Note: The Uzumaki Fanfiction yahoo group has been created, so please join if you're a dedicated reader! The link can be found in Uzumaki's profile above. And don't forget to vote in the polls! And we need more people posting! Ask questions too, that's why it's there. ^^;
Author Notes:
HAPPY 1st B-DAY STYGIAN SOLACE!!! ^_^
Yes, it's been ONE YEAR since I started this fanfic! ^_^ I really didn't mean for this side story (yes, you read correctly, a side story) to end up being written at such an important time in the story, especially one year exactly after SS first was posted… ^^;; But well, this is where I had put it in my chapter list! It was Ch 16, Side Story, Ch 17. So, here's the side story that many of you have been waiting for, whether you realized it or not. XD
Yup! That's right! Leon and Cloud (and some others) are back. ^^; This Side Story deals with what happened to Leon and Cloud after Sora and Riku ended up on Hollow Bastion. ^^; Leon and Cloud are so difficult to write, so I sincerely hope you all continue to like my characterizations of them, even in this side story…
And be sure to review! It'll be like giving a gift to Stygian Solace on its first birthday! ^_^ Aww… Well, our gifts to you are on the Birthday Page, the link of which can be found in my profile, so be sure to look if you haven't already! Hehe.
______________________________________________________________________________
A Side Story: Solitude's Monochrome Happiness part 1
"Squall, I'm worried about them."
"Yeah, especially after what you said about Yami possibly working for her!"
Eyelids slowly came to a temporary close over tired grey-blue eyes and Leon let out a long sigh, stifling the urge to just fall asleep in his casual leaning position against the wall of what was once Cid's shop. One arm unfolding from its position across his chest, he raised his eyes to regard the two girls with an impatient stare as he gestured lightly with his hand.
"They might have simply fallen into a warp hole," he said evenly. "If they're not back by tomorrow, I'll go out and look for them."
"I'll go with you!" Yuffie exclaimed, but immediately fell silent after a critical glare from the older man. "Or maybe not," she added quickly.
"It's not likely I'll need help," he sighed. "And if Cid's ship has malfunctioned, they'll have to ride back in the other, and there isn't much space for more than three people."
Donald suddenly seemed perturbed, as though he had just realized that Leon was suggesting he was going to take their (being his and Goofy's) ship out alone. But the duck wisely said nothing. Even though he was nervous about a stranger, an amateur driver driving their gummi ship, Donald knew it was necessary. After all, their keyblade master was now missing, and someone had to go find him. It was best to get the strongest one out of them to go search for Riku, and that ultimately meant Leon.
Leon, as he stated, couldn't take anyone with him because the ship could only hold three persons, and if he did find Sora and Riku and Yami, he might have to transport them all back in the same ship. So, Leon was right. Four people in a three-person ship was going to be a tight squeeze, if it was necessary.
He did have to go alone.
And quite suddenly, Aerith gasped and turned to Cid with wide eyes, her elegant hands raised to her mouth. "You don't think they were taken straight to her, do you?" she asked in a quiet, subdued voice, as though even mentioning Maleficent would bring the sorceress' wrath upon them. "What if Yami took Riku and Sora to Hollow Bastion?"
A few minutes ago Leon had explained to them his worries about Yami working for Maleficent, and about Sora and Riku's unstable relationship at the coliseum. He failed to mention Cloud, however, because he felt that it would cause an unnecessary commotion when they already had a problem in their hands. Cloud's mention could wait; Riku and Sora were more important at the moment.
And Aerith's suggestion, about Yami taking Riku and Sora straight to Maleficent….
Leon slightly shifted his position, suddenly knowing that was what had happened.
He had left Yami in charge of driving the ship back to Traverse Town, after all. He had left Riku and Sora in Yami's care, and Yami in their care because he hadn't trusted Riku or Sora to do the job, and he had wanted Riku to watch over Sora, just in case. And Yami was most likely their enemy, after what he and Cloud had discussed back at the coliseum.
That meant Leon had practically hand-delivered the keyblade master to his enemy.
Aerith caught the subtle change in Leon's face, and she softly frowned, knowing he was hiding something. "Squall… What are we going to do? If she gets a hold of Riku… The worlds are lost."
Leon forced his eyes shut again as he sifted through his thoughts, trying to push back the overwhelming sense of guilt and dread so he could think with a clear conscience. It barely worked.
"For the time being," he said, "we have to assume the worst has happened. In this case, it is Maleficent actually getting a hold of Riku and Sora." He paused, noticing how both girls cringed at the mention of her name. "And the only thing we can do if that has happened is try to get to Hollow Bastion."
This time even Cid looked away as another familiar name was said aloud. All of them had suffered, all of them associated horrible memories with that place. But while the others thought about the heartless invasion nine years ago, Leon remembered Squall, and the times before that. He remembered the tragedy that changed his life before Hollow Bastion's downfall.
"Get to Hollow Bastion?" Cid gruffed almost angrily; he also was looking considerably grumpy because his precious gummi ship was missing. "We don't even know where the hell it fucking is."
"Wasn't that our original plan?" Yuffie asked. "I mean, to find that woman… And gather Ansem's reports to find a way to stop the heartless."
Leon nodded. "But now we can't just rely on a keyblade master to do the work for us. We have to search the worlds ourselves." He paused, noticing Aerith visibly stiffen as though she was uncomfortable with something he had just said. "What's wrong?" he asked her.
"I'm not comfortable with you running around out there alone, Squall," she said.
He promptly glared, suddenly impatient with her motherly concern and advice. It wasn't one of his usual glares, the ones that could scare even the heartless; this glare was more pointed, yet gentle, because not even he could stay mad at Aerith for long.
"I refuse to take any of you with me. This town still needs protection, and strong hands to help it rebuild."
"Then take Cid!" she said, cupping her hands in front of her. "Please, Squall."
His eyes narrowed further, silently telling her that she was stepping into deep waters. "It's Leon," he said curtly, fighting back a growl. "And Cid needs to be here to work on the gummi ships."
"Hell, what about what Cid thinks?" the old engineer cut in, and the others turned to regard him. "That's better," he huffed, raising a hand to rub the rough stubble on his chin. "I think Leon's full of shit, and you, missy," he nodded to Aerith, "need to stop babying him. I'm needed here, as he said, but I do think he needs someone to back him up."
"I'll do it!" Yuffie immediately chirped, raising one hand high into the air with a bright smile on her face.
"No," Cid bit, "you're staying here. Aerith too. We'll let Leon decide who's best for the job."
At his words, the two girls reasonably settled down, and Leon could have breathed a sigh of relief, but Goofy spoke up before he could.
"Uh-huck, what about that man at the tourney?"
There was a moment in which everyone hesitated, and then five pairs of eyes settled on Leon's introverted form, expecting an explanation or answer.
Goofy was talking about Cloud.
Leon wasn't up to explaining what exactly had happened at the coliseum, or that Cloud was alive and searching for Sephiroth. Truthfully, he wasn't even looking forward to giving the news. It wasn't just because he had a feeling Aerith and Yuffie would make too much of a big deal out of it…
Part of him feared that they would demand to see him, and when they did, they would intrude on Cloud's personal space, pushing the younger man further into isolation. They didn't know how much pain Cloud had gone through, they hadn't seen the change in Cloud's eyes like Leon had. They wouldn't understand the current Cloud, and would end up hurting not only themselves because of it, but also Cloud.
Leon didn't want that to happen. Another part of him wanted more time alone with Cloud, to talk, to clear up some of the emotional cobwebs between them. He couldn't do that with everyone else interfering.
He couldn't tell them Cloud was still alive.
Not yet.
So he gave a half-truth.
"I met some decent fighters at the coliseum," he said, trying to keep his voice normal so that they wouldn't suspect he was hiding anything. "I might be able to ask one of them to help me."
But Cid had already caught on. In a strangely serious voice for someone like himself, Cid said, "You already have someone in mind, don't ya?"
"I do," Leon said, and met the man's gaze with a meaningful frown that told Cid not to push the matter.
Cid got the point. "Alright. I trust you."
This time, Leon released his grateful sigh.
This was going to be hard.
~~~
Fwumph. Clang. Fwumph. Clang.
Steady feet shifted against sandy stone, weight skillfully distributed between legs so that both power and agility could be exploited to their fullest. Hands were wrapped in a protective layer of gauze and then gloved with thick, reliable leather, one of them adorned with a golden claw; with such a formidable weapon, a sturdy grip was essential to wielding it. Not just any person could lift a sword like this, let alone wield it so easily, so elegantly that it was almost an art.
Cloud could.
But he wasn't the type to show off.
Fwumph. Clang. Fwumph. Clang. Scrriiiiiitch --- shing!
He wasn't practicing because of an upcoming tournament, nor because he was simply bored… This practice session had the purpose of relieving stress --- the kind of stress associated with losing so easily to a rookie child opponent, and being humiliated in front of and being abandoned by his former crush. And from once again finding no clues of the whereabouts of his dark half, Sephiroth.
That, and the stress from being royally screwed over by the darkness and somehow ending up as some lunatic's puppet. That's right, he still wasn't over any of his problems. The only thing he could do was this. Practice.
With a soft growl, Cloud swung his buster sword around, spinning deftly on his heel before jerking the blade forward again, powerfully cleaving it into the same stone column he had been venting his anger on for the past half-hour. It was a steady rhythm that calmed him.
It made his life simple.
Just step, spin, swing, hit, retract, repeat.
Step. Fwumph. Clang. Retract. Repeat.
Step. Fwumph. Clang. Scriiiitch --- shing! Repeat.
Step. Spin. Swing ---
"Kid, would you cut it out?! You're driving me up the wall!"
Cloud paused, his blade dug into the column, and turned to regard Phil the satyr, who was currently standing with his stubby fists on his hips, one hoof tapping impatiently. Cloud met the goat man's scowl with a cool gaze, knowing full well he must have looked a mess with his dirty, flushed skin and sweat-drenched hair that, no matter what Cloud did, refused to stay out of his tired blue eyes. Even though he was exhausted, barely able to regulate his breathing, Cloud still managed to give a calm, emotionless stare. He didn't have to speak; Phil did it for him.
"I know you're pissed. You have reason to be, but for Zeus's sake, express it some other way! The coliseum's columns can only take so much!"
Jerking the sword out of the stone, Cloud swung the blade up and over his side, letting it come to a delicate rest on his shoulder. Not moving his hard eyes away from Cloud's face even to glance at the sword, Phil saw the unimpressed expression the blonde man gave him. If Cloud had spoken, judging from that look, he would have said, "The coliseum can only take so much? What about me?" or "You have no idea what the hell you're talking about, goat man."
But of course expressing himself in such a way would totally go against the icy mask Cloud had put up to protect himself. So he merely blinked at the satyr from over the ridge of his red mantle, remaining silent.
Phil sighed. "Look, kid. I don't know why you're still hangin' around here, after the contract and all… You're useless now, kid. Why don't you leave?"
"I'm looking for someone," Cloud replied shortly, reaching his free hand up to brush at his wet bangs. It was his standard answer to everything. He must have used that excuse about a dozen times.
"You won't find 'em here. Won't be another tournament for a while, anyway," Phil pointed out.
As though trying to make sense of Phil's words, Cloud glanced out the door of the entrance hall and into the empty courtyard and realized that Phil meant that the place was empty, and would remain that way until the next tournament drew near.
It had already been a few days since the end of the last tournament, since Leon and the others had left, and Cloud admitted that he was getting rather bored. No one to watch, nothing to practice against, only Phil to talk to.
There was still no sign of Sephiroth either, nor did he think there would be clues until the next tournament… Unless he snooped around this place, and Cloud wasn't up to such behavior especially considering who owned the coliseum, and considering the owner had already tried to kill him.
"So yeah. I have one word for you," Phil said, holding a finger up to jab at Cloud. "Go away!"
Leave?
But where would he go?
Between tournaments, Cloud had stayed here, in the coliseum, and had practiced because it had been the only thing he really could do… But back then, the heartless had still been infesting the world, so Cloud had kept himself busy by fighting them. Now that they were gone, he could only do this --- practice against walls and columns and the air.
He did want to leave, but since he had awoken from the darkness, and began to remember things, he had always been here. This was the only place he knew now.
Even under Hades's angry watch, it was the only place where he felt safe.
Or welcome.
Anywhere else, wouldn't he be seen as some abomination? A freak?
The way Squall had looked at his wing… The way he had looked at him…
He wasn't normal. He wouldn't be accepted.
Squall. No, Leon.
Just thinking that name caused his heart to beat faster. After so long without seeing a familiar face, it had to be Squall who showed up and found him. But by now he and the others were probably safe and snug in their large beds at home, or already off on some other world fighting heartless.
By now… Would Leon have told everyone that he was still alive?
Somehow he doubted it.
Maybe Leon would help him. Squall would protect him against society's hatred, wouldn't he? He had offered Cloud some hospitality, but Cloud had turned him down in order to continue searching for Sephiroth.
But now Cloud was being forced out of the coliseum, his only sanctuary, and there was no where else to go. Except Squall's side. Of course, though, Cloud had no way of contacting Squall.
Phil could have told me this before Squall had left, Cloud sighed to himself, shaking his head. Out loud he said, "I have no way off this world."
"Then I suggest you find one," Phil snorted.
Cloud vaguely considered pummeling the grouchy satyr, but the idea was as fleeting as it was useless, so he instead asked the next thing that came to his mind, hoping to delay his departure a little while longer.
"Where's Hades?"
Phil suddenly took a step back and raised both of his hands in a calming gesture. "Whoa, kid. I seriously doubt you'd want to take up another contract with him after what happened last time. You shouldn't even be here."
"I don't want to sign another contract, Phil." Cloud could have rolled his eyes, but he didn't. "Just tell me where he is."
"Not here. He was having problems with that creepy sorceress."
"Maleficent?" Cloud asked, knowing full well to whom Phil was referring. He also knew that Hades had been doing some dirty work for her, and that somehow Cloud was caught up in it.
"Ah, yeah, her," the satyr slowly said, having the decency to look off-put because of the mention of her name.
Deciding to press the matter, thinking he might learn something valuable, Cloud asked, "What is she upset about that has anything to do with Hades?"
Phil waved a hand in a dismissive gesture. "Bah! Something about that brat of hers bringing home a dangerous pet." But then, as Cloud's eyes widened in realization, Phil seemed to realize who he was talking to and what he was talking about. "Ah, I meant to say---"
But Cloud cut in, having figured it out. He knew now, after the conversation with Leon, that Yami was Maleficent's brat. And if he had gone 'home' ---
"Yami took Riku and Sora to Maleficent?!" Cloud demanded in a quiet, biting voice.
But how? Hadn't they headed back with Leon to wherever Leon now lived? Certainly that wasn't where Maleficent was, since Leon was looking for her.
Somehow the children must have gotten separated from Leon, and Yami had taken advantage of the situation. Yami, who was working for Maleficent --- or at least, that's what it seemed like. But then, why was she upset, and why did Yami do it if she wouldn't be happy with his decision?
Leon had said that Sora was close to Yami, and Sora was falling into darkness. Maybe Yami was supposed to deliver Sora to her, but couldn't without taking Riku too, because they were so close to each other. And Riku was what Leon called a 'keyblade master,' a defeater of the heartless. Maleficent was controlling the heartless. She must be upset because Yami had brought her enemy to her.
Riku was the dangerous pet Phil had just mentioned.
Only a second or two had passed during this revelation of Cloud's, and Phil was very well aware that Cloud had just fit the pieces of the puzzle together. Even though Cloud wasn't sure what most of it meant, or how it affected him or anyone else, he did know that it wasn't good.
It meant the enemy wanted Sora for something, most likely to exploit the darkness growing within him (which sounded vaguely familiar to Cloud, like it had happened before). It also meant that Leon's pet savior, the keyblade master named Riku was now in his enemy's grasp. And Riku certainly wasn't strong enough to hold his own against such a formidable opponent like Maleficent.
Did Leon know?
Did Squall know that the destroyer of their home world, their lives, now had possession of their only hope?
Huh.
But then, shouldn't Maleficent be pleased that she had Riku? She could kill him off easily and rid herself of the only thorn in her side. Unless…
Unless there was another factor Cloud was overlooking. Maybe she did want to kill Riku, but she couldn't for some reason. Like maybe something was stopping her.
Or someone.
Yami? But why would Yami want Riku alive?
And none of that still explained why Maleficent was upset with Hades about Yami wanting to protect Riku.
Cloud leveled his gaze upon Phil, blue eyes dangerously narrowed as he stepped forward, towering over the short satyr, who was suddenly looking considerably trapped. Sliding his enormous sword off his shoulder and moving it in front of himself, Cloud said in a low, even voice:
"You're going to tell me all you know."
~~~
Leon was not prepared for what he saw when he crossed through the coliseum's gates three days later after his initial plan to recruit Cloud.
He had spent the first day waiting for Riku and Sora to arrive back on Traverse Town --- they all had been hoping that maybe they were just delayed… But on the second day when it was evident the boys weren't coming back, Leon had gone out to look for them, only to return the next day empty-handed. That third day he had spent his time resting and planning for his trip back to the coliseum, thinking mostly about what he was going to say to Cloud when he saw him again. That, and how to bring back Cloud without Aerith or Yuffie or Cid noticing who he was so that Cloud could rest peacefully in Traverse Town a few days to regain his strength, and open up to Leon a little more before they went on their actual trip to find Hollow Bastion.
So, after those busy three days planning his arrival at the coliseum, Leon was startled to find what he actually found when he did get back to the coliseum. At first, when he entered the courtyard, he was grateful for the emptiness of the place.
But then a sharp cry rang out in the quiet, dry air, immediately sending him into alert mode.
One hand reaching for his gunblade, Leon hesitated in mid-step, watching as a short furry figure stumbled out of the entrance hall and fell into the sand of the courtyard. Phil the satyr. But why did the goat man look so flustered?
And suddenly a taller, more lithe figure came leaping down the steps after Phil, long red mantle swirling around him and a large sword poised for attack. Beneath the mantle, just a hint of the black skin of a wing could be seen.
Cloud.
Why the hell was he chasing Phil?
"Tell me!" Cloud was yelling as he towered over the fallen Phil, who had his stubby hands over the back of his head as though it would protect him from Cloud's wrath.
"I told you, I don't know nothing!!" Phil shot back. He was laying on his robust stomach, furry ass stuck up into the air and his legs curled under him. Or, they were.
Just as Cloud was stepping forward to nudge Phil's back with his foot, one of the satyr's legs kicked out, hard, and drove a hoof into Cloud's unprotected inner thigh.
The blonde man cried out and doubled over, knees falling into the sand, sword falling next to him as his gloved hands went to clutch at the nerve in his thigh, trying to suppress the pain.
Meanwhile Phil was scrambling back into a standing position, looking both triumphant and exasperated as he brushed sand off his fur. "Threaten me again and you'll get a swift kick where it hurts more, punk!" the satyr yelled, his knobby tail swishing madly. "Now get the hell out of here before I change my mind and decide to feed you to Cerberus!"
With that said, Phil turned and sauntered back to the entrance hall, muttering incoherent things to himself, leaving poor Cloud kneeled in the sand and biting back his cries. The man's blue eyes were squeezed shut, and his lips pulled back to reveal tightly-clenched teeth. The firm muscles in his arms were so tense from applying so much pressure to the wound that they were trembling, and his shaking limbs were very evident to Leon as the older man crossed the large courtyard to make himself known.
When Leon got closer, he realized just how simply terrible Cloud's appearance had gotten in just three days. It looked like he hadn't bathed, eaten, or even rested since the tournament had ended. His hair was dark and matted down with sweat and sand, and his skin looked no better, especially considering how pale it seemed to be under all that filth, not to mention the heavy circles beneath his eyes.
Leon paused a few feet away from Cloud, just as the younger man let out a soft "Agh," as he struggled to stand, only to fall back into his kneeling position. Cloud's wing slipped out from under his red mantle and flapped irritably as his eyebrows drew together in frustration.
No doubt he was mentally beating himself up over something, and Leon had a feeling it wasn't just because he had let Phil humiliate him.
Cloud was so involved with himself that he didn't even seem to notice that Leon was standing there.
"He hit a pressure point," Leon announced in a flat voice, and Cloud's head immediately shot up, glistening blue eyes snapping open to stare in shock at him.
"Squall…?"
But Leon merely stood there in front of him, arms crossed over his chest as he continued, "Striking the nerve of the inner thigh with great force triggers extreme pain and can cause the leg to buckle. Be glad he didn't hit anything a little higher than that."
A bitter, pained grin crossed Cloud's pallid, dirty face. He really didn't look too healthy.
"Great…" he laughed, a harsh, biting sound. "At least I know you're not a hallucination. I don't think any part of my brain has that awful sense of humor…" Once again he tried to stand, but failed and ended up landing on his bottom. "Shit…" he growled, raking his clawless hand through his filthy hair. "And I thought today couldn't get any worse…" But then he paused, slowly raising only his eyes to regard Leon with an unreadable gaze. "But you're here now, so that's good."
"I wasn't expecting to come back so soon," Leon callously admitted, still studying Cloud's pathetic, downtrodden figure.
The younger man really needed some help. And for the first time in three days, Leon was glad he had been put in this terrible situation. If Riku and Sora hadn't disappeared, Leon wouldn't have had the need to seek Cloud out, and he wouldn't have seen the blonde man like this and realized just how broken he really was.
"Why did you?" Cloud asked in a hushed, defeated whisper, blue eyes lowering to stare at his fallen buster sword.
Letting out an audible sigh, Leon lowered himself to one knee, extending a single hand in front of Cloud, face passive but his eyes hard with some indefinable emotion. "Come on," he said, and Cloud slowly raised his gaze to stare at Leon's outstretched arm.
A moment of silence passed between them, but as if by some unseen cue, Cloud slipped his clawed fingers around the hilt of his sword and with his free hand he firmly grabbed Leon's, letting himself get pulled to his shaky feet. And just for that moment, there was no bitterness, no underlying harsh feelings between them, or dark memories nibbling into their present moods. They even forgot about their facades.
A slow, almost nonexistent smile passed between them, and Leon said, "You look like shit."
"And feel like it too," Cloud managed to say through a groan as he thoughtlessly grabbed hold of Leon to support himself.
Leon forced himself to take the other man's heedless touch with indifference. It was just Cloud, and Cloud needed the help. There was no reason for him to feel weird about his personal space being so nonchalantly invaded.
"What happened?" he asked.
Cloud sighed. "I was trying to get information out of Phil. Turns out he doesn't like to be threatened."
Raising a single eyebrow, Leon asked, "Information?"
"About Hades, Maleficent and Yami…" Cloud replied, his voice lowering as he suddenly became serious. "But first tell me you came to take me away from here."
"I did." Leon's steely blue eyes narrowed as he stared at the younger man. "Why was Phil kicking you out?"
"He finally got tired of seeing me, I guess," Cloud said, motioning with his head for Leon to start walking. "That and he accidentally let slip that Maleficent was unhappy with Yami. Phil probably got scared that if I stuck around, he'd bring Hades down upon him."
Leon lowered his gaze as he slowly began heading back to the gummi ship, letting Cloud hobble next to him, using a shoulder for support. "So Yami did deliver Riku and Sora to Maleficent."
Cloud's grip on the other man's arm suddenly tightened. "It's true?"
Brow furrowing, Leon nodded solemnly. "Yeah. Their ship never made it back to Traverse Town. We were afraid that was what had happened, so I was sent out to search for Hollow Bastion."
"By yourself?" Cloud asked, slightly wincing before he continued. "I mean…"
"That's why I came here," Leon said, turning his face forward so that Cloud couldn't read his expression. "You're going to help me. But after seeing how you are, we're going back to Traverse Town so you can rest."
The grip suddenly tightened so much that Leon glanced over at Cloud to see what was wrong, and Cloud suddenly staggered ahead so that he stood in front of the other man, confusion knitting his face.
"But what about Riku and Sora?" he asked, voice slightly wavering from his effort to remain standing. "I'm not going to lay around while they're being subjected to likely torture at Hollow Bastion."
Leon's eyes suddenly hardened into a glare, and Cloud caught a glimpse of helplessness in them. He could see the other man's inner turmoil. Leon didn't want to wait around either, but there wasn't much else he could do.
"When we get back, I'll have Donald and Goofy start the search for us," Leon said, resolve in his voice. "You're a mess. You need someone to take care of you."
Cloud blinked, suddenly touched that Squall was actually concerned about him, that Squall was actually going to take care of him. But wait. That didn't sound right.
"What about Aerith?" Cloud asked, but he had a feeling he already knew the answer, so he added, "You didn't tell them about me, did you?" When Leon didn't respond, Cloud knew he was right. Drawing a little closer to the older man, he frowned, staring into Leon's eyes. "Why not?"
Leon met his gaze with a steady glare. "It would have caused them unnecessary stress," he said in a flat voice. "And they wouldn't have understood your situation. It's not time for them to know yet."
Even though he sensed more behind Leon's words, Cloud did not comment about it. "Alright," he said, and he moved as though he was going to begin walking again.
His heart almost leapt into his throat when he felt Leon's arm wrap around his waist to steady him. Sneaking a glance at the older man, Cloud saw that Leon was already fitting him with a calm gaze. Feeling trapped, Cloud merely nodded as he stared into those eyes. He didn't start walking until Leon urged him forward.
Releasing a relieved sigh, Cloud let himself be guided towards the double doors leading out of the coliseum. He was actually leaving. After nine years of darkness and an undeterminable amount of time here, Cloud was finally going to be safe. With people.
With Squall.
…this was going to be hard…
~~~
If Cloud had been impressed with the gummi ship trip or Leon's flying skills, he didn't say so, and if he had been impressed by Traverse Town, he didn't show it. Somehow they made it all the way from the gummi ship port (Cid was thankfully absent) to Leon's small home in the second district without being seen by anyone who actually knew Leon. His home, conveniently, was on the top story of a blue and beige building nestled between the second and third districts, with its entrance being in the second, and its grand-view balcony facing into third. It was just far away enough from the street so that people probably wouldn't notice the light on in the window, since Leon was supposed to be out of town and all. No one was expecting him back so soon, and he wanted to keep his presence a secret for as long as he could.
Cloud actually walked up the several flights of stairs on his own to get to Leon's home, and when they got there, Leon merely opened the door and gestured for Cloud to enter. The younger man studied Leon carefully for a moment before staggering into the warm little apartment, a bit apprehensive about the whole situation. He wasn't worried about Leon, no --- he was worried about other people discovering their arrival.
On the way to this world, Leon had explained that Traverse Town was a place where many survivors gathered, so it was easy to forget names, and new faces showed up everyday, survivors from destroyed worlds. He said that even if Cloud was discovered in Leon's home, no one was going to suspect anything directly about who Cloud was; the people were friendly and accepted anyone who wasn't an enemy. And then there was always Leon's word that Cloud was safe, if the people found out about Cloud's wing and 'demonic' powers. The people here trusted Leon with their lives, and would believe whatever he said.
That reassured Cloud a little, but then there was the whole possibility that Cid or Aerith or someone else he knew realizing that Leon was home, and then coming to visit him, and in turn finding out that Cloud was there too. Anyone could just walk right in. There didn't seem to be any locks on any of the doors, like just anyone could stroll through the door and borrow a cup or something when Leon wasn't home. And since Leon wasn't supposed to be home, Cloud thought that it was even more possible.
Leon, however, didn't seem too concerned.
Not meeting Cloud's eyes for approval or anything, Leon closed the door and motioned for Cloud to look around. "None of us have much here, but I managed to get a space of my own. I'm generally not bothered unless it's an emergency," the brunette explained as Cloud peered into the dark room.
Cloud's eyes adjusted immediately, startling him a little. But he brushed it off, thinking maybe his eyes had grown used to the dark, like another freakish side effect of his extended time in the darkness.
Even though Leon said his home wasn't much (and by Hollow Bastion standards, it wasn't much), Cloud thought he couldn't feel more welcomed. This place wasn't the hard, sandy stone of the coliseum, or the drowning darkness of his past… This place was home. There was furniture.
A couch. A bed.
Even in a tiny hovel like this, with what seemed to only be a kitchen, bedroom, den, and bathroom, Cloud hadn't felt more at home in years.
It felt like home.
But now he was such a stranger to civilization; it had been so long since he had done something as simple as sitting in a chair.
And for the first time since he had lost his memories, Cloud truly felt safe. He felt gratitude. Here he was, in Squall's home… with Squall himself. It was like something he might have dreamt about a few weeks ago, only this was real. There was no Hades or Phil, or heartless. No darkness. No Ansem or Sephiroth, or having to fight to survive.
Here he felt almost…
Happy.
"Are you okay?"
Cloud blinked at the sudden question and turned to regard Leon, realizing that the other man had already turned on the lights and set his gunblade on a rack on the wall. The brunette was now watching him with what almost seemed to be concern.
How silly. Leon showing emotion?
"I'm… fine," Cloud managed to say, surprised to find his voice hoarse and almost sad. He blinked again, trying to bring his mind back to the here and now.
Something liquid and warm slid down his cheek.
But before Cloud could even realize that it was a tear, Leon had closed the distance between them, tugging off his thick, black gloves and dropping them on a small hall table before he reached a hand up to Cloud's face. Leon slipped his palm under the younger man's bangs and let it rest on his forehead, Leon's steely blue eyes fluttering closed as he felt the skin beneath his hand. Cloud remained motionless because he was unsure of how to act or feel at the moment.
Squall was being so nice to him… He was getting his temperature checked by Squall.
"You're cold," Leon noted, removing his hand and stepping back, raising his eyes to glance at Cloud's buster sword, which was currently hooked to his back next to his wing, half under his red mantle. "You should probably get out of those clothes. Do you have enough strength to shower?"
Cloud was too exhausted to feel embarrassed about the risqué way Leon's words could have been taken. "I feel a little better," Cloud replied quietly. "I should be fine." Though, a part of him was hoping Leon would help him in the bathroom; even just the mental image of a wet Leon cheered him up, but he knew it was a silly fantasy. Leon, helping him bathe? Pfft.
"Good," Leon said, beginning to shrug off his leather jacket. "The bathroom is at the back of the bedroom, and there are clean towels already in there." He paused, turning to hang his jacket on a hook next to his gunblade; Cloud noted how clean and organized Leon seemed to be. Leon had turned back to face Cloud when he spoke again. "Warm water is to the right. I'll find something for you to eat while you wash up."
And with that said, Leon patted Cloud's shoulder and turned to leave.
He was suddenly stopped by Cloud's clawed hand catching his own as he was letting it fall back to his side. Leon froze, feeling Cloud idly stroke his palm before he slid his grasp down to instead hold Leon's wrist.
"Thanks," came the soft, quiet voice.
So much emotion in that one, heart-felt word. It sounded so sad, but grateful, so shy and withdrawn. So ashamed, but happy.
Leon felt its honesty, its sincerity, and couldn't help the small, almost unnoticeable smile that fell over his lips. He slowly turned to glance over his shoulder at the other man, grey eyes meeting blue.
"You're welcome, Cloud."
And Cloud fell in love with the man all over again, only this time it was Leon, not Squall.
When the brunette finally left, Cloud let out a long breath, realizing that there was no way in hell he was going to be able to ignore his resurfacing feelings, especially when Leon was being so damn nice. This Leon was being so different from the Leon at the coliseum. From Cloud's initial impression of him, he had thought that all humanity had been locked away in that man, but somehow, for some reason now, Cloud had managed to open it up a little.
He could see it.
Leon seemed to have a soft spot for pitiable creatures like Cloud. Even though it wasn't the most admirable way to look at his new relationship with Leon, Cloud refused to read any more into it.
He didn't want to end up hurt again.
Besides, Leon was… frigid.
Even if Cloud could bring himself to love again (if it had ever been true love at all), Leon would never feel the same, especially considering what Cloud now was. Squall hadn't had feelings for the Cloud of the past, so no doubt Leon would feel the same indifference to the Cloud of today. The freak. The abomination from the darkness.
Yes, Leon seemed to have a soft spot… But it was only pity. Pity for pitiable creatures.
Leon, ultimately, was untouchable, and did no touching for himself either.
Still, that didn't stop Cloud from dreaming. He knew it was a hopeless pursuit, and that even he would have trouble loving, but there was always lust. Desire.
And Leon was definitely something to desire.
Shit.
He needed that shower.
Forcing himself to think innocent thoughts, Cloud turned and trudged into Leon's bedroom.
He wasn't at all surprised to see how tidy and clean it was, considering how the rest of the apartment had looked from the hallway. Bed perfectly made, not a stray sock on the floor; Cloud was sure, if he opened the dresser, even underwear would be folded. Moving deeper into the bedroom, Cloud couldn't help feeling that the place just seemed so… unlived in. Even the bathroom was the epitome of perfect hygiene.
Why was Leon so clean? It wasn't like he had anyone to impress.
Cloud felt like such a outsider to this world, this perfect example of civilization. It was so weird, coming back to this type of advanced society after living so primitively for so long, even if he couldn't remember the majority of it. His body could feel it, and that's what alienated him.
A few minutes passed before Cloud realized that he had stopped in front of the shower stall and was thoughtlessly staring at it. A blink or two brought him back to the present, and he released a sigh, giving in to the inevitable.
Shower. How long had it been since he had indulged himself in a warm shower? Baths he had had at the coliseum, but a shower… He couldn't remember. At least he still knew how they worked.
First came the undressing.
Cloud could have left his buster sword in the entryway, close to Leon's gunblade, but he felt even more unsafe without it near him. He wasn't sure how long he had had it, but it had become his closest friend.
Reaching behind him, he slid the large sword out, careful not to hit anything with the blade as he twirled it around and propped it against the wall closest to him. Then was the tedious process of removing his mantle and armor, and unbuckling his many belts, which took him several long minutes, in the middle of which he stopped and unfastened his shoes and kicked them off.
By the time he had all his accessories off and was left in only his pants and shirt, he saw the grime on his removed accessories already staining the clean floor, and he felt bad about spoiling something so sterile. He would clean it up, but he had a feeling Leon would force him to sleep after he ate something.
…food sounded really good right now…
But first he had to clean up.
Stretching his wing out, Cloud grasped the front ends of his turtleneck and lifted the front of it over his head, letting it fall behind him, caught in his wing. Then, bringing his wicked appendage around, he reached for the shirt and carefully worked the ridges of the wing out of the hole. He was finally depositing the turtleneck on the floor when he heard the shuffling of footsteps in the doorway, and he turned, catching Leon standing there.
The man looked unperturbed, even with a shirtless Cloud in his bathroom. Then again, Cloud wasn't really expecting much from the older man, except maybe Leon staring at his wing. But Leon didn't even do that.
"There's nothing to eat in the kitchen, so I'm going to go buy something down the street," Leon said. "I'll be back shortly. I also thought I would tell the king's messengers to go ahead and start the search for Sora and Riku for us."
Cloud nodded stiffly and turned away, undoing his pants.
"Don't spend too much time in there," Leon added as he left. "I'll be back soon."
It turned out that Cloud didn't spend too much time actually showering. But somewhere in between thoroughly washing his hair and scrubbing the filth off his skin, he had fell into a long flow of thoughts and memories. The ones he could remember, anyway. And somewhere in between wondering about Sephiroth, Cloud's thoughts automatically went to the coliseum, and naturally thought about Squall's reentrance into his life.
From there it was all downhill.
Squall. Leon.
Cloud thought he had been safe from that man, but then Squall suddenly showed back up in his life… He didn't regret letting Squall back into his heart, no. Squall had never really left. He had just been deeply buried under all the dark cobwebs of self-pity and hate, and fear…
Cloud never really could bring himself to hate Squall. Leon. He had tried, yes, but it was so hard. When he tried, it felt like his heart was being crushed under loneliness.
Now here he was, in Leon's home, indulging himself in the fruits of civilization; at the moment it was running water. Sweet, hot running water, with enough pressure to soothe his tired muscles into subordinate relaxation.
Heh… Hate Leon?
It was almost impossible for him.
Leon just evoked so many different emotions in Cloud, so many dormant feelings, so many new wants.
Ah, and with the way Leon was being so nice… The way Leon was interacting with Cloud…
Even though Cloud was now some freak of nature and hadn't interacted with much of anything in the past nine years, and even though he was currently exhausted beyond belief, he felt something. A lot of something.
How could he not?
Cloud was naked in the home of his past and present object of lust. Alone. Leon had touched him… several times. Leon had smiled, also several times.
In the past, that probably wouldn't have been enough to bother him, but now…
Well, as recalled earlier, Leon was definitely a desirable man. That was one of the few things that hadn't changed in nine years.
And Cloud did more than just desire him. Always had. There was always that underlying emotion that Cloud refused to call love --- back then it had been because he had been too young. Now his excuse was that a freak like himself couldn't love.
But still… it remained. It was even stronger now, that taboo feeling.
Was it love?
Whatever it was, it was definitely affecting him.
Just thinking about Leon. That rare smile. Those deep eyes. His gentle touch.
Touch…
Cloud lifted his face, letting his eyes close as the warm water flowed over his face and cascaded down his lean, nude body. It felt like a blanket so soft and light that he couldn't even feel it, only its comfortable warmth. Or like the whisper of hot skin against his own…
Like Leon's skin. What Cloud would give to feel Leon's skin.
Ahh… Or for Leon to feel his skin.
If only he could feel Leon's fingertips running gracefully up the sensitive skin of his wing, or feel that man's hands kneading its fine, responsive muscles and sending throes of pleasurable shivers coursing through Cloud's body. If only he could feel Leon's warm palm skim down his chest and caress the tight muscles of his stomach, to love the sharp angles of his hips with his hot, velvety mouth.
To touch him the way he could only touch himself, where no one else had touched before…
Despite the scalding heat of the water, Cloud shuddered violently, very well aware of the way his body was suddenly reacting to his inventive imagination.
He hadn't ever felt this way.
At least, he couldn't remember…
Yes, as a blossoming teenager he had experimented with himself, but never had he felt this… There was never a need to do such a thing.
Then again, never were his fantasies so vivid, so close… And never had Squall given Cloud reason to believe Cloud had a chance. And now Leon had. There were the awkward stares, the touches, the smiles…
And Leon's body… Damn that man for still looking so damn exquisite, so gorgeous and untamed. The way his soft, jagged hair fell into his beautiful eyes and framed his neck, almost like arrows pointing downward to tease Cloud's eyes, to make him want to look. Cloud had looked too.
When Leon had taken off his jacket, Cloud had seen the way his white shirt had moved against his skin, firm muscles obviously evident under those clothes. Fuck, and those pants… They perfectly outlined Leon's shapely ass, the curve of his hips and the lines of his thighs, and what was in between them.
Ahh… Shit.
Cloud could feel it.
The pounding of his heart, the rushing of his blood and stirring of long-dormant emotions. Passions.
Desire.
Slouching forward, Cloud pressed his forehead against the cool tile, feeling the warm water stream down his arched back. Slowly one hand drifted southward, running down his smooth, wet body to gently take hold of his problem.
He winced.
Even his own touch gave an immediate reaction.
Cloud sucked in his breath, unconsciously tensing as though preparing for some unbearable pain. It didn't hurt though, not really. Ached, yes. Gently he stroked, hips rolling with his hand, and just that delicious friction caused his breath to release in a sharp, stuttering gasp. Just that one movement and he could feel the effects deep within himself.
It had been so long…
Too late to stop now, Cloud thought with a grimace, trying to keep himself from moving too fast into it. Just think Leon.
Leon.
Leon's hands, those sturdy fingers on him…
Pushing away from the tile, Cloud turned to the adjacent wall and stretched his wing outward as he leaned against it, using it to support his weight as he spread his long legs and closed his eyes again, focusing on that sharp ache. It was hard to tell where the feeling ended and where the touch began; like how tickling yourself didn't tickle, it was the same here --- pleasuring himself wouldn't be as satisfying as Leon doing it to him, but it was better than nothing. And it was too late to stop now. He would have to make do with his fantasy.
Cloud concentrated on the heat, on the wondrous friction he felt, on the same scene running over and over in his mind of Leon, him and Leon, Leon's hands, body, lips, tongue…
He pressed his head against the tile, wet hair sliding against the smooth surface, and whimpered aloud as he stroked again, falling into a soft rhythm that sent him deeper and deeper into helpless excitement and raw pleasure. His free hand slid up his own body, spreading the little rivulets of water over his hard muscles, and lovingly caressed his slick skin, slowly moving upward to his chest. Fingers skimmed over the contours there and focused in on his almost painfully hard nipples, and he suddenly sucked in a harsh breath through his teeth, releasing it as a desperate growl.
The tempo picked up, the rhythm of heat, friction and skin on skin the only elements that mattered, the only music that filled him. He squeezed, groaning aloud from the intense side effects, one foot sliding out on the slippery tile as he struggled to remain in his half-standing position against the wall, his wing painfully pressed between his back and the cold tile.
If it weren't for his shaky knees, he would have imagined the tile against his back as the tile on the floor, and that he was actually sprawled out, legs arched in the air and Leon in between them, mouth hot and wet, tongue strong and rough…
"S-Shit… Leon…!"
It was a cry breathless with carnal passion, and it came right before his legs finally succumbed to the overwhelming emotions coursing through him, and he fell to the shower floor, the cooling water sliding over his bare shoulders like cold silk.
Cloud didn't stop.
If anything, his rhythm grew more wild, untamed, like some feral demon was trying to force its way out of him. He raked his nails over himself, no longer bothering to stifle his cries as he plunged further into his pleasure, as he quickly came to the edge, teetering precariously between searing red passion and the white cushion of release.
Just as the water cascading down his body was losing all of its warmth, he squeezed and stroked a final time and let out a hoarse half-scream, half-sob, lurching forward into the wet tile as he came, only managing to catch himself with his free hand.
It took a while for the convulsions to stop, and Cloud simply remained that way doubled over with his wing stretched to the ceiling. He stared at the pure white tile in front of his face and watched the water endlessly flow into the drain as thick streams of pearly white essence followed it. Relaxing his wing and releasing himself, he slowly brought the hand up, taking a moment to stare at the substance draped over his fingers as he tried to calm his heart, the hiss of the shower and his own ragged breathing the only relevant sounds in the room.
He pressed the hand against the tile, letting it dam the flow of water so he could rinse himself off, trying to ignore the reawakening voice in his head that was scorning him for doing it. For giving in so carelessly to his emotions. For getting so damn carried away with it.
Hand clean, he painfully sat up, shifting so that his back and wing were pressed against the wall opposite the shower head and the now-freezing water was pounding mercilessly into his skin.
He sat there, wet eyelashes splayed across his cheeks and chin raised into the air, silently listening to the steady beat of the shower and drain, and feeling his tired body slowly recover from his climax.
Nine years.
His blue eyes cracked open a fraction, staring mindlessly ahead at the shower wall as though it would yield some answers.
How was he going to face Leon now?
A shiver raced through his body and he sighed, realizing he was yet again delaying the inevitable. He couldn't escape his feelings, nor would he allow himself to ignore Leon. He needed him, now that Leon was back in his life.
Pressing his hands to the floor, Cloud carefully slid his knees under himself and pushed upward, slowly climbing back to his feet. Once or twice his legs threatened to collapse, so he quickly slid his hands upward, grasping the towelette bar and pulling himself into a standing position.
Ignoring the biting water, he shut the tap off and snapped open the shower door, stepping into the cool air and looking around for a towel. As soon as he had found one and wrapped it around his waist, and was reaching for a new one to dry his hair, Cloud heard a sharp knock on the bathroom door, which he realized had not been closed earlier.
Had Leon shut it before he left? Cloud couldn't remember.
"I'm coming in," Leon announced, and Cloud did his best to look innocent as the other man opened the door and entered.
Consciously folding his wing and clutching a hand at his waist to keep his towel on, Cloud blinked at the older man, who had a bundle of clothes tucked under one arm and was calmly setting a new stack of towels on the counter, not bothering to meet Cloud's guilty eyes.
Geh, he needed to stop thinking about it… If he kept acting so weird, then Leon would suspect something.
So what if he had just masturbated while dreaming about Leon?
It wasn't like Leon knew.
"These are my clothes. You can borrow them until we get yours cleaned," Leon explained.
Forcing his voice to remain steady, Cloud softly asked, "What about my wing?"
Leon raised his head and turned, fitting the blonde man with a blank look. "What about it?"
"Well…"
Leon suddenly smirked and tossed him the bundle of clothes, which Cloud quickly caught with his free arm.
Underwear, loose black drawstring pants, socks. That was it.
Cloud had been worried about cutting a hole in one of Leon's shirts, but it seemed Leon wasn't even giving him a shirt to wear. "Oh…" Cloud remarked. "Problem solved, I guess."
"I went shopping for food, and bought some things to cook with, so I don't have to risk going out again," Leon said. "I did find Donald and Goofy, and they said they'd start the search for Sora and Riku while I took care of some important business. I didn't tell them about you being here. I didn't see anyone else either, so no one knows I'm back so soon."
Nodding, Cloud managed a meek smile. "Good…" he said, and then turned around and shook his wing out, signaling for Leon to leave.
But Leon didn't. Curious, Cloud glanced over his bare shoulder and saw that Leon was staring at him.
"What?" he asked, and Leon merely raised his grey eyes to meet his blue.
The older man had a slightly suspicious, knowing look on his face, and Cloud suddenly had a feeling that maybe Leon did know about what Cloud had just done in the shower.
"Nothing," Leon replied, and Cloud caught himself before he let a sigh of relief out.
Leon's voice had no sign of embarrassment or disgust… So that was a good sign. Then again, it sounded like Leon was implying it was his right to be able to stare at Cloud so pointedly.
Those grey eyes flickered down again, and Cloud knew Leon was definitely studying him.
"You don't have any scars."
Cloud unconsciously focused on Leon's own scar, which was currently partially covered by his brown bangs. "I don't know why," he said, uncomfortably shifting his wing. The way Leon was staring at him… It made him feel naked. Granted, he was almost there, but he shouldn't feel so awkward. Swallowing timidly, Cloud muttered, "But I do have a bruise from Phil."
And then, as though Leon had made up his mind about something, he nodded and turned to leave, saying, "Get dressed and come eat."
Cloud mentally snorted.
What had that been about?
Men don't stare at other men that way. They don't, unless they harbored feelings for one another…
And Leon didn't.
So why had he been staring? Was it Cloud's wing?
Could he sense what Cloud felt for him? Or…
Cloud's eyes suddenly widened.
Had Leon heard him in the shower?
Cloud had tried to remain quiet, but he had made noise… Obvious noise…
Did Leon know what Cloud had done in the shower? That Cloud had been fantasizing about him?
No. Stop it. Stop being so paranoid, of course he doesn't know, Cloud berated himself.
But as he watched the door close behind Leon, and he was left clutching Leon's borrowed clothes, he couldn't help feeling a sense of dread.
What the hell had he gotten himself into?
He had spent at most three hours with Leon and he had already done that… And he still had a few days with him as he recovered, and then it was just going to be the two of them searching the worlds.
Just him… and Leon. Alone. In a small ship.
Shifting his clothes to his other arm, Cloud raked a hand through his wet hair, and sighed in frustration.
Shit.
_______________________________________________________________________________
No, no! It doesn't end there! Come back in a week or so for the next part! ^^; There will be three parts total to this Side Story, and then I'll get back to the normal Stygian Solace timeline (and Riku and Sora), and get back to work on my other fanfics (that's right, it's not just SS and 180 anymore ^.~) too.
The reviews I got for my last chapter were simply phenomenal. I was so worried about what everyone was going to say, but I have to say that I was VERY pleased with your reactions. I got everything I was hoping for, so I know I'm going in the right direction. And…
THANK YOU FOR ALL THE FANART!! I love you guys! ^____^
But don't forget to review and give your regards to Stygian Solace on its first birthday! And don't forget to join the mailing list (link in profile), and look at the birthday page (link also in profile). ^^;
Thanks so much for putting up with me for a year already! XD
--Uzumaki