A/N: Okay, I think people generally liked things being from Chuck's POV in the last chapter, so I stuck with it in this one. Plus, it makes the story a little more interesting, when I limit myself to one POV. This way, there are things going on that don't get mentioned, and you, the audience get to try to read into them yourselves. Isn't that fun? Don't you just love mystery? Boy, I know I do. Anyway, that's one of the things I have to thank the amazing Frea O'Scanlin for. The Chuck perspective idea was all her influence, and seeing how well it works in her What Fates Impose, I had to agree that it can be an amazing format. Also, I need to thank her for taking a look at this chapter early on, when it was just crap, and helping me to make it less like crap, haha. Oh, and also, MXPW came through with a couple of really good ideas and points that I think really cleared up some potential holes in the chapter. He's long been an important part of my writing process, particularly on this story, and once again, that is certainly the case here. And finally, I want to thank all you readers who make it fun to write. Yeah, the reviews have been down a little the past couple of chapters. Part of that is probably my fault for going so long without an update, and, er, other things (heh, April Fools anyone?), but I do appreciate those of you that are sticking it out with me. It is now my goal to update this story once a week, up through completion. I figure I have probably 5 or 6 chapters left, maybe a couple more, and we'll be done. Anyway, yeah, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I look forward to your reviews. Thanks!
Oh, and a special note about the formatting of this chapter. It's kind of self explanatory, but just to be clear, the stuff in italics is Chuck flashing back to his talk with Carina that was mentioned in the last chapter, and the stuff not in italics is what's going on in present time.
Chapter 20: When Things Turn Sour
"First of all, you need to understand who Sarah Walker really is," Carina said, sitting up on the bed.
"And what do you know about Sarah?" Chuck asked skeptically.
Carina laughed. "Chuck, you are currently looking at the world's foremost expert on all things Sarah Walker. I know things about her that no one else knows, nor could they know. We've known each other for a long time, after all. We've known each other in every way, in fact."
"What does that mean?"
Carina grinned. That grin you wear when you know something the other doesn't. But she quickly put it away. "I'm her best friend, Chuck. We were college roommates."
It was that little detail that initially caught Chuck's attention. He didn't think he'd listen to Carina. Not really. After all, Casey told him that he shouldn't trust Carina, or Agent Miller, because they didn't know her motivations. But if she was Sarah's best friend, then it was okay to listen to her on personal matters related to Sarah, right? Didn't he have to listen to what she said? Wasn't distrusting Carina kind of like distrusting Sarah? And plus, Carina might be able to shed more light on just who Sarah was, and with Chuck's growing affections for his partner, learning more could only be a good thing.
Not that Sarah had been overly secretive around him, of late. She told him where she was from, where she grew up. She was honest about that. Or at least Chuck assumed she was honest about that. She had no reason to lie. Or did she?
Sarah's behavior just before leaving on her mission was confusing, to say the least. She seemed desperate. Conflicted even. And the way she rushed him, as though she was going to kiss him, then pulled back, saying they needed to talk, only to not talk at all, had left Chuck completely befuddled.
So when Carina said she could shine some light on whom Sarah Walker really was, Chuck was all ears. He didn't have to believe Carina. He didn't have to trust her, in any way. But it couldn't hurt to listen, could it? Then he could judge what she was saying on his own.
So he agreed to listen, and planned to ask Sarah about some of the things Carina said when Sarah finally got back. That way, everyone would get a fair chance. It was really the only logical course of action.
"Sarah, like any good female agent, is more than willing to use her sexuality to accomplish a job," Carina said.
"But we haven't had sex," Chuck answered.
"Oh, that doesn't matter, Chuck. And it's not surprising. Our Sarah was always a little slow on the upswing," Carina said with a chuckle. "But it's not about the actual sex, anyway. It's about the promise of sex. Not a verbal promise, mind you, but her body language will constantly tell you that she wants you. Needs you, even."
When Sarah walked back into Chuck's hotel room, and back into his life, she immediately wrapped him in a firm hug. Before his talk with Carina, Chuck would've taken the hug at face value. Sarah was his friend, if not more, and when you've been away from a friend for awhile, a hug is an acceptable gesture.
Only now, the seed of doubt had been planted in his head. He found himself watching Sarah closely for any signs that she might actually be playing him. It's not that he wanted to, but after hearing Carina's "seduction for dummies" talk, he was powerless to stop his mind from wandering. So when she wordlessly enveloped him in her arms, Chuck tried to pay attention to what her body was saying.
Chuck noticed that, although she was providing the pressure for the embrace with her arms, that it was her breasts and pelvic region that made the most contact with his body. Was that a suggestion? Or was that just the way Sarah hugged? And how did Sarah hug? Did he even remember? Had he hugged her before?
It certainly seemed suggestive, to him. Not inappropriately so, but it was enough to get him thinking about sex. Or maybe it was because Carina brought it up that he was thinking about sex. He really couldn't tell.
That's why, when he pulled away from her, he looked at her face to see if he could find any trace of insincerity. Of course, he didn't. What he saw was pure, raw emotion. Or at least what he perceived to be pure, raw emotion. But then, maybe that was all a part of the play.
"An agent won't want to talk to you about anything. That's why you'll never get the verbal promise of sex, or of anything else. Words get you in trouble. They make you lie, and once you lie once, you have to keep lying, over and over again," Carina explained.
"And once you start lying that much, it gets hard to keep up with all the lies," Chuck said.
"And then, you're trapped in a web of lies, and one wrong word can lead to the entire web being broken," Carina finished.
Chuck knew he needed to be upfront with Sarah about his concerns. She'd always been willing to listen before. In fact, she'd constantly encouraged him to talk to her, to open up to her, since he'd known her. So when he told her that they needed to talk, he thought she'd be perfectly fine with that. More than fine, in fact. She should have been overjoyed. Only, she wasn't.
Sarah froze in his arms. He'd never felt her so stiff. A clear sign of fear. But what did she have to fear? Unless of course she had something to hide.
"Sarah, please?" he asked. "Can we please talk?"
"I, um, I really don't feel like talking right now," she said softly. "I had a long flight, and honestly, I just want to lie down for a bit. Will you take a nap with me, Chuck?"
She didn't want to talk. In fact, she offered up a lame excuse, and then prompted him to have more physical contact with her, instead. Words got agents in trouble, and Sarah was trying to avoid words. Isn't that exactly what Carina said she'd try to do?
But still, Chuck wouldn't allow himself to believe that Sarah was playing him. She'd talk to him, in time, and they'd get everything straightened out. He'd see that all of his worries were unfounded, and it was just one big misunderstanding.
"She'll try to stay in constant physical contact with you. It will become her connection to her mission. The mark, you in this case –"
"I don't want to think of myself as a mark," Chuck grumbled, cutting Carina off.
"Fine, think of it however you like, but this guy I'm working now? This is exactly what I'm doing with him, so really, I'm just trying to take you through the steps." Chuck wasn't impressed. Carina paused, collecting herself, clearly picking up on his non-verbal cues. "But if you don't want to be called a mark, l guess I can change the phrasing."
"Thank you," Chuck said. He didn't miss the little chuckle or the muttered "They're so cute when they're young", but he tried his best to ignore it.
"Well, if she's working you, she'll try to keep constant physical contact with you. It's what lets her know you're falling under her spell. You'll probably even feel smothered at times, but that's okay, too, because there will be no doubt in your mind that she wants you, that she needs you."
He was starting to pick up on more and more of the things Carina talked about. Everything Sarah did seemed to be in line with what Chuck had been told to look out for. And once Sarah returned, Casey had been freed to assist Carina on her mission, leaving Chuck and Sarah alone. A lot. That left plenty of time for Chuck to look out for tells that he was being played. Like, for instance, the sleeping tell.
Chuck first noticed it the first time they went to bed together after Sarah's return. It was the "nap" she'd asked for, and just as they had every time they'd gone to sleep since they first checked into the hotel, before she left, Sarah slept very close to Chuck. But it felt different now. Used to be just snuggling, but now it was like it was just more than it was before. She was somehow even closer than she'd ever been. It was almost like she was trying to sleep inside of him.
While before, her head had rested on his chest, and her arm was always thrown over him, now, almost her whole body was on top of his. And her arm wasn't just thrown over him, it was wrapped around him, and she held him so tight that it almost obstructed his breathing.
If not for Carina's talk, he would've thought nothing of it, but now, he couldn't help but read into it a bit. Especially when it continued over the next few nights. Sarah would always put herself almost completely on top of Chuck, and hold him possessively.
And it wasn't just during sleeping hours. When they were awake, Sarah never seemed to miss an opportunity to squeeze his shoulder when he was sitting at the table doing paperwork. She never passed up a chance to grab his hand, when they were sitting near one another. She would play with his hair for no reason he could think of.
She was in constant contact with him.
And while her face often looked sad, conflicted, or guilty even, she never gave up the physical connection, just like Carina said.
"Most of all, she'll avoid ever telling you anything about herself. Anything real, that is."
"She already told me a lot about herself," Chuck said smugly. "I know where she's from. I know where she went to school –"
"I'm her best friend, did you know about me?" Carina asked.
Chuck hesitated, then shook his head in the negative.
"Do you know anything about her training? Do you know her real name?"
"No," Chuck admitted.
"Do you even know where she was going on her solo mission?"
"I don't," Chuck said.
Carina sighed. "And that's because you're a job to her, Chuck." Chuck started to protest, but Carina cut him off. "I'm not saying that to be mean, I'm just being honest. For whatever reason, it's her job here to keep you interested in her, and that's what she's trying to do. Don't take it personally. It's just work."
"Why are you telling me all this?" Chuck asked, deflated.
Carina shrugged. "I thought you deserved to know. Well that, and whatever the mission here, it seems important."
"And…"
"And if Sarah fails her mission, to keep you interested, they might look to someone else. Someone that could definitely keep you interested. Maybe someone that was up front with you from the start?"
Sarah had been back four days, and still, Chuck hadn't been able to get her to open up. She wouldn't tell him where she'd been, which bothered him. Before she left, he thought they were starting to develop some semblance of a connection. It felt so real, and yet, for whatever reason, she was still hiding things from him.
But more than that, Chuck was bothered by the fact that she wouldn't tell him what was bothering her, and something clearly was. It seemed to be worse whenever Chuck would ask about her solo mission. Before she refused to answer his questions, she would always get this far off look on her face, almost as if she was haunted by something. But then when he'd ask her about it, she'd deny that anything was wrong, and try to change the subject.
Sarah was deflecting at every turn, just as Carina said she would, and that hurt Chuck more than he cared to admit.
That little dance went on for four long, excruciating days. Four days of Sarah refusing to talk, and seemingly needing constant physical contact from Chuck. Four days while Carina and Casey completed their mission.
Finally, on the fifth day, there was a change. It wasn't the change Chuck was hoping for, but at least it would send him back home.
Chuck was watching television when Carina and Casey entered the room. Casey looked upset about something, but whatever it was didn't seem to bother Carina. But then, did anything bother Carina?
"We're done," Casey said tersely.
Sarah emerged from the bathroom. "You," she swallowed, "you killed the Premiere?"
"Nope," Carina said, a little too cheerily. "We got some new intel. They called off the assassination. Seems Goya's going to start playing nice."
Casey growled. It wasn't a happy growl, if such a thing even existed, and Chuck could tell that the veteran agent was very upset by the turn of events. Why would a person be so gung-ho about killing someone else? Chuck didn't get that, at all. But he figured it wasn't really for him to get, so he shrugged it off.
"So what do we do now?" Chuck asked.
"We go back home," Casey answered plainly.
A small smile started to form on Chuck's face. Home. He'd finally get to finish his visit with Ellie before classes started back. That was something to look forward to. And also, maybe once they were home, Sarah would go back to being the person she was before. That would certainly be a relief, as the Pod!Sarah that had replaced his CIA handler was no fun.
"You hear that, Sarah? We get to go home!" he said excitedly.
Sarah didn't seem all that enthused. She looked off into space for a moment, getting that look on her face that she always seemed to get of late before refocusing her attention on Chuck. She sighed, then: "Back to work then, I guess," she said with a shrug before turning and going back into the bathroom.
Casey walked out of the room, probably to go pack up his gear, leaving Chuck alone with Carina.
"Work, huh?" Carina asked. She looked at Chuck with an expression somewhat akin to sympathy. "I'm not going to say I told you so, Chuck, but work?"
It shouldn't have bothered him, he knew. It was just a word. Work. But after everything else that happened. After Sarah started confirming everything Carina warned him about, he was just a bit on edge. "Yeah, I know," Chuck said sadly. "Maybe you were right."
Next Time: Chuck and Sarah are headed back Stateside, but have things between them gotten too strained to correct? Will Sarah wise up, and just communicate with Chuck? And what's her deal, anyway? Also, Sarah will reveal something real about herself to Chuck. What is it? Well, tune in next time to find out!
A/N: Alright, that's it for now, guys. Like I said, I'm now trying to get one of these chapters out every week. This is really the only thing I'm working on currently, and I think doing it that way should help me be more productive. So, yeah, I hope to have this story finished up by at least mid-June. That's the idea, anyway. One other thing. I didn't put any scene-breaks in this chapter. I didn't know if I needed them. If it's too distracting as is, let me know, and I can go back and fix that. Alright, so, I hope you enjoyed the chapter ,and I look forward to your feedback. You guys are awesome. Peace.
