would break her heart."

He mumbled an excuse about a meeting with Father James he was going to miss if he didn't leave now. When he was gone I starred after him, unable to move from the bench.

"There you are, Bella." Ben called from the main entrance. "Can you help me with the school class? You know I'm not that good with kids."

Like a robot I rose from my seat. For the next following hours I smiled and laughed, even if I felt like crying deep inside of me. Sometimes you needed to just put on a mask and pretend.

It was not that easy to pretend when I came home that night. The very thought that someone could have hurt Alice was unbearable for me. Had her birth father hit her too?

"You look tired." she stated, taking my jacket from me. "Take off those heels. I know they must be uncomfortable."

I kicked off my shoes and sat down at the couch. "Are the twins still awake?"

"They didn't have a nap after lunch. So, the little monsters were pretty exhausted."

Closing my eyes, I leaned back against the cushions of the couch. "I'm exhausted too."

"Well, then I need to help you to relax a bit." Alice stated. She started massaging my hand. The gentle caress sent a tingling sensation up my entire arm. "Tomorrow I can't watch the kids. But Mom has offered to take care of this."

"What are you going to do?"

"My boss and her father are in Seattle. Her secretary emailed me that Jane would like to have lunch with me tomorrow. God, I won't be able to get a single bite down when she's in front of me."

"How's she like?"

"Small. Blonde. Bad ass."

"Do you think she would hire me, if you asked her?"

"You? Working for a fashion magazine?"

"Are you trying to tell me I have no sense of style?"

"You have a thing for pretty underwear." Alice mumbled, opening the buttons of my blouse. "And you have a preference for lace."

I moaned when her fingers glided under the edge of my bra. Her touch was tender. I loved the way her hands felt around my breasts when she tugged down the stripes of my bra a few minutes later.

It felt so good when she touched me. Alice's lips were warm and wet when they closed around my nipple to suck it hard.

"I love your breasts." she hummed, pressing the full mounds together. "Can I take a picture of them?"

Was she crazy now? My face reddened as I quickly shook my head no.

"I was just kidding. But I really like those babies. They feel amazing."

Alice's tongue swirled over my sensitive tips, making them pebble into tight nubs. My clit pulsed. Within seconds my underwear felt as if it was completely soaked.

"Touch me." Alice commanded, guiding my hand underneath the denim material of her skirt. Like me, she was wet. As lightly as possible I let my fingers glide inside her thong.

"Like this?" I asked her, rubbing my thumb over her clit. "Or more like this?" I whispered, letting two of my fingers slide inside her tight entrance.

She gasped, making a few delicious sounds that made my own sex weep with the need to be touched too.

Alice kneeled down between my legs and pulled them apart. I groaned when she lowered her mouth to my pussy to lick me. I loved her going down on me. It was a pleasure I couldn't put into words. Her tongue was warm and velvety, just perfect.

My sex throbbed when I noticed that Alice's right hand had moved between her own thighs to rub herself eagerly.

Fuck, this was so hot. I could watch her touch herself forever. The wet noises her fingers were making on her pussy made my insides tremble. I could feel every fiber in my body beginning to burn. When my climax made me shiver, I had to bite my fist to keep me from screaming out too loud.

For a few moments Alice was very still. She rested her head against my lap and wrapped her arms around my thighs.

"I love you. I can't imagine being separated from you again for longer than a day."

I sighed and pulled Alice up, holding her close against my bare chest. "We need to figure out how to make this work."

"Would you come with me?" Alice asked, taking my hand in hers. "I know it's too much to ask."

I nodded my head. I had never been the adventurous type. The only time I had ever been further away from Seattle than two hours was for my honeymoon. Emmett had booked us into some fancy hotel in Mexico. It was one of the happiest times in my life.

"I don't want to go to Australia. It's too hot. It's too far away from home."

"I understand." Alice mumbled. "If you won't come with me that means I have to stay here."

"No," I stated. "I'm going with you. I'm just scared about the unknown."

She cupped my face between her hands and pulled my mouth to hers. I could taste myself on her lips. It was arousing in a strange, almost forbidden way.

"Bella, I love you so much." she whispered. "Promise me, we'll always be together."

"Always," I told her. My lips pressed against her hair. The curls smelled like hairspray and a bit of my coconut conditioner. "I love you forever."

I held Alice against my chest, gently stroking down her back with my fingertips.

"You and I, we belong together." she mumbled. "Deep down inside, I've always known we belong together."