I don't know where Niall has taken me but I look around with my mouth hanging open; it's one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. Every tree in sight is in bloom with flowers of every hue and shade. There is a large pond nearby with shimmery, silver water and birds of a sort that surely don't exist in my world float effortlessly on its surface. Even the air smells sweeter, perfumed by all that is in bloom.
"Am I… did you bring me to Faery?" I feel panicked but you'd never know from the sheer awe in my voice.
"Not to worry my child. I will return you to the mountain when… and if you wish," Niall says with a wink.
"Okay, enough of the games, and you're not as cute as you think you are by the way. I want the truth and I want it now."
"Of course, but first a warning," Niall says, waving his hands dramatically.
"Always with the fucking warnings," I fume and kick at the golf course worthy grass.
"I just want you to know beforehand that this is only going to make your decision harder and that is something that I would spare you if I could."
"You've said that already."
"Secondly, you may never wish to speak to me again once you know this truth."
"I'm already leaning towards that anyway. I'm not willing to live without the full truth and I don't want to make any life decisions without the whole story, so spill, granddad," I hiss and cross my arms to drive my point home. The old bastard merely shrugs and starts to walk towards a pond in the close distance. I guess I'm meant to follow him but I do so grudgingly.
"You know the origins of the Cluviel Dor, your grandmother made sure of that. But she could not tell you what you what she herself didn't know about it."
"Go on," I mutter as I narrow my eyes.
"The Cluviel Dor was to be used for anything the holder wished for but, as with most things fae, there was a caveat. The purpose originally was for Adele to use it but as you know she never did. Fintan engineered it for one reason; to bring Adele to Faery forever. It was a trade by subterfuge; her wish would be granted and then so would Fintan's. He loved her terribly but he could not compel her to come with him so he resorted to trickery to separate her from your grandfather Earl."
"I don't understand…"
"When you used the Cluviel Dor to save Sam, there was a trade transacted. Your life for his."
"You mean I…"
"You died in his stead."
"Bullshit, I never missed a minute…" I sputter, "I mean I'm pretty fucking sure I would remember dying."
"You didn't miss a minute the second time, once I had reversed the situation."
"Reversed the situation?" I'm so dumbstruck that it seems all I can do is repeat the last thing Niall said.
"Listen child and know the truth. When you saved Sam by using the Cluviel Dor, you did indeed die. Eric Northman begged me to undo what was done and I am ashamed to say that at first I resisted him," he says, smiling at me sadly. "I felt such pity for you my darling. I thought that after all you had been through perhaps it was best for you to find some peace in another place; somewhere away from the vampires and shifters. Your future was always murky in my sight, completely unpredictable and unforeseeable. But Northman begged me to intervene, told me that he would give anything to save you. While he lay prone over your body, sobbing like a child, I couldn't help but feel that he was ultimately responsible for all that had happened to you. In that moment of my utter contempt for him, I knew what I would ask of him in return. I told the vampire that if he would leave you alone, marry the Queen of Oklahoma, and never speak of why he chose to do so that I would spare you. Since Fintan was of my blood I had the magic to make it so and he knew this. So he swore a blood oath and I sealed his mouth."
The old bastard looks so proud of his deceit that I want to smack him, open-handed, on his face. Boy was he ever right about me being pissed and never wanting to speak to him again.
"So you did this because you hate Eric that much? You hate him so much that you would take the reins of my life in your hands and set me on a course of YOUR choosing?"
"But don't you see Sookie? Eric was never a good choice for you; he was never the one you were meant to be with!"
"That was not your decision to make! And you can't tell me that you didn't know the consequences of my using the Cluviel Dor beforehand!"
"Would it have made a difference if you had known? Would it have prevented you from saving Sam's life?"
"No!" I scream, angry tears flowing out of me like a river, "But how could you have known that I would use it for something like that? Did you honestly know ahead of time that Sam was bound to die? What if I HAD used it to keep Eric out of bed with Oklahoma? What would have been the trade then?"
"There's no way of knowing that; Cluviel Dor magic is fickle much like the fae who makes it."
"Take me back, take me back right now!" I scream and actually stomp my foot. I'm beyond angry and hurt, I'm redefining livid at this point.
"There is one more thing you should know my darling."
"What the fuck else could there possibly be?"
"If you choose to leave with Eric, I will have no choice but to deal him a final death. He will have broken the blood oath and therefore the trade of a life for a life will fall upon him. It's my duty to make it so to maintain balance."
"You sorry son of a bitch," I scream, wringing my hands to keep from raking my nails down his face. "That's why you couldn't lie to me, why you wanted me to know the truth! You knew all along that by telling me everything you would assure that I could never be with Eric. If I had chosen to go with him on my own you wouldn't have been able to do a damned thing to stop me, but now you've got it all wrapped up with a neat little bow don't you?"
"You had already chosen the Wendigo before Eric showed his face. By rights I could have called the blood oath into question as soon as Eric contacted you and ended him then!"
"You said this would make my choice harder but that was a fucking lie! I don't have a choice now thanks to you! Take me back, Niall. Take me back and don't you dare show your god damned face to me again unless I call for you. Do you understand me? Because if you do I will find something with iron in it and it'll be me doing the ending."
I've barely finished my sentence when I am back in the tunnel and I feel wind and the sound of footsteps rushing towards me. I start to scream from sheer fright but then I find myself in Forrest's arms being covered by frantic yet gentle kisses.
"Sookie, Sookie, where did you go? Where have you been? Are you okay?"
"What? Forrest, there's a lot to explain but don't you think you're overreacting?"
"How would you feel if I disappeared for a month?" he asks incredulously, holding me at arm's length.
"That mother fu…, listen Forrest, I'm very sorry about this. I'm sorry to have worried you, it was thoughtless of me and I hope you can forgive me." I have too much too say and I can't be sidetracked by the knowledge of my lost time. It's something I should have remembered and yet here I am again a chunk of time older with no memories of the lapse.
"There's nothing to forgive now that I know you're safe," he whispers and kisses me again, this time deeply, urgently.
"Let's go up and talk, ok?" I ask, doing my best to end the kiss before it spreads its fire south and I lose all will to explain this mess.
We head up to the kitchen and I don't see Howard or Jack anywhere. Forrest sees me looking around for them and smiles.
"It's daylight, they're asleep." His smile is like sunshine; his happiness at seeing me again written in the lines around his mouth.
"Even better because this will be even more confusing for them than it will be for you and I don't think I can field questions from all three of you at once." I sigh deeply, take the cup of coffee he offers me and sit beside him at the kitchen table.
I preface the story much the same way that Niall did for me with the knowledge that Forrest wasn't going to like what I had to say. He merely nods while he looks down at his own cup of coffee and I can see him preparing for the worst. The look on his face is torture for me to see; he doesn't deserve the pain I see there.
I explain my heritage, my grandmother's involvement with Fintan, the Cluviel Dor and how I used it, the consequences of my using it, Eric's bargaining with Niall and the choices I have to make now.
"But Niall said that he can make Eric forget you, wouldn't that be the best way?"
"You would think so, but I am beginning to see more and more that with Fae intervention there are always going to be consequences. And to be honest, knowing what I know now, I am finding it really hard to be mad at Eric anymore. If you knew him like I do then you would see how unusual his sacrifice for me was. He's never been one to be selfless; like the fairy's he's always had secret motives for everything he's done."
"I know you still love him Sookie and I can see that things have changed but you have to know something," Forrest says, taking my hands in his, "When I came down and found you gone I went insane. I thought Eric had somehow taken you away. Of course it didn't take me long to find out that he had nothing to do with it since he was still in the cell. But I have never felt that kind of panic, that sense of loss in all my existence. As improbable and unlikely as it may sound to you, I want you to know with total certainty that I am in love with you, Sookie. I love you like I have never loved anyone or anything ever. I will do what it takes to make you love me that much too. I want you to choose me; choose to be here with me because I am the better choice for you, because I can give you everything you want. Stay with me because you love me too."
"I do love you Forrest, damn me but I do."
He smiles and leans his forehead against mine; I relish the coolness of his skin and breathe him in deeply.
"I want you to stay with me because you want to build a life with me, not because now you know you can't be with Eric. I don't want to be your consolation prize." He's staring at me now and the serious tone of his voice sinks in. I can't be upset by what he's saying if I want to be fair to him. He's one hundred percent correct; I need to stay for the right reasons.
I understand now what Niall meant when he said that this knowledge would make my decision harder. There is no question that I have to send Eric away to save his life. I can't end his 1000 year existence for any reason no matter what I might feel for him; I'll even ask Niall to erase his memory if that's what it takes. What I really have to decide is if I can find a way to give my whole heart to Forrest or if I should say goodbye to him for his own good.