A/N : I'm an awful person with an awful case of writer's block, which has been going on for months. No amount of profuse apologizing will be worthy of your forgiveness. I promise to do better. There is a lemon at the end of this chapter, actually, it's more like the entire thing, so if you don't mind it, go for it. If not, you can skip it. Do whatever you want. I deserve it after being gone for so long.

**ALL recognizable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer! No copyright infringement is intended!**

Chapter Twenty One: Au Revoir (APoV)

Before, I had only seen the Eiffel Tower in books, sketches that later proved to be blueprints the contractors had made, neve up close. Now, as I stood on a balcony that gave an unobstructed view of the skyscraper in question, I never wanted to leave. It was nighttime, so all of Paris was lit up in peaceful, blinding little dots that lit up the dark sky.

We were living in an apartment- or "flat" as they called them in Europe- that Cyrus had purchased many years ago. It was relatively large: two bedrooms, a large living room with a small balcony that overlooked the Champ de Mars in the Seventh Arrondissement of France. The kitchen, even useless, was beautiful, and opened up into the kitchen. Every wall, except in the bedrooms, were white with crown molding. The bedrooms were done in a deep red, the same color as blood. Built-in shelving was scattered throughout the apartment. When we arrived, the flat was already furnished, something I think Cyrus had something to do with, even though the majority of it were things that, like the kitchen, were useless. Two four-poster beds, sofas, a dining table, that sort of thing. Basically the only thing we put to use were the built-ins, as I refused to leave behind any of my books- albums and all. We decided to put the chairs of the dining table on the balcony, which made for an amazing reading nook.

We had only been in Europe for one month, though it felt like we had never lived elsewhere. I had no struggle with getting acclimated to the city. The apartment was only part of the reason. We spent most of the night roaming the city, and on overcast days we toured the major attractions the country had to offer. Before I knew it, I was able to make my way back home from just about anywhere in the Seventh District.

I heard Cyrus approach before the sliding doors opened. I turned to face him just as he goes to massage my shoulders. The intimate moment we had in Chicago all those nights ago was an event that ran through my mind several times daily, especially when he touched me. I knew Cyrus was waiting for me to be ready, waiting patiently, in fact. But, as much as I wanted to get on with the forever I had been given, my husband had died. My daughter after that. To ruin their memory was not something I wanted to do, for selfish reasons especially.

I didn't try to convince myself that something wouldn't happen between Cyrus and me later on. I knew I was delaying the inevitable. I also knew of women who had been married unreasonably soon after their first husband had died out of necessity, and I was lucky that I hadn't had to be one of them. Whether that was because my father, the head of the house, was dead, and I was pregnant at the time, or because anyone who looked could see just how broken I was, or all three, I had no idea.

But it had been close to three months since Isabelle's death, five since Nathaniel's, and almost two and a half years since my parents and Edward had passed. When looking at it through a lense of forever, it was a little blip on the radar- almost completely insignificant. Going from having my days numbered to having a literal forever… Anyway, what was I waiting for?

Suddenly in the "What The Hell?" mindset, I turned around to face Cyrus. He gazed at me in confusion as I reversed our position by putting my hands on his shoulders. He didn't say anything for a moment, just let me continue staring at him.

What was everything I went through in the grand scheme of things? Were they pointless life moments that would eventually become a life lesson? No, I didn't believe so. But were they events that led me to this: becoming a vampire, leaving the city which so boldly hated me, and living with a man who wasn't my dead husband? Obviously. Was that a good thing? Probably not.

I had been told from a young age that my life had been previously planned out. By God or some other greater being, I haven't an idea. Whenever Edward and I would have a bad day at school or when a member of the family did something downright dreadful, Mother would always say: "Life will go how it will go. It will all be well in the end."

So… If Cyrus was to be the man that I was going to be with for, quite literally, forever, why not get a head start? What did any of my reservations amount to when I had a millennia to get over them?

Nothing.

Leaving my hands on his shoulders, I leaned in until I was almost at Cyrus' lips.

"Alexa, what are you-" he started, interrupting me.

"Shh." I muttered, and rose up on my tiptoes and sealed our mouths.

***BEGIN RATED M SCENE***

For a minute, he let me take control, our tongues meshing together, our bodies in the same position we were before. And then, he began to react. His hands curled in my hair, giving it a gentle tug at the root, and pulled me closer, closer, and closer until I couldn't tell where he stopped and I began. Without a second thought, I pushed him back inside the flat and through the living room, obviously leading him what had been deemed "my" bedroom, when he suddenly picked me up. He wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me effortlessly.

"Are you sure?" he murmured against my lips.

"Mm-hmm." I hummed, and locked my arms around his neck.

We reached the bedroom without my noticing, because before I could blink, he was dumping me on the bed. As soon as I hit the mattress, he was kissing down my jaw, down my neck, and going even lower. My back arched and I let out a moan. Cyrus chuckled and came back to the nape of my neck, licking and nipping a little to illicit another moan.

"Stop me," he whispered, slowly unbuttoning my dress.

"No," I said, trying to bite back a grin.

"Alexa," he said warningly, undoing another button.

"Nope." I popped the 'p' at the end of the word, my lips curling more prominently.

"Lexie, if you don't stop me now, I won't stop at all." he sang rather carelessly, snapping away another button. He wasn't letting anything pass through his features. He was clearly happy about the direction we were going in, and even more happy about the fact that I didn't want him to stop. His tone implied these questions were a game- foreplay, if you would- but I couldn't tell if he was expected me to turn him away again.

"And if I don't want you to stop at all?"

He grinned, but didn't say anything, once again plucking at a fourth button. The buttons only went down to the bottom of my chest, so he didn't have much farther to go. Honestly, he could've just ripped the entire front of it and be done within a millisecond. But by going slowly, by taking his precious time, he was giving me another chance to opt out- which I had no intention of doing. I relished in the feel of his hands, his lips, his body- all of which were something I hadn't felt in a very long time- on me. Even through his clothes, I could feel how toned, and hard, he was.

By the time he finished undoing my dress, he figured out that I wasn't going to start screaming at him to stop anytime soon, and began to speed up. Cyrus pulled the blue silk over my head, pulling back to glance at the white lace corset I wore.

"You're so beautiful, you know that?"

If I could have, I would've blushed. "Just get on with it. Please?"
He laughed at me and leaned down to press his lips to mine. "As you wish, m'lady."

Our tongues melded together yet again, and his hand came up to undo the corset, tugging the straps off my shoulders. He slips it down my body easily, not getting any resistance. I propped myself up on my shoulders to watch him. He tossed the corset over his shoulder, and it landed perfectly on the dress he'd thrown that way earlier. He stopped to look at me. Instinctively, I moved my hand in an attempt to shield myself from his eyes. Cyrus gripped my hands and moved them to my sides, looking me directly in the eyes.

"Don't hide yourself from me, Lexa. You're stunning. You have nothing to be ashamed of." he scolded with a shake of his head.

"It's just…" I began.

"I know." he interrupted gently. "You do not have to explain anything to me. Besides, it's not like you don't have time to get over your shyness." he smiled.
I grinned. "I guess you're right."

He pecked my lips and went back to sitting on his haunches, then began making his way back up to my lips, only he did it by pressing kisses up my legs, my stomach, my neck… you get the picture. By the time he'd made it back to my head, I was moaning.

"Cyrus…"

"Patience, darling. Patience." he muttered against my jaw, sucking slightly.

"You're testing what little patience I have. Please!"

"How long has it been since you've been with a man, Alexa?" he asked snarkily.

What? "What does that have to do with anything?" It was when I stopped that I noticed I had been wiggling.

"Just answer the question,"

"Nathaniel left for the Army when I was six months pregnant. Now, you answer my question."

Cyrus smirked. "Do you remember how it felt the first time you were with Nathaniel intimately?" At my nod, he continued. "After a prolonged period of time, it could feel the same way. Without the proper… preparation, of course. Which is why I will continue with my pace, and get you as bothered as I can before I take you."

My eyes widened at the last three words. I swallowed thickly and nodded, not able to speak, and definitely unable to deny his wishes.

He smiled at my response to his explanation, showing me his brilliant teeth. "Good. Now, hold still. I am going to try something. Feel free to watch, if you please."

My eyebrows furrowed as me sat down on his knees beside me. I propped myself up on my elbows and watched as he trailed his hand back down my body before he halted at the apex of my thighs. His fingers played with me gently, making me throw my head back with a moan, until he slowly sank fingers into me.

"Gods, Alexa…" he groaned. "You're so wet."

"If you're going to keep talking like that, you are going to have to speed up your 'preparation.'" I informed him breathlessly.

He chuckled. "Yes, ma'am."

Cyrus delved his fingers inside three more times, before he pulled his shirt over his head, tossing his pants away afterward. Before I could blink, he was on me, his body- from his feet to his lips- were pressed to mine.

"Are you ready for me?" he muttered against my lips.

I smiled. "Absolutely."

With that affirmation, he replaced his fingers with something larger. My head fell back with a gasp, and he groaned in response. He filled me up completely, to the hilt. It didn't hurt so much as stretch me. It felt so amazing.

"Are you okay?" he grunted, trying his best to stay still.

"More than okay. Please keep going. Please." I begged.

"I have no intention on stopping, Alexa." he muttered huskily, and started to thrust.

I gasped. He groaned.

And then "gentle" flew through the window.

Suddenly, it was all primal. Teeth were bared, nails dug their way into hard skin, and growling filled the room. We were animals in every sense of the word, racing towards one goal.

Thrust after thrust, he spurred me on farther than I could've imagined possible. With Nathaniel, I had been forewarned that most girls didn't reach their pleasure peak the first time, so I wasn't surprised when nothing came about. Later during the honeymoon, I'd found out what all the fuss was about. But this… With Cyrus… Was nothing compared to that.

Cyrus was the boulder to Nathaniel's grain of sand.

In more ways than one. (It was very clear that men back in Cyrus' day, were very well endowed).

Within moments, I was racing towards the precipice of pleasure- digging my fingers deeper into Cyrus's hips, my ankles locked around his waist, my eyes on his as our mouths practically devoured each other.

"Please, Cyrus, please!" I groaned against his mouth. "It feels too good, please…"

"Almost, young one. Almost," he grunted and began to swing his hips faster and harder than before. A moan flew from my mouth as my head fell back onto the pillows, disconnecting our lips.

"Now," he gasped. "Come, Alexa. Let go. Now."

At his words, I did exactly what he told me, with a scream of course. He followed after me, adding a couple more thrusts before letting out a loud roar and falling limp on top of me as I settled back into my body. We were both breathless, gasping for unneeded air, tangled up in the limbs of the other.

***END RATED M SCENE***

For a while, we just lay there, regaining the ability to breathe and speak, nestled into one another, soaking up the after effects of what we had just done. Of course, being me, I had to break our amazing after-glow moment by laughing. Loudly.

Snickers shook through my body, moving to Cyrus's in the process. He looked at me in shock before letting a smile grace his face, rolling off of me.

"Is everything okay, sweetheart?"

Sweetheart? "Everything is perfect. For the first time in years, I feel amazing."

"You can feel parts of your body? I must have done something wrong." he retorted.

"You did something right." I shot back, and turned to face him, raising up on my elbow. "Cyrus, I haven't felt truly alive since my family died. Everyone after that took huge chunks of my soul with them. But with you… You somehow found a way to make me feel normal again, in that one moment. I wasn't the girl who had lost everything. I felt beautiful, loved, even. I know we aren't anywhere near that stage, but… I don't know. I feel so different. Alive. And I have you to thank for that. You cannot comprehend what you just gave me. I really needed that."

"Alexa, as your maker, it is my duty to make sure you have everything you need- until you find a mate, then that becomes his job. But for now, you are my responsibility, and I will do my damndest making sure you go back to the girl you once knew. I promise."

I stared into his blood colored eyes, and kissed his hand before pressing it to my cheek. "Thank you," I whispered.

He pulled himself up and captured my lips with his. "There is no need to thank me, Alexa. None at all."

A/N: So… yeah. Not a lot of real content, but I swear we're getting there. As I've said before, a lot of the later chapters are longer and completely finished, so updates will be getting faster at some point. And not too long from now, if I had to guess. Three, maybe four chapters, and then you shouldn't have to wait months on months to get updates. I'm really, truly sorry I suck at this so much. I thank you from the bottom of my heart that you keep reading this.

Laters,

Em