GERARD

July...July was the month in which 'Elena had shot herself...it was 8 months later now. It was February. 8 months of doctors telling me to pull the plug. 8 months of getting drunk because I could. 8 months of walking around shallowly because I had no idea what had happened to my life; I couldn't comprehend it. I'm not going to say 'Elena was the best kid, but she was by far the sweetest, prettiest and creative... I loved 'Elena...I still do. This was 8 months of not caring any more. She missed her 17th birthday, no one mentioned it when it came to the day. Mikey had been a great brother, like always, but after eight months I couldn't even expect him to be constantly with me like he used to be. Frank and Jamia broke up, mutual decision, around 2 months ago. It's not that Jamia found out about him and 'Elena...they just broke up. I must say, I never saw that coming. Mikey let Frank stay at his and Alicias place whilst he was finding a place. Mikey was still enraged by Frank, but I think he's started to forgive him now. I think they're slowly, becoming friends again. Had I forgiven Frank? I think I had. Loosing 'Elena to the grasp of the coma had made me bitter at first, but I slowly realised that I had to be a father and a husband to the rest of my family. So once again, I found myself getting of alcohol, wiping my eyes and telling myself to get a grip...get a goddamn grip. We haven't been on tour...that was one of the few things that changed...I couldn't bear to leave 'Elena... People visited a lot at first. A lot. Eventually people stopped coming so much though...I came regularly, the only other person who came as regularly as me was Frank.

Frank was here today. Being usual Frank? No...not really. He just sat there and stared at her...his eyes were so lost; they actually reminded me of 'Elenas. Why was Frank here though? Everyone else had went back to their old lives in some manor...yet Frank was still here. Even a guy who broke up with his wife and had no real home has better things to be doing. So I waited outside...he didn't notice me. I watched outside the window going into her now private room. I had planned to confront him, I had planned to ask him why he was still here, but I just didn't know how. I walked into the room, me hands clenched. I sat on the chair opposite Frank. My eyes were on 'Elena. She looked like she was asleep...asleep...I only wish. I felt myself cough trying to clear my voice...

"Frank..."

"Yes Gee..." Frank said..his voice completely undemonstrative, bleak, indifferent...just...bland.

"Do you love my daughter?" I said still looking at 'Elena.

"Yeah...we all do..." He said. I still didn't look at him.

"Frankie...You know what I'm asking isn't the same..." I said in a whisperer. I could hear him get up, I didn't look at him though. Only until he got to the door did he say something that made me look at him.

"I don't know..." He opened the door and slammed out of it. My mouth dropped open...I was completely and utterly shocked, amazed and what ever emotion you couldn't think of that... I jumped up and followed him out into the hall. He was half way down it.

"What the hell does that mean?" I shouted. This time he didn't look at me. I just heard a very quiet...

"Squash it!" I turned back and went into 'Elenas room...Squash it? FUCKING SQUASH IT? That's what he gives me? Shitty ass motherfucker...

FRANK

I ran outside the hospital...People stared at me...I didn't care though. I leaned against the wall and shrank to the ground. Bitter tears of disbelief rolled out of my eyes...Squash it? That's what I fucking gave him? SQUASH IT? I pulled out my IPod and turned on the first song I could find before sticking my ear phone into my ears and drowning out my crying with music.

Pencey Prep- Trying To Escape The Inevitable... flashed across the screen. Ironic, huh? You probable think I'm a stupid ass too... 'Elena always liked this song...

I have this reoccurring dream
You make it hard for me to breathe
I gave you everything I could
I gave up everything I owned
And when you smile it's not for me
You offer little sympathy
Your grasp so far exceeds your reach
I wake up
This is not a dream

I almost can't believe
You're the same person who can
Straight-faced with a smile
Tell me that you love me

Crawl, but I don't get too far
I know I should run
But I just keep running back
I know I should run
I know I should...[x2]

I have this reoccurring dream
Where you admit that you're not happy
I know that you will never leave
You're here just to torment me

I almost can't believe
You're the same person that can
Straight-faced with a smile

I know I should run
I know I should run
I know I should...[x2]

Tell me you love me

I have a new dream
And everything is perfect
The sky is pink, yellow, green, blue and orange
And all the past has been forgotten
And we fell in love
And we fell in love
And we fell in love...
And I fell into your trap!

I almost can't believe
You're the same person who can
Straight-faced with a smile

I know I should run
I know I should run
I know I should...[x4]

I don't know how you don't choke
On every lie you've ever told to me
You kept me sick
You took it all
You kept me complacent
But not for long