Chapter 21– Return

"You live in muggle London?"

We walk from the apparation point to the large building which contains my flat.

Draco jumps at the sound of a car horn.

"Is that a problem?" I ask.

"No, no," he replies, running his fingers through his hair. "Just unexpected is all."

I look at him, a bit puzzled.

"You sent the package. How could you not know where I lived?"

"I sent the owl blind. He wasn't too happy with me." he says. "Why muggle London?"

"It gives some extra separation between work and home. I feel safer," I explain.

"Guess that makes some sense," he says, a bit uncertain.

Pushing through the front doors, I lead the rather quiet Draco Malfoy to the lift.

"Muggles have these too?"

He's remembering the one at the Ministry which works a bit differently than the one here.

I just nod my head and press the button for the fourth floor.

"So, are you telling me, that after all this time, you've never been inside a muggle building?" I'm a bit shocked, but I guess I shouldn't be considering what he was brought up to believe.

"I have, just not under the best circumstances," he explains quietly, glancing at his shoes. He's talking about the attacks on muggles that happened during the war and I can hear the shame laced in his voice. "Haven't really needed to since then"

The doors slide open and I turn to the left and move down the hall until I come to my door.

"Why don't you just use magic?" he whispers as I dig in my bag for my keys.

"Muggle building," I remind him, pulling them out and unlocking the door. "Doesn't it make you feel just a bit safer knowing that most people who live around here can't unlock your door whenever they want? No one can just floo over unannounced?"

"That's what wards are for Granger," he tells me.

"And you don't think someone could figure out a way around them? I've seen it happen." I shake my head and push open the door.

It looks a bit different from the way I left it.

Maybe it's just because of everything that's gone on, or from when Harry and Ron were looking for the clues, but it seems odd to be back.

It's home.

And it's been a long time.

A lot has changed.

I tilt my head slightly, examining the room.

It's simple. Wood floors, grey walls, mismatched furniture.

I couldn't afford much after I gave up everything so my parents could start over.

Yes, I was given quite a lot after the war, ministry claimed I was a war hero and all, but I couldn't bring myself to use it. Felt like blood money.

But now, it seems too . . . normal. The same as before, yet different and far too still.

Maybe I should redecorate.

"It's nice," Draco tells me, looking around.

"Yeah right," I reply sarcastically. "It's small, and everything is inexpensive second hand."

"Are you alright?" he turns back to face me. "Coming back here. I mean, they know where you live and they haven't all been caught yet."

"They're not going to come after me," I tell him.

"How can you know that for sure?"

"You know the same as I do that they will be in recovery mode. They've lost their leaders. Defense not offense," I say. "Now, why don't you go sit and I'll bring you something to drink."

Wait.

I cringe, thinking about what my refrigerator must look like at the moment.

I pause before following him to the sofa and sitting beside him.

"What happened to the drink?" he asks.

"About that, I realized I want to put off opening that door for a little bit longer. Been gone for quite a while now," I explain.

"Right." Pause. "Why am I here?"

"I told you –

"No, why am I here. Not Potter or Weasley, me," Draco clarifies.

I sigh.

"They don't understand. They can't," I tell him.

"And I do," he adds.

I just nod.

He keeps questioning things and I don't know why.

I don't know what I expected. For us to suddenly be okay and madly in love?

He's never actually said it.

And we're in a different situation now.

But even the thought of being away from him right now scares me.

There's a knock.

I know who it probably is.

Harry told me as much.

Draco raises his brows from beside me as I stand. He wants to know if I'm worried.

I shake my head, turning to walk down the hall. I've got this.

"Ron," I say, opening the door.

"I brought something from mum. Said you might need something to eat," he tells me, holding out a bag.

I smile.

Mrs. Weasley is always so kind.

"I'm," he sighs, "I'm sorry."

That's big, coming from him.

"I didn't know what to believe and everything was completely bonkers, and I didn't want to lose you again. I was afraid," he explains.

"I know," I say. "I know, you were afraid, and you didn't know what to do or how to deal with it. But you're here, now, and that means so much."

I gently place the bag on the floor and throw my arms around him.

Ron. Sweet, caring, completely unaware, Ron.

But he'll always be one of my best friends.

"Can I come inside?" he asks tentatively.

I hesitate.

He'll find out eventually, but do I really want that day to be now?

"Hermione?"

I don't want to hurt him, and I know how he can hold a grudge. . .

"Fine," I say quietly, holding the door and stepping aside to let him pass.

Grabbing the bag of food, I quickly place it on the counter before grabbing his arm and leading him past Draco to the bedroom.

"Why's he here?" Ron demands to know.

"I know you don't trust him. I know you still hold a grudge for what happened at Hogwarts, but that was long enough ago now for you to let that go," I tell him.

"Why should I?"

"Because things have changed. And I need him in my life."

He's quiet. Sad. A little angry.

"You still haven't answered my question," he says.

"I asked him to be here." I don't want to hurt him, I really don't, but I know the revelation will be like a knife wound in his chest.

"And not me."

"Ron-

"Harry said there was more to this than I know. Is that true? Was I just too thick headed to see it?" So, Harry told him. I'm not sure whether to be upset or relieved.

"Yes, well, for me I guess. We're still working through a lot." I pause. "And I know how you can get stuck in the way you're thinking. Only didn't tell you because I didn't want to start a fight between us."

I see tears in his eyes and his hands form fists at his sides. But he clears his throat and does his absolute best to keep the angry words at bay.

He remains silent, with only his tight breaths letting his struggle show.

"How could you do this to me?" Ron finally snaps.

He swallows and takes a deep breath. I am so surprised and proud that he is at least trying to control himself this time. I wonder what Harry said.

"What happened to us? I always thought. . ." He struggles to finish. "I always thought that you needed time, that you had so much going on. But one day, we would . . . I waited for you."

"I know." I take a breath. "It didn't work. It would have never worked, Ron. And I mean that in the best way. I realized after things began to settle that you're like a brother to me, and always will be. And we broke up because of that. Please understand. I do love you, but it's more of a family or close friend love and us together like that for too long, it would have ruined everything."

"Yeah." He sniffs.

And once again, I pull him into a tight embrace. He's stiff for a moment but gradually, his form softens and I feel his arms come around me.

We'll be alright.

Things may have changed.

But we'll be alright.

He steps back and takes a seat on the bed.

"I also wanted to tell you that Harry and I have made up," he says.

I am so relieved.

I couldn't stand that my friends were fighting and I hated that they were blaming each other for what happened.

"I shouldn't have blamed him for my own mistakes," he continues.

I sit on the bed beside him.

"What do you mean?" I ask softly.

He doesn't look at me.

Doesn't speak for a moment.

And it gets to the point when I wonder if he really will tell me.

"I gave up," he starts. "I gave up looking. It had been so long." He takes a deep breath. "Everyone else who had been taken by them, they were dead within the first week. And we weren't finding anything. We were stuck and the clues weren't making sense. And I gave up." He sniffs. "When you first went missing, I promised myself and you that I would never stop. But they made it look like . . . I mourned for you. Thought you were dead. But Harry kept looking. Henever stopped. He's the one who realized that we actually hadn't found all the clues, that there was one we must have missed. He's the one who found it. And I blamed him for everything because it was easier than blaming myself."

He thought I was dead.

Suddenly, everything makes sense.

Projection.

He felt so guilty for giving up that he pushed that guilt onto Harry.

And now that he and Harry have made up it's eating him alive.

"Ron, look at me," I tell him.

His eyes are red and watery as he fights to hold back his tears.

"I don't blame Harry, and I don't blame you either. Yes, it took a while to find me. I knew it might. I knew it might be very difficult to piece everything together, if you even found everything in the first place. Am I going to say it doesn't hurt that you gave up? No. But I do understand. I understand why things happened the way they did. We have to move forward. This isn't where our lives end, it's where they change directions. We just have to find where this new path leads."

He doesn't say anything, simply sends me a small smile that tells me he's okay. We're okay.

We'll be okay.

Author's Note:

Hello everyone! My posting schedule is a little off now, sorry about that. I wanted to get this up for you guys as soon as possible, so it might need another edit. Let me know if you caught anything. I also struggled with the ending of this chapter. Originally, I had left it with Hermione's little speech at the end there, but thought it was too abrupt. Let me know what you thought.

Things are a little awkward between Hermione and Draco, but I hope that isn't too frustrating. For me personally, things wouldn't be all fluffy and good right after the trauma, especially when they didn't really know each other before hand. They need to spend some time together outside the trauma first. Again, I would love to hear what you think about it.

Thank-you so much for all the reviews, you guys have been so amazing. I have one more chapter written at the moment but I still have to decide if that's the end.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you have an awesome week!