Chapter 20

"How far away the stars seem, and how far is our first kiss, and ah, how old my heart."

- William Butler Yeats

It was the following morning and Oliver had barely slept during the night. Admitting to himself and to Diggle that he was afraid what would happen if he let Felicity in his life, really let her in, had been harder on him that he had imagined, therefor the lack of sleep. Anyway, he couldn't take his focus of Felicity, she had to get better first and then he would tackle the other things surrounding him and Felicity.

When he made it down to the dining room, Moira and Thea were already there.

"Oliver, good morning." Moira said.

"Morning, mam." Oliver said, still distraught from worrying about Felicity and not sleeping well. He took a plate and started to put different kinds of fruits, croissants, charcuteries, cheeses on it and then poured a cup of coffee.

"Have you changed your mind about Dublin?" Moira said. "It would look better if you and Isabel came together, since you are both CEOs of the company... Your family's company." She paused to take a zip of her cup of tea. "Also, it would put a lid on the many rumours circling around that-"

"Mam, could we please not talk business at breakfast table?" Thea groaned, giving her mother a look. "Save your bickering until you're at QC, would you?"

"Yes, mam, I agree. Let's not have this discussion here." Oliver said and looked at his mother.

"I'm sorry, Thea, but you have to see past that right now. You might not want anything to do with the family company but..." Moira said and then turned to Oliver. "You, Oliver, have taken on the role as the leader." She paused and gave him a judging look. "Even if your... priorities seem to have shifted lately."

Oliver closed his eyes, not enjoying this bickering this early in the morning. He loved his mother, but her judgemental tone was starting to get the best of her and he knew for a fact that she meant the amount of hours he had spent by Felicity's bed side at Mater Private. He had no idea why she seemed to dispise Felicity so much, the two of them had barely crossed ways... That was a question to be answered for another day, this morning all he wanted was to see Felicity. It had been a few days since he last had seen her and he missed her incredibly already, that it hurt him.

He turned to Thea. "Speedy, how's Roy doing?"

Thea looked up, almost shocked that her brother showed any interest what so ever in her love life. Not that it was something she wished for him to do...

"Roy... He's... fine, I guess." She said slowly. "We're... We're really happy."

"Good to hear." Oliver smiled and took a bite of a croissant. "You should invite him over more often, I'd like to get to know him better."

By the way Thea was looking at him, he understood she wasn't comfortable with it but finally, she nodded and smiled. "I'm sure he'd like that."

The three of them finished the rest of their breakfast in silence. Thea was the first to get up and leave, she had to prepare some things for a private event hosted at Verdant and Moira was next to follow. She looked at Oliver, gave him a kiss on the cheek and told him to have a good day.

A moment later, Diggle walked in. He looked concerned, which immediatly alarmed Oliver.

"Digg, what's wrong?" Diggle looked at him and Oliver could see it was something of the more serious kind. "Diggle!"

Diggle put his hands off, a gesture to calm Oliver down. "When Felicity went missing and we found out her connection to Smolak, I pinged every source I could think of where he had been involved. It's the trace we've been following ever since."

"Yeah, but it's been a dead end..." Oliver said, before he realized what Diggle was saying. "The trace caught up with Smolak again, you found him. Where is he?"

"He's here, in Starling City. I don't know where exactly but I'm working on it." Diggle said. "I reached out to detective Lance and told him to keep his eyes open, that Smolak is incredibly dangerous."

Oliver nodded. This was not good news at all. If Smolak was back in Starling, it meant that he could find out where Felicity was and worst case scenario... He closed his eyes, not letting himself think like that. He turned his attention to Diggle. "What about Salomea, have you found her?"

Diggle shook his head. "No. She has been harder to track but I'm looking into other ways of finding her. I did mention her name to detective Lance, he said he would do everything he could."

"Okay, allright..." Oliver said. "Keep checking the track on Smolak, I will talk with detective Lance later and hear what he's found."

"Right." Diggle said and looked at the time. "Now, we better get going if you want to make it to your meeting." He said and a hidden smiled appeared on his lips.

Oliver nodded and the two of them left the Queen mansion for Mater Private.

Felicity's eyes had started to hurt, much likely from the luminate light that was swirling around her mother.

"Mom, why did you tell me that you can help me to wake up? I'm in a medical-induced coma, they only way I can wake up is when the doctors decide to." She said.

"Yes, but even then there could be something holding you back." Elena said. "That was what I meant, Felicity. You need to let go of any fear you might have and then you will wake up."

"Fears I might have?" Felicity repeated. "Of course I have fears - I was taken by some lunatic man who just happens to also be my absent father. I was drugged and when I managed to escape, I still was close to dying! And considering I've been unconscious for several weeks and now in a medical-induced coma, I'm still not safe!"

"Felicity, stop it!" Elena said. "We're running out of time, let me explain.." She paused, like she tried finding the words. "You don't have to be afraid anymore, you will be safe when you wake up. I made arrangements for you, to keep you safe-"

Felicity stared at her. "I'm sorry, mom, but how the hell have you been able to make arrangements for me when you've been dead for the past nine years!" She shouted.

Elena gave her a look and Felicity immediately mumbled "Sorry", wheras Elena continued:

"I started preparing myself long before I got sick, even before your father left us. And when I did get sick, knowing I would leave you behind... I made completly sure that you would be kept safe and that you would stay out of harms way... Arrangements to secure your safety." She paused, looking away for a moment. Felicity saw her chance to question what Elena just had said:

"What do you mean you made arrangements to secure my safety?"

Elena looked at her and only shook her head. Then she continued talking:

"I knew Matt had a troubled soul and since he moved to Poland he got darker... but never could I've imagined he'd do something like... Kidnap his own daughter, risk your life... He won't harm you again, baby, I promise. However, if he would be so foolish to try, I'm sure Oliver Queen will protect you." Elena winked. "Or should I say the Arrow?"

Oliver was feeling anxious, where he stood in the lobby at Mater Private. Soon he saw Dr Byrne came walking towards him.

"Mr Queen, good morning. We'll head straight up to the ICU so you can see Felicity."

"Good morning, Dr Byrne." Oliver greeted. "Has there been any change or improvements in Felicity's condition?"

"Her heart rate got a bit high there for a moment during the night, but it was nothing serious - everything is looking good. The Anemia is finally under controll, we're still keeping a close eye on it." Dr Byrne said as they stepped into the elevator. "I have to warn you, Mr Queen, you might be frightened by the look of Felicity, she may look different but I assure you... That's only because of the wires and such." Oliver looked at him and nodded.

At the same time, the elevator arrived at ICU and the doors opened. Dr Byrne let Oliver walk out first and then showed him to the room where Felicity was. They stopped outside the door.

"I will let you have a moment." Dr Byrne said. "Feel free to talk to her, she may very well hear you. She may also be responsive to touch. I will come back later."

"Thank you, Dr Byrne." Oliver said and shook his hand and as Dr Byrne walked away, Oliver took a deep breath, opened the door to Felicity's room and walked in.

Wires, going in and out of Felicity's small and frail body, that was all Oliver saw at first. The only sound he could make out was the slow, steady 'Beep... Beep... Beep's coming from the heart monitor – the only sign of life.

He slowly walked up to the foot of the hospital bed, watching her carefully. Then he noticed how actual small and frail Felicity looked, lying there unconscious, with a blanket over her. Oliver took a deep breath, swallowed and continued to the chair placed beside the top of the bed. He sat down and watched Felicity even more closely.

He took another deep breath and started talking to Felicity, not knowing if she could hear him.

"Hi Felicity... It's me, Oliver." Her face looked so pale and her fragility made Oliver almost afraid to touch her, but her lifelessness made him more afraid not to. "I'm breaking a ton of hospital policy rules right now, so I shouldn't be here really, but..." After some more hesitation, he carefully took her hand, which was cold, between his. "Felicity, I've been so worried about you. I had to see you."

Felicity flinched, even if only a tiny bit that it was barely noticable, and Elena gave out a small laugh. "Baby, it's fine. It's not like I will tell anyone. Besides... I don't care about the Arrow, what matters to me is how Oliver Queen treats you and what you mean to each other." She looked carefully at Felicity, whose eyes now had fallen to the ground.

"You love him. I would guess he loves you too and that is the reason to why you can let go of all your fears, Felicity." Elena said and took Felicity's hand. "Oliver will protect you – with his life - from anyone who could hurt you and more important... The love you feel for him will be the main reason to why you can wake up. When it's time."

Felicity couldn't comprehend what her mother was saying. She loved Oliver, Oliver loved her and knowing that would make Felicity safe once she woke up from the coma and returned to... the real world.

She looked at Elena. "Mom, it's... it's not that easy." She whispered, surprised to hear the pain in her voice. "Oliver is... We're... He couldn't..." She was interrupted when Elena pressed her hand. "Mom?"

"Baby, it's time for me to go. Just remember what I told you. Let go of the fears you have. Let the love you feel for Oliver fully into your heart and once you do... you will wake up." Elena smiled, touched her face and kissed her cheek. "I'm so proud of the woman you've become, Felicity. I love you so much. Goodbye."

Felicity, with tears in her eyes, nodded and wrapped her arms around her mother. "I love you, mom. Goodbye."

Then there was a bright light and Felicity was alone, surrounded by nothing but darkness.

Oliver's heart was beating surprisingly fast, as he sat by Felicity's bed, watching her. He kept talking to her, hoping that some part of her could hear his voice or feel him holding her hand, just so that she would know that he was there.

"You have no idea how..." He started, having a hard time to find the words.

Looking at Felicity, it became more and more clear to Oliver that he indeed cared for her more than he had originally wanted to admit to himself. It might have taken Oliver a while, but he had come to realize it now. How could he not? Felicity was an amazing young woman, she was smart, charming, kind, caring and witty – even with her occasional sentence fragments – and not to mention beautiful, extremely beautiful. Also, the fact that the two of them shared a special kind of bond, chemistry even, was clear.

"It's been a nightmare for me during these past weeks... Not knowing if you would get better or worse."

He couldn't help the other kinds of thougths circling in his mind. What would happen to Felicity if he truly let her in, admitted to both himself and to her that he loved her? Could they have a normal life, a future together – even with Oliver being the Arrow?

"Felicity, I just want you to get better, that's all I need." His hand moved to her face, carefully stroaking her cheek.

Because being the Arrow, always comes with a risk – which Oliver was well aware of. He was afraid that including Felicity in his life for real, would only enlarge the risk for Felicity. If his enemies found out about Felicity and what she meant to Oliver – that he loved her, they could use her as leverage against Oliver as himself or as the Arrow. Because Felicity would be Oliver's weak point. The Count had abducted her and it was a close call, until Oliver put three arrows in him. Misha Smolak had even figured out what Felicity and Oliver meant to each other and that was why he abducted her – to get to Oliver. God knew what else could happen?

Therefor, she could get hurt... or worse. And Oliver wouldn't let that happen again, he couldn't. He remembered what it felt like when he had found her in the cave, when Oliver thought he'd lost her. The angst and despair, complete heart-ache... No, Oliver would rather die himself than let something happen to Felicity.

But then he remembered what Diggle had told him, Everyone deserves to be happy, Oliver. Even you, both as Oliver Queen and the Arrow. Felicity is without a doubt your happy future. Just imagine how much worse you would feel if Felicity wasn't in your life at all. Diggle had been right. Oliver would be so much unhappier if he hadn't met Felicity, he might still be the stone-cold killer he had been when first returning from the island. She had brought out the light in him and if he lost her again, he would lose the light.

"I won't lose you, Felicity..." Oliver said, his voice cracking as he tried to fight the tears that were appearing from nowhere. "I can't lose you." He looked at her carefully, still with his hand on her face. Then he slowly got up, leaning over Felicity, letting his lips slowly brush against hers.