Shrugging, she took another sip of her rapidly cooling coffee. He desperately needed a chance to talk to her but right now didn't seem to be the right time. There was so much that they needed to talk about that he didn't know how to begin. Neither particularly wanted to dig up past demons but knew at some point they would have to start opening up or their relationship would be doomed just like it was in Paris. Taking a deep breath Gibbs decided to take the first step, as all Jenny was doing was staring intently into her coffee. "Jenny we need to talk." He said rubbing his thumb over the smooth surface of the coffee cup. She looked up at him with a blank expression. She must have known this was coming too. The difference was that she didn't seem as keen as him to talk. Jenny sighed and brushed a strand of hair out of her face.

"About what Jethro?" She asked tiredly but when she spoke again her voice was more accepting. "What could we possibly have to talk about anymore?" She pleaded looking desperately into his eyes. He thought for a moment with his lips set firmly.

"Why won't you let me in?" He asked after a deafening silence. She looked shocked for a moment at what he said but then it was gone.

"What?" She asked in disbelief. He looked at her with a cross between curiosity and anticipation. When he didn't speak she shook her head and rolled her eyes. After staring him down for a good minute she sighed and set her hands down on the table. "Maybe it's because I don't think I can talk to you without making myself look desperate and needy Jethro, did you ever think of that?" She asked as she stood up and slid out of the booth grabbing her coffee and leaving. He sighed and shook his head lightly, watching her as she strode purposefully out of the door and to her car. He honestly thought that sitting down and having a real conversation with her would prove that he was ready to listen and participate. But she was being more stubborn and closed off than he thought. He knew she had always been a private person but this was seriously concerning him. He wondered why she was holding back so much from him.

After some thinking he realized why she felt the way she did. It started just before they worked in Serbia together. They had grown close, working together every day; stolen glances and flirtatious teasing. And they always had each other's back in the field. But when it came down to it they barely knew anything about each other. In Serbia, the long nights and endless gun fights they had learned each other's ins and outs. What kind of cereal they liked, which side of the bed they slept on, their routines and daily exercises were memorized. They worked flawlessly as a team, efficient and effective. However their lives before they knew each other were a complete mystery.

When they got to Paris Jenny felt comfortable enough to open up to him. She shared her general thoughts and feelings to him and sometimes he did the same, emphasis on the sometimes. He usually only spoke when spoken to but when they had a conversation going it was fun and flirtatious. Sometime in between Serbia and Paris they had kissed. And somewhere in between Serbia and Paris they had started something. Call it what you like, a relationship, an affair, friends with benefits. Then the second night at a stakeout in Marseille was the first time that they "did it". And from there you could, with definite certainty, call what they had an affair, that spread hallway across Europe. She had begun to talk to him about her past when things came up. But his lips were tightly sealed. That was the beginning of the end. When he would wake up in a cold sweat and the blankets tangled in his legs she would try and comfort him, ask him what was wrong, but he would just push her away. After that things were tense between them. He would say something with a nasty undertone and then he would say or do something almost wearily, like it was her fault he was acting so cross. She couldn't deal with it anymore: the lies, the secrets and the closed lipped defiance. So eventually she left him with nothing but a Dear John. In her letter she had told him how she felt like she was the only one to talk about her life, like he didn't trust her with his. She had tried to coax it out of him a few times, because she knew relationships weren't built on secrets.

He was angry at himself. He shouldn't have shut her out like that. And now he lost his chance with her. He thought that maybe now with Lauren he would get his second chance to at least be in her life but she didn't even seem to want that, though she said it. It crossed his mind that maybe she was saying all these things for Lauren's benefit. Running a hand tiredly down his face he knew if he really wanted to be in Jenny's life, and he did, that he would have to try a hell of a lot harder.

. . .

Figuring she had a few hours to kill before the baby sitter expected her back from lunch she decided to get some things sorted out with the court. Pulling out her phone she dialed Heather's number. She answered after a few rings just as Jenny was stopping at a red light. "Hello?" Heather asked.

"Hey Heather it's me." She said distractedly as she pulled out her address book and tried to find out where the social services' building was again.

"Hey, everything alright?" She asked concerned as the light turned green and she stepped on the gas while holding the phone in one hand and opening her address book with the other.

"Yeah everything's fine. I'm going to go talk with child services today and get an attorney for my case. I was just wondering whether you still have all the previous reports with the other judges I asked you to keep." Jenny said finding the address and almost bumping the car in front of her. Heather hesitated for a moment, thinking if she did or not.

"Yeah I kept them. They're in a box in my attic. I'll fax them to you." Heather said and Jenny smiled.

"Thanks Heather, I'll talk to you later." She said and Heather chuckled.

"No problem, love you."

"Love you too, bye." She said and hung up. Closing her phone she set it down in the cup holder next to her while flipping through the address book. But she didn't see the oncoming car as she ran the red light. And in less than the time it takes to blink your eye her car was being T-boned. With a surprised shout she was jerked to the side. Her head connected with the steering wheel and the whole world went black.

. . .

The babysitter was getting concerned. Miss Shepard was supposed to be home an hour ago. Deciding to call Lauren's mother she pulled out her phone but when she didn't get an answer she started to get worried. Realizing Miss Shepard had given her another number to call in case for some reason she wasn't available she pulled out that number and dialed it. After a few rings a man picked up. "Hello?" The gruff voice asked. She sighed in relief and walked out of the room where Lauren was watching television so she wouldn't worry the little girl.

"Hello Mr. Gibbs its Amanda, Lauren's babysitter. Miss Shepard hasn't come home yet and I was wondering if you could get ahold of her." The teenager asked and Gibbs furrowed his brow. Didn't Jenny leave the coffee shop well over an hour ago?

"I'll call her and get back to you." He said not waiting for her to answer before hanging up. He tried Jenny's cell three times before getting angry. The fourth time he called he left her an angry voicemail. "What happened to rule three Director? Your daughter needs you!" He spat before slamming the phone closed and taking a deep breath. He had held himself up in the elevator and opening his phone back up he dialed the babysitter's number.

"Hello?" She answered.

"I can't get ahold of Jenny. I'll be there in ten minutes." He said before hanging up again completely frustrated. Sure she was mad at him but it didn't mean she had to go an abandon her child! When he got to the Shepard household he walked right in surprising the babysitter who jumped slightly. But Lauren's face just lit up and she ran to Gibbs, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. He gave her his signature half smiled and patted her back. Pulling a twenty out of his pocket he handed it to the babysitter. "You can go." He instructed and swallowing nervously she gathered her things and left giving Lauren a quick goodbye.

"Where's mommy?" Lauren asked prancing around the room. He thought about how to answer that and hesitated for a moment.

"She couldn't make it home on time so she asked me to come over." He said and Lauren nodded happily.

"That's okay I'm kinda mad at Mommy and I like you Gibbs." She said before running up the stairs. Confused he walked up after her.

"Why are you mad at your mom?" He asked following the sound of her voice to a room upstairs. When he entered he was honestly surprised at what he saw. It was a little sitting room with bookshelves and arm chairs and a baby grand piano in the corner. He didn't know she played. Lauren was climbing up on the bench when he got there.

"Because she doesn't know me like Aunt Heather knows me. And plus she leaves me in California with her all year." Lauren said her face scrunched up in disgust. Then it was gone and she started plucking around on the keys of the piano. It was perfectly in tune. He raised an eyebrow skeptically at her.

"But you like your aunt Heather right?" He asked sitting down next to her. She shrugged.

"Yeah of course I love my Aunt Heather but I mean…she's not my mommy." Lauren shrugged again and started playing the piano hitting each key three times starting at middle C and working her way up.

"Well you know that your mom is trying to keep you. She doesn't want to give you up again." He said trying to find her gaze.

"Yeah." She shrugged again and continued to play. Gibbs sighed and set his fingers on the piano deciding to play with her until Jenny got home. Then he would have a stern talking with her about storming off and leaving her child alone with a frightened babysitter. She has obligations to come home now and take care of a child; she can't just go gallivanting off whenever she wants anymore.

"Do you know how to play heart and soul?" Gibbs asked her and she nodded her head enthusiastically.

"Yeah mommy taught me how to play! We used to play it all the time but then I didn't see mommy for like a year and a half so I haven't played in while. And Aunt Heather and Uncle Ben don't have a piano. And Anna and Jacob don't know how to play." She said setting her fingers down to play the bottom part of heart and soul. "You ready?" She asked and giving her a half smile he nodded and positioned his hand. "Okay one, two, three, go!" She announced and started playing. Though she wasn't that great it was still fun to spend time with the girl who might possibly be her daughter.

I'm really sorry for not updating in like a month! The first few weeks of school have been absolutely crazy and every day I have something going on. After September I'll be able to update more frequently. Oh and I've started the countdown: seven days until the NCIS season kicks off, or six if you're reading this on 9/18