The end approaches - one more chapter and this story will have reached it's end. I'm grateful to all those of you who have stuck with me, and a special shout out to everyone kind enough to leave reviews. I'm very lucky to have such wonderful readers, and I hope this chapter doesn't dissappoint.
As soon as Hermione arrived in her room and had warded it off securely, she collapsed; leaning her back against the door she slid down until she sat on the ground, her knees to her chest and her arms around them, as if she was trying to hold herself together.
She felt a stabbing pain in her chest, as if her heart was trying to pry apart her ribs and escape her, to run back to that tower and change what had happened.
Her mind, however, objected stubbornly. He obviously didn't really care about her, and she would not risk being the object of his laughter again. Poor little Hermione Granger, falling in love with a pure-blood. What a fool to think she stood a chance!
When she'd sat there on the ground for what seemed like a very long time, she managed to pull herself together enough to get to bed, where she promptly fell into a fitful sleep.
Loud banging resounded through both her room and dreams when morning arrived, and by the time she woke up enough to realize that the knocking was in fact real, Ginny was yelling as well.
"Let us in, Hermione, or I swear to Merlin I will break down this door! We're worried about you!"
"Go away!" Hermione yelled.
"No!"
Knowing that her friend would have no qualms about acting on her threat, Hermione dragged herself out of bed, hastily threw on some clothes, and opened the door.
She'd expected to see Ginny and Harry, maybe even Ron, but instead she was faced with five people. Ginny, Harry, Luna, Blaise and Theo walked inside despite her protests.
"You look terrible," Blaise said, charming as ever. "Almost as bad as Draco."
Despite herself, she lifted her head and glanced at Blaise with interest when he said that name. "I'm sure he's fine," she said, hoping her voice wouldn't betray the intensity of her feelings.
"He's really not. Seriously, he's about as far from fine as one could possibly be in times without a Dark Lord living in your house," Theo said.
"Hermione, what happened? You two seemed so happy yesterday, and then suddenly that fight, which, honestly, wasn't that much of a surprise given who you two are, but now it seems to have gotten a bit out of hand… What did he do?" Ginny asked, looking at Hermione with compassion. "Do I need to go kick him in his arse?"
"He has been a major idiot, undeniably, but I don't think violence is the answer," Blaise said placatingly.
"He told you what happened?" Hermione asked.
Blaise shook his head. "Not exactly. But I saw the letter, and knowing him, it wasn't exactly difficult to piece together what must have caused your quarrel."
"Then why are you here?" Her voice cracked a bit. "I'm not exactly in the mood to think about damage control and how the press is going to take it, at the moment."
"Merlin, Granger, how heartless do you think I am?" Blaise said, offended. "I'm here to help, of course!"
"Help with what? There's nothing to fix, this time. Draco made his wishes clear, he doesn't care about me."
Harry put his arm behind Hermione's back and gently guided her to the couch. "'Mione, I may not like the guy, or know him very well, but even I can see he's crazy about you. Just give Blaise and Theo a chance to explain, okay?"
Hermione crossed her arms and glared at Blaise first, then Theo, then Blaise again, but remained quiet. Because a part of her desperately needed to hear that she was wrong, which was probably a first for her.
"This is Draco's typical move when something scares him," Theo explained. "He's not very bright when it comes to emotional intelligence, as you know already, and I think last night he realized just how much you could hurt him. So he figured out a way to, you know, nip that in the bud by running away."
"But of course, Draco being the oblivious person we all know him to be, he only found out that it was far too late for any of that when the harm was already done," Blaise finished, looking satisfied with himself.
"That's it?" Hermione asked. "I'm just supposed to accept that explanation and forgive him because he was scared? How do you even know what you say is true? It's not like you have used Legilimency on him."
"He's awfully predictable," Theo answered. "And no, we're not saying you should let him get away with hurting you. We are however saying that he does care for you, quite deeply, and that if you feel the same way then maybe you shouldn't give up yet."
"And why is it that you are sitting here, saying all this, and not him?"
Ginny snorted. "Because if he had been the one showing up at your door, you probably would have attacked first and asked questions later. We figured we'd calm you down before things got even more out of hand."
"Hermione," Luna said, and although she spoke softly, everyone quieted and listened. "Don't let your anger guide you, no matter how justified it is. You and Draco have something special, something that manages to bring out the best in not only the both of you but everyone around you, and it would be a shame to throw all of that out of the window because of Draco's demons. He still has a lot to learn when it comes to relationships, even though he's come a long way already."
Hermione's emotional turmoil slightly deflated at the Ravenclaw's gentle words. "I don't know," she admitted. "I don't know what to do, or what to think, or how we go on from here."
"Talk to him," Harry said. "Try to stay calm and listen. Be honest with him."
Heaving a deep sigh, Hermione nodded. "If he comes to find me, I'll listen. But I doubt he'll come."
Theo and Blaise shared a look. "Just wait for it."
Hurrying back to their dorms, the two Slytherins quickly went to find Draco, who was being maudlin with Pansy sitting next to him, patting his arm awkwardly.
"Thank Salazar," she said when she noticed Theo and Blaise. "I was about to slap him for being so annoying. I have to say his antics are far less cute now than they were when he was thirteen."
"His antics never were cute," Theo said. "You were simply besotted with him."
"Yes, well, let Granger deal with him, then."
Draco's sigh at her words was so deep, Blaise worried for a moment his lungs would leave his body. "Sure, rub it in," said the sad blond. "She'll never want to see me again."
"See what I've been dealing with?" Pansy exclaimed. "He's impossible!"
"Draco, we just had a talk with your wife," Theo said. "And she said she wanted to hear what you have to say for yourself."
Draco looked at his friend, eyes wide. "How did you convince her?" he asked, not willing to believe it yet.
"We didn't," Blaise admitted. "Lovegood did. Said something about not being guided by anger and all that shite. But mostly, I think Granger is really fond of you, Draco. She doesn't want this to be over any more than you do."
"But mate, you'd better think carefully about what exactly you want. I know your relationship with her has been all backwards, what with getting married before even going on a date, but if you want to keep her you can't use her like your mother wants you to; we both know Hermione won't stand for that," said Theo.
"I don't want to use her," Draco immediately said in protest. "I'm not that person anymore."
"Which is all good and well, Draco darling," said Pansy. "But it takes a bit more than wanting to do the right thing if you actually want to treat her well. The world may have changed, but she is still a Muggle-born and you are pure-blood," –she lifted her hand to stave off Draco's objections– "which means that, if you choose to stay with her, for real this time, you will have to make some sacrifices. You'll have to talk to your mother and face her wrath, you'll probably be alienated by the older generation of pure-bloods; basically you'll get a lot of shit from a lot of people. And if you bolt and give up at every difficult point, like you did now, then you might as well not bother, you know?"
The Pansy Draco had known for the better part of his youth would never have been this insightful, he realized. The war and social rejection had turned her into a graver person, someone who spent a lot of time considering what the world was like and what she thought of it, what was wrong and what was right, and it really was no surprise she and Hermione got along so well nowadays.
Hermione… She'd taught him a lot, in those precious few months they'd been together. He remembered her words at the Slug-party: I find life to be considerably easier when I only take into account the opinions of people I value, Draco. I refuse to alter anything about myself because someone I hardly know complained about this or that. You might enjoy it if you tried to apply this philosophy, you know. It takes away so much pressure."
He'd spent most of his time with her living in a bubble; enjoying the advantages while ignoring the challenges, because he could. It wasn't fair towards her, he knew now. She deserved someone just as willing to make a relationship work, not someone who was only in it as long as he could justify it to his mother. Pansy was right; he had to make a decision now. If Hermione was willing to give him another chance, he couldn't fail her like that again. Which brought him to the next question: was he willing to forsake everything he'd ever learned? To relinquish generations of ideals, ideals he'd been raised to believe in?
A startling truth made its way into his mind: somewhere along the way, he'd already stopped believing them. He had read Shakespeare, admired Muggle inventions, talked to Hermione's parents without finding them inferior. Why would he subject himself to a life filled with lies and prejudices only for the sake of what a bunch of old snobs thought of him?
"She was right," he muttered, eyes wide. "It doesn't matter what they think of me." He looked at his friends before continuing, louder: "I mean, you guys don't care, right? And her friends don't care anymore, and my mother loves me too much to disinherit me over this, so she'll get over it in time."
His three friends smiled brightly. "Now you're talking," said Blaise. "Of course we don't care! We all like Hermione, and she's obviously great for you. In fact, I'd respect you far less if you chose all the pure-blood bullshit over that girl!"
"Go to her," Theo said. "Tell her what you just told us. Don't fuck it up this time!"
Without further ado, Draco followed his friends' advice. He almost ran through the castle, earning himself some strange looks from other students, but he didn't care one bit, and it truly was freeing!
He faltered upon arriving at the statue that held the entrance to their rooms, however. How would she react? He wouldn't blame her if she was done with him. He'd be crushed and filled with despair, certainly, but he would understand. What if she didn't feel for him the way he felt for her?
Only one way to find out, he supposed, and entered the room.
"Hermione?" he asked cautiously, not discounting the possibility of a hex thrown his way.
"In here!" she answered, her voice coming from their bedroom. She was sitting at the window; truly a splendid picture with the cold winter sun embracing her, giving her a fiery halo that suited her personality. But then he took a closer look at her face, and she seemed dejected, looking as distraught by their fight as he felt.
"I'm sorry," he said, the words tumbling out of his mouth. "I was an idiot. I don't want this to end by the end of the year."
"Then why say so?" she asked.
He approached her slowly. "Because I'm not used to feeling so strongly about someone. The vulnerability I felt terrified me, so I ran away. That's what I've always done. But no more, Hermione. If you would but give me another chance, I'll learn to deal with my problems better. I'm sorry I hurt you, I really am, but surely you must know that—" he stopped, his voice dying in his throat.
"Know what, Draco?" There was a certain something in her eyes as she stood up and walked to him, something hopeful but terrified, and it gave him the strength he needed to continue. He took hold of her hands with his.
"I want more than a temporary fake-marriage with you, Hermione Malfoy. If things had been different, if I had met you in a different world, a world without blood-prejudices, I would have been able to do this properly. I would have asked you on a date and we would have taken the time to get to know each other properly, and only then, when we were both older and wiser, would we have chosen to get married. It would have been an actual wedding at that, and you and my mother would have eternal discussions about the number of guests—"
She laughed at that, a tear rolling down her cheek at the same time. "You're assuming we'd end up married," she said.
"I am, yes," he said, earnestly, hoping she'd understand what he could not say yet.
His revelation surprised her enough that she swayed on her feet and gripped his hands tighter, as if to draw strength from him. It was everything she'd hoped to hear, but never expected him to say.
"I… Draco, I want to believe you, I do, but I don't know if I can."
Draco swallowed the hurt he felt at her words, knowing she was more than entitled to feel this way after how he'd acted.
"I know I messed up last night, and over the whole existence of our relationship by refusing to acknowledge there might be more between us than was appropriate given the circumstances, but have I not also proved that I am not only capable of change, but that I have changed already?"
"Of course you have!" she exclaimed. She must have picked up on the insecurity and guilt behind his calm façade, because she cupped his face in her hands and cut straight to the chase. "I know you are a far better person than you were before the war, and I also know you've started changing long before we got married. But it's one thing to change one's beliefs in private and another one to do it in public. Draco, I believe you care for me, and I believe you no longer care that I am a Muggle-born, but I also know you care for your parents and your reputation. Us being together is already difficult in our little bubble at Hogwarts, surrounded by friends who support us no matter what. Can you imagine how impossible it will be once we're confronted by the rest of the world?"
"I don't give a shit about the rest of the world," Draco answered honestly. "I'm not saying it is going to be easy, and I my life will never be what I thought it would be, but my mother will come around when she sees how happy you make me and she's the only one whose opinion actually matters to me. Hermione, what we share is far too precious to abandon. I know we still have a long way to go, but I think it's worth it. You're worth it."
Unable to resist the earnestness in his eyes and the emotion in his voice any longer, Hermione let go of her apprehensions.
"Just to get things straight," said she, looping her hands around his neck while standing on the tip of her toes. "You want us to stay together not until the end of the year or the next four and a half years and only because we got married by accident, but because you actually like me, and I like you, and then…" she trailed of, unsure how to finish her sentence.
"And the future brings whatever it brings. Maybe we'll still want that divorce in five years, maybe not, but should we really be worrying about that right now?" Draco said wisely, putting his hands on her hips and dragging her closer to him.
She smiled so brightly it dazzled him before dragging his head down for a searing kiss that tasted of promises.
Feel free to let me know what you think, good or bad! And thank you, wisecrackerme, for making sure I don't embarrass myself.