"Yours was the kiss that awoke my heart
There lingers still though we're far apart
That taste of honey
Tasting much sweeter than wine."
-"A Taste of Honey", The Beatles
Everything was packed. The only remaining things that weren't already in suitcases were the clothes they slept in, and the clothes they were wearing home on the plane. It was the way Bella had always traveled, making sure the day of travel was null of anything that could possibly cause any stress. She had managed to pack away all of Renesmee's art supplies without any problems, and even though she would probably want to make more pictures for Charlie before she left, Bella had a feeling Renesmee would be a little more distracted with her dad being there than with drawing another picture.
It was just like it was when she used to wake up in the morning in her old bed in her old room at Charlie's house. The sky would be gray, or raining, sometimes snowing, every once in a while Bella would wake up to sunshine peering through her curtains, but there was always a message from Edward waiting for her when she got up. The only time there wasn't a message was on that particular morning that was slowly, very slowly, starting to fade from her memories.
Edward had left in the wee hours of the morning, or the middle of the night, depending on how you looked at it. The lack of sleep didn't seem to bother Bella in the least, bringing her arms up over her head to stretch her muscles to their limits, the sleepy smile on her face stretching further than her arms. It apparently didn't bother Edward, either, as he had texted her an hour before when the sun was barely over the horizon.
There they were those butterflies. They still fluttered to the surface from just a simple text. They were stronger now than they had ever been, and Bella thought it was because of how everything had come full circle for them all finally. They had all the answers they needed, for now, and as awful as everything had come between them, it wasn't enough to deter them from seeing the bigger picture. The bigger picture was in the form of a small, feisty, curly, bronze hair, green eyed little girl who was already awake, judging by the noise she heard coming from downstairs. Bella was sure all Charlie wanted was to enjoy his coffee with a little peace and quiet, but that was just not going to happen with Renesmee around. The thought brought her back to Edward's text, and she sat up in the mass she called her comforter and read his question silently to herself again.
Can I take you two out to breakfast? Charlie, too.
On the last day of her time in Forks, Bella finally felt free. Free to go to the grocery store, or the bank, and now to the diner without feeling the need to look over her shoulder. Charlie would finally have the chance to show off his granddaughter that no one knew he had.
As she slipped into the shower after poking her head downstairs to make sure everything and everyone was still intact, she wished she hadn't packed away all of her clothes the night before. Their first family outing, besides the benefit which didn't really count since Edward hung in the shadows for the evening, was a big deal. She didn't exactly think that her casual tee and jean shorts would suffice for such a big event in her own little life. It wasn't a big deal to any outsider but to Bella, breakfast with her father, her daughter and her...Edward was huge.
She didn't exactly know what Edward was to her, and for once she didn't care. She knew what she wanted him to be, and judging by his kisses that made her lips swell and her knees weak, she had a good idea that he was thinking along the same wavelengths as she was, however, Bella would take him in any way that she could as long as he was an active member of Renesmee's life.
She finished up in the shower quickly, blow dried her hair even faster, and threw her suitcase on her bed, opening up the lid with her fingers crossed.
What does a girl wear when the love of her life comes back to sweep her and their daughter off of their feet?
There wasn't enough time for a complicated answer, and she ended up throwing on a pair of white shorts that she never wore. Kate had thrown it in her suitcase against her wishes. With a small child like Renesmee running around, Bella and white pants never mixed. But when she threw on a navy and white striped tank top, and a long silver necklace and silver sandals to match, she was grateful it ended up in her suitcase.
What struck her as she looked in the mirror after she had applied some make up was that it wasn't the clothes, or the hair, or the makeup that made her reflection look different. It was herself.
She was that girl she used to be. When she looked in the mirror, she actually believed all of the things that she had tried to convince herself she was. She was strong. She was beautiful. She was worthy of happiness. There was something more to her than being a mother and business woman.
Bella stuck her head down the stairs and shouted, "Hey Little Lady, let's get dressed!"
Renesmee's footsteps followed quickly, stumbling on the bottom step in their haste to make it upstairs. Getting Renesmee dressed for the day was easy, luckily. Normally, there would be multiple arguments over clothes and shoes but since everything was already packed, Renesmee didn't put up a fight and slipped on the clothes that were already laid out for her. Her hair being thick like Bella's and bronze like Edward's made people stop to tell her how cute she was, and with a content smile on her face, Bella pulled it back easily into a ponytail, the bottom of the pony tail bouncing against Renesmee's neck.
After they had finished brushing their teeth, Bella stopped and knelt down so she was looking Renesmee in the eye.
"Daddy wants to take us out to breakfast. How do pancakes with maple syrup sound?"
It was important to Bella that they handle this new familial situation carefully, not wanting to bombard Renesmee too quickly. She wasn't surprised to see her face light up. Two of her favorite things: her daddy and pancakes. Bella laughed, unable to hold in her excitement, either.
"Hurry, go ask Chollipop if he wants to come." She patted her behind softly on the way out, Renesmee shouting loudly and taking the stairs way too fast for Bella's liking. Picking up her phone on the way down stairs, Bella replied to Edward that they were ready whenever he was.
Bella found Charlie and Renesmee in deep conversation at the table in the kitchen, their heads bent together over the table staring at the beginnings of a puzzle.
"A puzzle?" Bella asked, peering over their shoulders on her way over to the coffee pot. The pot was still warm as she grabbed two mugs from the cabinet above. She poured a cup for Charlie and slid it over to him.
"Well, I can't exactly go fishing yet, can I?" Charlie muttered from his place at the table. Bella shook her head and stirred her cup of coffee.
"Afraid not. Not until you're cleared from your doctor to resume normal activities." She did feel sorry for Charlie. Work, fishing, and baseball pretty much defined Charlie Swan, and when you take most of them away, Charlie was left with puzzles, apparently. Bella watched when Renesmee tilted her body upside down so she was looking at Charlie's legs. She came back up a few moments later, red in the face from hanging upside down too long, and spoke to Charlie.
"I don't see any Boo Boo's, Chollipop."
They had explained this many times to Renesmee but being four years old made it challenging to retain the nontangible information.
"Remember, Chollipop's Boo Boos are on the inside. You won't be able to see them." Bella pulled a chair out and joined them at the table.
Renesmee looked thoughtfully at Bella. "Like Nayna's amigraines?"
Bella's stomach dropped at Renesmee's mentioning of Renee. Normally she would have thought Renesmee's mispronouncing of migraines was funny and endearing, but instead Bella fought the urge to vomit into the sink a few feet back. The topic of Renee was something Bella had no desire to touch upon, not now, not for a long time. Her nausea turned to anger.
"Her migraines, yes."
"Speaking of Renee, is there a reason she's been calling me every hour for the last few days?" Charlie looked up from his puzzle. "She hasn't called me this much...ever."
Charlie had too much on his plate for Bella to dump this on him, especially on their last day together before she left him. She sighed loudly before taking another refreshing sip of her coffee.
"I'll talk to her. I've just been busy the last few days, that's all."
Charlie's eyebrows raised in her direction before he focused his attention back to his puzzle. He repeated what she just said, snapping a corner piece into place. "Busy."
"Yes, busy," Bella answered. "Planning the benefit, taking care of you, the actual night of the benefit, and the last few days I've been packing us up. Busy." Sure, she was busy, but not busy enough to pick up the phone to answer one of Renee's millions attempts to contact her. It wasn't happening.
Charlie's mustache twitched, and he didn't look up at her. "Is it a coincidence that Renee starts calling, and you stop answering her, the minute Edward comes back around?" She was trapped. She felt like she was in one of the interrogation rooms down at the station with a bright light shining in her eyes. "Bella."
She looked up at her dad, trying to hide the tears that filled her eyes. His voice was softer, the father in him already knowing the answer to a question he had to ask her on account of being her father. "No, it's not a coincidence, Dad."
He looked up from the puzzle and paused, sighing loudly, "Do I want to know what's going on?"
Bella shook her head. "Probably not."
"You're right. Thanks." Bella laughed, sniffing back the remainder of her momentary sadness. Edward was on his way over and there was no way she wanted to spend their last hours together being her old self she was all too comfortable with. Charlie cleared his throat, apparently not as finished with the conversation as Bella was. "Tell me one thing. Does she have a role in all this?"
"What do you think?" Bella responded, running her hand through the top of Renesmee's head, admiring the way that she could phase out any conversation she wanted and focus solely on another task, even if the task at hand, like the puzzle, was beyond her comprehension.
"I'm not the Chief of Police for nothing. As your father, I was just hoping I was wrong." He cursed under his breath, paused to rub the frustration out of his eyes. He was surprised that he hadn't suspected anything earlier. He couldn't put anything past Renee. If there was something she wanted and if she truthfully believed it was just, then it happened. Somehow she always got her way, despite other people taking the fall for her own mistakes. He had been married to her once, and was a victim himself, as he believed Edward and Bella and even Renesmee were now, too. He continued, " Just...do what you need to do, Bella. Don't listen to her, to me, to him. Listen to yourself."
He looked up at her when she spoke. "I am. For the first time in a long time."
His mustache twisted into a small smile, "How does it feel?"
"So good."
He believed her, too. Looking at her this morning, he knew right away that his daughter was on her way back to being the person she was supposed to be. He knew he had Edward to thank for the sudden transformation, and Renee to blame for somehow allowing her to shrink away from everyone. He didn't want to, or need, to know details. All he knew was that getting into this car accident ended up being the best thing that could have happened to everyone involved.
"I've always trusted your judgment. From day one to now."
Bella covered her Dad's hand with her own. "I know. You've always been in my corner."
It was their way of acknowledging what the last few weeks have been about. Family. Love. Loyalty. Charlie found himself choking back tears. He gave her hand a little squeeze from beneath his own.
"Always am."
"Daddy's here! Daddy's here!" Renesmee pushed the chair back as hard as she could, the floor screeching in protest. Bella wiped away more tears with her hand as Charlie attempted to stand up from the table. She stood up behind him and placed a hand on his elbow to help him steady himself.
"Are you coming to breakfast with us?"
Charlie shook his head, "Nah, you guys go ahead. I've had you all summer, it feels like."
"Looking to get rid of us that fast, are ya?"
"Yeah, you're starting to put a dent in my social life."
"God forbid."
Bella helped get Charlie situated in his spot on the couch with the game on before heading outside to join Renesmee and Edward. When she stepped out onto the porch, the two of them were walking towards her, Renesmee perched happily on the top of Edward's shoulders.
"Wow, when did you get to be so tall!" Bella exclaimed, walking down the porch steps towards them. Both Renesmee and Edward were smiling happily, and Bella was sure her face was a mirror image of what she was looking at. Renesmee's giggles erupted loudly into the air, as Edward flipped her over his shoulder and tickled her sides as he put her back down on the ground.
"I'm not taller now, see?" Renesmee jumped towards Bella, crashing into her with just enough time for Bella to put her arms out to catch her.
"I can see that," Bella laughed, so caught up in the moment that she hadn't had a chance to say anything to Edward yet. When she looked at him to say something, he was already smiling down at her and she answered him back with a smile of her own, words escaping her for the moment.
"Daddy wants to go for a walk! After breakfast, can we, Mommy? I promise I won't get too messy." Renesmee was squeezing her hands, jumping up and down in excitement.
"Only if it's okay with you," Edward interjected, not wanting to interfere with any other plans they might have already made for their last day in Forks. Bella shook her head.
"A walk sounds great." She had a feeling she knew where Edward wanted to take them, and she didn't object at all. Ideally, she would have preferred to wear something a little more comfortable on their hike to the meadow, but things like that didn't matter. She tugged Renesmee's hand gently so she would look up at her.
"Go see if Chollipop has a basket you can put some flowers in on our walk."
"Flowers! I hope I get pink ones, and purple ones, and yellow ones..." Her voice trailed off as she disappeared up the steps and into the house, Bella and Edward laughing behind her. They stayed where they stood outside, turning back to each other once Renesmee was out of sight.
"We really don't have to go if it's too much trouble." Edward looked at her and laughed shyly. "I mean, it could rain once we get out there and - "
"So we'll get wet." She reached for his hands in an attempt to put him at ease.
"I just thought it would be a nice thing to do, you know, before you left."
Bella nodded in earnest, completely agreeing that a trip to the meadow would be a great way to end their trip to Forks. Their hands still intertwined, Edward peered over Bella's shoulder and raised his eyebrows in question before looking back down to Bella.
"May I?"
She knew what he was asking, and she nodded happily, feeling giddy like the teenager she used to be when she was with him.
He peeked over Bella's shoulder one more time before dipping his head down to hers and pressing his lips softly against his own. He thought about them all night long and they were even better than he remembered from just a few hours before. She stood on her tiptoes to reach him, her small body grazing his just barely. He placed his hands on her waist, his fingertips brushing against the fabric of her shirt before breaking away and placing his forehead against hers.
"Hi." She whispered against his cheek, their breathing slowing to normal pace as the seconds ticked by. He squeezed her fingers, sliding them between his own again, loving how her everything seemed so small compared to his.
"Hi."
"I don't know the rules about kissing in front of your daughter. Is that allowed?"
Bella laughed, "I don't know the rules, either. I guess we'll have to make them up as we go along."
They knew they had little time before Renesmee was back outside again, and soon enough she came barreling through the screen door and down the steps, Edward and Bella taking a few steps away from each other despite wanting to be as close as possible. Renesmee held up her basket.
"Here's my basket!"
It was barely a basket; it was an empty pail that Charlie used to use for fishing but for today, it would suffice.
"Is your Dad coming?" Edward asked, walking them towards his car. Bella shook his head.
"Not today. Hold on, I need to grab her car seat."
Ah, it was the small things like a car seat that Edward knew nothing about, and he had a mini panic attack when Bella knelt down towards the backseat to show him how to properly install it. She said this one wasn't as complicated as the one when Renesmee was really little, and a part of him was glad this was a little easier, but another part of him died inside knowing he wasn't there to see it. It was bound to happen now that they were a part of his life again that he would feel those involuntary pangs of guilt and regret for the years he wasn't there, but he figured he had the rest of his life to make it up to Renesmee.
After Bella gave him a quick tutorial on how to get Renesmee in the seat, buckled and all, they climbed into the front seat and slowly pulled out of the driveway. It wasn't a far drive to the diner, but time seemed to fly quickly between them. The normal morning rush filled the parking lot with its regular diners, no denying that the diner was where to find the best breakfast the town had to offer. Renesmee was bouncing in her seat with excitement, a combination of a new adventure brewing before her and a delicious breakfast to fill her up.
Bella's knee bounced nervously in her seat as she eyed the people going in and out of the door, not recognizing anyone just yet. Word was out by now, for sure. It had to be. Renesmee had met most of the town at the benefit and was introduced as Bella's daughter. Granddaughter of the chief. Being the town gossip was something Bella always strayed from, and now it seemed she was delivering the biggest piece of news the town had gotten in decades. Throw in the fact that Edward was with them and the town would never stop talking.
Edward seemed to be thinking the same thing.
"We have nothing to hide." He had parked the car in an open space and hadn't made an attempt to get out just yet.
"Yeah, I know." Bella gestured towards the noise coming from the back seat. "I just don't want anything we do to come back to hurt her." People could be cruel sometimes, even to the most innocent.
Edward nodded, "Nothing, or no one, will get close enough to hurt her. That's what I'm here for." His look of confidence faltered for a brief moment. Bella placed a hand on his arm to reassure him.
"Her own personal bodyguard," Bella remarked. Edward smirked at her and pointed towards the car seat with his thumb. "Can I try?"
"By all means, have at it." She unbuckled her seatbelt and gathered their things while Edward attempted his first try at successfully removing Renesmee from the car. When the final buckle was released, Renesmee squirmed out of her spot, a professional in her own right, and held her arms up for Edward to carry her. Normally she was as independent as they came, but for now she wanted to be as close to him as she could. Bella waited for them to join her on the side of the car, situating the bag on her shoulder with a smile as they approached her. Edward never placed her back down on the ground, and nodded in the direction of the front door.
"Shall we?"
Bella was expecting to hear the sound of a pin drop when they entered, unconsciously stepping closer to Renesmee in an attempt to shield her from whatever could happen. Instead, the bell on the door chimed noisily as they moved through the doors and into an empty booth near the windows, but no one looked up from their meals. Renesmee bounced into the seat, eagerly waiting for the waitress to bring her some crayons and a placemat to draw on. Besides pancakes, it was one of her favorite things about a restaurant. Edward slid in behind her, grinning broadly at the way she found joy in even the smallest of things. It was contagious; Edward couldn't remember the last time he felt so content in every aspect of his life.
The waitress filled the mugs on the table with coffee, the steam from the coffee feeling wonderful against his throat despite the rising summer heat.
"Still take yours black?" Bella asked, sipping the coffee of her own, the second of the day. Normally she would be satisfied with a single cup to last the day but with a long day ahead of her and an even longer evening of traveling back to the other side of the country, a second cup wasn't such a bad idea. Edward nodded and took another slow sip.
"Only way to enjoy it. What about you? Still have a cup of sugar with a side of coffee?"
Bella laughed, shaking her head. "I've cut down drastically on my sugar over the years."
"About time. Any other positive lifestyle changes you've adopted?"
"I no longer wear socks to bed."
"Get out."
"Nope. Too hot."
Edward looked up from his menu in shock, "I can't believe it. All those times when you'd rub your dirty socks on me -"
"Hey! I have cute socks."
"Don't listen to her, Renesmee." Edward said, moving down to whisper into the little girl's ear.
Renesmee giggled at her parents, her little hand covering the smile on her face. "Mommy had stinky socks?"
Edward nodded, "The stinkiest in town. They even had a hole in it!"
"When my socks get holes in them, Mommy makes me throw them away." Renesmee moved so she was back to work on her picture. "Even my ruffly socks."
"Your ruffly socks?" Edward looked back and forth between Renesmee and Bella, waiting for an explanation from either of them. It was Renesmee who answered.
"Yup. They were white and had little white rufflies on the top. I have them in black, too. But not the white ones anymore." She was busy filling in the white of the placemat with a big blue sky, the crayon going back and forth and up and down quickly and haphazardly.
"How about I get you a new pair of ruffly socks?" After he learned what a ruffly was. Renesmee thought about it, putting her index finger on her lip while she continued thinking. Edward, stifling a laugh, looked over at Bella across the table, who was shaking her head in amusement.
"Um, okay. But can we get them in hot pink, too?"
Edward stared at her for a second, getting lost in everything she was for a brief moment. Back in high school, he fell hard and fast for her mother, and now it was happening again, this time much more intense than he remembered.
"Any color you need is yours. Anything you need."
They ordered their breakfasts soon after, a decision that was hard to make when people began to come over to their table to meet Charlie Swan's beautiful granddaughter after watching her steal the show at his benefit. They told them how nice everything was that night and how everyone was still talking about it. Rumor had it everyone had such a good time that they wanted an event like that every summer, minus the car accident, of course. Edward told them he'd speak to Alice about inquiring time and space for next year.
Edward still had a lot to learn when it came to Renesmee, like the way she liked her pancakes and how small to cut the pieces and just how messy she was when syrup was involved, but it never stopped him from trying to do whatever he could to get to know her. In a way, he already knew her and he didn't know if it was because of the type of kid she was or because of the way she was raised, but he knew Bella had a lot to do with that. They were young when they discussed it, but they already knew that somewhere down the line they wanted children of their own, and had the same morals and goals when it came to raising them. Renesmee was walking evidence of that conversation they had, and it pleased him greatly to see that even though Bella hated him when they were apart, she must have not hated him so much as to change their views on parenting.
After they had finished and Edward had paid the bill despite protests from Bella, they slid out of their booth, full from their breakfasts. Bella thought nothing of it when Edward reached for her hand and slid his fingers between hers, Renesmee leading the way out of the diner with a wave to their waitress on the way out. Everything was new but old. New yet natural.
"We should probably head out there now. Before the rain."
Bella nodded at Edward's decision, staring up at the gray clouds hovering in the distance. She was pretty sure she had a small umbrella buried somewhere in their bag, and if not, oh well. A little rain never hurt anyone.
It was one of those times when memories were vastly different than reality. She remembered hiking to the meadow and feeling like the journey would never end, the trees being so tall and their path full of green overgrowth and slick mud. Their journey to get there was always worth it once they did what they always did in the meadow, and on the way back, the two of them would be coming down off their high from each other that the hike would fly by.
But now, maybe it was because she was older, the hike seemed to take half the time and the trees weren't so big and overbearing. It was still as green as always, as the rain always graced its presence, and when the greens tripled in front of their eyes, Bella knew they were there. They had arrived.
"Is this it?" Renesmee called from her place on Edward's shoulders. It wasn't too far into the walk that she had wanted to be scooped up, and Edward happily obliged. It was surreal for him, being in a place that had been a safe haven for both himself and Bella, and having the opportunity to take their daughter with them for their trip back to the meadow in so long.
"This is it."
It was smaller than they remembered, but still just as beautiful. Wild flowers grew in colors far and wide, filling the meadow with life.
"It's so pretty," she said in awe, wondering if her basket would be big enough to carry all of these flowers. Mommy would have to put some in her bag.
She was right. Not only was it beautiful, but it was so peaceful, almost as peaceful as the sound of the waves right outside her window back at home. Her problems seemed to disappear when she was surrounded by such natural beauty, humbling her as they stood side by side, the three of them on the perimeter of the circle of land. She had lost herself so many times in this place, and could easily do it again. Usually it was Edward she was getting lost in, and this time was no different.
He was easily the most beautiful man she had ever seen, making the boy he was in college seem like an amateur in comparison. That was saying a lot, especially since that boy made it almost impossible for her to keep her hands off of him. Yes, getting lost in him again was entirely possible, if not definite. She was thankful Renesmee was with them; she wasn't sure if she could trust herself to be this alone with Edward just yet.
"Go ahead," Bella said, bending down next to Renesmee to hand her her basket.
She took the basket, quickly running over to the area where the taller flowers hovered to consume her.
"Is here good?" Edward had walked over a few yards and looked around to see if the spot had a good view on Renesmee. He was learning already.
"It's perfect."
It really was. Everything was, and it hadn't been so perfect in a painfully long time. Bella watched as Edward spread out a blanket before them, motioning for her to sit down. He followed after her, trying not to stare as she folded her long, tanned legs under her.
"When was the last time you were here?"
Edward scoffed into the air, his eyes widening in deep thought. "I can't remember, maybe sometime last year. I don't come here too often. Too hard."
Bella nodded, understanding why it would have been difficult to come back to a place like this during a time when it was hard to see the beauty in the world.
"Honest moment coming." They had sat in comfortable silence for the last few minutes, staring at Renesmee as she galloped through the open field.
"Oh boy." Bella laughed and Edward squeezed her hand that he hadn't let go of since the diner. He looked up at her from his spot next to her on the blanket, his elbows supporting his weight. Bella's breath caught in her throat at the sight of him.
"I'm scared that I won't know all the things that you do. I mean, I'm just looking at the size of the bag you brought and how much stuff is in there for her and I'm terrified that I won't know what she needs, when she needs it." He sounded so vulnerable and defeated that it made her heart hurt.
"Hey." She moved so he was looking at her again, the softness in her eyes making his self-esteem momentarily boost. "You're not supposed to. This all takes some time, and you'll be surprised how fast you're going to catch on."
"Not as fast as I'd like. I keep second guessing myself."
"Well, stop. You're doing amazing, and like you said before, you're here now. Now is the time to start fresh. For all of us. This is kind of a big deal."
Edward smiled, releasing her hand so he could run his own through his hair. He exhaled loudly into the air, "It is, isn't it? I'm just trying not to fuck it up."
"That makes two of us." She reached for his hand again, already missing the contact. She continued. "But we're parents, not perfect. There will come a time when we think we're making the right choices for her but end up finding out at the end that our choice wasn't the best."
Her stomach dropped the minute she said it.
"Like Renee." Edward's voice wasn't cold but it wasn't welcoming. She had to agree with him, even though it bothered her that the topic of Renee had somehow made its way into conversation for the second time today.
"I don't think we can fuck it up that bad."
Edward took both of her hands now and held them tight, looking her in the eyes, "I promise you that will never happen."
There would come a time when the topic of Renee and what she had done to them wouldn't hurt so badly, but it wasn't that time yet. Bella disappeared into herself for a few minutes, allowing her anger to seethe through her mouth.
"I could never hurt her like that. That's what the hardest thing is for me right now. I grew up with Renee, I knew how she was, how she handled things, how she panicked at any sign of commitment, her own or not, and I still just cannot wrap my head around this one."
Edward allowed her time to express her anger. "Do you know how many times I've asked myself that?"
"She destroyed so many people because of this. You , me, Renesmee. My God, I lost you. I lost Alice, my best friend. I lost your parents, your family, who treated me like one of their own since the day I met them. She kept them from knowing Renesmee. She kept Renesmee from knowing where she came from, depriving her of so much."
"But look at her. That's where you come in. That little girl knows nothing but love, even if she wasn't able to get it from me or my family. You've loved her enough for all of us."
"How could I not? She was the only thing I had left, the only thing I had of you. How could I try to move on with my life when I had her to remind me of us?"
"Did you? Try to move on?" He didn't expect her to be shunned or live her life like a nun, God knows he hadn't. The thought of another man being in his place, being with Bella the way that he had, made his vision turn to green. Ugly green.
"Didn't you?" She answered with a shrug of her shoulders.
"Yeah, but nothing ever worked." It was true. And even if something had the potential to become something more than what he planned on, he didn't want it.
"It seems we were living the same life, you and I. Just a few thousand miles apart." She was staring at Renesmee again, her hair blowing in the soft breeze that was pleasant during the summer. He wanted to run it through his fingers.
He shook his head at her words. "I really hope you weren't living the life that I was. I was a sad excuse for a human being. If I wasn't being a dick to everyone, it was because I just didn't bother getting out of bed. If I did get out of bed and was having a particular bad day, I'd try to forget it all. All of it. Of course that never worked, it just made me more focused on how miserable I was without you, and I'd just wake up in the morning hungover like you wouldn't believe."
Bella moved so she was facing him on the blanket, her legs still folded under her but his eyes knew how close they were to him. He wanted to run his fingers over those, too.
"I never had the chance to be hungover. I think the first time I even had a glass of wine was when Renesmee was almost three years old and Kate kept refilling my glass at our holiday party for work. Before then, I was knee deep in breastfeeding, and when that didn't work it was finding the right formula, and after that it was making sure she wasn't choking on the new foods she was able to have. Then there was potty training and temper tantrums and the latest, preschool."
He shook his head, breathing in deeply at the thought of Bella doing everything on her own. "You had to pretend that everything was okay. For her."
"For her, yes, but for everyone else, too. I didn't want anyone's pity so on the outside, I was happy and successful but on the inside, I...didn't have you."
"You have me now."
Bella looked at him seriously, doubt and fear apparent in her eyes though she tried to hide it. "Do I?"
He took her face in his, not caring if Renesmee was in view. It was a good thing, he thought, to see your parents happy with each other. Neither he nor Bella knew the rules when it came to this, so if he messed this one up, well, it was worth it.
"Bella, you've always had me."
"Even that day?"
"Especially that day."
She didn't wait for him to finish, instead moving her face forward to press her lips to his. His hands still cupped her face, her hands gently resting against his elbows. His tongue tasted of syrup and fresh air, two things Bella all of a sudden couldn't get enough of, even though she also her fair share of both of those things. He broke apart eventually, pressing smaller kisses on her lips while they caught their breath. He looked over at Renesmee, still oblivious to everything except her flowers and her basket.
"I still don't know how I did it. Maybe it was because I already knew I was going to tell you everything later that night. I never expected you to leave. If I did, I would have told Renee to fuck off. No offense."
Bella shook her head and agreed with him wholeheartedly. "None taken. And you probably should have told her, anyway. You know I would have chosen you."
"Would have?"
"Still do."
He grinned at her again, this time catching her off guard and pulling her down to him. Their lips found each other again, already falling into their favorite places. Her bottom lip caught between his, her hands itching to dive into his hair. Back in the day they had to be wary of wandering parents and eavesdropping brothers and sisters, but now they had another, bigger force to reckon with. Renesmee.
"So there aren't any boyfriends I'm going to have to fight off back at home?" He asked once they were able to pry themselves apart, his fingers making their way to her knee. So close to the smoothness of her leg that he had been aching to touch since she stepped out of the house earlier that morning. The sound of Bella's laughter tinkled throughout the air around them.
"No, no boyfriends. There were a few hopefuls over the years but I always kept them at arm's length. None of them were even close enough to meet Renesmee and none of them were you."
Good. Not that any man could stop him now, or keep him from her. She was his. He was hers, as it always should have been.
The time trickled by too quickly, and Bella found herself wrapped within his arms for the remainder of their time in the meadow, the two of them watching Renesmee scuttle from one thing to the next.
"When summer school ends in three weeks, I'm coming to Florida until school starts again."
She turned in his arms, staring at him. "Are you sure? I don't want to force you to uproot your whole summer."
"Bella, if it was up to me, I'd be coming with you tonight or you'd be staying here. You're not forcing me. Being with you two is the only place I want to be."
"You're going to make her so happy."
"I can feel her saving me."
"She's been my savior since the day I saw her."
"Our savior now."
The rain clouds were looming above them, forcing them to pack their things, flowers and all. Renesmee was almost asleep by the time they made it back to the car, and Bella had jokingly told Edward that his first test would be to somehow put Renesmee in her car seat without disturbing her. If he succeeded, he'd officially be declared a professional and when he was triumphant, he did a little victory dance to the driver's seat, hearing Bella's laugh coming from the inside of the car.
It was the best kind of music to his ears.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
They knew saying goodbye at the airport would be hard.
They had scooped Charlie up on the way back from the meadow, Edward offering to take him home after the girls had gotten on the plane. He didn't want to impose but he wanted one last time with them before they left. Charlie knew they'd be back in Forks, at some point. He didn't know when but he knew it wouldn't be the last time they would all be at the airport together.
"So how are we going to get through these three weeks again?" Edward had walked them as far as he could go without having a ticket, pondering whether he had time to purchase a ticket to anywhere if it meant he could walk them to their gate. Bella's question weighed heavily between them. They had already discussed this in the car on the way to pick up Charlie. They stopped at the gate, Charlie and Renesmee a few yards behind them at the small gift shop so Renesmee could have yet another stuffed animal to add to her growing collection.
"Skype. Every night, no matter the time. Email. My phone will be glued to my hand so expect a lot of calls and texts."
Bella nodded, knowing that all their ways of communication wouldn't be enough for her or Renesmee. Edward pulled her to him one last time, playing it safe and kissing her gently, not the way he wanted to. What he really wanted to do was not safe in front of Renesmee. Or Charlie. Or at the airport.
"No tears," he whispered. "We did it for five years. What's three weeks, right?" He tried to sound positive but his voice wavered with sadness.
Bella nodded, her focus moving to Renesmee and Charlie who joined them. Edward opened up his arms to Renesmee again, inhaling her scent deeply so he had something to get him through the next three weeks. Bella and her father did the same, their eyes both red and glistening when they pulled apart.
"It's time, sweetie."
An hour was forever to Renesmee, so waiting three weeks was an eternity. She was happy that they would be Skyping, whatever that was, every night. She made her Daddy promise to bring Charlie over to Skype, too, before the four of them became two separate groups of two.
It was torture watching them disappear, even more so when Edward watched their flight information vanish from the boards. He was true to his word though, and Bella found an email from him in her Inbox when she was able to turn her phone back on once they landed several long and painful hours later.
From: Edward Cullen
To: Bella Swan
Subject: Come Back To Me
Bella,
I know we said that these three weeks will be good for us, that it will give us time to grow and heal apart so we can be stronger together, but I have to be honest. (Again, I know). Watching you and Renesmee leave tonight was one of the hardest things I've done, even harder than making the deal with Renee. I've spent the last five years at rock bottom, and being with you the last few weeks have made me come back to the surface, to the land of the living, and I didn't even know how much I missed it. How much I missed everyone. And now that I finally have you back, I'm so scared that it's not real, that somehow I've been dreaming this whole time and I'm going to wake up to the darkness again.
I think I'll feel better once I know you and Renesmee are on the ground again, safe and locked in your home. I know tomorrow you'll be exhausted from the flight but I'll be waiting to hear from you.
I hope Renesmee was cooperative for you tonight - I know that plane rides can sometimes turn even the most angelic children into something not of this earth. From what I gather, you'll have your hands full but it isn't anything you can't handle. I hope she, and you, were able to get some sleep on the plane.
This email seems a little scattered. Sorry. I walked in the door and just aimlessly wandered around for a while, not really knowing where to go or what to do. I'm anxious because I need to know you two are okay and so, I can't really get my thoughts together just yet. Next email will be a little more put together, I promise.
I need to thank you. For so much I don't even know where to begin. For starters, thank you for allowing me this second chance. I still can't believe I can actually say those words and have it be true, unless I was right about my dream theory. Thank you for bringing Renesmee into my life. It's hard for me to think of a life without her, even though our time together was too short because of my own stupidity. I can't wait to make it up to her. And you.
In all our attempts to get things right this time around, I never got around to telling you how beautiful I think you are, not just because you're the mother of my child but because I look at you and you take my breath away. You always have, back then and now.
I'm counting down the minutes until I can kiss you again.
-Edward