Canada finally got his wish~!

Warning: Swearing, tension, angst. I'm just a crazy fanfiction writer who keeps Pirate England locked in my closet.

Just in case you're wondering why Arthur really gave up pirating…

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA.

Canada in Charge! ... Who?

"You could have chosen a less conspicuous spot!"

"I'm sorry, Igs, but there weren't many options available!"

Arthur sighed. They were getting nowhere. When they had flown over Yellowstone, Arthur expected there would be a multitude of places there may be to land… unfortunately, Alfred chose an open field near the beginning of the park as a runway strip.

"Well," Arthur growled, surveying his surroundings. There was nothing but trees for what looked like miles, and then a thin strip of mountain peeked above the treetops in the distance. "We're just going to have to get as far away from this place as possible."

Alfred pouted. "Aww, c'mon, Artie. We just got here and it wouldn't hurt if we made camp here for just one night?"

"No!" Arthur snapped. "It's too risky. Who knows how many people we've already attracted? For all we know they might have followed the plane."

"Ja," Ludwig agreed, gathering his belongings, Feliciano fluttering close by. "We need to get out of here as quick as possible." He threw his backpack strap over one arm and proceeded to the head of the group. "All right. Who here knows their way through a forest?"

There was a few moment's silence before Matthew hesitantly raised his hand. Now, instead of ignoring him like they usually did, he was acknowledged immediately.

"Come here, then."

Matthew did so, slightly uncomfortable under everyone's gazes.

"You, Canada, will lead us to a spot you find suitable and safe for the night. Let's head off." Ludwig said, nodding to him.

They all waited for Matthew to go. Matthew swallowed dryly and tried to ignore the fact that everyone was counting on him to survive now. He eventually straightened, rifle at the ready in his hands and said a bit more loudly than normal, "Okay, everyone. Follow me."

"Stop!"

Matthew was getting the hang of this. Everyone immediately stopped behind him, and he could hear guns cocking as if fearing they were being pursued. He knelt down, running his hand through the soil. He moved it around in his fingers for a moment before concluding, "It's moist. There's a source of water nearby. We can follow that." He stood, wiping off his hands on his jeans before saying, "All right. Water is a life-saving resource for us, but that also means that it is essential for other creatures. There may be many animals living around here, big and small, harmless and dangerous. So have your guns at the ready and be alert. Make sure to tell me if you see or hear anything suspicious. Let's continue."

He led them on until the soil began getting moister, eventually forming into mud. He faintly heard the trickle of a stream nearby. He carried on for a few more minutes, the sun now hanging low over the treetops. Satisfied, he stopped and turned. "Okay. We'll settle here for the night. Now before we do, there are a couple of things we must remember—wait." He'd just saw something out of the corner of his eye. He bent down, examining what he concluded to be animal droppings. He touched it and pulled it apart, revealing the bones of some large animal. Well… large enough to be prey for only one type of predator. It was warm. He wiped his hands on his pants and turned around to face them. His brother and Lovino had disgusted looks on their faces, but he ignored them.

"Well," he said. "It seems that this spot is already someone else's territory."

Lovino jumped, looking around warily. "Someone's following us? Where? The Syrup Bastard led us into a trap!"

"No!" Matthew shouted in his scary voice, making everyone jump. "No, Romano. No one's been following us. Not any human, anyway. It looks as if this territory belongs to a bear, and a rather hungry one at that. I'd say it was a grizzly and from the looks of things, it's rather small. Thank God we're in the territory of a youngling. If it were a full-grown male or a female with cubs, we could be in real trouble."

"So you led us into bear territory?" Gilbert asked, miffed.

"No," Matthew said slowly, as if talking to a child. "I led you into the forest, where it is going to be undoubtedly full of many animals. And as animals were here long before we were, they have probably established territories covering almost all of this forest."

"Then… where will we sleep safely?" Feliciano asked, frightened.

Matthew took a few steps in every direction, sniffing before answering, "It doesn't smell as if the bear's marked any trees or scrub over here. That way," He indicated a clump of trees in the opposite way of the stream. "is our safest bet."

"But," Alfred asked. "What about the water?"

"We'll find a spot close enough to it, I promise. But I'd rather not have to cross through a bear's territory in order to reach it." And with that, he led them off into the trees.

Matthew stuck close to the stream, listening to hear if they were getting too far away from it or not. Finally, he stopped in a clearing by a small thicket and, after checking thoroughly this time, said, "Okay, then. This looks good enough. We'll stay here."

Everyone gave sighs of relief, exhausted after a couple hours of walking without rest through the thick underbrush. They started to unpack, laying out sleeping bags, weapons, and ammo.

"Well," Arthur said standing and rubbing his hands together to wipe off the dust. "This isn't so bad…"

"Says you." Alfred grumbled, now sitting on his sleeping bag. "Now we have to sort out how we're gonna get food and make a fire…"

"Since you're complaining, Al." Matthew snapped. "Why don't you go and collect some firewood?"

Alfred stared incredulously at him for a moment before getting up and starting off into the woods, grumbling irately under his breath. "Stay close to the camp!" Matthew called after him. "And make sure to pick out ones that aren't wet or fresh, they'll be much easier to burn!"

Alfred didn't say anything, didn't even turn around, flipping Matthew off before he disappeared into a clump of bushes.

Matthew sighed and shook his head before saying, "All right. Some ground rules must be set for your own safety. Never wander over a mile away from the camp. If you have food, give it to me to string up in the trees. Don't use your guns unless it's an emergency, we don't want to attract anything or anyone that may also be here in this part of the forest. When you're hunting, use my crossbow and please remember to retrieve all the arrows you use and bring them back to me for cleaning. Report to me before going out so that I can tell you whether where you're going is safe or not. We also need to establish water-collectors, firewood-collectors, hunters, and foragers. Again, anyone on any of those things must report to me so that I can confirm that what you've retrieved is edible or usable. We will all take turns guarding the campsite—I suggest we do it in pairs in case some people get drowsy. Please try not to be loud. We don't want to attract anything. And if we do, please don't shoot unless it tries to attack you. If it's just sniffing around, fetch me and I'll try to scare it away. If all else fails and the animal returns the next day, we'll have to move camp. I don't want to take any risks here. And, oh, also remember that whenever you're going out somewhere to travel in pairs and take a flare with you."

"A flare?" Sadiq asked, embarrassed at not thinking to pack his own.

"Yes, a flare." Matthew said, trying not to look too pleased at the fact that everyone was looking at him with impressed expressions. "Just be sure not to light it off when you're in a dense, forested area—a clearing would do, or a field. But if you're in trouble or somehow can't get back, a flare is what you will use to alert us. There will be someone positioned in the camp as a guard and sky-watcher. They'll see your flare and notify me.

"Now… does anyone have any questions about what I've just said?"

"I do."

Matthew turned to see Alfred walking into the camp with a clump of sticks in his arms. He threw them down in the center of the clearing grouchily. "When're we gonna eat?"

Matthew had split the group up into firewood-collectors (Alfred and Francis), water-collectors (Gilbert and Lovino), hunters (Yao and Ivan), and foragers (Ludwig and Feliciano). The rest of the group, comprising of himself, Kiku, Sadiq, and Arthur all remained within the camp to keep watch and prepare the clearing for human habitation. Currently, Matthew was stringing up all the food in the camp in sacks he'd brought tied to tree branches, Kiku was digging a pit for a fire with a shell he'd brought with him, Sadiq was guarding the camp and watching the sky, and Arthur was…

Matthew blinked down at the man. "England, what are you doing?"

Arthur paused, stick in hand, from drawing a circle around the entirety of the campsite, looking up with an innocent expression. "I'm making a Spirit Circle. This will keep all the bad entities out of the camp." When Matthew continued to stare at him in disbelief, Arthur, disgruntled, said, "Shall I continue?"

"Uh…" Matthew replied. "Yeah, yeah, go ahead." And he returned to his work. Surely it wouldn't harm them if Arthur doodled in the dirt…

Well, Matthew mused. At least he's occupied.

"… away from me, bastard!"

Matthew nearly fell out of the tree he was sitting in as the angry voice boomed across the clearing.

A moment later, Lovino came stomping into the camp, fuming. Gilbert ran in after him, water slopping all over the ground from the canteens he was so carelessly holding.

"Aw, Romano, I was only having fun."

"Shut the fuck up, dammit!"

"What," Matthew slid down the trunk and walked toward them. "is going on here?" He was about to scold them for being loud, but examined Lovino first. "Uh, Romano… why are you all wet?"

Lovino folded his arms and scowled, pointing accusingly at Gilbert. "It was the Potato Bastard's fault! The fucker pushed me in the stream when I was getting water."

Matthew looked at Gilbert, miffed. "Why?"

Gilbert smiled, seemingly unaware of the trouble he was in. "Because I said I was so awesome I could swim the stream to the ocean! And then he said I wasn't. So I said 'Are you jealous because you can't swim as good as I can?' and he said 'No' and then—"

"And then he fucking pushed me into the water!" Lovino growled.

Gilbert laughed. "He flailed like a fish! Kesesese!"

Matthew sighed. "Okay, there are two problems with this scenario. One: a stream can't lead all the way to the ocean, especially not in Montana. Two: what did I just tell you about being loud in this camp?" Now he was the one who was mad.

Lovino was red-faced. "Che, I'm pairing up with someone else. I'm tired of this bastard hanging around me like a gnat! For all I care, you can send him packing, because he's totally useless unless he's talking about himself, dammit!"

Matthew looked from Lovino to the laughing Gilbert and shook his head. "Nope. I'm sorry, Romano, but you're just going to have to cope."

"What?!"

"Yay, more fun for the awesome me, kesesese!"

"Because both you and Prussia aren't adept at foraging unless you're with someone like Germany—"

"Then let me go with the Potato Bastard!"

"And let both you and Germany worry over your brother and get in a fight? No, I think not. And since Prussia's too loud for hunting and too cocky to go off looking for firewood, you two will just have to set aside your differences and work things out."

"What!"

"Kesesese!"

"Here's some advice." Matthew added, heading back to his tree. "Romano, ignore whatever Prussia says about himself or you or anybody else for that matter and just focus on getting water. Don't let him out of your sight at all times, not even when you're getting water. And Prussia," Matthew turned to him, thinking for a moment before concluding, "You can deal with Romano's insults just fine. However, I know I can't convince you not to talk about yourself or play tricks on Romano or anybody else."

"You know it! Kesese!"

"But I can warn you. If you cause a commotion in the camp like this again, I won't hesitate to punish you."

Gilbert laughed louder. "Punish me? Kesesese! Oh, that's rich! How, put me in time out?"

"No," Matthew said, his eyes narrowed. "But I will arrange for Russia to carry it out. And I'm privy to new ideas any day. Whatever Russia has planned, I'm sure I'll agree to, violent or no."

With that, Gilbert clamped his mouth shut, his face going pale. Lovino smirked at his reaction.

Matthew looked at the canteens in Gilbert's arms and sighed. "Go collect some more water. You've slopped most of it around the camp and onto yourselves." Matthew climbed up the tree and perched in the branch he was sitting in before. "And if I hear you've caused trouble again, I won't hesitate to fetch Russia."

No translations

A Word From the Writer: Oh lordy, it's a camping nightmare. XD

Onward!