Chapter 21

Human Being

A few months passed by rather quickly. Hermione spent a lot of her time in the library trying to find answers to impossible questions. She was constantly going out of her way to find out any information that could somehow help Harry. But even after restless nights of unending searching, Hermione found no answers that put Harry's mind at ease. There was simply not much else that anyone could do to help him out. Hermione was still trying to come to terms with the fact that she wasn't going to fight in the War. It bothered her immensely, but it put her mind at ease that now she would be able to understand exactly what Draco was going through. They still had a lot of issues to work out, but things were going far better than she anticipated.

Hermione reached across her nightstand to check the time. It was just past midnight and her headache was refusing to ease up. Climbing out of bed and reaching for her wand, Hermione let out a deep breath. She really didn't like using magic lately because the concentration was sometimes a bit too much for her when she was weak. Pointing her wand at herself, she casted a small spell which would help her fall asleep. Crawling back under her blankets, she closed her weary eyes.

"Hermione," Harry nudged her awake.

"Wh—what?" She rubbed her eyes and sat up in bed.

"Hermione, Ron and I are leaving. We're setting out to find the horcruxes."

"N—no, wait, I'm not ready, I don't have all my things," She shot up out of her bed and went running around trying to pack her bag.

"You're not coming with us," Ron stopped her.

"You guys…I—I can't fight in the War, but please let me do this…"

"So what happens if we're out and all of a sudden you collapse? We don't have the proper equipment and—" Harry started.

"I won't collapse, or faint, I've been doing so much better. I'm going to be fine, we'll all be okay, I just need to go with you. You have to take me, I've been trying so hard to prove it to you." She tried.

"We can't do this," Harry disagreed, "It will only be worse on you."

"D—don't leave me," She pleaded with her friends, "Don't leave me behind. I can't protect you, I can't help you if I'm not there with you…and it's bad enough I won't be there at the end so just…give me this, please, I'm begging you—both of you," She glanced over at Ron as if he would somehow help her out, but to her surprise, he was also against the idea.

"You'll only slow us down." Ron stated coldly.

Hermione drew in a harsh breath, and took a moment to let that sink in. She knew that this was a true fact, but it was the way that he said it that hurt her the most. He was so sudden and direct about it. Her eyes fell to the ground as her bottom lip began to quiver. But she didn't want to go through this again, she was sick of feeling helpless and hurting. So she simply nodded at the two and took a step backwards.

"You're right," She looked at Ron solely for a moment, "I will. So you two go, and be careful…and…good luck, I guess."

"Come here," Harry wrapped his arms around the girl and held her closely. He understood how hard this was for her, but he honestly felt like this was what was best for her. Ron quickly did the same and then started heading out of the room. Harry took a few moments longer as he looked over Ginny who was sleeping soundly. He walked alongside her bed and bent down to her. Giving her a small kiss on the forehead, he kept his gaze away from Hermione and then left the dormitory completely.

Hermione looked out the tall, glass window and waited as if something would happen. But as minutes passed by, she realized that this was it. That could have been the last time she saw them. Sitting back on her bed, she felt memories swarming her brain as a few tears came to her eyes. Eventually, she gave way to sleep.

Harry and Ron made their way out to the castle stairway, where they found Draco lurking nearby. Harry and Ron made their way over to the boy. Harry was sure to keep his voice low and distinguished.

"Now," Draco and Harry's eyes met for a long moment. Draco nodded his head and then paced down the hall away from the two. Harry watched the figure of the boy disappear and then him and Ron started out.

When Hermione opened her eyes, she wasn't in the dormitory. She wasn't even in her bed at home. Pushing herself upwards, she reached out for wand that was normally at her bedside, but it wasn't there. Jumping out of the bed, she got to her feet and studied her surroundings. Nothing looked familiar at all to her. Walking around quietly, she wondered if something had happened last night that she didn't remember. At this point, she half thought that someone had captured her.

Looking around at the room more carefully, she noticed it was designed in a very dark, yet sleek way. She continued to study her surroundings as she paced back and forth. There was a window to the far side of the room, where she opened up the blinds to get a view of outside. She couldn't tell exactly where she was because the window faced the back of the building she was in and there was only a forest to be seen. Hearing footsteps coming up from down the hall, Hermione's heart began to race. Looking around for something that could help her, she felt helpless.

The door creaked open and there were more footsteps to be heard. This time they continuously got closer. The figure was on the other side of a dresser, so Hermione couldn't get a good glimpse of the person. Trying to breathe as quietly as possible, she gripped tighter on the small, glass lamp she was held in her shaking hands. The footsteps got louder and more distinct, as the figure neared her side of the room. Hermione said a last prayer before shoving herself out from the left side of the dresser and bringing up the lamp to the man's face. But it was stopped as the person blocked her poor attack. Her eyes grew wide and she felt panicked, but as she looked over at the face of this person, she began laughing uncontrollably.

"Bloody Hell, Granger," Draco laughed as she took the lamp from her and placed it back on the dresser.

"I was scared," She was in a laughing fit still.

"This is the second time I've caught you attempting to protect yourself, and both times you did a very poor job of it." Draco gave a long glance to the girl in front of him who still couldn't control her laughing.

"Attempting?" She scoffed as she moved closer towards him. Her laughter was finally dying down.

"How are you feeling?" He wondered.

"I'm okay," She shrugged.

"You're hair's been growing a lot lately," He noticed aloud and he ran his hand throw the short hair that had grown out a few inches over the past months.

"Yeah, it's a good sign at least," She smiled. "I want it to be long again,"

"It will be," Draco assured her. "One day,"

"Wait—Draco, where are we?" Hermione looked around the room again. How could he distract her so bloody easily?

"A safehouse," Draco explained.

"Why are we at a safehouse?" Hermione asked, "The War hasn't started, has it?" Her eyes began to slowly widen.

"Draco! Where did you put the—" Blaise entered the doorway and then stopped.

"There's other people here?" Hermione moved towards the door, "Who's all here?"

"Sorry, I didn't realize," Blaise apologized before leaving the room and shutting the door behind him.

"There's ten of us," Draco started.

"Ten?" Hermione questioned loudly, "Draco, why did you bring me here?"

"Okay, listen, I promised your friends that whenever they told me to do so, I would take you somewhere safe. Potter felt that I needed to take you away now. So I did."

"You're kidding me, right?" She crossed her arms, "Draco, take me back!"

"I can't do that," He shook his head.

"Draco…I should be there helping people at school at least…until the War comes."

"No, you should be here." Draco told her as he leaned in and kissed her.

"W—wait," She laughed as she pulled herself out of a kiss, "Why are there other people here?"

"Because I'm not the only one who's changed my ways, Granger. There's quite a few of us, actually." Draco explained, "Come on, you can meet some new people."

Hermione got dressed before Draco hurriedly led her out of the room and down a long hall which had many rooms linked from it. He pulled her along down the stairs to a big open space where eight others were lounging around.

"Guys, this is Granger," Draco said to the group. Hermione felt the eyes falling on her and she became uncomfortable with the situation. "But I'm sure you already knew that."

"Hi, I'm Layla," A girl stood up and shook Hermione's hand.

"Hi," She softly replied.

Hermione took this moment to take in Layla's appearance. She was a very pale, tall girl. Her hair ran down her back so long that Hermione felt envious, though she was envious of most girl's hair during this time. But it was healthy and thick, yet it wasn't bushy the way Hermione's always seemed to get if she didn't use the right treatments. Layla was a few inches taller than Hermione, making her feel a bit feeble and short compared to the rest of the crowd. The girl standing before Hermione had a certain way of carrying herself. It displayed confidence, yet it wasn't a stubborn, pig headed gait as most Slytherin girl's seem to have. Her emerald eyes brightened up her auburn hair color which had a dust-like tint to it. Though Hermione felt inferior to this girl for every reason possible, she didn't feel threatened by her. Layla was obviously a kind person who had changed her mind about things long ago. It was clear that her personality was one that she was accustomed too, and not quickly transferred to the way that Theo's personality had always seemed.

"So this is the gang. That's Adrian over there to the left, Brendon's on the couch with Daren next to him. Duncan is by the fire place and that's Keegan in the corner." Layla explained, "And I'm sure you already know Blaise and Theo."

"Yes, I believe I do," Hermione nodded as she looked around at the group. "So you've all…um, changed your minds about...things?" These words uncomfortably slipped off of her tongue.

"Yeah," Layla smiled, "We've all changed quite a bit and we have to admit, a lot of it had to do with Draco."

"T—that's wonderful," These words surprised Hermione. She had no idea that there were other Slytherins who had changed. The crazy part was that Draco had known about this and never once mentioned a thing to her.

"It was nice to meet you all." Hermione turned over to Draco, "I'm going to go take a shower now."

"Alright, there's a bathroom attached to our room," Draco explained as she walked away. That's when it hit her, it was their room. They'd be sharing it for the rest of her time there (for however long that would be, anyway), and though she loved the idea of it, it scared her.

"I like her," Layla said when Hermione left the room.

"She's shy," Keegan said from across the room.

"Yeah," Draco nodded. "So what do you all want for breakfast? I don't know how to make much, but I can do my best," He made his way over to the kitchen.

"They left," Ginny whispered to the group who was eating breakfast.

"We knew they were going to," Fred looked down at his younger sister who was obviously dealing with some heartache.

"I know, I know…it's just…it's all sinking in, you know? I can't save him," Her eyes darted up to her brothers. "I can't save either of them, and I'm not there to know what's going on, and Hermione and Draco are off somewhere—who bloody knows if they're even okay."

"You're worrying about nothing," Neville put a reassuring hand on Ginny's shoulder. "Harry and Ron know what they're doing. And Draco has his ways, I'm sure they are both completely safe, somewhere far away from here."

"But what—what if he really isn't good? You were all so quick to make a deal with him, what if he took her to the Malfoy Mansion? What if he's just been using her all this time and—"

"Draco is a good person, Ginny." Luna was passing through when she heard the group talking. She grabbed her plate from the Hufflepuff table and sat down alongside her friends. "I know he has a lot of good in him. He wouldn't hurt her."

"You don't know that, Luna! You don't know anything for certain!" Ginny cried, "You act like you just know everyone so bloody well, and—and you don't, okay? You don't know if he's a good person or an evil person, you don't know that! So stop telling everyone that he's such a great guy, how would you know? It's not like you two were friends or shared some special bond that no one else could possibly understand—but that's how you make it sound! You make it sound like you just know everything, don't you?"

"Ginny—" George started.

"No!" She hollered, "I'm so sick of everyone making decisions for me and where I stand and how I feel about every little thing! This is not okay! Harry and Ron are probably lost somewhere out there and we all know they won't last long without Hermione guiding them—but guess what, she's not with them! So they'll probably die! And we are just expected to stay here and wait it out? What are we doing by just staying here? Huh? Nothing—absolutely nothing!"

"Calm down…" Fred sighed, getting irritated at his sister's dramatic exclamations.

"No! I will not! This is not okay! And I'm sick of you Luna, telling me how I am and how I am not supposed to feel about people. And you two—my so called brothers, I'm sick of you two judging me on my opinions, I have a right to them, you know! I don't need you both constantly breathing down my neck telling me what to do and how to do it! And Neville—you…just grow a backbone already!" Ginny stood up from the table, "I can't do this anymore, I didn't sign up for this."

The red head stormed down the Great Hall and then disappeared. The remaining of the group all sat silently, looking down at their food which none of them could bear to finish. Neville looked across the table to see George and Fred giving each other glances. It was as if even in silence, they could understand one another. Turning back to see Luna, he was shocked to find that she had tears forming in her eyes. He had never seen Luna cry before, but it tore him up inside. He put his arm around her and tried to calm her down. But the closer he got to her, the louder her crying got. Neville looked back over to Fred and George who were now climbing over the table to make sure she was alright.

Luna was always the strange, odd one of the group. Everyone knew who she was because she always seemed to stick out in the crowd. It wasn't just the way that she dressed or the way that she hummed while skipping down the halls. It was more of how she presented herself, the airy breaths she took when she talked to you, the stares that were beautifully original and her uncanny way of finding beauty in the most tragic of things. Everything that made Luna who she was, was simply stored in her personality that acted as a coat of armor. She always seemed invincible, unbreakable because through the hardest of times she kept a smile on her face. Though she bore hauntings of the past she somehow found the hopefulness of the future. And she longed for peace and happiness which miraculously surrounded her wherever she went. She was able to leave an impression on everyone—and literally everyone. Her wisdom for her age simply flabbergasted many including professors, friends, and even enemies. So when Luna, someone so significant and elegantly strong was forced into tears, it seemed like there was practically no hope. Because after all, Luna represented hope, beautiful, courageous hope.

"So how did the two of you fall in love?" Layla asked Hermione one early morning. They were the only two up and they were cooking breakfast. Layla was propped up on the counter, watching Hermione as she tried to scramble eggs.

"It's kind of complicated," Hermione answered as she brushed her short hair that was now turning into a bob, behind her ear. "I guess, it just sort of happened and the stars aligned."

"It's beautiful, you know…it's kind of like some modern fairy tale. Two opposites falling madly in love with each other…"

"I don't know about madly," Hermione couldn't contain the laughter that came from inside.

"Oh come on, we can all see it. He practically worships the ground you walk on." Layla stretched out her arms, "I just wish that I could find someone who even cared about me in general."

"I care about you," Hermione's head turned to the girl, "I consider you a…new friend."

"Well, thank you. But I was particularly talking about my love life," Layla sighed, "Hermione, why don't you just use your wand to cook? It's so much easier and faster."

"I don't always like using magic," Hermione shrugged, "And plus, I think it's a good idea that we all start reducing how much magic we use. I'm afraid that it will attract attention."

"I couldn't live a day without magic," Layla sighed loudly, "I wish all of this could just be over."

"I do too," Hermione nodded.

"So um, not to be personal…but I thought I overheard some of the guys talking last night and…I was just wondering if it was true…" Layla paused for a moment, half hoping that Hermione would finish her sentence. But Hermione continued to cook silently. "Do you really have cancer?"

"Yes," Hermione nodded, "I've had it for months, I actually have an appointment next weekend, but I don't know if I'll be able to make it to it."

"That's…crazy," Layla wasn't sure what else she should say. "I'm sorry to hear about that…"

"Don't be," Hermione smiled at her, "I've been doing really good lately, compared to normal, anyway. I think that it's going away."

"Can it do that?" Layla's eyes slightly widened, "Can cancer just...go away?"

Hermione looked over at the girl and stared at her. It was as if Hermione wanted to answer, but couldn't. "What's meant to be will happen."

"I'm sure you'll be fine," Layla assured her.

"Who will be fine?" Draco lazily walked into the room, still half asleep.

"Nothing," Hermione grabbed a plate from the cupboard and handed it over to him, "So hey, you never answered my question about where we are. This is a really nice place, I've just been wondering how you guys got ahold of it."

"Snape gave it to us." Layla answered before Draco could.

"Is that true?" Hermione's head tilted to see her boyfriend who still had major bedhead.

"Yeah, he wanted us to get out of all the bad things we were into as soon as possible. I met these people through Snape. We are all very different, but we all…have one thing in common. We were dealt the wrong hand and no one else would hear us out or give us a chance. But Snape is a good man and he did all of this for us." Draco clearified.

"Then why did you tell me that you weren't really sure whether Snape was on our side or not? You were so indecisive,"

"I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that he killed Dumbledore, okay? I couldn't possibly understand why he would kill someone who was honestly on his side. It didn't line up, and I didn't want you trusting him, Granger, I was afraid…"

"You were afraid of what?" Hermione interrupted him, looking more hurt than angry.

"I was afraid that he would do something bad when he found out about us." Draco sighed as he took a seat at the counter. "I was afraid that he would tell Voldemort."

"Well, I think we made our relationship very much public, Draco. I'm sure there isn't many witches or wizards at the school who doesn't know about our relationship. It was kind of a drastic change, don't you think? But it wouldn't matter if he knew anyway, Draco. Honestly, I don't think he would even care."

"You're a mudblood," Layla blurted, "I'm sorry—bad habit, I mean…you're not a pureblood, and when the Dark Lord finds out that we have all been—"

"Layla," Draco barked.

"I'm sorry, I should go, I need to wake up Keegan and the others," She scurried out of the room.

Hermione stared wildly at Draco.

"What was she going to say?" Hermione turned off the stove.

"Nothing, don't worry about it," Draco shook his head.

"Damn it, Draco! I took this stupid unbreakable vow for you, bloody tell me what's going on! I can't stand all these stupid secrets that you keep hiding from me! You want to know why I have a hard time trusting you? Because you barely tell me anything, Draco! And when you do it's so vague and then you change your mind later on down the road and tell me something completely different! It's hard to trust you because you're not completely honest with me, let alone yourself, and I need that from you, Draco! I need your honesty! I am honest with you about everything, every little thing, and I can't stand…I can't stand fighting so hard…I don't have it in me, anymore Draco. I can't keep fighting like this." She put her hand on her forehead and her knees began to shake.

"Granger," Draco caught her in his arms and took her back up to their bedroom. He went to the drawer where he kept a stack of medicine. As he pulled out a needle, he remembered the night that he stole a few packages of it from the Hospital Wing. He had to make sure that if push comes to shove, Hermione would have the medicine she needed. Draco carefully injected her with medicine that put her body at complete rest.

"Harry, I think we made a mistake." Ron sighed as he finished setting up the camp site.

"Why's that?"

"We can't do this without Hermione. She's helpful and she's knows more about everything than we do…and I…I just think that we need her." Ron sat down in front of a fire that Harry had made.

"I know, I feel like that too. But we did the right thing, you know? She'll be safer with Draco. He's going to take care of her and I know that it hurts to think about it that way, but…she's better off with him right now." Harry watched his friend carefully. "He has everything that she needs and he knows everything there is to know about her medical condition, and the hospital she goes to, he knows…everything that we don't."

"Some nights I can't sleep." Ron watched the flames, "Because I can't forgive myself that for so long…we didn't pick up that there was anything wrong with her. She had cancer for Merlin's sake, and we had no idea. I was so wrapped up in myself and what was going on. And then I was so wrapped up in the idea of being in a relationship with her that I didn't even get to enjoy the short time that we had. And I suffocated her, Harry, I bloody sucked the life out of her. I didn't give her any room or space to breathe, and she could have died and we wouldn't have known why or how it happened. I mean…what does that say about us?"

"It says that we were just too consumed with our own problems. It doesn't mean that we aren't good friends, it just means that we weren't being the best of friends. We should have been there for her, we should have known. But we didn't and that's in the past now. We have the future to worry about. We have the present to worry about. We can't change the past, Ron, so we can't dwell on it for the rest of our lives. Just because we weren't being good friends back then, doesn't meant that we won't be even better friends in the future. We will be better, because we know how it feels now to be…worse." Harry met the eyes of his friend's.

"I don't feel like a good friend." Ron sighed.

"But you're being one," Harry stated, "By telling Draco what you did back there, you know, about keeping her safe? That isn't something that was easy for you, and only a true friend would have done something like that. It shows how much you care about her."

"It just...sucks,"

"I know, but, you need to forgive yourself. We both need to forgive ourselves, because feeling sorry all the time isn't going to resolve anything. Not forgiving ourselves isn't going to kill off Voldemort, it's not going to end any of this, and it's certainly not going to magically cure Hermione's cancer. So we have to forgive ourselves, come to peace, and move on. That's what Hermione needs from us right now. She needs us to be strong, and win this and overcome the past. I promise you that that's what she'd want. And that's what she would be telling us right about now." Harry looked up at the night sky. The boys sat in silence for about another hour.

"Alright, well I'm going to call it a night," Ron suddenly stood up and went inside the tent.

"I'll be up for a while," Harry called after his friend.

Hermione woke up to the sounds of chatter amongst teenagers. Pushing herself up and out from the bed, she made her way to the bathroom, where she splashed water in her face. Feeling a restriction in her throat, Hermione began coughing. This coughing turned into a very wheezy sound and she was having a hard time getting air. She began gagging as she made her way over to the toilet, where she continued to cough and then proceeded to throw up. Apparently she was loud enough to get Draco's attention. He rushed into the bathroom, shut the door behind him and kneeled down to her. He put his hand on her back, but she tried to push him away.

"Leave!" She cried, "Please, get out!"

"Granger, I'm not going anywhere," Draco said.

"Please!" She looked over at him, with tears in her eyes, "I don't want you to see my like this, just…please leave."

And after a moment of serious debate, he decided that he would wait outside the door. It bothered him that she was uncomfortable with having him in there. But at the same time understood that she wanted her privacy. The thing that got him the most was that he figured she just didn't want him to have to see her in that condition, but it made it harder on him when he couldn't see her. He was going to be a Healer after all, it's not as though he was wigged out by these kind of things. As the noise quieted down, he heard the sink begin to run and he knew that she was done at least for now. The door slightly opened and she slipped out.

"Are you okay?" Draco questioned.

"Yeah," She pushed her hair back, "Just peachy,"

"I'm going to reschedule your appointment. You've been getting worse and maybe there is a higher dose that they can give you." Draco pulled out a card that had Hermione's appointment information on it.

"Draco, it doesn't matter if you change the date or not," Hermione whispered.

"No, I am going to, Hermione. This is…this isn't good."

"I know, but what are they going to do? Huh? Are they going to just keep increasing the dosage every time my body gets used to the amount of medication? I'll end up dead anyway," She shook her head with a laugh of disbelief, "Draco, I don't want any more medication, I really just…can't take it anymore. My body can't, my mind can't…"

"Well, you have to have something," Draco insisted.

"Go ahead, schedule my appointment sooner," She felt like she had no control over anything anway. "We can talk to the doctor and see if there is any alternative option."

"Yeah, and the alternative is dying, Granger. You can't die!"

"I'm a human being, every human being can die," Hermione shook her head.

"You don't get it, do you?" Draco hollered, "This isn't just about you anymore, Granger! This is about us, this is about me too, I should have a say, because you're mine, you're mine and I love you and you have to be here for me, because I'm nothing without you! I have absolutely nothing to live for but you, and if you're not alive, I have no reason to live. So you will get medication and you will get better, okay?"

Hermione stared at him silently. Reaching out towards him, she tried to soothe him. But he pulled away from her instead and walked to the other side of the room. He was trying to calm down, he needed to get his head straight. There was just too much going on and nothing was working out for him. He held his face in his hands as he sat down on the bed. Letting out a sigh, she leaned over him. Hermione's small hands took up his face and brought his eyes to hers. Hermione began softly kissing him as if the action would take the pain away. And to an extent, it did. It made him forget about the war, and about her condition, it made him forget about every negative thing in his life. But when the kissing was over, when she finally stopped, absolutely nothing had changed.

Nothing had changed.