James sprinted off and down the pier, Logan watching him for a moment before walking quickly after. There was a part of him that worried James might talk himself out of this, for whatever reason decide it wasn't good for his image or that it was a mistake, and that could've easily happened in the fifteen minutes it took them to walk back to the car. He'd given James the keys knowing that James wouldn't leave him stranded, that his conscience would keep him from doing that, and even if James did talk himself out of a night with Logan, it would be too late when they met up again; Logan would have already booked the room and James would feel guilty about that. It wasn't the most upfront way to secure James for the evening, but Logan had suffered too many agonizingly lonely nights to beat himself up over it.

During the trek to the hotel, Logan texted Andrew not to expect him home until morning, figuring he would assume Logan was staying at his father's and allowing that assumption to stand. He imagined he and James were still on road trip rules and that no one could know of their hook-up (and oh, how he hated to think of it in that vein but if the shoe fit...), feeling guilty that it would be one more secret hidden from Kendall. He didn't regret the decision to do it, though, a selfish part of him thinking that if the rest of the world could have James Diamond for a night, he also deserved that much after what they'd lived through together. Once again he wondered if James had ever opened up to another lover as he had Logan, but quickly dismissed that idea-James had left behind that life and had no reason to bring it into his new world.

When asked by the hotel's clerk if he had a reservation, Logan shook his head. Momentary panic took hold; if they had to go somewhere else, that would give James too much time to back out. He had to know by now that Logan was hopelessly in love, and James wanted nothing that might tie him down or hold him back. The desk clerk informed him it wasn't a problem, though, Logan's tension draining away; this was going to happen.

He gave his name and information, passing over his license when requested, and was about to hold out his debit card when a long arm shot forward from behind to offer one. "I got this one, Logan."

"James, you paid me back for the last one. At least go halves with me."

"Nope. This one's on me."

A soft peck was pressed to the back of Logan's head while the card was being processed. Satisfied that James wasn't going anywhere, Logan relaxed back against him.

"Thank you, Mr. Mitchell. Here are your room keys and you're on the tenth floor."

Feeling a strong sense of déjà vu, Logan allowed James to lead him to the elevator. The doors opened on an empty car and Logan smirked. "Don't even think about it. Or did you already cross that off your list?"

"Not yet," James laughed. "I decided that when I'm rich enough to buy a big house, I'll have an elevator put in and make proper use of it. That way I can't be arrested."

"Clever." The doors closed and Logan was immediately turned to face a wall and pressed up against it.

"Remember this?"

"Never forgot," Logan assured James, pulling his mouth down to kiss him hard while rubbing back against him.

"Mmm, this was so much easier the second time around," James joked.

Bristling, Logan shoved James away. "Don't make fun of me. You created this."

Surprised by the angry tone, James waited until they were walking toward their room to speak. "Logan, I wasn't complaining or mocking you. I'm glad you trust me enough to be free and not hold back. You've come so far."

Logan slid a key card into the lock, flipping on a light switch as he entered the room. His eyes widened at the sight that greeted him. "Wow, this sure is a lot nicer than the other two rooms we stayed in."

"Yes, but they had their own kind of charm, don't you think?"

James was right; as elegant as the decor was in this room boasting two large beds, the small space they'd occupied in South Dakota had been cozy-or maybe that was only because time had sweetened it in Logan's memory. He watched James shrug out of the blazer and toss it on one of the beds. "I assume you have what we need in there, Mr. Boy Scout?"

"Always," James grinned. "And just so you know, because I'm sure you're already beginning to second-guess this, I did get tested right after we moved here."

"You did?" Logan asked. "You mean you actually took my advice on something?"

"Yup. Turns out I'm totally clean of any kind of virus or disease."

"Or at least that you were then. How many partners have you had since the first week?"

"More than I'm comfortable discussing."

"Too many to count on your fingers this time, hmm?"

"More like searching for something in particular and having no luck."

Sitting down on the nearest bed, Logan stared up to ask, "What is it James Diamond is looking for? That loyal, needy, sex-crazed partner that you'll know from a kiss alone?"

"Now you're the one making fun," James said softly with a frown.

"Never." Reaching up with both arms, he pulled James to stand between his legs. "She...or he...is out there. And she or he will be a lucky bitch."

As he'd hoped, a smile stretched James' mouth wide. "Someday, I guess." When Logan leaned forward to kiss the obvious bulge, James shuddered and let his head fall back. "Don't tease me. I'd kill to have your mouth down there."

"I do love to learn," Logan reminded him, carefully lowering the zipper. "And it would be awkward to be on my knees with another man and not know what I'm doing."

"Logan, Jesus. Are you sure you haven't been with anyone else?"

"Promise," Logan whispered. "Just spent a lot of nights thinking about this." He unfastened James' belt before dragging the pants and boxers down, only a tiny bit of apprehension running through him at the idea of what he was about to do.

When hot breath ghosted over James, his own breath caught and his hands gripped Logan's shoulders hard to hold him off. "Logan, wait, let me...bathroom."

"Now?"

"No, I mean...fuck, I can hardly think." James stepped back and swallowed, grasping for words. "Let me...clean up a little. I don't want this to gross you out. It can be kind of..."

"What?"

"I just want it to be a good experience for you. I'll be back."

Logan watched James toe off his shoes before stepping out of the pants and boxers. He couldn't keep his hands off the golden skin, leaning forward to run them up James' thighs as the elegant shirt was quickly unbuttoned. James shivered at the touch, and Logan was pleased that he could still affect James so deeply.

The bruises had faded away completely. He couldn't resist standing to press a kiss to the spot where the biggest had been, right over James' heart.

"Be right back," James murmured, bending down to kiss Logan before turning toward the bathroom. He got all the way into it and was wetting a washcloth when Logan slipped in behind him to place little nibbling bites along his spine. "Fuck!" James whined. "How are you even the same person?"

Logan was tempted to reply with the same question, but didn't want to stop long enough to let James push him away again. His lips ran from shoulder to hip, sucking gently all the way down, and by the time he arrived back at his starting point, James was gripping the sink so hard his knuckles were white. He licked his lips and met Logan's eyes in the mirror. "If you want this to last, you should slow down your attack."

"Do you need to be home in the next few hours?"

"No."

"Then we can just start over after this."

James groaned and let his head fall back onto Logan's shoulder, not complaining when Logan ran the palms of his hands up James' chest. Logan was mesmerized by the sight of his pale hands moving over bronzed skin, pulling James back slightly to wrap one around his length. Watching James thrust forward into the grip was hypnotic, Logan now hard and throbbing as well. "I get it now," he panted.

"What?" James managed, opening his eyes to witness Logan watching the movements. "The mirror thing?"

"Yes. No wonder you get off on this, the way you move is..."

"Hold on." James pushed Logan back gently and then spun to face him, working to get rid of his shirt before doing the same to the pants. Logan allowed it, kicking his shoes and socks aside to join the pile of clothes now near their feet. His mouth was caught for a lazy kiss, James drawing that out for a minute and then switching their positions so that it was Logan facing the mirror with James behind him.

"Oh, no. I can't watch myself, that's the fastest way to kill my mood."

"Just watch me, then."

Doing everything he could to avoid looking at himself, Logan stared into the mirror to focus on James' face and hands, which were trailing over pale skin to leave Logan trembling. James' mouth bent to his neck while a hand slipped down to grip him, Logan unable to close his own mouth because he couldn't catch his breath. Still, he forced himself to watch James, the hair his hands knew so well tickling his jaw. James was right, the visual was intoxicating, though of course it was himself James tended to watch.

Or maybe not, because then James lifted his gaze to the mirror and met Logan's eyes while his lips moved over Logan's neck, Logan squirming as every sense except taste came alive—the hand stroking him, the sight of James nibbling at his neck, the scent of that sweet shampoo James still used, and the sound of lips suctioning occasionally to his skin. "Let me taste you," Logan begged, craning his neck around for a kiss that was more about taste than anything else.

"Logan, I can't hold on much longer if you keep kissing me like that."

"No, not done with you yet. Still want to..." He couldn't bring himself to say it, hoping James would read him in this as he did everything else.

"Give me the washcloth."

Logan reached out for it, picking it up and then catching sight of the shower behind them. He hesitated. "I imagine you've already crossed shower sex off your list."

"Shower...uh...no. That's...not yet."

"Quickest way to get you clean for me." Turning around, Logan backed James toward the shower, in love with the way James could hardly breathe due to his intense arousal. They carefully stepped into it, Logan closing the glass door behind them while reaching around James to spin the knobs. They were drenched with cold water just long enough for it awaken their bodies completely before it warmed, Logan making it hot the way it had been the one night he'd satisfied himself in the shower. James' mouth found his under the spray, Logan not even minding the water dripping down over his face as he returned the eager kiss and twined both hands with James' to lift them and pin him to the wall.

"Hot," James whispered. "So hot."

"Too hot?" Logan started to reach for the knob, but James quickly reclaimed his hand and shook his head.

"No. Me. I can't cool down."

"Come here." Logan kissed James more slowly, sinking into that place where rational thought was impossible to find.

"Not really helping me cool down," James said softly, and Logan smiled.

"Sorry. Just trying to help."

"No, you're not. You're evil."

"Mmm, who made me this way?" Logan tilted his chin up for a brief kiss before reaching for the brand new bar of soap that had been placed in the shower. "So I just clean you up?"

"Jesus, let me do it. You'll have me coming in two seconds flat."

"I thought that was the goal," Logan teased.

"A monster. I've created a monster. Is this what happens when you go months without sex, it all builds up to turn you into an evil little minx?"

"Are you complaining?"

"No."

"Are you mocking me?"

"Not at all."

"Then yes. That's exactly what happens."

"Remind me not to visit you for the next year," James joked, and the probability of that happening was so high that it momentarily broke through the lust to cut into Logan's heart. Unwilling to let that derail tonight, Logan shoved it out of his mind and sank slowly to his knees.

"Oh my fucking god," James breathed, having to brace himself with one hand against the wall as he stared down at Logan.

The cleaning was a quick and easy task, Logan familiar enough with that process, though by the time he was finished James was panting again. He passed the soap up to James, who set it in its molded cradle and tilted Logan's face up by the chin. "You sure you want to do this?"

"Positive. I need to know what it feels like."

"I'll pull out before I come."

Logan nodded, appreciating the gesture and back to being nervous. What if he did it wrong? What if he wasn't capable of satisfying James?

"It'll be fine," James promised, and of course he knew what Logan was thinking. Didn't he always? "Just start slow. Take your time and do whatever feels right to you."

Swallowing against the nerves, Logan ran his gaze up the expanse of James' chest, watching hot water drip off him and reminded of that one drop in the shaft of moonlight that had first mesmerized him enough to kiss James. He had come so far.

James' thumb ran over his lips, Logan closing his eyes and opening his mouth just enough for the finger to slip in, and that was all it took. He wanted this.

There was a slight taste of soap, but otherwise it was pleasant enough as Logan used his tongue to ease himself into the act, enjoying the feel of something warm and alive at his lips. James' hisses and groans encouraged him, and when James needed something to hold onto and reached for his hair, Logan was surprised to find the grip gentle and not demanding. Eventually he felt brave enough to open his mouth, sliding it slowly down the length and venturing a sucking pressure before James shoved him away suddenly and placed a hand on his shoulder to hold him at bay.

His chest rising and falling rapidly, James closed his eyes for a few seconds to compose himself. "Nothing's wrong, don't start thinking you failed at this. I almost lost it and didn't want to come like that."

"Oh." Relieved because he'd been afraid he messed up, Logan instead kissed James' inner thighs while waiting for him to give the signal it was safe to proceed. The gentle hand returned to his hair, James arching Logan back enough to lean down and kiss him slowly.

"You doing okay? If you want to stop-"

"No." Logan shook his head. "Please, James. Let me finish this. Then take me to bed and we'll start again."

That earned Logan another long kiss before James straightened, guiding Logan's mouth back into place. He grew a little bolder with the sucking, using James' hisses and the pressure of James' fingers in his hair as a gauge to know when he was doing something James particularly enjoyed. When James eased Logan into a rhythm, Logan took the hint and ran with it, and soon enough he was being shoved away again but this time James saw it through. Logan's gaze was glued to James' face as he came, still amazed that something he did could bring James to such intense pleasure.

The moment his bliss faded away, James dragged Logan off his knees for a deep, searing kiss, shoving him up against the wall to suffocate him with it. Logan was taken by surprise by the aggression behind the act, responding to it immediately and kissing James back just as hard until they were both panting and Logan was desperate. He cried out in desolation when James' lips were suddenly gone, then cried out again in ecstasy when they enveloped him elsewhere. Buried deep in James' mouth, which was unrelenting in its greed, Logan practically screamed from the delicious pressure, feeling his orgasm rapidly approaching and attempting to push James away. James instead trapped his wrists and held them at bay so that when Logan came with a loud yell, it was directly into the pressure that swallowed him down eagerly.

Self-awareness returned slowly, Logan sinking halfway down the wall before James caught him and held him up under the spray. After dousing them both in the water, he shut it off and stepped out to grab towels for Logan and himself. Once Logan had done a half-hearted job of drying off, James lifted him off his feet to carry him to the bed and lay him down gently, kissing him softly after joining him.

"You gonna live?" James teased.

"No. Can't move. Can't even open my eyes."

"That's okay, you should sleep. I rocked your world yet again."

"No, not sleeping. You still owe me a fuck."

"Damn, Logan!" James laughed. "Seriously, what's gotten into you?"

I missed you. He couldn't say that, though...could he? Opening his eyes slowly, Logan pierced James with a steady gaze. "I missed you."

James looked away, just as Logan had known he would. "I think what you missed is sex. You can get that anywhere if you open yourself to it."

Having expected nothing more, Logan closed his eyes again.

"I mean it, Logan. I know you're busy with your education and all, but college is full of horny young men, and women too, if that's what you want. You don't have to deny yourself all the time. Look what happens when you do."

Right, because this is all about sex. It has nothing to do with the fact that I fell in love with you.

"I know you're not asleep, quit pretending you can't hear me."

"I can hear you just fine," Logan agreed. "At least stay the night with me?"

"Wild horses couldn't drag me away. Hmm, where do you suppose that one came from?"

"I would assume actual wild horses dragging someone away. I think that one can safely be taken literally. Why are you so obsessed with figuring out where these phrases come from?"

"I don't know. Reminds me of a time I was really happy."

Finally opening his eyes, Logan studied James carefully. "Are you not now?"

"I am," James nodded. "Honestly, I really am."

Logan saw that he was sincere and relaxed again. "You miss home sometimes, though, don't you?"

"Home? No. Absolutely not."

"You sure?"

"Positive. I miss Shelly, and I miss the places I would escape to when I couldn't handle home. Otherwise...no."

As James was beginning to tense up, Logan managed to sit up and stand.

"Where are you going?"

"Relax, I'm coming right back." After flipping off the lights, Logan returned to the bed, sliding beneath the covers this time and right into James' open arms. Only when he was cuddled up in his favorite place did Logan speak again. "Did you erase the playlist?"

There was a hesitation as James struggled with his answer. "I tried. I couldn't do it."

Logan nodded, sliding an arm around James' waist and snuggling in tighter. "I know you don't want to love her, but it's okay to."

"It's just...I wish she had completely stayed a bitch all the time. Then I could've hated her the way I hate my dad."

Intrigued, as this was the first Logan had heard of his mother being anything besides a bitch, Logan said, "Explain that."

"Well, it's like...most of the time she was a bitch or never there."

"Right."

"But every once in a while, when I least expected it, the old Mom would be there. Not too often, of course. But just when I'd think she was gone for good, she'd do something to surprise me."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, little things. Once she packed me a lunch and put a note in it, like she used to do when I was a kid. Another time she unexpectedly stayed home from work on a Saturday and we all went to the mountains. Just things like that. The best was when she showed up one day to take me out of school early and we spent the day together, just the two of us. She took me to lunch and then we went shopping, and after dinner we went to a movie. I think that was the last really good day I had with my mom, and when I think of things like that...it's hard to move on. Because I know she's in there somewhere." Voice choking up, James continued, "I look at her now and I can't see the woman she used to be. She's all made up and dressed in business clothes and sophisticated, and there's no hint of the mom who used to stay in her pajamas and watch T.V. with me until noon. No sign of the mom who made me animal-shaped pancakes. But then something will slip out, something that shows me she's still alive in there somewhere, and...do you know what it's like to love a memory? Something that you know you can never get back because it's moved on and you can't?"

James was no longer the only one with tears in his eyes. Logan blinked his away, glad he'd plunged them into darkness. "Yeah," he managed, not trusting himself to say much else. "It's hard."

"It's torture. I fight every day to not call her, to not give her my new number. But I'm better off without her, all she does is tear me down now. I need someone who supports me and encourages me. What happened to the mom who used to tell me I could be anything I wanted?"

James couldn't hide the sniffles anymore, Logan reaching up to brush away his tears.

"See, this is why I hate being around you sometimes. You get me crying."

"Weren't you the one who told me it's okay to cry? That expressing emotion is better than bottling it all up? And don't tell me you get it out through your acting, because something tells me Tony Romano doesn't have crying scenes."

James chuckled, cuddling Logan closer for a moment.

"And this is why you also love being around me sometimes," Logan reminded him softly. "Because I make you laugh."

"You also give great head," James teased.

"Oh, do I?" Pleased, Logan grinned smugly. "You're not just saying that?"

"I don't lie about that. Actually, I don't lie about anything."

"Not even when people ask about your upbringing and your past?"

"I avoid it. I'm a master."

"That you are," Logan agreed. "But I'm glad you talk about it with me."

James pressed a kiss to Logan's forehead. "I'm glad I talk to you, too. It's scary, but..."

"You feel better when it's done."

"Yeah. And you've never broken my trust. Unless...does your dad know about us? The way he said goodbye to me makes me wonder."

"He has his suspicions," Logan admitted. "He said he could tell by the way I was watching you during dinner."

"You were watching me?" James echoed, shifting to try to stare into Logan's eyes in the dark and moderately successful. "Why?"

"I told you. I miss you. What I want to know is why you were watching me."

"Logan, my back was to you. How could I have been watching you?"

"So you weren't watching me with Andrew when you went to the bathroom?"

"You were in my path on the way back, it would've been impossible to not see you."

I avoid it. I'm a master.

Giving up on that line of thought because James wasn't going to crack, Logan switched tactics. "Well, my dad said he could tell we have a past together. And before you get all pissy and say I broke your trust, remember that you almost took me down on a pier in front of at least twenty witnesses. You obviously aren't that worried about keeping us a secret."

"They were strangers."

"Until one of them one day sees Tony Romano on T.V. and thinks, 'Hey, that looks like the hot guy who was making out with another guy at the beach.' I don't really care, but you need to be more careful in public if you're that concerned with your image."

"Shit. I didn't even think about it. That's the problem with you, I don't think."

"Welcome to the club. The second you kiss me, I can barely form a thought. Sex is a thousand times worse."

James considered that. "Is that why you crave it so bad? Because it's like...a break from your mind?"

Logan shrugged, uncomfortable admitting the depth of his need. "That's probably part of it. But your body can become conditioned to it, too, so that you crave it incessantly."

"Yeah, if you get enough of it. You've only done it once, right?"

"Technically it was twice. But just that one night, yes."

"Oh no, watch out or you might become a sex addict," James smirked.

"From two rolls in the hay? I think I'll be okay, James."

"If you count oral sex, it's three now. And what do you think that means? Rolls in the hay?"

"Actual hay, James. Sex in a stable."

"Hmm. That's something to think about. Ever ridden a horse?"

"I haven't, actually," Logan replied, trying to keep up with James' ever-changing train of thought. "You?"

"I rode you, does that count? Oh wait, you're a bull."

"Yes I am, Mr. Vain-and-Self-Centered. Remind me what that means?"

"That you're stubborn."

"No longer deny that," Logan smirked, moving away from James to roll onto his back. After kicking the covers off, he dragged James closer until James was straddling his hips, the new position enough to have his body awake and begging.

"Also persistent," James added, staring down with one eyebrow cocked.

"Weren't there good qualities, too?"

"Well, persistence doesn't have to be a bad thing," James pointed out, bending forward to nip at Logan's neck. "But there was also slow and steady. Seeing a task through until the end."

"Mmm, that's what I was hoping you'd remember." Logan hissed as James sucked harder at his neck. "Damn you, it's too hot to wear high-collared shirts for a week. Must you?"

"You love it," James murmured.

"Andrew thought I was weird, wearing clothes like that to bed."

"Let him think that." James bucked forward, the friction teasing Logan so that he gasped. "Always so ready."

"Not that first time."

"No, you were ready then, too. Long overdue."

"I'm overdue now. Quit teasing me."

James nibbled at Logan's bottom lip. "Have I mentioned how much I love this side of you?"

"The sexually desperate side of me? No, please tell me more about how pathetic I am."

"Hush, you're not pathetic." James accompanied his words with a gentle kiss. "And I love how you get cranky when I make you wait. Maybe I'll just tease you all night."

"Oh yeah? Maybe I'll just do some of this, then." Showing no mercy, Logan dragged his nails from James' shoulder to his lower back, smug when James not only arched but cried out as he shuddered violently.

"Logan, fuck!" he gasped. "Okay, you made your point! Hang on, let me get the...where did I drop my coat?"

"I always win," Logan grinned. "Other bed."

"Right. Just hold on, don't go taking care of yourself, Mr. Sex-Crazed Maniac."

When James moved off him, Logan scooted to the middle of the bed and made himself comfortable. He snatched the condom from James as soon as it was within reach, awkwardly fumbling the attempt to get it in place before James helped him.

"It gets easier with practice," James promised. "I can do it one-handed."

"Aren't you special? Less talk, more action. I've waited long enough for this."

"We've only been here about an hour, relax."

Logan was referring to more than just the room, though, and thought James probably knew that. He was past caring, the desperation made more intense by the second as he craved the peace only James could give him.

"I'd offer to show you how to prepare me, but I think you might bite my head off if I delay any longer."

It was a smart idea, actually, Logan wanting to learn every aspect of the act, but at the moment he didn't have the patience to take things slow. "Later," he whispered. "For now, just..."

"Shh, I got you," James soothed, moving into position after stretching and lubricating himself. He guided Logan in, sitting down slowly but as far he was able, both of them letting out a relieved and content sigh when Logan was sheathed.

James leaned down to kiss Logan. "Better?"

"So much."

They kissed again, then one more time, and after that it became the main act as they continued for long minutes with James still in place. The combination of the two was a powerful shield against Logan's mind, especially when James began to move up and down in a slow rhythm.

"Please make this last," Logan whispered, unconcerned with how desperate he might sound because he was.

"Slow and steady," James murmured against his mouth before they were kissing again, movements remaining just that.

What seemed ages later but upon looking back would feel like a mere minute, Logan increased the pace to send James into a round of groans. Remembering that James also enjoyed sex in another manner, Logan pulled out to turn him over and then onto hands and knees like a cat that arched back when Logan buried himself again. "Logan, please," James whined, and Logan held tight to James' sides to rock hard into him repeatedly as James proceeded to lose his mind while breathing Logan's name aloud over and over. It was the sound of that as much as the sensations that rushed Logan toward his peak while James clawed at the mattress in ecstasy, going rigid and crying out as he came seconds before Logan.

"Oh my fucking god," James panted, falling to the bed and nearly suffocating himself in the pillow before he turned his head to the side. "Are you sure you haven't been with anyone else?"

"Swear," Logan replied as he sat up onto his knees and used his arm to wipe sweat off his forehead. "Wow."

"That's an understatement. I don't think I can move."

Logan smiled, glad it wasn't him this time. "Then don't. Stay right there." Hopping up from the bed with the energy of a five-year-old, Logan removed the condom and tossed it in a can before crossing to the bathroom to wet another washcloth with warm water. "Roll over," he commanded when he returned.

"No," James answered into the pillow. "I'm dead."

"You'd better not be, I expect more of that later." Not-so-gently rolling James onto his back, Logan used the cloth to clean James and then himself, wiping up the mess on the sheets last. "Want to move to the other bed so we can sleep?"

"Not moving."

"Baby," Logan teased, softening the insult with kisses up James' spine that left him humming. He jumped up again to dispose of the washcloth, then flipped off the bathroom light and climbed into bed next to James, who not surprisingly shifted onto his back in order to cuddle Logan close. Logan went willingly and then pulled the covers up over them. "Need to be anywhere or can we do this without setting an alarm?"

"I do have a breakfast meeting, and I'll need time to go home and get ready for that. Set your alarm for six?"

"Okay." Logan started to move away when James asked, "What about you? No classes?"

"Tomorrow's Saturday."

"Oh. Right. When you're out of school, weekends mean nothing. Hurry back, I'm cold."

"So needy," Logan grinned, but of course he loved that James already missed him. "Fine, I'll just use your phone so I don't have to get out of bed." He rolled onto his side and felt around for James' pants, dragging them closer to dig into a pocket. After pulling out the phone, he clicked a button to make the screen come alive, noticing two things simultaneously: one, that James had turned on airplane mode, ensuring he wouldn't be disturbed; and two, that the lock screen was set to the photo James had taken of them during his birthday breakfast, the selfie in which he'd forced Logan into a smile. Shocked, he stared at it and remembered that moment in time, before he'd discovered how incredible sex could be and how much he would miss James in his life.

"Oh, I have to put in my code. It's-"

"0-8-1-8."

"What the...shit, Logan, how do you know that?"

"I guessed. I figured it would be your birthday."

Throwing an arm over his eyes, James sighed. "It scares me sometimes, how well you know me."

"Yeah, that's mutual." He set the alarm and laid the phone on a nearby nightstand, expecting it when James used one arm to pull him back into place. After a few kisses to James' shoulder, Logan said, "Thank you for tonight."

"You're thanking me for sex?"

"I have manners."

"You know, I can't say that anyone else has ever thanked me for it. It's nice to be appreciated for my talents."

Rolling his eyes, Logan replied, "Besides your acting, you mean."

"Well, yes, but that's a given. I'm good."

"And still full of yourself, Mr. I'm-Better-Than-Everyone-Else."

"I never said that, and you're still horrible at nicknames."

"Oh, well. I guess some things never change."

Tilting Logan's chin up for a soft kiss, James smiled. "Not always a bad thing."

"No. It really isn't."

Logan was tempted to comment on the lock screen, wondering if it meant the old James was closer to the surface than he'd imagined, but he was loathe to ruin the perfect moment between them. Instead he closed his eyes and enjoyed the warmth of his favorite place in the world, almost asleep when a kiss to the top of his head curved his lips into a smile.

An hour later Logan woke James up for round two; James gave no complaints, and the third time it was he who kissed Logan awake before climbing on him to enjoy slow, leisurely lovemaking. His kisses were sweet, Logan as always amazed that James could be so gentle, and when it was done he fell back into an exhausted sleep that was peaceful and broken only when a hand caressed his cheek lightly. Another soft kiss made him sigh in his sleep, and when he woke around five in hopes of staying awake for the last hour of cuddling, the other side of the bed was cold.

This time Logan didn't bother to check the other bed or glance toward the bathroom. He knew before his eyes noted the missing clothes that James was gone, and when he reached up to turn on a lamp, the phone was of course gone as well.

A note would have been nice this time, something he could take with him as proof this hadn't all been a dream, but of course there was nothing.

Desolation spreading through him, Logan laid back down and searched for warmth under blankets he would no longer have to share, resigning himself to months (or perhaps even a lifetime) of lonely nights.