Chapter 21
Kane/J.J.
Then pulling her against him he waited while his breathing slowed.
As her breathing became normal she snuggled closer to him.
"I envy the woman who got to teach you so much." J.J. whispered, holding him tightly.
What woman? Kane thought.
She thinks I've done this before? I have to tell her. He realized.
J.J. felt him move around a little, then turn toward her slightly.
"You" J.J. heard him say softly.
What? He can't have been Virgin. J.J. thought.
Looking up toward him, she saw he was serious.
"How? You must have had girlfriends growing up, or Tori?" J.J. said, shocked at this revelation.
Unconsciously reaching up to touch his scars, Kane shook his head no.
"I'm honored." J.J. said, cupping his cheek. "Really."
"But if that was your first time. I think I'm in trouble." J.J. said, resting her head on his chest.
Smiling, he held her tighter as he laughed.
"I need a shower big guy." J.J. said, getting up reluctantly.
Bending over J.J. picked up one of the discarded towels and wrapped it around herself.
"I promise to save you some hot water." J.J. called, over her shoulder as she walked into the bathroom.
After showering, J.J. came out wrapped only in a towel.
Looking over she saw him lying splayed out on the bed wearing nothing but his boxers.
Nice she thought, admiring the view for a moment.
"All yours." She called out.
Hearing her, he lifted his head.
Hmm he thought, watching her briskly dry her hair.
Rolling out of bed, Kane walked tiredly toward the bathroom.
As he was going by, J.J. reached out and grabbed his ass.
Snapping his head around he looked at her, then he started laughing.
Stepping out of the bathroom, he saw J.J. curled up on the bed wearing one of his T-shirts. Climbing in behind her he pulled up the blanket. The he cuddled up against her. Wrapping one arm around her he held her close.
She did it again. She's already brought me more happiness than I ever hoped for. Then tonight she gave me more. She gave me herself. How can she say she's honored? Kane wondered, closing his eyes.
Waking slowly, J.J. felt Kane holding her close. Smiling when she felt his breath move her hair and warm her neck.
NO way am I moving without waking him. She thought.
Looking down, she saw that he'd managed to wrap both arms around her. His left hand held her hips back against him, while his right was curled up along her chest with his hand resting against her neck.
How in the hell did he sleep like that? His poor arm must be sound asleep with all my weight on it. J.J. thought, trying to figure out how to get free.
Maybe I can get him to move on his own? She thought hopefully.
Taking a deep breath J.J. blew into his right hand.
Almost, she thought when his hand moved slightly.
What is she doing? Kane wondered.
Taking another breath, she blew into his hand again.
Smiling, Kane took a breath and blew on the back of her neck and ear.
Guess he wasn't sleeping. J.J. thought, embarrassed that she'd been busted.
Picking up Kane's hand, she kissed the palm.
"I thought you were still asleep." J.J. said, holding his hand.
Kane didn't move.
"You do realize it's impossible for me to talk to you when I can't see you." J.J. said when he didn't move.
Don't want to talk. Kane thought wickedly.
Turning her head, he leaned forward and licked her earlobe.
"MMM guess talking is out huh." J.J. muttered, shifting her position back toward him.
Sitting down to breakfast, several hours later neither said much as they ate.
What happens now? Kane wondered, reaching out to touch her yet again.
What's with that look? You'd think I was just going to disappear. J.J. thought surprised that he kept reaching out to touch her throughout the meal.
"Kane do you think we could try to get a flight to LA today? You have that autograph session tomorrow night and I'd love to have the extra time there." J.J. said, as they gathered the dishes.
Sounds good Kane thought smiling.
"Great, I'll make the arrangements and get my stuff." J.J. said, giving him a quick kiss.
Then sliding on her glasses, she picked up his key and went to her room.
Kane
Gathering his things, it didn't take Kane long to pack. Then he walked through the rooms looking for forgotten belongings.
His gaze fell on the bed. Smiling he looked at the tangled sheets and displaced pillows. Memories of them together filled his mind.
I can't believe she actually wanted to touch me like that, to let me touch her, amazing. He thought.
Reaching down he picked up a pillow from the floor.
I can't forget that. He thought, seeing that the bottle of massage oil had been lying under the pillow.
Adding the bottle to his bag he sat down to wait for her.
J.J.
Getting to her room she called the airport, then the hotel. She was smiling happily finding that both could change the arrangements without much difficulty.
While she was changing, she tried to prepare herself for the other call she knew she had to make, but that she dreaded.
What can I say to him? I left just walked away when he probably needed me the most. I should have called sooner. She thought.
Don't be a wimp. Call him. The worst he can do is hang up on you, but you have to get it worked out, it can't stay unresolved like it is. You certainly can't just show up on his doorstep and say 'I'm back let's talk'. J.J. told herself picking up the phone.
Listening to it ring, she wondered if he'd moved or changed his number.
"Hello" She heard, breaking into her thoughts.
"Hi Ron, its J.J." She said, expecting him to hang up.
"J.J.!" Ron exclaimed. "Where the hell have you been?"
"Sorry I haven't called…" J.J. said.
"Don't worry about that. You were her best friend and after what happened I don't think I could have handled seeing you. Do you know what I mean?" Ron said, interrupting her.
"So you're doing ok?" J.J. asked, with obvious concern.
"It's getting better day by day." Ron replied. "But enough about me for now, you haven't answered my question. Where have you been and where are you now?"
"Portland right now, But we'll be in LA later today." J.J. said.
"We'll?" Ron asked.
"Yeah I took that job with the WWF." J.J. said.
"Are you going to stop by?" Ron asked, sounding unsure.
"Only if you are sure you want me to. I don't want to make things hard on you." She replied.
"Yeah I would. We need to get some things worked out." He said, sounding more confident.
"Great, I'll call before I come over. Are you still in the same place?" J.J. asked.
"Yeah, I … yeah same place." Ron said.
Hanging up, J.J. closed her eyes and tried to settle her nerves. Then gathering up her things she headed down to Kane's room.
Kane/J.J.
Letting herself in she saw his bags by the door with his mask on top.
Looking into the room, she saw him sitting on the couch with his head thrown back.
"We're all set." She said, stepping in front of him.
"AAGGHH!" She yelled, when he suddenly pulled her into his lap.
Taking her face in his hands he pulled her down for a kiss.
"Oh no, don't you start?" J.J. said when he moved his lips to her neck.
"We only have a little over an hour to get our flight." She said, trying to get up.
Letting her go he laughed.
I wasn't trying to start anything. Kane thought.
"Innocent." He said, using his amplifier.
"Not anymore." J.J. said laughing.
Not what I meant. Kane thought, feeling the blood rush to his face.
"AAWWW did I embarrass you big guy?" J.J. asked, laughing even harder as his blush deepened.
"Get any more red and you'll match your ring gear." J.J. said, still giggling.
Shaking his head he joined her laughter.
"Ok, Hun we really have to get going." J.J. said.
Once in flight, Kane took her hand. He was still holding it as he dozed off.
J.J. sat contentedly watching the steady rise and fall of his chest.
Looking up, she saw the man across the aisle staring at Kane.
Turning her gaze back to Kane she tried to seem him objectively. She tried to see him as someone who had not heard his story. Someone didn't know him and didn't love him.
He's huge and does look menacing. The way he dresses with nearly every inch of himself covered makes you wonder what he's hiding. Then there's that mask. It's unnerving; maybe even frightening to see someone who won't show his face. I can see where people would be nervous around him. She thought, examining him as he slept.
What I'd like to know is why he's like that? I've seen people with scars that are much worse and more widely spread. Those people walk around with their heads held high. J.J. thought, watching him change position slightly.
What did Ron say about the fire? J.J. thought, trying to remember.
That's right he said Undertaker set it when they were kids. J.J. thought.
But even if he was young when it happened, if there had been people around him that had the right attitude around him. Maybe if he'd been given a little therapy. He would have been ok. J.J. thought, leaning down and laying her head on his arm.
Instead he's withdrawn. He tries to hide his emotions within himself to control everything. He's not retarded like they all say he is. But he has such trouble with any form of communication. It's almost as if he hasn't used it much, or for a long time. She thought, trying to fit the pieces of the puzzle together.
Communication! Ron said he'd only just started talking. Why doesn't he sign? Why the hell wasn't he taught to sign? If the damage back then were too bad for him to speak wouldn't he have been encouraged to find another way to communicate. If he was I don't see it, He has trouble writing what he needs and he didn't speak or sign. How did he survive with NO way to communicate? It must have been hell to be unable to express his needs or anything else for that matter. J.J. thought growing angry, she sat up.
Why the hell didn't I notice that earlier? She asked herself.
If a basic need like communication was neglected or withheld what else was? Was he isolated is that why he's withdrawn? Does he call himself a monster because he guardian somehow made him feel that he was or that he should? Who made him feel so worthless and ugly that he covers himself like that? When and who made him wear the mask? J.J. thought, feeling tears fill her eyes.
Who was it Ron said had raised him? J.J. thought, trying to recall. That's right Paul Bearer who later revealed that he was Kane's father. Is he the one responsible?
Laying her head back down on his arm she began to unconsciously stroke his arm, more for her own comfort than his.
I'll never say my childhood sucked again. J.J. thought, curling up on the seat.
Kane shifted sleepily and tried to brush off what was tickling his neck.
Smiling, J.J. used his hair to tickle him again.
Bringing his hand back up, he brushed it against his neck. Then shifted trying to turn away from whatever it was.
Man he's really asleep. J.J. thought, when he hardly reacted to her attempts to wake him.
Time for plan b. J.J. thought smiling, as she wondered how he'd react.
Bending forward, she bit him gently on the neck.
What was that? Kane thought, groggily as he felt a twinge of pain in his neck.
Did something just lick me? He wondered, as he came more awake.
"Time to wake up." J.J. purred into his ear. "We're about to land." J.J. added, letting first her breath then her tongue brush against his ear.
Mmm J.J. Kane thought, opening his eyes and turning toward her voice.
Turning he came face to face with her.
Pulling his box from his pocket, he brought it to his throat.
"Behave." He ordered softly.
"Make me big guy." J.J. whispered, leaning forward.
Hearing a choked gasp, J.J. looked past Kane.
Oh that must have sounded really bad. That couldn't have looked too good either. J.J. thought, seeing the shocked expression on the face of the man who'd been staring earlier.
Looking back at Kane, she saw the mask the glove and his size.
Oh shit he thinks Kane's Dom. J.J. thought, collapsing against Kane's chest in a nearly hysterical fit of laughter.
What's so funny? Kane asked, himself looking in the direction she'd been facing.
Why is that funny? He wondered when he saw a man staring and blushing furiously.
I don't know either. He thought, shrugging his shoulders before turning his attention back to a still laughing J.J.
Grasping her shoulders, Kane tried to lift her up so he could see her face. When he couldn't he just sat back and waited for her to stop laughing. Even when they landed a few minutes later she was still going.
Getting into their rental, she looked over at him and nearly started laughing again.
Jeez, I hope he doesn't ask what I was laughing about. I'd never be able to explain that misunderstanding. For that matter how would I explain why he thought Kane and I were into S&M, and what that means? J.J. thought.
Still don't see what was so funny, or why she almost laughs every time she looks at me. Kane thought, as they drove.
Kane pulled off the road and into a restaurant parking lot.
"Hungry?" J.J. asked, hoping that was the reason they'd stopped and not her laughter.
Nodding, Kane got out and waited for her.
Walking across the parking lot he put his hand on the back of her neck gently stroking the soft skin.
Feeling his hand wrap around the back of her neck J.J. lost it.
Jeez that would look bad too. J.J. thought, as she doubled up with laughter.
"Shit! I'm sorry Kane." She said, as she tried to get control.
Why is my appearance and touch suddenly funny? He wondered, beginning to feel a familiar stab of betrayal in his chest.
Getting to their table, Kane stared out the window, unwilling to look at her, to watch her laugh at him again.
Reaching into his pocket, He pulled out some paper and a pen from the last hotel.
WHY he wrote in large letters.
"Why what?" J.J. asked.
LAUGH ME
He wrote boldly, then finally looking at her.
"It's not you, believe me. Trust me please, I'm not laughing at you." J.J. stuttered, seeing the pain and confusion in his eyes.
EXPLAIN
"I can't. Not here. Hell I don't know if I can explain it at all. Believe me I would never laugh at you." She said, sincerely as she reached out to take his hand.
How could she? I thought she was different. Kane thought, growing angry, not with her but with himself.
Yes ME make you laugh. He wrote, after pulling his hand out of her reach.
"No Kane. I laugh when I look at you because it reminds me of what got me laughing." She said earnestly.
During the entire meal he ignored her. After a few minutes she stopped trying, knowing it was only making him more upset.
I did it again. I swore I wouldn't but I did. He thought, angry with himself because he'd been fooled again.
All the way to the hotel they never looked at each other. Both were caught up in their own thoughts.
"Kane and Jaston." J.J. said when they reached the desk.
"Yes here they are. Kane room 309 and Jaston room 311." The clerk said handing them each their key.
Two rooms, did she plan this? She knew in Portland that she would not be sharing. She made sure of it. Kane thought, getting more upset by the second.
Reaching their floor, Kane stormed away from her before she could explain about the rooms.
Shit I'm just burying myself deeper and deeper. J.J. thought, disgusted with how she'd handled this whole thing and how she'd not explained to kane.
Trust me? I can't believe I told him that. He's never been rewarded for trusting, why he would think this time was any different. J.J. said, to herself angrily.
Going into her room, she dropped her bags and unlocked her side of the connecting door.
Why do I keep doing this to myself? She seemed so different. What about last night? Or was that the plan all along. Get the retard in bed then use it against me. I gave her plenty of ammunition by telling her she was my first. He thought, throwing his bags angrily across the room one at a time.
"What the hell was that?" J.J. said, aloud as she heard two distinct thuds from Kane's room.
Still feeling his anger grow, Kane turned and began to punch the door jam to the bathroom. He knew it would be harder to break than the walls.
I'd better get over there and get this straightened out before he totals that room. J.J. thought, when she heard a steady beat of thumps begin.
Going to his door, she began to pound on it.
What the hell am I going to do if he answers? J.J. wondered.
It sounds like he's punching holes in the walls. J.J. thought, now using both her fists to hit his door.
Whoever you are you're dead. Kane thought, yanking open the door.
Falling against his chest, she reached out and shoved him making him step back a little.
Stepping in, J.J. slammed the door behind her. She was determined to stay there until they'd worked it out.
Pulling off her glasses, she held them in one hand.
"What the hell has gotten into you? How can you believe for one second that I'd ever hurt you like that?" J.J. yelled, taking a step toward him.
"What have I ever done that would make you think that I was like that? I'd smash every camera I have and never pick up another one rather than to hurt you in any way!" J.J. said, feeling the tears begin to fill her eyes.
Listening to her, he felt his anger drain away.
"I'm sorry." J.J. whispered, turning away and walking toward the door.
Even as she turned away, Kane began remembering her gently touch, her ability to make him feel good. He thought about how angry she'd get when people treated him badly. Finally his mind stopped on the memory of her reaction to his face.
She's right. I was looking for betrayal and I found it. Kane thought.
Turning the doorknob with one hand she slipped her glasses on with the other. J.J. bit her lip, as she fought to hold back the tears until she was alone. Reaching out Kane shut the door even as she began to pull it open.
I've had my say, now he wants his. J.J. thought, even as he turned her around.
J.J. kept her head down, unable to face the pain she'd caused him.
Reaching for her and putting two fingers under her chin. He tilted her head back so she was looking at him. Then with the other hand, he removed her glasses.
I've really scared her and hurt her. He thought when he felt her flinch against his hand.
Looking unprotected into his eyes and the pain she'd caused she couldn't hold back any longer. J.J. felt her tears begin to escape. She never made a sound, as she stared up into his sad pained eyes.
I did this. I hurt her. He thought, feeling sick at her crushed expression and her tears.
Unable to stand the sight of what he'd done, Kane fell to one knee.
I'm sorry, I should have known better. I wish I could tell you how badly I wish it hadn't happened. He thought, waiting hoping she'd understand and forgive his stupidity.
What the hell is he doing? She thought, as he dropped to a knee and stayed there staring at the floor. Is he hurt? Why did he collapse?
"Kane? Honey are you ok?" She asked, putting her hand on the top of his head, everything else forgotten in a flash.
Wrapping his arms around her he held her tightly, burying his face against her.
Running her fingers through his hair she felt his hands close, grabbing two fists full of her shirt.
"Baby please you're scaring me. What's wrong, are you hurt?" J.J. asked, trying to tip his head up so she could see his eyes.
She's still afraid of me. He thought, feeling his stomach roll.
Something has to be wrong; he's not moving, not reacting at all. J.J. thought, beginning to panic.
When he didn't move to release her, J.J. reached back and began to pull and push on his fists trying to break his hold.
Please don't be afraid, don't pull away from me. He thought when he felt her trying to break free.
When she continued to fight against him, he released her.
Knew I'd ruin it somehow. He thought, still on one knee before her.
Squatting down, J.J. tilted his head back, trying again to see his eyes, but they were closed.
"Baby can you get up? Damn it Kane look at me!" J.J. said, loudly grabbing his shirt and shaking him a little.
Kane Opening his eyes. He found himself eye to eye with a pissed looking J.J.
She looks upset. Kane thought, looking into her eyes.
"Are you hurt?" J.J. asked
Hurt? Were mad at me now worried? Kane thought, cocking his head in confusion, and then shaking it no.
"NO! Well you're gonna be if you every scare me like that again." She growled, pushing against his chest.
Her push surprised him, allowing her to knock him backward onto his ass.
"First I hear all kinds of noise in here. A minute later you collapse at my feet and grab me like I'm the only thing keeping you upright. To make matters worse, you don't react to me at all. I thought you were seriously hurt and couldn't tell me where." J.J. said, kneeling down in front of him.
Kane just sat there and stared.
She's nuts, first she screams at me for thinking bad of her, and then she freaks out because she thinks I'm hurt? Tori never acted that way? But she didn't care, does J.J.? Kane thought absolutely confused by everything that had happened today.
"Come on we need to talk and I don't want to do it sitting on the floor." J.J. said, getting up.
Going to the fridge she grabbed a few beers for herself and a bottle of water for Kane.
Then she sat down on the coffee table waiting for him to join her.
Opening up the first can she had downed most of it before Kane sat down opposite her.
"This whole thing is my fault." J.J. said, before he'd even opened his water.
Looking up she saw he still wore his mask.
Damn I hurt him bad if he's wearing that. J.J. thought.
"Please don't hide from me, especially when you're upset at me." J.J. said, indicating the mask.
While he removed it, she finished the first beer.
"I'm really sorry. I should have realized I was doing something that hurt you. I've seen other people do it and gotten pissed." J.J. said, opening the second beer.
"I should have explained right away, but I didn't know how. I really should have said something when looking at you set me off again." J.J. said, pausing to take a long drink.
Why is she drinking? She never does? Kane wondered watching her.
"Instead I told you to trust me. Knowing how many times your trust has been betrayed, that was no better than slapping you in the face. I was being a thoughtless idiot." She said, finishing the second beer.
"Sorry know better." He said slowly, as if fighting for every word.
"I meant what I said though. I really would smash all my cameras and never pick up another rather than hurt you." She said, reaching for the third beer.
Moving quickly he snatched up the can before she reached it.
"Hey give that back." J.J. said.
You've had enough. He thought shaking his head no he dropped it behind the couch.
"I'll just get another one." J.J. said standing up.
Grabbing her by the hips, he half lifted half pulled her into his lap.
"What are you doing? I need a drink." J.J. said.
Sitting astride his legs, she tried to slide backward and get up.
Holding her still, Kane shook his head no.
When she relaxed a little he picked up his box.
"No drink explain." Kane said.
"I don't know if I can, but I'll try." She said.
God this is embarrassing. J.J. thought, trying to figure out some way to tell him.
"That guy on the plane, The one that was sitting across the aisle." J.J. said, hoping he remembered.
What about him? Nodding his head, he unconsciously cocked it looking confused.
"We…He kinda misunderstood a few things. It was his shocked look I was laughing at." J.J. said, hoping he'd catch on or let her drop it without her having to explain S&M to him. "Appearances can be deceiving."
Oh man, she thought, when he just looked more confused.
Now that she wasn't trying to get up, Kane rested his hands on her thighs as she talked.
"The was the way you're dressed, my licking your neck to wake you?" J.J. said, still hoping he'd catch on.
"Ok, how you told me to 'Behave' and I told you to 'make me'? Even the way you shrugged at him, like what can you do?" J.J. said. "All of that added to together gave him the wrong impression of us."
What is she talking about? What impression could those things have given that would make her laugh? He wondered, as he waited for her to continue.
"Impression?" He questioned when she didn't.
While he waited for her to explain his hands began to unconsciously slide up and down her thighs.
"He thought we were playing a game. Had a very different kind of relationship, one that involved a bedroom game or a sex game." J.J. said, hoping that would be enough.
"Do you understand?" J.J. asked hopefully.
Then she saw his eyes widen with the thought that people played games with sex.
Shaking his head no, He turned away, embarrassed to be so ignorant about such things.
Reaching out she turned him back to face her.
"I have to admit this would be easier if you'd heard of this kind of thing. But it's fine that you don't. Some of it gets pretty weird, before you even think about it kane NO I'm not speaking from personal experience." J.J. said.
"Ok there are a lot of different kinds of bedroom games. Some involve costumes or role-playing. Some involve mostly behavior and sometimes special types of clothing." J.J. started, feeling herself getting red.
Nodding, Kane wondered about the people who would do this.
"Ok, I'll just explain the kind of relationship that guy thought we had. He thought we were into Sato Masochism. In that kind of relationship one person enjoys being in complete control or is Dominant. While the other likes to be controlled or is Submissive." J.J. paused, trying to let this sink in and ignore his hands.
Why would he think we were like that, and how does that work? He wondered.
"He thought you were the one in control, because of way you were dressed and the mask. He thought I was the Submissive and or Masochist, and allowing you to control me." J.J. said.
You? NO way. Kane thought, laughing slightly.
Kane's hands had stopped moving, now he was just caressing her inner thighs with gentle strokes of his thumbs.
"If what he thought was true and you were then during our game you would tell me what to do every step of the way. What to wear, when and how I was to touch you. You would be in absolute complete control of every part of our intimacy. If you chose you could order me to walk around naked and wear a collar." J.J. said, making Kane laugh at the thought of her in a collar.
His thumbs moved more firmly against her thighs.
Is he enjoying this conversation or does he not know what he's doing to me? J.J. wondered, trying desperately not to moan and lean into them.
"For my part if I was Sub. As he thought then, I would follow your every command. Please you however you saw fit. If I did something without being ordered to or failed to do something you had demanded, I would submit to whatever punishment you chose. Depending on how much into the Masochism and or Bondage we were it could get painful, but if I was into masochism that is exactly what I'd want." J.J. finished.
"Now do you get the idea? When I licked your neck he thought it was part of it like your clothes. Then when you 'ordered' me to 'behave' and I told you to 'make me' he got the impression that we were playing a mild version of the game on the plane." J.J. said.
"Ask punish." Kane thought, confused that someone would ask for punishment, for pain.
"Yes, he thought I was asking you to punish me," J.J. thought, amused by the shocked look on his face and even smiling a bit.
"In that kind of relationship both parties enjoy their role. I would enjoy the punishment and you would enjoy giving it. Punishments could take any form from a spanking too much more intense pain. Even pleasure and excessive stimulation can be used as punishment you know." J.J. said, as his thumbs were actually brushing against her jeans clad crotch every few strokes.
How can pleasure be a punishment? Kane wondered, thinking of punishments he'd received in his life.
"Don't look so surprised. You've been torturing me with your hands since you pulled me into your lap." J.J. told him.
Looking down he realized what he'd been doing and pulled his hands away.
Guess that answers that question. He had no idea. J.J. thought.
"So now do you see why I was laughing? It was just a case of appearances being deceiving. I don't know why it struck me as so hilarious, but it did. Every time I looked at you afterward I just saw the shocked look on his face, and I'd start laughing again." J.J. said.
Laughing a little himself, Kane nodded.
"I'm glad we got that taken care of. Unfortunately I have to make a phone call and go meet Ron." J.J. said.
RON? Who's that? Kane thought, feeling a strange bit of anger toward a man that he'd never met.
"Maybe after we get things straightened out we could all get together for dinner? He's a really big fan." J.J. said, seeing him look hurt and a little angry.
"It's not like that." J.J. said, seeing what she thought was jealousy. "Some things happened and I did some hurtful things before I left."
"I've already waited too long to get it settled." J.J. said, trying to reassure him.
"I have to go to my room to get ready and call him. I'll come back as soon as we're through." J.J. said when she saw he was still hurt.
"Why two" He asked.
"I didn't know how you felt about sharing. I also didn't know if you wanted people to know about us. That's why I made sure we had connecting rooms. So we could go back and forth without anyone noticing if that's what you wanted." J.J. said, as she unlocked his side and opened it.
I don't care if they know. But Vince will find a way to keep us apart if he finds out. Kane thought with a sigh.
"Vince not." He said, looking disappointed.
"Ok then, we do the connecting room thing. But we'll have to be careful because if anyone finds out Vince will know too." J.J. said, trying to make it seem ok.
"So I'll see you in a little while." J.J. said, walking through to her room.
BKane
She's right about the rooms, but is that the only reason? He wondered.
What does she need to get worked out that I can't be there? Was he her boyfriend? Kane wondered, feeling that little spark of anger grow.
He sat staring at the connecting door.
I could open that door and listen to her call. Then I would know. Kane thought, but felt ashamed immediately.
Picking up the remote he turned on the TV.
J.J.
Going to her room she unpacked some clothes. Then taking a quick shower she changed.
"Hey Ron." J.J. said, when he'd answered.
"Hey that was fast." Ron said.
"Well we booked a flight right after I talked to you." J.J. answered.
"You keep saying WE is your imaginary friend back?" Ron asked, teasing her and laughing.
"No, I flew down with a friend." She said. "So can I come over now or would later be better."
"Now is good. Why don't you bring your friend and once we're set we'll all get something to eat." Ron asked.
"Um, I don't know if that's such a good idea." J.J. said uncertainly.
"Your friend doesn't know?" Ron asked.
"No I didn't see any…" J.J. started.
"Hun, you know a lot of people around here. Do you honestly think it won't be mentioned if you see any of them?" Ron asked, interrupting her.
"You're right. I didn't think about that. I had meant to show him around and introduce him to everyone." J.J. said.
"So why don't you fill him in and bring him over." Ron said.
"Ok, sounds good. He'll be pleased I'm sure." J.J. answered.
"HE, is this the kind of he Chris would be happy about?" Ron asked.
"Yeah it is." J.J. said, feeling herself becoming tearful. "Um I'll see you in a bit."
Kane/J.J.
Flipping through the channels Kane stared at the screen without really seeing it.
I should go to the gym. At least it would give me something to do. He thought, already missing her.
"So you want to come with?" J.J. asked, as she walked into his room.
Thought you didn't want me to go? Kane thought, looking over at her.
"Ron's gonna die when he sees you're the friend I'm bringing." She said, trying to sound upbeat but failing.
How do I tell him what a cold-hearted bitch I was before we met? J.J. wondered, dreading the conversation.
I'll tell him in the car. That way I won't have to see his eyes. J.J. decided
Something isn't right. Kane thought, watching her.
Getting up he grabbed his mask and nodded.
Approaching their rental [another SUV] Kane started to hand her the keys.
"No, why don't you drive. I've been drinking remember." J.J. said, trying to give any excuse so he'd drive and wouldn't be able to look at her.
"Before we get there I need to tell you what happened so you'll understand what we're talking about." J.J. said, as they got onto the freeway.
What didn't she tell me before if it's important? Kane wondered.
"I told you about what I did. How I did crime photos." J.J. began.
Yeah, it sounded rough. Kane thought, remembering the conversation and how she'd cried.
"Well one of my best friends was a female officer name Chris. Ron was her husband." J.J. paused.
Was? Kane thought.
"That job, seeing what I did every day changed me. I became hard, cold-hearted. Only I didn't realize it was happening." J.J. continued.
That job would change anyone. He thought, remembering how she'd started. But you are not cold-hearted?
"Anyway one day I was called to a double homicide. It was a woman and a baby girl. It was a really bad scene and they didn't know who the victims were. I started taking the shots but something was nagging at me. Then I realized I knew them. It was Chris and her daughter Maggie." J.J. said, brokenly tears running unnoticed down her cheeks.
"I went over to the lead detective who was a friend Mike. I told him who they were. Then I went back and finished taking the pictures." J.J. said, and then stopped talking for a minute.
She must have been in shock or something. Kane thought.
"That's when I realized what I had become. I never cried. Never felt a damn thing. Not when I took the pictures, and not later that night. Even when I got together all the pictures I had of Chris, Ron and Maggie. I brought Ron the pictures in a box. Like a forgotten pair of shoes. Then I took off. I never went to the funeral or tried to keep in touch. Hell, I don't even know if they caught the people who did it." She sobbed.
Curling up in the seat she began to rock.
"This is the first time I've cried for them." She said, looking away as she continued to rock.
Still dazed by what she'd just said, he pulled the car onto the shoulder.
Maybe this is a bad idea. Better to forget, to push it away. He thought, reaching out to touch her as she sobbed.
J.J. pulled away, moving closer to the door.
Don't! You can't make it go away. She thought, angrily still sobbing.
Kane unlocked both their belts. Then walked around and opened her door.
Before he could do anything else J.J. turned and grabbed him. She buried her face in his chest clutching the front of his shirt in her fists.
Kane began rocking right along with her while he held her. He softly rubbed her back and waited for her sobs to quiet.
"Release her and step away." He heard from his left.
Turning his head he saw two police officers.
Oh shit, he thought, knowing his amplifier was on the console out of reach.
"I said release her and step away!" One of the officers said sternly.
Releasing her, he tried to step back but she wasn't letting go.
Kane started reaching down to unclasp her hands.
"Keep your hands where I can see them!" The officer shouted sharply. "NOW STEP AWAY!"
I can't, I'll pull her out of the seat. In the shape she's in she won't catch herself. Kane thought, hoping they'd see the problem.
Kane moved slowly putting his hands down on top of the rental's roof. He stood still trying to look non-threatening while he waited for their next move.
One of the officers stepped carefully forward, while his partner stayed back to cover his approach.
As he walked forward his eyes never left the big man's mask or hands.
J.J. still hadn't moved, or reacted to the presence of the officers. She continued to cry silently and cling to his shirt.
Kane watched him walk up and tried not to move, as he felt the smaller man cuff him.
"Ok, now back off." The officer told Kane, pulling him backward by his cuffed hands.
Please see her. Don't let her fall. Kane asked the officer silently.
"Dave come take this guy." The officer yelled, even as he reached down pushing on J.J.'s shoulder.
"On the way Paul." Dave called back.
By the time Dave reached them Paul had managed to untangle her hands from his prisoner's shirt.
Feeling Kane pull free J.J. curled up and cried harder.
Thought he would understand would stay. She thought, her heart breaking even more.
Dave moved Kane to the front of the SUV and bent him over onto the hood.
Don't fight. Don't move. Kane told himself as he felt the heat from the still running engine through his shirt.
"Anything in your pockets I should know about, any weapons, anything that will stick me." Dave asked, beginning to search the big man.
Kane twisted his head slightly trying to see J.J. through the windshield.
"It's ok ma'am. It's all over we have him in custody and he can't hurt you now." Paul said, trying to calm the hysterical woman down.
Kane stayed still as he was searched.
"Ma'am please we need to know what happened. Did he hurt you?" Paul continued talking quietly.
"What's your name?" Dave asked Kane when he didn't find any ID.
J.J. please snap out of it. Kane pleaded silently, concerned that she needed help.
J.J. began to slowly become aware of a voice talking to her.
Not Kane? Who? She wondered.
"Paul!" Dave shouted.
Looking up Paul saw Dave struggling with the previously calm giant.
Dave kept trying to push Kane, to bring him to the ground but he was no match for Kane's strength.
No Damn it! Get your hands off of me. Kane thought, wildly as he fought the man who'd just tried to remove his mask.
"What happened?" Paul asked, as he joined in the fight.
"No ID won't talk to me and went nuts when I tried to take off his mask and get a look at him." Dave said breathlessly.
"Calm down buddy. We just want to see who you are." J.J. heard, as she slowly became aware of her surroundings.
There was a loud Thud followed by more shouting.
"Hold him Paul. I'll have this damn thing off in a minute." She heard.
Don't do this Kane thought, as he was pinned.
Closing his eyes he struggled, but knew it was useless. Just as it had been other times, He'd fail, and they'd see him. Thrashing one last time he went still.
Looking around she was shocked into action. She saw an officer kneeling on Kane's neck while another fought with his mask.
"NO!" J.J. screamed, jumping out of the car and pushing the officer away from Kane's mask.
"Get off him." She shouted, even as she reached out to try and fix Kane's mask.
"I said get off of him. This is police brutality." She screamed.
Paul and Dave just stayed where they were staring at this screaming mad woman.
Paul realized that the big man had gone still so he moved off him. He kept his hand on the prisoner just in case.
"Dave take her over there and find out what the hell is wrong with her. Cuff her if you have to." Paul said.
As she was pulled away she saw that Kane had his eyes squeezed tightly shut.
He gave up. She thought, seeing how still and limp he was.
This is all my fault. J.J. told herself as she was led away.
"It's going to be ok Kane. I promise." J.J. called out.
"Firstly who are you?" Dave asked.
"J. Jaston." J.J. answered, wondering if she should have them contact her old station.
"What happened ma'am? We got a call about a car on the side of the road occupants fighting." Dave said, once he had her away from Paul and the prisoner.
"It wasn't like that." J.J. stuttered, still confused as to what had happened.
"When we got here we saw him restraining you in the car. You were hysterical. We tried to do it quietly but he wouldn't obey orders. He wouldn't give his name; finally he went crazy on us." Dave said. "Why don't you to tell me how it was?"
Glancing toward the car she saw that Kane still hadn't moved at all. The officer still had him pinned on the side of the road.
Laying there the heat penetrating his clothes and mask easily. Kane was lost in memories. Seeing the times before when he'd failed had been restrained and was helpless.
"I got really upset about something and started to cry. He must have pulled over to comfort me. I guess the rest is just a huge misunderstanding." J.J. said, wanting desperately to be near Kane to help him somehow.
"Please ask your partner to take the cuffs off of him." J.J. half pleaded with Dave.
"Sorry not until you explain why he gave us such a hard time and went crazy on us. It's for his safety as much as ours. We may have to take this whole thing to the station so he's better of as he is." Dave said.
"He wasn't trying to give you a hard time. He wasn't refusing to speak he can't, not without his voice amplifier. That's on the console with his wallet." J.J. said, still watching for any sign of life from Kane.
"You said he went crazy? Would that be when you tried to take off his mask?" J.J. asked, already knowing that it was.
"What does that have to do with anything?" Dave asked. "He assaulted not one, but two police officers."
"You don't understand. It was you, trying to take it off that started that. He wasn't trying to assault anyone. He was trying to keep you away from his mask. He wears it because he was badly burned. He doesn't let anyone see him without it. Look at him, if he wanted to hurt anyone I think he could have." J.J. said. "Man has this been the day from hell. Please let's just agree that it was a mistake and leave it at that."
"We'll see." Dave said, knowing this was going to be hell to write up and explain to his supervisors.
J.J. turned walking toward Kane, knowing they would have to wait for a decision.
Dave walked to the front of the car and tried to explain what had occurred to Paul. J.J. never heard a word even though they were right near her. She was otherwise occupied.
Kneeling down on the hot asphalt beside Kane, J.J. reached out rubbing her hand across his shoulder and began to speak softly to him.
"Kane? Hun please open your eyes. Look at me. It's over now. It was all a mistake. Please be ok. Please answer me." J.J. pleaded with an unmoving Kane.
Shaking him slightly she noticed that he just moved with her, there was no resistance.
"Kane baby please, I'm so sorry. Please be ok." J.J. said, trying desperately to get some reaction from him.
"How rough were you two?" J.J. asked becoming concerned that Kane was actually hurt by the officers.
"Ma'am look at him. We had to fight him pretty hard." Paul answered.
"If he's hurt…" J.J. started to say but just trailed off as she went back to trying to get through to Kane.
Would love to hear from anyone reading this what do you think… feedback greatly appreciated