Adam was asleep when Kim came in. He woke up briefly asked her about her shift, made sure she was okay and then kissed her goodnight as she crawled into bed.

He was up early, dressed and left for work before Kim even got out of bed. As always he left her a cup of tea beside the bed, dropped a quick kiss on her forehead and left while Polly was still asleep. Usually he would have stayed and got Polly up and given her breakfast but not today. He didn't want another argument.

Voight was surprised to see Adam sitting at his desk when he got in. He was usually always the first one in and the last to leave. "Has the sky fallen in?" Truth be told Ruzek was quite often the last one through the door and he understood why. That was not to say he didn't pull his weight because he did, at times more than was required. But being a parent required some serious juggling and he and Burgess seemed to have a pretty good grip on it and it didn't affect his work. They had all made some adjustments and it wasn't hard to have Polly around on the odd occasion, she was a bright light in their sometimes dark world.

"Just trying to keep up all Atwater's CI files as well as my own."

Voight noticed something. People always assumed he didn't really take much notice of things but he did. He could tell that Ruzek wasn't handling Atwater's shooting as well as he should. "You know Atwater's shooting wasn't your fault."

"I know."

"Then why are you acting like it is?"

"I keep going over and over it, did I miss something? Did we go in too quickly? I just want to get my head straight."

"You've got your IA interview today?"

"Yep."

"Did you tell Burgess?"

"No. She doesn't need to worry about this." Voight wasn't quite so sure about that. IA interviews were never pleasant no matter which side of the fence you fell. They'd all had their badges pulled at one stage or another or been raked over the coals for their actions or at times inaction. That was IA's job as annoying as they were.

He nodded and patted him on the back. "Get it done and get back here as soon as you can."

Al was also up his arse about his mood. "Jesus, what is with everyone lately. Just back off will ya?"

"Hey." Al poked a finger into his chest. "Watch your attitude. People are just making sure you are okay. Ease up okay?" Ruzek apologised immediately. He just wanted to get this interview over and done with and he wanted to look over and see Atwater back at his desk.

'Will you be home before Polly goes to bed?

'Doubt it, just finishing up here and going to stop by the hospital.'

He didn't get a response from Kim after the last message. He was already in the shit so it didn't matter how deep it was at this point. He needed to see Kev and he was quickly getting annoyed that all Kim seemed worried about was Polly. That probably wasn't entirely fair, of course he cared about Polly but she didn't see that he needed something as well. He needed his wife to support him too.

"You on your way home?"

"Yep." He scratched his rough beard. "Burgess has nightshift tonight so I've got Polly."

"You two fighting?" Atwater may have been up to his eyeballs on pain meds but some things even a blind man could see.

"That would require speaking and I don't think she's talking to me right now."

"Get your shit together."

He completely ignored Atwater. "I had my interview with IA today."

"And I bet they told you the same thing everyone else has. It was not your fault."

"Like a broken fucking record."

"Then why aren't you listening?"

"With all due respect Bro…." Atwater held up his hand to stop him speaking.

"Don't Bro me. I was there, I know what went down and this is all bullshit. You know it, everyone else knows it. Get over yourself and get home to your family."

He threw his bag in the mudroom and locked his gun away. Kim was curled up on the couch having a power nap, which she often did before a nightshift and he had hoped that he would get upstairs for a shower without waking her, not that he didn't want to see her but he knew she needed the sleep. Nightshift backed up by a day with Polly really took it out of her. If she could get a few hours before going into work that always helped. She pushed herself up into a sitting position as he came in.

"Hey. You're home." She grabbed her phone to check the time. It was a little after nine. She had about an hour before she had to get ready to leave. "How's Kev?"

"He's good. Another couple of days in hospital and he should be good to go home." He helped himself to a beer from the fridge and dropped down in the lounge chair. "How's Polly been?"

"Fine. She was asking for you."

Way to make him feel like shit. "Well she'll get me in the morning." he took a mouthful of beer. "I had an Interview with IA today."

"About the shooting? What did they say?"

"Same as everyone else. I did nothing wrong."

"Yet you still blame yourself obviously that's why you are like you are right now." She hugged her knees to her chest. "Why you can't stop yourself from stressing and worrying and hating on yourself."

Adam smiled at her sadly. She really did get him and he felt guilty for being so difficult. "You know me to well hey?"

"I do, doesn't mean I agree with it and am going to let you get away with being a complete tool."

"It would have been nice to have a little bit of support from you." Adam regretted it the moment the words left his mouth and he saw the flash of anger in Kim's eyes.

"You are a big boy Adam. If you wanted my support perhaps you could have shown me that you would have appreciated it. I will always support you but not when you are blowing me off. I am trying to do my job, be your wife and be a mother to your daughter. All you seem capable of doing is acting like you are the only cop in the world who has had to deal with a partner being shot." She pushed herself off the couch. "I'm going to shower and then I might go in early."

"Whatever." He said to exactly no one and he finished off his beer. Kim had already disappeared upstairs.

Adam groaned and peered at the clock. It was a not quite 3am and Polly was whimpering in her room. He had pretty much gone to bed as soon as Kim left. "Stay Safe." They had hugged briefly before she left, but that was usual. He lay awake listening for a bit to see if she went back to sleep but she didn't. "Mommy." She cried when he went to pick her up.

"Mommy's not here sweetie. It's just you and me." Thankfully she settled quickly in bed with him and while Polly went straight back to sleep he couldn't. He thought about her, how much he loved her and how he wanted to protect her from the world. He wanted to show her the beautiful side of the world especially since all he saw was the ugly side. Between Kim and Polly he had every reason to come home everyday. Having Kevin in hospital put a serious dent in his confidence to do that.

He peeled his eyes open and found two beautiful brown eyes staring back at him; they were the eyes of her mother just smaller. "Daddy." Polly patted his face lightly. "Awake Daddy."

"I am now." The last time he looked at the clock it was just after 4am and it was now barely 6. He closed his eyes again but that didn't last long. "Come and give me a cuddle." He pulled her into his arms and she happily snuggled in for a few more minutes.

Kim called him just as he was getting Polly's breakfast. "How was your night?" he shoved the phone between his ear and shoulder.

"Busy. And yours?"

"Well Polly was in my bed by 3 and awake by 6. She's just having breakfast. Will you be home or should I bring her in?" While Kim was due to finish at 730 more often than not she didn't get done in time so Adam would take her into the District for the hand over. Today was one of those days.

"Hey Adam." Kim whispered just before she hung up. "I love you."

"Back at ya Baby."

Polly was sitting up at Adam's desk when Voight arrived while he was grabbing himself a coffee. "Well, you are much prettier than the person who usually sits here." He chuckled.

"Pappa." Polly clapped her hands together and held them up for Voight to pick her up. They disappeared into his office and she was still in there when Kim came up.

"How are you today?" she stopped by Adam's desk.

"I'm okay." He dropped his pen and leaned back in the chair. "What are your plans for today?"

"I need some sleep, so Mum's I guess." At least they were having a civil conversation so that was a start. One more night of juggling and then Kim had a few days off, so as long as nothing jumped off a work they would have a couple of days to spend some time together.

"Burgess." Platt barked as she Burgess tried to get out of the building. "Bring my girl here." She demanded. Polly was happy to run around the desk into Platt's arms. Within a second she was up on desk and giggling away with Aunt Trudy. "Why do you look so miserable?"

"I'm tired."

"And you and husband of the year?"

"Like ships in the night at the moment."

"He's not doing well. This Atwater thing really shook him up."

"I know."

Platt had seen him sitting in the locker room after his interview with IA. She leant on the row of lockers and watched him for a moment. "I know everyone keeps telling you to get over it, that is wasn't your fault so I won't."

"Thanks."

"But can I ask, what exactly are you struggling with?"

Adam tilted his head back and sucked in a long shaky breath. "That it could have been me and I don't want to leave Kim and Polly."

"Adam." Platt folded her arms across her chest. "This is a dangerous job. You both signed up for that when you jumped into bed together. You have a beautiful daughter now and a wife that loves you. God knows why sometimes." She muttered the last line with a slight smile on her face. "You need to make everyday count for them. You could be an accountant, the safest most boring job in the world and get hit by a bus in your fancy suit, spilling your pocket protector all over the road."

"You have such a way with words that is unrivalled."

"Shake it off. Get your head back in the game and be grateful for everything you have. Sure you've got a lot to lose but that's because you have the most."

Polly wriggled her way across the desk towards Kim. "Stick with him." Platt slipped her glasses back on and waved them both away.

"Oh we will. We kinda like him. Don't we?" she looked at Polly. "We love Daddy yeah?"

"Love Daddy." Polly repeated.

Platt rolled her eyes, "Please just go. You hurt my head sometimes." her voice dripped with snark but she let a little smile creep across her face.

She was surprised that Adam made it home for dinner. He didn't tell her that Voight had basically kicked him out of the building. Atwater had visitors and no one was up for a drink. He swore that they were all ganging up on him. They all had his back, everyday at work and more than that they were his family, the same way Kim and Polly were.

"Daddy." Polly jumped up from her drawing when she heard the garage door. She looked at her mother expectantly. "Daddy's home."

"I think so." Kim loved her excitement every time she saw Adam. Sometimes it could be days before she saw him through no fault of his own and she knew he didn't really like it either. He would call her on face time just so he could talk to her before bed or in the mornings. They tried to make it work and it was hard enough. When Adam went into shutdown mode it made it even harder.

Adam scooped Polly up as she ran at him. "Hello Sweet Pea." He threw her up in the arm as she giggled and Kim felt herself forgiving him, almost.

He leant into Kim for a kiss and it linger for a few seconds. "Hey. How was your day?"

"Good." She responded coolly although that wasn't what she intended. "You're home early? I wasn't expecting to see you."

She felt Adam stiffen. He offered to give Polly a bath before dinner and disappeared upstairs with her before Kim could apologise. Even when he came back down and they ate dinner together it was obvious the strain was still there. "Why don't you go and get a few hours sleep." Adam offered once he had put Polly to bed.

"Adam." Kim put a hand on his arm as he came and sat beside her. Grabbing the remote he started flicking through the channels.

"What?" he snapped.

"I'm sorry. I am happy that you are home."

"Didn't seem like it." He threw the remote on the table. "You know I am trying."

"I know."

"You know, I know I've been a bit of a dick lately and certainly I have enough people telling me to sort my shit out. So I thought I would come home early and I guess I should be happy that Polly was at least happy to see me."

"Don't do this Adam. I was happy to see you but I must say I'd be more happy to see my husband from a week ago rather than this version of you."

"I don't want to fight with you right now. You're going to work soon, you should really get some rest. I know what you are like on your last shift before a break." He grabbed the remote again and flicked through until he found a game to watch. Kim wearily pushed herself out of the chair and headed upstairs. It was a few hours before he heard her moving around getting ready for work.

He tilted his head back to look at her. "You got some sleep?"

"Yep." When she leant in to give him a kiss her grabbed the back of her neck and extended the kiss. "I love you, be safe and we will see you in the morning."

He fell asleep on the couch and only woke when he heard Polly calling his name. He had no idea how long she had been awake but the crying had certainly ramped up. "Daddy." She cried. When he got up to her she was standing up, her face was red. "Sweetie, I'm sorry." He picked her up and rocked her gently. It was the sweetest feeling having her small head tucked up under his chin and his thoughts drifted to her mother and he realised how much he missed her lately.

It took a while to get Polly back to sleep. Every few minutes her chest would heave with a sob but eventually he felt her go completely limp in his arms. When he crawled into bed his arm reached out to Kim's side and he vowed that tomorrow night she would be back where she belonged. Close to him.

When Kim got home she found them both asleep in bed together. She stood at the doorway to their bedroom and looked at the two of them. Adam was curled around her little body protectively even if he was perched precariously on the edge of the bed. She pulled out her phone and snapped a photo of them together. There was hair everywhere, Adam's arm strong around his precious girl and her dark curls tucked up under his chin.

Kim crept into the room and grabbed some clothes before heading into the shower. It had been a long night and they barely got any downtime. She had tried to call Adam just before she left the station but he didn't answer. She guessed he was still asleep although he usually woke up when the phone rang. Rarely was it on silent unfortunately. He was always available. Her disappointment only evaporated when she saw them sleeping.

Adam heard the shower start. He blinked at the clock. She was early; it was just gone 8 am. He eased himself out of bed trying not to wake Polly. He wasn't surprised she was still asleep since they had been awake half the night. Something was annoying her last night and he got up three times and eventually just bought her into his bed about 530am. Polly had fidgeted and tossed about for a good hour before falling back to sleep.

"Good morning." he leant against the vanity. "You finished early."

"Yeah. We hit the ground running and the Desk sergeant took pity on us and let us check off early. I don't think we even got a chance to grab a coffee." She turned off the taps and as she stepped out of the shower Adam handed her a towel. "How was your night?"

"Up and down. She was not happy last night that's for sure."

Kim went to step around him to grab her clothes but Adam snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her flush against him. "Hey." He whispered before he grabbed the back of her neck pulled her in for a long slow kiss. "I've missed you." He muttered when they pulled apart.

"I missed you too." She wrapped both arms around his waist and leant against his chest. One of his hands was running across her bare shoulders and he buried his head in her hair and kissed her repeatedly. Suddenly Polly appeared in the doorway. "Mommy." Her voice was still laced with sleep as she rubbed her eyes. Adam dropped his head back and sighed as Kim untangled herself from him and picked Polly up for a cuddle. He just wanted Kim all to himself for a little bit. He wanted to reconnect with her in every possible way.

After a quick cuddle she handed Polly over to Adam so she could get dressed. All she wanted to do was to crawl into bed for a few hours but Polly had other ideas. They decided to go out for breakfast, there was a local café that had a playground nearby so once they had eaten Polly could have run around. Kim sat back and watched Adam and Polly play on the slide and swings. He seemed better today, more engaged and she felt that he was really trying and she vowed to let him know she appreciated it.

She slipped a hand in his as they walked home. It wasn't until Polly went down for a midday nap that they got a few moments alone. Kim wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her head in his back as he was standing reading the paper. He grabbed both her hands and held them tightly for a few moments before spinning around and enveloping her in his arms. They stood there in silence.

"I want you so bad."

"Smooth Adam, very smooth."

"So you should go and get a few hours sleep now. You might not get the chance later." He slapped her butt playfully. Truth be told he would have loved to take her upstairs right now but chances were that Polly wouldn't be asleep for long enough for what he wanted to do.

"Wow. Polly calm down." She swung her head wildly from side to side in the trolley making it bounce all over the place. Adam placed both hands on hers as she had tight grip on the handle. "Stop it." He was starting to regret letting Kim sleep for the afternoon.

Firstly he took her into the hospital to see Kevin and unfortunately Kevin had chosen to share his candy stash with her and a glazed donut so right about now the sugar rush had kicked in as he wheeled his way around the supermarket trying to get the groceries done. It was up to him to cook dinner tonight and it was taco night in the Ruzek household. He tried to give her a banana that ended up squashed in his hand and in her hair so he gave up with only half of what he needed and went home. Kim was up and eyed him suspiciously when he carried in one bag of shopping and Polly bounded in behind him still as wild as ever.

"What happened?"

"Atwater happened. Atwater, candy and a donut."

While Kim bathed Polly Adam started dinner. When she came back down Adam retrieving his gun and badge from the safe. "Sorry Babe. I've gotta go." He was just as disappointed as she was. "I have no idea how long this is gonna take." They never did when they got called out. It could be done and dusted in an hour or two or he could not be home for days. She hoped it was the former. He kissed Polly goodnight before turning to Kim and laying one on her. "Just a preview."

It wasn't looking like he would get home much before the morning. He called Kim. "Babe, I'm so sorry. This is gonna take awhile, you should go to bed."

"Ah fuck it."

"I hear ya, I can tell you I would rather be home with you right now. I am itching to get my hands on you."

"What's the bet by the time you get home I won't be alone in bed?"

"As long as it only a little girl, no more than 2 and half foot tall I'll deal." The likelihood of Polly not being in their bed was slim. Morning sex was not a regular thing in their house, much to Adam's disappointment. He really did want to break this early morning visitor habit but then when Kim was a work he didn't mind it so much.

He did get home by mid morning and today it was his turn to crash out for a few hours but at least they got an afternoon together. They decided to have a Picnic by the lake and enjoy the warm afternoon sunshine, the fresh air would hopefully tire Polly out. Adam chased her around happily until he collapsed on the rug and Polly flopped down on top of him. Kim ran her hand through Adam's hair. "Welcome back."

As Polly tucked into a bowl of fresh berries Adam rested his head in her lap. "Atwater taking a bullet reminded me that I put my life on the line everyday and I don't want to leave you and Polly. I freaked out." He grabbed her hand and played with her fingers. "But Platt knocked some sense into me."

"I know how that feels. I just wish you hadn't shut me out."

"I'm trying now." He closed his eyes. "Platt reminded me that I did have a lot to lose but only because I have a lot."

"We are not going anywhere. She needs us, both of us." She pointed at Polly who was currently shoving as many blueberries in her mouth as possible.

Kim had to laugh at how keen Adam was to get Polly into bed after dinner "Adam, it's too early."

He rolled his eyes "She's tired."

"I promise you if you try to put her to bed too early it will take longer to get her to sleep and that would defeat the purpose."

"Baby." He groaned as he rested both hands on her hips, his fingers slipping underneath her t-shirt so he could touch her skin. Kim grabbed his belt buckle and let her hand brush against him knowing full well it was driving him insane.

Polly actually co-operated and was pretty much asleep as soon as Kim finished reading her story. She didn't even stir when Kim put her into bed. Adam was finishing up the dishes when she appeared downstairs. "Ads, honey." She beckoned him from the doorway. He didn't need to be told twice. He dropped the towel on the bench, grabbed her hand and ran up the stairs dragging his giggling wife behind him.