Note:

I just re-read the whole all the chapters that I've uploaded so far and found some core mistakes *shame shame* … apology apology!!! X_X first thing first, the ring Ji Hoo has is not from his mother but his grandmother!!! AND like the last few reviews been telling me *thank you people* that Jae Kyung's bodyguard is not Wang but Chen. Truthfully at that time I didn't remember at all what was her name and idea was flowing and I couldn't be bothered to research so I just named her 'Wang' :p poor Chen. Hehehehehe

Since the name mistake is just in the previous chapter, I will fix it after this :p Sorry everyone!!! ^^

Chapter Twenty One: of the untold secrets

Jae Kyung took one last look at her room for the last 3 months in the hospital. Somehow she had a feeling she would miss it. Today was her release day. She was going home. Nurse Jang had hugged her and wished her well. She had laughed and said she would be back twice a week anyway for therapy.

Dr. Lee had accompanied them both to the lobby where the car was waiting. Jae Kyung turned to look at the vast lobby; secretly wishing a certain chestnut hair doctor was also there. She counted to ten then gave up and got into the car.

Her mind still reeling over the information she got from Chen last week. She had reported back to her that Ji Hoo indeed visited her almost daily for the last one year. He always brought with him only white lilies, never other flower. The piano and violin were put there around 3 months before she woke up. Most of his visits lasted for around one hour but the nurses Chen had approached didn't know what he was doing inside and Nurse Jang was tightlipped.

Why all the secrecy?

What was wrong with visiting her?

Why had he avoided her so badly now that she was awake but visited her daily while she was sleeping?

Jae Kyung went out with Jandi two days later. She had dragged Jandi to shop for clothes. Being asleep for 17 months was a bad idea, nothing she own was up to the latest trend so she decided to upgrade her wardrobe. Plus she didn't have anything to wear to Jandi's engagement dinner party this coming weekend!

"I told you, casual would be fine." Jandi sighed as Jae Kyung dragged her to another store.

"Your definition of casual is out of this world, Jandi. As if I don't know you! Tell me, what is the dress you are wearing from?"

"It's a white long dress from… I don't know… oscar something." Jandi shrugged, sitting down and took off her shoes to rest her aching feet.

"Oscar De La Renta. There is nothing casual from that designer!" Jae Kyung huffed.

"Relax. You'll find something nice…" Jandi said as she looked at Jae Kyung's frustrated face.

"I'm hungry." Jae Kyung announced suddenly while standing in the middle of Givency's boutique. Jandi looked at her best friend, amused at how fast her mood and mind swing from one thing to another.

They settled at a sandwich house nearby and sat at the outdoor tables facing the road. When it came to food, although having a lot of money, Jae Kyung preferred daily common food rather than expensive fine dining restaurants.

"Something is bothering you?" Jandi asked as she sipped her cappuccino.

"What makes Junpyo a better man than Ji Hoo?"

Jandi almost choked hearing the totally unexpected question.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know where that come from…" Jae Kyung apologized. She bit her nail and looked away.

Jandi was silent for a while before answering, "What makes you think that Ji Hoo is a better man?"

"I never said he is a better man!" Jae Kyung argued.

"You certainly think so when you asked that…" Jandi smirked.

"ARRGGG… I don't know. This is too confusing for me!" Jae Kyung grumpily put her head on the table in a resigned manner.

"Yah… what is really wrong? You've been acting weird the last one week."

Jae Kyung sighed, "Why doesn't Ji Hoo want me to know that he came a lot to see me when I was sick? What was he hiding?"

"You… you knew?"

"I have my ways and I'm not stupid. You guys all knew but never told me too!" she grumpily added.

"It was not our story to tell, unnie…" Feeling uneasy, Jandi had unconsciously reverted back to calling Jae Kyung with honorific.

"Jae Kyung."

"Huh?"

"I told you to call me by my name."

She sighed. "I'm sorry… nothing is your fault. I had another bad dream last night. Then I totally couldn't sleep a wink."

"Are you ok? Was it that bad?" Jandi began to worry and for the first time noticed the dark circles under her friend's eyes.

"It's bad and repetitive. I had it like 4-5 times when I was in the hospital. After I've gone home, last night was the second time."

Curious, Jandi asked what was the dream about. Jae Kyung munched her fries and contemplated whether she should tell or not.

"Someone died in my dream… or I think someone died…" she looked out into the street as drizzle of rain began to pour from the sky. Jandi waited for her friend to collect her thoughts.

"It always begins with footsteps and the feeling of cold like the winter wind. Sometimes… I hear someone cries. I think it's a male from the ragged voice. He cried like it's the end of the world.

Sometimes… I feel that person held my hand so tightly I thought it would bruise when I wake up.

But the worst thing is that, the dream made me feels so scared. There is a sense of urgency and panic in it. I always wake up in panic, sometimes in tears, I know there is something I must do but I can never remember what…"

Jandi's heart went to her best friend's obvious distress. Jae Kyung had tears in her eyes and she was biting her nails in frustration. She blinked a few times to control her emotion and took a deep breath. Her eyes had a far away look like she was trying hard to recall the dream.

"I know that someone fall beside me. After a few times I connected that maybe I was panicking for that person. I know he needed help but for what? There was only one thought every time I woke up from this dream… that I must get up now. I have to wake up. I have to wake up. I have to wake up.

It is so frustrating, Jandi! I began to fear going to sleep. I don't like feeling scared especially that I don't know why I'm scared!!" Tears slipped from her eyes, Jae Kyung quickly wiped them away. Her lips trembled in obvious attempt of holding back.

Jandi began to suspect of when this 'dream' took place… could it be that it was her memory of waking up for the first time? It fitted everything. That night Jae Kyung had spoken 'help him' though no sound but Jandi read her lips clearly before she fainted on top of Ji Hoo. The door to the garden was opened so the room was dead cold. But seeing how the dream had shaken her friend, Jandi decided not to say of her suspicion for now, especially that Jae Kyung still didn't remember who she had wanted to help. Jandi was afraid of dropping any information that might create counter productive effect.

"Try not to think of it too much…"

"How can I not?! Ever since I woke up, things are not the same. People are tiptoeing around me. Everyone seems to hide things from me, even my own mother. She lied to me about Ji Hoo. You and the others too. Why?" This time she was not holding her tears back, they rolled down her cheeks freely.

"I'm sorry, so sorry… we didn't even know that you were in an accident and hospitalized here… we only found out about you the night you woke up. Please believe me that we don't really know what has been happening as well, Jae Kyung…"

"How can you not know? How can people just not tell me the truth when every night I have dreams… this frustrates me! Why did he visit me daily but pretended that I'm not even around now? I don't even know what's real and what's not anymore, Jandi… they said comatose people can hear what was said to them. But me? I don't know if what I remember was just me dreaming or really took place!"

It was horrible! Last week I even impulsively sniffed at Ji Hoo because I thought he smelled so familiar. I know his smell, it was so familiar, but how? He must have thought I'm crazy!" She sobbed painfully.

Now Jandi knew why Ji Hoo was sniffing his own coat, she smiled inwardly. She felt so bad for not telling her that Ji Hoo didn't think her crazy at all and it seemed what she did really rattle his heart. Ji Hoo was just as confused as Jae Kyung. She let her rant out her emotion knowing full well that the source of her anger was her confusion.

Why did Ji Hoo visit her so much? She didn't know. Why did he now avoiding her like plague? She also didn't know.

"I need pancake with strawberry." Jae Kyung wiped her tears roughly and pouted. Jandi blinked and looked at her strangely.

"What? Pancakes with strawberry can…

cure all heartache." They finished together. Now it's Jae Kyung's turn to look at her strangely. "How do you know?"

"No. How do YOU know?" Jandi asked.

"I… I… I don't know. I just know. Someone told me. Why? Does it matter how I know it?"

"Yes it matters… because the person who taught me that pancakes with strawberry can cure all heartache was Yoon Ji Hoo." Jandi calmly explained.

Jae Kyung looked at her disbelievingly. "See? I told you! This is crazy. All of this is crazy! Do you know that I now know Paganini and Vivaldi?"

"Tell me, Jae Kyung… do you like Ji Hoo Sunbae?"

Dumbfounded, she stammered, "I… I don't know. I don't think so. I mean, I don't even know the guy. Although I feel like I know him… Why do you ask?"

"Because you seem to care so much the fact that he used to visit and now don't…"

Jae Kyung was totally silent, she pondered on what Jandi said and found it to be true. Why did it matter so much to her? Before the accident they were not even friends, mere acquaintance. After the cancelled wedding between Junpyo and herself, they never saw each other again until after she woke up from the accident. She remembered her confusion when Ji Hoo had looked at her with eyes so gentle and warm the first day she woke up. But after that moment, he never showed up anything different.

"My head is now like a broken puzzle, Jandi. I feel the need to put everything into place. There are too many missing pieces and too many new pieces that don't seem to fit anywhere. When a guy visit daily when I was not even responding to the world, that is one missing big piece and I simply have to know. And I somehow have a hunch that my dreams are all connected to him… from the way the people in the hospital are keeping things, there is something going on that I am not allowed to know. All the things that I somehow now know seem to connect to him…

And what I really cannot stand is…" She looked away and blushed slighty.

"is…?"

Jae Kyung sighed and looked up into the sky that had now stopped raining. The sun began to appear behind the dark clouds.

"I cannot stand the emptiness that comes each morning. Ever since I woke up, I felt like there is something missing. My life is no longer content. This is weird! I'm weird! How can I miss something when there is nothing missing in my life?"

"I have no answer to that question… but if you hang on there might be an answer at the end of the road…" Jandi patted her best friend's hand gently.

Jandi felt so bad for not revealing what she knew. But things like love or even the beginning of it could only work when revealed and discovered by the people who have the feeling. Especially that this involved Yoon Ji Hoo and Ha Jae Kyung. She was not willing to be careless and ended up ruining instead of helping.

So she simply listened to her friend and later on accompanied her to shop 'till dropped without any complaint. If shopping eased her friend's mind then she would accompany her, all week if she must.