Author's Note: And, here is a chapter with more Christmas parties. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Nope. Don't own anything.
It was a normal day in December on some island. But, for Foley Maeve and her best friend, Aldwin Yorkson, things weren't so normal.
"Basil, what the [fairy cow sandwich] are you taking about when you say 'Christmas party contest'?" Maeve asked her "younger brother", Basil Le'Ursa.
"It's this popular contest where the person or persons with the best Christmas party win neat stuff. I won the contest last year, so I have to help judge this year's contest," Basil explained.
"I remember your party! Didn't Aomame have to do appendicitis surgery on you on the buffet table?" Maeve asked.
"That was the one," Basil answered. Aldwin sweatdropped.
"I'd rather watch Inception and still not get what's going on that help your pervert brother judge people's parties," Aldwin whispered to Maeve.
"Baby brother, I have a question. Why are we judging the parties for you?" Maeve asked. Basil said nothing as he handed $50 to Maeve and Aldwin.
"I was banned from attending the parties the Capricorns, Libras, Aries, Geminis, Aquariuses, Tauruses, Leos, Scorpios, Sagittariuses, Straw Hats, Hearts, Kidds, Marines, and even Impel Down prisoners were holding," Basil explained.
"What happened?" Aldwin asked.
"Maeve, do you like Sarutobi FANSERVICE?" Basil asked Maeve.
"Of course, I do. For every shirtless picture of Heathcliffe that I find, Wiffles give me a dollar. Wiffles gives me five dollars if I give her videos of Heathcliffe in the shower," Maeve explained. Aldwin and Basil sweatdropped.
"Maeve, Wiffles is a flamethrower," Aldwin pointed out.
"Okay, Maeve, we did not need to know that," Basil said. "In fact, why don't you begin crashing people's parties? I need to go buy some bulk alcohol at Costco."
"Okaley-dokaley, neighborino," Maeve said in the voice of Ned Flanders.
"No, no, no. Don't do that. Just… Don't," Basil said.
That evening, Aldwin and Maeve began their Christmas party crawl.
"So, where do we start?" Aldwin asked.
"Canada!" Maeve answered.
"We don't have time to go to Canada, Maeve," Aldwin pointed out. Maeve said nothing as she and Aldwin began walking up a gangplank to a ship.
"I meant that we're going to the Aries' party first!" Maeve said as she knocked on the door. "AY YO, MA!"
Aomame answered the door.
"Yes?" Aomame asked.
"May Aldwin and I come in for a bit? Basil wants us to do something for him," Maeve asked.
"If this doesn't involve anything illegal, I'm in," Aomame said. Aldwin and Maeve said nothing as they entered the Cartago, where a Canada-themed Christmas party was in full swing.
"So… What are you guys doing?" Aldwin asked.
"Putting maple syrup and poutine onto our Christmas cookies," Beal answered. He then held out a poutine-topped cookie. "Want one?"
"Pass," Aldwin answered. Llewellyn held out a glass of milk.
"Bagged milk?" Llewellyn asked. Before he could react, Maeve grabbed the glass and drank all of the milk.
"Hmm… Tastes like Wal-mart-brand milk," Maeve said. "Anyway, we have to go. If not, Basil is going to get us arrested."
"We'll be back in a few minutes," Aldwin said before he and Maeve left the Cartago. The Aries sweatdropped.
"It was the poutine, wasn't it?" Beal asked everyone.
On board the Bravia…
"I'm sorry, but only Maeve is allowed," Linus told the two judges.
"Sexist! SEXIST!" Aldwin yelled like he was Yuffie from Final Fantasy VII.
"Why is that?" Maeve asked, tilting her head.
"Because you're a girl," Linus answered in a deadpan tone of voice. Maeve and Aldwin blinked.
"We're gonna go. Say 'hi' to Arvin for me," Maeve said before she and Aldwin left.
"Fact: Historically, Christmas wreaths have been used to symbolize power and strength," Cube said.
"I want to go to the Leo's party!" Jodie yelled. Maeve turned to the Dolomite, which was surrounded by police officers, Marines, Canadian Mounties, and the SWAT team.
"I've made a huge mistake!" Leo yelled from inside the ship. Maeve turned to Aldwin.
"They lose the competition. The Leos didn't even try with their party," Maeve said.
A few minutes later, Maeve and Aldwin were on the Thousand Sunny, eating Christmas cookies Sanji made
"Fact: Watching Donald Duck cartoons on Christmas Eve is a tradition in Sweden," Cube said.
"Eat up! I'm making more cookies!" Sanji yelled to Aldwin and Maeve as he pulled cookies out of the oven.
"And, I've got a ham!" Nami announced. A ham then hit Nami on the head. "What the hell?!"
Aldwin and Maeve slowly got up and left.
"Do they win?" Maeve asked.
"We've only attended three parties," Aldwin pointed out.
"Make that four," Maeve said.
"What?" Aldwin asked as they walked up a gangplank. "Where are we?"
"The Hyperion," Maeve answered.
"Maeve, there you are!"
Daisuke ran out of the Hyperion, blowing on a noisemaker.
"Daisuke! I hope the party didn't start without us!" Maeve said. Daisuke dragged Maeve and Aldwin inside, where the Capricorns' party was in full swing.
"They don't seem to be doing anything," Aldwin whispered to Maeve.
"And, I just realized that Locke is two years older than Miller," Maeve observed. Aldwin blinked. "Miller is eighteen and Locke is twenty."
"Locke's TWENTY?!" Aldwin cried. The Capricorns then stopped what they were doing. "Uhh..."
"Fact: Saint Nicholas did not serve as the inspiration for Santa Claus," Cube said. Then, loud, EDM/dubstep music began to play, and the Capricorns started to dance. Some were even drinking alcoholic beverages.
"Okay, I'm bored," Maeve said as she watched a drunk Karin grind against Kartik.
"Yeah, let's go to the next party," Aldwin said as Maeve watched Heathcliffe dump a bottle of vodka on himself. "Maeve, what are you doing?"
"Sarutobi FANSERVICE," Maeve said. Aldwin said nothing as he dragged Maeve off.
A few minutes later, Maeve and Aldwin boarded an empty and deserted ship with the lights off.
"Is anybody even here? I don't even know who owns this ship," Aldwin asked Maeve.
"We'll just wait for everyone to get here," Maeve said.
"How do we know we're not on the ship of the Dragon Lady?" Aldwin asked.
"She wouldn't own this ship," Maeve answered. Then, soft music came from inside the ship.
"Maeve, where is that music coming from?" Aldwin asked. Maeve opened the nearest door, and she saw that the hallway was lit up.
"Follow me," Maeve said. As Aldwin and Maeve walked down the hallway, the lights got brighter and the music got louder.
"Okay. Now I think I know whose party we're crashing," Aldwin said.
"It may not be them. This could be a trap," Maeve said as they approached a closed door. "Ready?"
"Don't come crying to me if we get killed, tortured, kidnapped, arrested, or sent to Grandpa Garp's Bauhaus Village," Aldwin explained. Maeve shuddered.
"Well, here goes nothing. You do have the police on speed dial, right?" Maeve asked before she opened the door, revealing a loud party in a brightly-lit room. Maeve gasped.
"What is it?!" Aldwin yelled.
"Indie rock! Cards Against Humanity! Free food and drinks! A piñata! Darts! Ugly, hipster sweaters!" Maeve yelled. Aldwin sweatdropped.
"And, that means?" Aldwin asked before the two of them walked into the room, revealing that they were at the Libras' very hipster Christmas party. "Oh. We got the hipsters."
"Didn't the piñata or the ugly sweaters give it away?" Maeve asked. "And, how come they haven't noticed us yet?"
"They're hipsters. Only explanation," Aoi said.
A few minutes later, Aldwin, Maeve, and the Libras were playing Cards Against Humanity. Aldwin and Maeve still hadn't been noticed by the Libras.
"War! What's it good for?" Kazura read from a black card before he pulled out some white cards. "Miller answered with 'Tickets to see The Black Keys in concert'. Jin-Mao answered with 'To recreate my favorite anime'. Edmund answered with 'To get rid of the Capricorn Pirates'. Edmund, while your answer could've been the winning card for this round, it is not an official Cards Against Humanity card. Therefore, you are disqualified for five rounds."
"What?! Fuck you!" Edmund yelled. Rhett sighed.
"I still need to make new house rules for this game," Rhett said under his breath. Before Kazura could read off of Maeve's card, a ruckus was heard outside.
"Get your asses out here, you arrogant hipsters!"
The Libras got up.
"What the hell do the Capricorns want at this hour?" Edmund asked as the Libras left the ship, leaving Aldwin and Maeve alone together.
"Fact: You know what? You already know the story of how the British army and the German army settled their differences on Christmas Day to celebrate Christmas during World War I, so you don't get a fun fact this time," Cube said.
When Aldwin and Maeve got outside, they saw the Straw Hats, Capricorns, Libras, Aries, and Geminis fighting.
"What's going on?" Aldwin asked.
"It's all a setup! They have better parties than us!" Nami sobbed.
"And, I've worn out all the reasons to keep knocking at your door! Could be the changing of the seasons, but I don't love you anymore!" Jodie sang/argued. Everyone sweatdropped.
"Okay, why are we fighting?" Yukari asked.
"Because I sent Aldwin and Maeve to all of your Christmas parties to determine which one was the best."
Basil stepped out of the shadows. Everyone turned to Basil.
"I've made a huge mistake," Kazura said under his breath.
"So, Maeve, Aldwin, who had the best Christmas party?" Basil asked.
"The Libras," Aldwin and Maeve answered at the same time. The Libras turned to Aldwin and Maeve.
"You were at our party the entire time?!" Miller cried.
"Congratulations, Libra Pirates! You win my 'Best Christmas Party' contest thingie!" Basil yelled. Everyone else turned to the Libras, Aldwin, Maeve, and Basil.
"Get them," Yuki-Rin said before an epic chase ensued.
Ending Note: Want even more Christmas parties? Review.