A/N: Pics & videos are on the blog.
Working with Dr. Brandon and Bella today was exhausting.
We needed to decide the next area to clean out and I had wanted to work on my bedroom and bathroom since I thought it would be nice to no longer have to worry about things toppling over and crushing me in my sleep.
Dr. Brandon was fine with my suggestion, wanting me to work in the area I was most comfortable, but Bella had a different idea.
She said it would be wisest to work on all of the walkways, staircases and hallways before tackling any other rooms because until the hallways were cleared, it would be too hard to get stuff out of the rooms. Her idea made sense, especially since I was realizing how much easier it was going up the main staircase now that we had cleared it out, so I agreed.
We started with the first floor hallways, and it made me realize just how large my house is…and the more that was cleared out…just how empty it and my life was too. That realization sent a myriad of thoughts swirling through my head…things I knew I would need to talk to Dr. Brandon about, but I tucked them away for our one on one next week, too ashamed to talk about them in front of Bella.
Things were going well, we managed to get rid of lots of things in the first floor hallways, including all of my Booty Slides and Blaster Brushes, although I did keep one Blaster Brush for future cleaning needs. It was when we got to the hallway near the garage that Dr. Brandon really made me open up a bit. The four feet of hallway in front of the garage door were filled floor to ceiling with Pocket Chairs. I lost count after 162 when I was trying to figure out how many I had exactly.
Dr. Brandon talked to me about why I had so many, what made me feel like I needed them. I explained how I had been having a really shitty day when I bought them, and how I hated having no one to go home to who would be able to comfort me or make me feel better. I had my computer on and bought lord only knows how many of those stupid chairs, but when the order arrived I had ended up with double what I ordered because I hadn't realized the website was doing a buy one get one free sale at the time. I didn't know what else to do with them, and I had still had space down this hallway at the time so I just stacked them all here.
We talked about my emotions associated with my need to buy things, and reviewed what I'm doing now when I feel like that. I even made a joke about never needing to worry about having a place to sit which earned me a playful glare from both Bella and Dr. Brandon. In the end though, I decided to keep a set of four of the chairs since I did sometimes go to sports games with Mom, Dad, and Emmett and we would tailgate when we'd go.
Bella was pleased with my decision, and told me she was proud that I was making progress and thinking rationally about the need for and use of the items I wanted to keep. Her smile made me anxious for our next one on one so I could attempt the pizza dinner non-date idea Mom had suggested.
As the afternoon wound down, and we finished what we set out to do for the day, Bella gave me my usual hug goodbye, and Dr. Brandon asked to speak to me for a moment before she left for the day as well.
"You're doing very well Edward," she told me. "I've seen a lot of progress with you these past few weeks, and if you keep up the hard work, I think you'll be just fine."
Her words made me happy, my biggest fear in all of this was getting the house completely cleaned out only to fall back into old habits and fill it up again.
"Now," she said. "I want to talk to you about our sessions. Like I said, you are doing very well. Your thought processes are much better than they were when we first started, and you are, like Bella said, starting to really think about why you are keeping things. Which is why I'm going to reduce our sessions to our once a week at my office, and I'll come here to your house once every other week to see your progress. You'll still work with Bella twice a week, but both days will be just you and her from now on. Are you okay with that Edward?"
Was she kidding me? Of course I was okay with that…it meant more time alone with Bella. I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.
"Um, yes," I replied. "I think that will work fine."
"Good," she answered with a smile. "And remember, any time you need me, you can call me. I'm always here for you Edward."
After that, she left for the day, and I left to drift off and ponder the possibilities that could come from having two days alone with Bella each week.
A/N: Ch 22 will post tomorrow.