She hated him. He left. He was the first man in her life to instill distrust in her. It hurt to think about him. She wanted to yell and throw things at his head. She was four when he left. Four! She was unable to defend herself from heartbreak. But, he just left. Packed up his things and left never looking back. It infuriated her. It crushed her.
Yet as she stood there looking up at the scans that Dr. Summers had just handed her, she couldn't help but feel devastated. Taking a deep breath, she nodded at the other doctor that he could go back to his duties. She let her hand fall and slipped the scans back into their envelope. Why did it have to be so hard?
With her head hung low, she walked down the hall unable to meet anyone's eyes. She just wanted to curl up in her husband's arms until all the demons of her past and present diminished. But she couldn't. Instead she made her way to Thatcher's room to deliver news that would be anything but easy for his new wife to hear.
She gave the door a short knock. It was going to be harder to say than she anticipated. Not only Susan sat in the room, but Molly and Lexi sat next to her. A wave of nausea hit when they all looked up at her hopefully. But she choked down the urge to run to the nearest bathroom and swallowed the lump in her throat.
"I'm sorry." She said quietly. Susan immediately bust into tears. Everyone knew no good news would fallow when a doctor said those two fateful words.
"Wh…What?" Susan sobbed.
"He had an aneurysm. It could have been there his whole life undetected, but…" She took a deep breath. "But, when he was in the accident, it burst… He's been bleeding into his brain without us knowing for the last few days."
"Then why now?" Lexi said as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Why didn't he have a seizure earlier?"
"We believe that the accident began the process. It started slowly leaking blood. But as time went on the more intense it became. Eventually it burst completely." Meredith tried to explain.
"What do we do? Surgery?" Molly cried.
"It has gone undetected too long. There's too much damage."
"You can't operate?" Susan sobbed.
"I'm so sorry. There's nothing more we can do."
"You're just going to let him die!" Lexi yelled. "He's your patient. He's your father!"
"You have to try. Meredith, you have to." Susan pleaded.
"We can't. There's too much damage."
"Is he going to wake up?" Susan asked her eyes pleading with her.
"No. I'm sorry."
"This is your fault. You, a freaking neurosurgeon, can't save your own father. You won't even try." Lexi yelled. "You should have found it earlier."
Tears lined Meredith eyes. "I'm sorry." She turned and walked out. She didn't stop walking. She didn't notice when Mark started following her out as she walked past the nurse station. She just kept walking until she felt the cold wind against her cheek and the freezing rain droplets soak into her scrub top. Tears started making their way down her cheeks as sobs started erupting out of her mouth. She didn't get far down the sidewalk before she collapsed onto the ground.
He didn't know why she was crying. Right then it didn't really matter. He needed to comfort his wife regardless of what was going on in their lives.
He walked up behind her falling to his knees beside her. Her sobs didn't waver as if she didn't notice him. Without hesitation, he scooped her into his arms. She tried to fight him, but he held her firmly. Her fist hit his chest as hard as she could, but he didn't seem effected.
"Meredith." He said in a desperate, concerned voice. Her hits stopped when she collapsed into his chest burying her head into his neck. Her body was shaking with sobs as he wrapped his arms around her.
"I can't… I just can't do it." She sobbed. "I'm so tired."
"Sh... Sh…" He tried to calm her running his hands over her soaked hair. "It'll be okay, I promise. It'll be okay."
"I can't do it." She kept crying. "I can't do it."
He didn't know what 'it' was, but now wasn't the time to question her. He just held her why she cried as he always did assuring her that it will all work out. Even though the last week or so had been filled with uncertainty. But that he was certain, everything would be okay. He would stop at nothing to see her smile, hear her giggle, and feel her body next to his every morning and every night.
"Come on, Mer." He whispered lifting her off the ground. He wasn't about to take her inside where, in the few days he had been there he had learned, gossip spread like a wildfire. Instead he carried her to his car and sat her down in the passenger seat. She was reluctant to pull her arms from around her neck, but she did and pulled her knees into her chest. The tears didn't falter even though it felt so good to be in his arms. She instantly missed it as she sat in the expensive car. Mark sent a text to Richard as he moved around the car telling him they wouldn't be back for the rest of the day before slipping in behind the wheel. He looked at his wife. She looked so broken, but something was different in the way she looked beyond that. He didn't think about it now. Instead, he just drove knowing exactly where she had been living without asking.