Hello everyone!:) I'm sad already that this story is nearly over :( I get far too attached to my projects. Anyway, this chapter is slightly darker, as was to be expected...but I promise you everything will be explained and turn out alright in the next and final chapter!:) I'd love to hear your thoughts about this,so please review!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything...sadly...I love to borrow them though! ;)
Chapter 21: To the Brink of Insanity
C.C. tumbled into her apartment, suppressing the loud sobs that had first made their way past her lips when she had stepped into the elevator. Catching sight of herself in the mirror, she bitterly mused that she looked like one of those women in a soap opera- her make-up smudged, her tear-stained face, the look of utter despair. Her reflection was simply frightful and very sobering at the same time. How had she let it come this far? She was C.C. Babcock, for heaven's sake, and since when did she allow a man to treat her like this, let alone have such an impact on her? Kicking off her heels, she walked into the kitchen and grabbed the closest bottle of whiskey she could find. She was just about to drink herself into oblivion, when something soft and furry rubbed against her ankle. She looked down to find Chester in front of her, his head cocked to the side, eyeing her suspiciously.
"What?" she asked, sliding down to the floor.
The little Pomeranian whined softly and pressed his cold nose against her hand.
"I'm fine." she said gruffly, but the dog didn't stop.
After several more minutes of nudging her, he curled up in a ball and snuggled close against her arm.
"I love you too, baby." she whispered, taking another sip of the strong alcohol, before the floods of tears took over once more.
The next morning she awoke with a start to realize that the sun was already fully up and she was, unmistakably late. Lifting her head alone caused such agony that she was willing to re-evaluate her decision of going to work that day. Though the memories of the previous night still echoed inside her in the form of a dull ache, she forced herself to be tough. Not showing up for work would signal Niles that he had won, that he had managed to wound the unbeatable Babcock. And so she walked into the bathroom, opened the bottle with the aspirin tablets and swallowed two with a little water. Then she tried to clean up the mess of her face, which took her nearly half an hour, but finally it was accomplished and she look reasonably acceptable. After a warm shower she slipped into the next best business suit and stroking Chester's little head, was out of the door.
A quick taxi ride later she arrived in front of the Sheffield residence, determined to ban all thoughts about Niles from her head. She rang the doorbell repeatedly but when no-one answered, she decided to let herself in. Fran Fine, soon to be Sheffield, was sitting on the living room sofa, talking excitedly to someone on the phone. C.C. hung up her coat, watching how the brunette's eyes lit up at the mention of her fiancé and the engagement ring and even as her chocolate eyes came to rest on her, there was no look of recognition, nor did any word of greeting pass her lips. C.C. sighed and concluded that maybe being invisible wouldn't be such a bad thing in the current situation.
With every step she took towards Maxwell's office she told herself that she could deal with everything thrown at her: Maxwell's happiness, Nanny Fine's wedding preparations, Niles' coldness- no matter what happened, all she had to do was smile and no-one would inquire further. Faking normalcy was her ticket to freedom, as long as no-one caught glimpse of her distress, no-one would feel forced to care for her. But as soon as she stepped inside the office and a pair of blue eyes found hers, she knew she couldn't handle it. Her heart leapt into her throat, she felt short of breath and sick at the same time.
"C.C., you are nearly two hours late!" Maxwell scolded her, though he didn't look very angry "But it doesn't matter, Fran and I are engaged, we were all celebrating last night…"
As he continued on and on she realized that he hadn't even noticed her sudden absence the previous night and that he was completely absorbed in his love for Fran.
"Seeing as we all drank a little too much, there's nothing to apologise for." he concluded.
Normally Niles would have made a friendly comment about her three best friends, Jim, Jack and Johnny, but today all he had to offer was: "Sir, I think you don't understand the extent of this situation. Miss Babcock is already quite the accomplished drinker, but yesterday she had to bury the hopes of a successful love-life as well."
C.C. winced, wondering if he had any idea how close to the truth this was. She hung her head, trying to hide the tears from him that were pooling in her eyes. Maxwell, once again, seemed to have missed what had happened as he cheerfully asked her to take a seat so that they could get started. She sat down on the green couch and opened her briefcase to extract several documents. When she looked up she caught Niles studying her, a pensive look in his eyes. But it was rapidly gone as he squared his shoulders and strode out of the room.
"Is there something the matter?" Maxwell asked, once the door had closed behind his butler.
C.C., who had been staring after him, shook her head and put on the biggest smile she could manage.
"Of course not, Maxwell, only a little headache."
That day they were interrupted several times by Fran who kept barging into the room to talk to Maxwell about some detail or other for the wedding. C.C. watched them for as long as she could, biting her lip to refrain from displaying any kind of emotion. The brunette was comfortably seated in Maxwell's lap, her arms flung around his neck.
"Ya know, darling, first I wanted a dress that was like Barbra's in "Hello, Dolly!" coz she's a goddess and it would be a nice tip of the hat to ya Broadway roots, but then I thought that this day should be all about me, so why just have a simple dress?" Fran rambled on.
C.C. was half tempted to mutter "Since when do you even like simple things?" but even that seemed too great an effort.
"So anyways, I saw that beautiful dress at Loehman's and it's half priced too and it's got this big train and-"
"Whatever you say, darling." Maxwell said softly, staring at his fiancée with such love it was making C.C. nauseous.
"I think I'll get a glass of water." she said quietly and when no-one seemed to pay attention, she sighed.
As she rose to her feet a number of pamphlets dropped from her knees, scattering all over the floor. She hissed a curse and crouched down to pick them up again.
"Sweety, I think ya should really ask Niles to be ya best man, he's known ya foreva, he's also my best friend." Fan continued undeterred.
Only too late did C.C.'s brain process the content of the conversation and Maxwell had already called Niles when she made it to the door. It was flung open missing her by inches, but the surprise caused her to stumble and fall. Despair began to rise to her throat, a panicked, white-hot flame that she longed to give in to. Through the curtain of blonde hair, she could see that he had kneeled down beside her.
"Are you alright?" his warm voice asked her carefully.
The concern in his deep blue eyes was nearly enough to persuade her that she had imagined the events of the previous night. She looked down again, blinking away the tears that were threatening to push their way past her lashes. She yearned to tell him that she wasn't alright, that she felt lost and lonely without him, but despite the unmistakable shake of her head, she muttered: "I'm fine." They both seemed to become acutely aware of his hand that was lightly squeezing hers, for she felt the strong desire to bury herself in his embrace and he felt his love for her once more, persistently tugging at the wall that held his heart protected. Silently pleading with him she remained where she was, until he broke their eye contact.
"Shame, I should've knocked you harder then." he finally said coldly, his eyes telling her that he'd become a stranger once more.
She yanked her hand away from him and exited the room in a rush. Despite her promise to stay off the alcohol during a work-day, she found herself pouring a generous glass of brandy which she gulped down quickly. She resented him for having made her so soft. She hated that the simple softness of his blue eyes could make her trust, that the lightness of his crooked grin could still make her feel weak in the knees. She was an independent woman who, despite her better judgment, had wasted her time on a mere servant, who clearly wasn't worth it. But C.C. knew that these were the excuses of a woman who had enjoyed a quick roll in the hay, not the thoughts of a woman whose affection ran as deeply as hers. His cold glance made her feel worthless and the cruelty of his words left behind a bitter sorrow. If this was love, then why did people even try?
"Drinking again, are we, Babcock?" his mocking tone reached her ears.
She turned around, afraid to meet his eyes.
"Miss Fine is currently discussing the bride's maids' dresses, some awful colour I'm sure. We all know what you'll be wearing," he continued, determined not to look at her "black is the obvious choice, after all, it's the appropriate colour for a funeral."
"What are you talking about?" she asked quietly.
"Maxwell doesn't want you!" he said loudly, angry at her naiveté "He never liked you!"
"Now you listen to me, Toilet Brush," C.C. yelled, having finally snapped "I don't take this from anyone, especially not a lousy servant. You better wear black too, because we both know that there will never be anyone who'd even consider loving you!"
Let this man be damned, she decided as she stormed out of the kitchen, let this entire house be damned. She was a strong, independent woman, as long as she had her job she would make it, love was only for the weak in anyway.
Niles stared silently at the glass she had slammed on the counter. It was harder than he had anticipated being cold to her. Despite everything she had done to him, he still loved her and a little voice kept asking him why she was looking so sad when she should've been happy for deceiving him successfully. His instinct told him that something wasn't right, but he still felt too sore from her betrayal to listen to it. In the following days he noticed a rapid change in her. At first she had been almost vulnerable, then she had started to work hard but had still remained quiet and then finally she had become incredibly aggressive and short-tempered- something that could also be said for his employer. Maxwell, though over the moon at the prospect of marriage, had become incredibly tense, a ticking time-bomb ready to explode. But Niles felt mostly annoyance towards his friend for bossing him around, while his concern for C.C. grew. Unlike Maxwell she didn't have a loving partner… One evening as Max had gone out with Fran to enjoy a single free evening, he had found C.C. asleep on the green loveseat, documents sprawled over her lap and on the floor. He had watched her for several minutes, had registered the sickly pale colour of her skin and the rings underneath her eyes. He felt pained to see her like this and yet he reminded himself that she was probably mourning the ultimate loss of Maxwell.
It was a chilly Monday morning in November when C.C.'s alarm went off. It was still relatively dark outside, which wasn't a surprise seeing as it was 6 in the morning. The cold breeze that drifted in from the opened window made her shiver and long for the warm cover of her bed. Instead she dragged herself into the living room to feed Chester, before she returned to the bathroom to freshen up. She felt sluggish, a common occurrence these days, and when she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror she mused that this might not only be emotional exhaustion but also physical, due to her recent weight loss. She looked weary, her blue eyes devoid of emotion and devoid of life. Tearing herself away from the face in the mirror she stepped into the shower and allowed the warm water to revive her. She didn't know how long she was showering because every time she decided that she had to go, the warmth had beckoned her to stay. It was the ring of the telephone that eventually drove her away. Throwing on her bathrobe, she walked into the living room, angry at the interruption.
"Yes?" she asked.
"C.C., do you know what time it is? Oscar York has been here fifteen minutes and you are still at home?"
Muttering a silent curse, she said: "I'm sorry, Maxwell, my alarm didn't go off."
"I don't care, just get here!"
Sighing quietly she hung up. Oscar York was the most complicated man she ever had to work with. He was a short man in his fifties, intent on making everyone's life a living hell. The thing was that he also had a lot of money and since Sheffield-Babcock was experiencing a slump, he was exactly what they needed. C.C. had told Maxwell flat out that she didn't like the man, he was arrogant and too proud of that fact that by winning the lottery he didn't have to work as a scrap metal dealer anymore. But Maxwell had begged her to behave, for their sake, because Oscar York was also under the impression that he could woo every woman, by flaunting his wealth.
Not even bothering to apply make-up, she picked out an outfit and gulped down some black coffee- breakfast was out of the question. The numbness and resignation she felt when trapped at her own apartment was replaced by anxiety and anger whenever she approached the Sheffield residence. There was always talk about marriage in the air and love was all around, but equally as strong was the level of stress. She handed the cabbie a generous tip for having driven her so quickly, before exiting the taxi. Ringing the doorbell it was Niles who answered, looking at her with concern that was normally followed by some snide remark.
"Did the villagers surround your house again?" he asked, taking her coat.
"Just leave me be." she muttered, missing the look of surprise on his face.
She swiftly walked into the office, where she was greeted by Maxwell. Oscar York was occupying her spot on the green couch, legs spread, displaying his crown jewels. C.C. cringed at the sight of such arrogance.
"I hope you won't always keep me waiting, C.C." he drawled.
"It's Miss Babcock to you." she snapped, ignoring Maxwell's warning glance.
"Oscar, I'm incredibly-"
"Not to worry, Max, I like a woman with spirit. I love taming them!"
She heard a sharp intake of breath and was surprised to find that Niles had entered the room behind her, trying his best to disguise his disgust.
"Mr. York, would you like a cup of tea?" he instead asked.
"Yes, of course!"
Niles nodded and walked over to the table to set the tray down. When he had finished pouring him a cup, he was just about to deliver it, when Oscar raised a hand.
"C.C. will bring it to me, won't you, darling? Women are at their best when submissive."
Now she could see the unmistakable signs of anger on Niles' face. She slowly walked over to take the cup from his hands and turned to Oscar York with a sparkling smile.
"Of course, darling." she said sweetly and poured the contents right where it hurt the most.
"C.C.!" Maxwell exclaimed while Oscar was busy cursing her by any means possible.
"You can forget the deal, Sheffield! And you," he said, pointing at C.C. "you will hear from me again!"
"Might I show you the door, Sir?" inquired Niles happily.
After throwing the horrible man out, Niles walked back to the office smiling triumphantly. The C.C. he knew was back, the woman who didn't take crap from anyone. He was so proud of her he even considered breaking his vow of silence. But his good mood died when he reached the office.
"I can't believe you just did that, C.C. That man was the only hope we had." Maxwell was yelling.
"Oh, we'll find another one." she muttered.
"No, C.C. we won't. I spent so much time laying out that deal…I've been working so hard for everything and now you come along and destroy it."
Niles clenched his fists, determined to give his employer a piece of his mind, after all it had been C.C. who had been slaving over work every single night.
"I warned Sara about your temper, but she wouldn't listen, she always said you were a loyal friend and the most hard-working woman she had ever met. Right now, I'm sure, she'd be severely disappointed by you. Your coldness has ,once again, cost us millions and don't believe for even one second that you'll get that money I promised you. All I asked was that you'd be nice to him, for our business, but you couldn't keep that deal."
"Maxwell, I-"
"No, I want you to leave right now, C.C." he bellowed furiously.
When she emerged from the office she looked beaten and down.
"The man had no right to talk to you like that," Niles ensured her "and I applaud your actions."
But she simply walked past him and slumped down in a corner.
"C.C., are you alright?" Niles asked worriedly, kneeling down beside her.
"Lost my job….I'm all alone…" she muttered.
"C.C., can you hear me?" he tried, stroking her cheek.
"Grandmama I'm sorry…I lost my job." she whispered, her eyes focused on something far away.
Niles immediately jumped to his feet and ran into the living room to get the phone, dialing the number of C.C.'s therapist.
"Dr. Bort, this is Niles, the Sheffield's butler. I'm afraid Miss Babcock just snapped…no…no..she doesn't even see me anymore, doesn't know who I am…she's talking to herself…You don't understand,this is all my fault! I thought she had betrayed me but-" he explained panic-stricken.
Dr. Bort promised to send someone over as soon as possible and in the meantime Niles sat down by C.C.'s side, an arm draped around her, terrified that she had been broken beyond repair.