Hey, beautiful people!
I'm back! You guys have all been beautiful and I appreciate all of your kind words. I'm feeling a lot better, although, as anyone suffering from anxiety, depression and any other lovely mental health issues, I'm taking one day at a time. Still feeling a little...Iffy, but hey. That's life.
We're coming up to the end of the year and I always take a couple of months off over Christmas/New Years. So what I'm going to do is update all my stories at the beginning of each month until I go on a break over December/January and then I'll go back to a regular schedule with two monthly updates.
Also, a few of you guys tried to help out and suggested maybe if I didn't write so many stories, I wouldn't get overwhelmed. I absolutely love that you guys are trying to help, but the amount of stories isn't the problem. My problems are outside of this little fandom world I try to bury myself in, and the thing that was making it difficult for me to enjoy posting and updating and interacting with you guys was because of a few nasty reviews that just really hit when I was feeling pretty damn shit. So, thank you! But it's okay, I manage sharing out my time on each story well, since I get inspired for different stories all the time and bounce all over the place!
Anyway, on with the story...
Betty checked the window beside the door before she opened it, and was surprised to see Jellybean standing there. The teenager did not look happy, her hair shoved underneath a ragged beanie that actually looked a hell of a lot like the one that Jughead used to wear when they were in high school. But when Jughead appeared behind Betty, a relieved smile spread across her face and she stepped around Betty to throw her arms around her brother and hold him tight against her. Betty saw Jughead wince, probably from Jellybean jolting his side which was going to be healing for the next week or so, but he didn't try to pull away or loosen her grip.
"It's okay," Jughead reassured his little sister. "It's okay."
"Yeah, well," Jellybean pulled back and punched him lightly in the arm. "Don't be an asshole and get shot next time!"
"Wasn't my fault," Jughead snapped back with a roll of his eyes. "Kind of just...Happened." Jellybean scowled at him, but she circled an arm around her waist and nudged herself under Jughead's arm. "So, are you here to give me a ride home?"
"I am," Jellybean nodded. "Your bike is getting touched up, along with dad's and Moose's." Betty knew that they were making sure to cover up any sign of the gun fight last night, so that if the police came around, there wouldn't be any sign of a scuffle. That was why Jughead had ended up here last night, instead of at a hospital.
"Alright," Jughead gave her a soft kiss on her temple and then nudged her with his hip. "I'll meet you out there in a minute, okay?" Jellybean scowled again as she looked between Jughead and Betty, and it didn't look as though she wanted to leave them alone, but Jughead gave her another nudge and so she left. Just as she was about to walk past Betty, she paused and took in a breath.
"Thanks for looking after my brother," she said grudgingly before heading out the door and toward the Mazda that was parked in the driveway, behind Betty's car.
"No problem, JB!" Betty called after the younger girl and then raised her eyebrows at Jughead. "She doesn't seem like my biggest fan." Jughead didn't seem at all surprised by the interaction, maybe a little sad, and he shrugged a shoulder.
"She's just protective," he answered. "Uh, anyway, I better get my clothes—"
"No, it's fine," Betty quickly said. "I'll get them cleaned today, and I'll get them ready for you. Although...I don't know how your shirt is going to fare."
"Yeah," Jughead made a face. "That's fine. And, uh, I'll wash these and bring them in to the garage," he waved down at the clothes that he was wearing. Betty's expression became slightly troubled at the mention of the garage and Jughead gave her a pointed look. "Hey, you already accepted the job. No take backs." Betty snorted and rolled her eyes as she looked out toward where Jellybean had turned on the car, her expression lighter. "I'll get a contract and everything sorted for you, I promise it will all be above board."
"Right," Betty gave him a tight smile, her heart beating a bit faster in her chest. She still wasn't totally sure that this was the best idea, but she tried to tell herself that she was only accepting because it was a better job than the bar. It was bullshit, but she had to at least try and tell herself that this was a good idea. "Well...Thanks," there wasn't much else for her to say.
"And thanks for this," Jughead nodded his head down at his torso and Betty forced another small smile. There was an awkward moment, as though they were trying to figure out how they should be saying goodbye, if they should hug or just part ways, and finally Jughead took a step backward, out the door. "Bye," he told her quietly before turning and walking quickly toward Jellybeans car. Betty watched them go from the doorway, not walking back inside until it had disappeared around the corner at the end of the road. The blonde took in a deep breath as she stepped back into the house and shut the door.
The tears took her by surprise, welling in her eyes and dripping down her face. She tried to take in a few deep breaths to calm herself down, but the tears kept on coming. Betty sat down on the couch, tucking her legs up underneath her and picking up one of the cushions and hugging it to her chest, burying her face and letting the tears fall.
Betty was eighteen when she found out that she was pregnant.
She didn't even realize at first that she had missed her period. She was so caught up in the fun that she was having with Jughead, sneaking out of her house with a ladder that Jughead would keep hidden at Archie's and bring out after her parents had gone to bed, and going out drinking with him, Archie, Veronica and Cheryl. The only concerns that Betty had were college applications, end of year exams and that her mum might find out about the tattoo that she had gotten in a dodgy parlour that didn't care she was under age because he did all the ink work for the Serpents.
It wasn't until she missed her second period in a row, and Veronica had been complaining about cramps while they were in class, that Betty realized that it had been a while since she had had one. When she had gone back through the calender on her phone, her eyes had widened, and she had lied to Veronica and said that she forgot she had agreed to have lunch with her mum, and had quickly left. She had driven to the other side of Riverdale, to a tiny dairy that she had never been to before, and had brought an overpriced pregnancy test, and then had driven home.
Both of her parents were at work, Chic had long moved out of home and Polly was away at University, so she had the house to herself. Which was good, because if anyone was home, they might have been asking why she was forcing herself to drink two large glasses of water. It took twenty minutes of sitting on the toilet with the taps turned on, trying to make herself pee, before she managed to it.
It only took another minute before the two lines appeared in the little window, and Betty passed out on the bathroom floor.
She kept it from Jughead—from everyone—for a week. Her friends knew that something was wrong, and Archie had even messaged Veronica and asked her to call Betty and find out what was wrong, but Betty had avoided Veronica's texts and calls. She knew that Jughead deserved to be the first one to hear, and she wasn't ready to tell him yet—wasn't ready to tell anyone.
When she had finally told him, in the office of the gym, she had started crying, sitting in the old office chair, and Jughead had been so shell shocked he hadn't been able to utter a word as he slumped against the door and crossed his arms tightly over her chest. Neither of them knew how long had passed before Jughead finally spoke.
He told her that it was okay. That it wasn't...It wasn't what either of them expected or were ready for, but he loved her. It was the first time he had ever actually said the words, and even though she had been wanting him to say them for a while, they just didn't resonate. They felt hollow. He carried on, telling her that they were smart, that they could do this if they pulled together, they would be able to get through it. She still wasn't sure what he was thinking—or even what she was thinking—whether he was thinking about not having the baby or having the baby...He was trying to make her feel better, but when he murmured that he hadn't imagined them having a kid for a few more years, Betty snapped.
She had gone off at him.
She had started ranting and screaming, saying that there was no way that they could even consider keeping this child. They were too young, they had too much in front of them, and if they kept this child, then they were going to be stuck—stuck in Riverdale and in the lives that they had right at the moment.
Jughead had looked confused, he looked as though he didn't understand, and he had asked her what was so bad about being stuck here. He had said that it was their home, it was where their friends and family lived—the people that they loved. It was where he was. What was so bad?
Betty had just kept on ranting, saying they were too young, that maybe coming back here would be okay when they were older, but they should be able to get out there and explore, and have fun. They couldn't have this baby.
She didn't realize that her decision had been made until that moment.
Jughead had been frozen, he didn't know what to say, and Betty had run from the room, ignoring his shouts as he tried to follow after her.
It was Archie's mum who Betty had told next. Mary was good at keeping secrets and she was already like a second mother to Betty. She listened as Betty stuttered through her story, and held her when she cried. Archie had come home from football practice as Betty finished, and he had sat down on the couch beside them, and wrapped his arms around both woman.
A few weeks went by, and Jughead and Betty didn't talk. It wasn't that Jughead didn't try, but Betty wouldn't talk to him. She said that their exams were coming up, and that was what she needed to focus on. Jughead said that they had bigger things than exams, but Betty hadn't known what to say, and her eyes had widened and her face had drained of colour and she pressed her fingernails into her palms so viciously that blood had started to drip down her palms, through her clenched fingers. Jughead had gripped her hands, loosening her fingers and kissing each of the marks on her palm. Betty had let out a sigh through her teeth and her face had softened for a split second.
Jughead had pressed a kiss to her lips and asked her if they could meet up tomorrow after her study group, so that they could talk.
Betty had said yes.
Two hours before school had finished, her father had had a heart attack while driving and their talk had taken the back seat. Betty spent every waking hour splitting her time between school, study group, getting a few hours of sleep at home and the hospital. He had died on the day of her final exam and Betty had miscarried a week later.
She had left town shortly after that.
Okay! I have so many recommendations, so I apologize in advance for how long this is going to be.
Songs! Back To You by Selena Gomez. Holy shit. Words can't even express how much I love this song. Like...My heart, every time...Shit. Yes. And all the fandom videos to this song on Youtube, I'm just loving all of them, they're just incredible. Then there's Somethin' We Shouldn't Do by Chad Brownlee, Bad Company by Five Finger Death Punch, Higher by The Score, Panic Attacks by Elohim and then I Said Hi, Mess Her Up and Middle of the Night by Amy Shark. I've become completely obsessed with Amy Shark. Haha. Then there's also Sober by Demi Lovato...Which does all sorts of different things to my heart now, than Back To You. After her recent relapse, I get a little teary when listening to it...
So movie/TV series wise...Alex Strangelove - It's quirky and awkward and fucking hilarious and it made me so happy. All of the characters are just so beautiful and well-written and realistic. It's a bit weird, I absolutely cringed a few times and definitely has some areas it could improve on, but if I'm being totally honest...I think it may actually be in like my top twenty movies. It just made me feel so good. My hubby loved it as well. And then there's Jane The Virgin, which we're slowly getting through. My husband is firmly Team Raphael while I'm firmly Team Michael...Now that he's back, I have high hopes. LOL. Also I've recently gotten into Reign, and I'm in love.
Also, is anyone else watching Who Is America? Holy shit. It makes me cringe to the point where I hide my face in a pillow, but it's hilarious and chilling and I recommend to all.
Anyway, let me know if you guys have any recommendations. Leave a review, let me know what you think, because your reviews mean so much to me xx