Everything hurts. My thoughts are disjointed, and my head feels like it's being taken to with a jackhammer. A raspy cough escapes my throat, and immediately footsteps come hurrying over to me.

"Finnick," a familiar voice says. I force my eyes open, see Haymitch looking down at me.

But how…?

I close my eyes again, try to remember what has just happened. Then the memories start coming back in flashes. The Games. Protecting Katniss and Peeta. Mags dying. Beetee's plan. Johanna and Katniss leaving. And then everything falling apart. Katniss, her skin dark green from the medicine, standing and shooting that arrow into the force field. And then the explosion.

I tear my eyes open again. I didn't die. They rescued me.

"Finnick," repeats Haymitch. "Are you okay?"

Okay? Physically I am, as well as can be expected, anyway. But mentally? I think it's been ten years since I've been okay. He's not asking about that, though. He wants to know if I'm going to end up dead.

"Good enough," I answer. My voice is raspy. I try to clear my throat, but it doesn't accomplish anything.

"Good," says Haymitch. "Plutarch wants to catch you up before Katniss wakes up. We're predicting… problems with her, and she'll listen to you before she listens to us."

Katniss. So the Mockingjay is here. I let out a sigh of relief. But problems with her? What kind of problems?

A memory flies forward, Peeta screaming for Katniss from who knows where, his tracker still in his arm, and far, far away from us. Shit.

I close my eyes and try to force the thoughts away. We have Katniss. That's who we really need. If she cooperates, Peeta is unnecessary.

Unnecessary, maybe, but his absence hurts me more than I would like. Those stupid conversations he started with me during the Games, the way he treated Katniss, the way he treated everyone, all come back to me, and I can't help but think that if any one us deserved to be spared, it would be Peeta Mellark.

"I messed up," I say. It comes out almost like a moan.

Haymitch gives me a sad look.

"You did all you could, Finnick," he says. "Now come on. You need to know this stuff."

I take a deep breath and force myself into a sitting position, wincing as I coerce my sore muscles into action. At least I don't feel any real damage. Maybe my previous declaration that I was going to die was a little panicked.

"What exactly do I need to know?" I ask Haymitch as I shakily get to my feet. He looks away, and my heart gives a painful squeeze.

"Haymitch," I pry, wanting to get him to talk.

"Plutarch wants to tell you everything all at once," he mumbles.

"But-" I start to argue. He holds up a hand to interrupt me.

"A lot has happened since you entered the arena. It'll take time to tell you everything. Be patient."

I bite my tongue, but listen to his advice and follow him silently through the sterile halls of what I recognize as a hovercraft.

Moments later, I'm sat down in front of the Gamemaker himself. He holds out his hand for me to shake and says, "That was a wonderful performance, Finnick."

I watch his hand until it falls awkwardly by his side, and then look straight at him while I say, "Just tell me what's going on."

So he does. First, he tells me about the end of the Games. Tells me about how we got Katniss, Beetee, and me, but the Capitol scooped up Enobaria, Peeta, and Johanna.

I swallow hard when I hear Johanna's name. That's worse than Peeta. She was at the center of the rebellion. She knows everything. They're going to torture her, maybe kill her. I shake my head and keep listening.

Right now, we're headed for District Thirteen. When we get there, we'll eventually consider plans to rescue Johanna and Peeta. Enobaria stays.

Then Plutarch falls silent for a moment. I look up at him and say, "So, that tells me about the Games. What about the districts?"

I don't have to say, "What about Annie?". He knows that's what I'm asking. He just chooses not to answer directly.

"The Districts are now in full-scale rebellion, although only a fraction of them are secured. There is heavy fighting going on all across Panem, and the food problems are getting worse."

I look at him intently, my gut churning with fear. He would've just answered if he knew it was something I wanted to hear. "And District Four? What about Annie?"

Plutarch takes a deep breath.

"We aren't sure," he says finally. "Communications aren't holding up very well."

"But you don't have her," I say, my voice laced with despair.

"That doesn't mean the Capitol does, either," Plutarch says gently. I numbly shake my head. He's being stupid. Of course the Capitol has her. With my luck, she's probably dead by now. I close my eyes against the thought. No, they wouldn't do that. Instant execution isn't the Capitol's style. They'd have some fun with her first. Rape, torture, who knows what else.

I bury my face in my hands. No, no, no. I can't think like that. She may still be in District Four, hiding somewhere, scared as hell.

Plutarch, seemingly oblivious to my plight, continues speaking as if nothing has happened. He goes on to talking about what districts are doing well, which ones aren't, other things that don't matter at all in the face of what could be happening to Annie.

"Communications are down in Seven, Ten, and Twelve. But Eleven has control of transportation now, so there's at least a hope of them getting some food out."

I look up quickly.

"What about District Four? You didn't say anything about not being able to get in and out of Four. If you take me there, I'll get Annie."

"No, I'm sorry. There's no way I can get you to Four. But I've given special orders for her retrieval if possible. It's the best I can do, Finnick."

I bow my head. There's no way that anything that fool does is going to get Annie out. I doubt that they even know she's been staying with her parents. If they don't have her yet, the Capitol is going to take her. Because of me. My fault.

"Maybe I should just kill myself," I mutter. "Then at least she'll be safe."

Haymitch lets out a low growl and I jerk my head up at him in surprise.

"Don't be stupid. That's the worst thing you could do. Get her killed for sure. As long as you're alive, they'll keep her alive for bait."

Bait? I cringe at how terrible that sounds just as the door crashes open.

Normally, my instincts would kick in and I'd be on my feet, ready to take down whatever moron would enter a room like that, but at the moment I really don't care. I look up lazily and see Katniss stagger forward.

"Done knocking yourself out, sweetheart?" Haymitch asks. He's clearly annoyed, but when she stumbles he still steps up and steadies her. "So it's you and a syringe against the Capitol? See, this is why no one lets you make the plans."

I look more closely and see her holding a thin white needle. It would be humorous, if I anything could be humorous without Annie.

"Drop it," he orders. She does. Then he sets her down right next to me. Plutarch gives her food. I watch her closely, try to focus on her problems instead of mine. Does she know that there's no Peeta? I doubt it. She clearly doesn't even know where she's at. She knows nothing.

I wish I were that lucky.

"Katniss, I'm going to explain what happened. I don't want you to ask any questions until I'm through. Do you understand?" Haymitch asks, taking a seat in front of Katniss.

She nods. He tells her everything. Tells her about the plan to break us out of the Quell, about Plutarch's true identity, about all of the steps that were taken to assure that we could get out. Then he tells her where we are now, where we're headed. He finishes by saying that most of the districts are rebelling.

She stares ahead for a moment until she whispers, "You didn't tell me."

Plutarch speaks up for the first time.

"Neither you nor Peeta were told. We couldn't risk it. I was even worried you might mention my indiscretion with the watch during the Games. Of course, when I showed you this, I was merely tipping you off about the arena. As a mentor. I thought it might be a first step toward gaining your trust. I never dreamed you'd be a tribute again."

"I still don't understand why Peeta and I weren't let in on the plan," she says. I close my eyes. She's not stupid, I should know that. Although now I'm starting to wonder.

"Because once the force field blew, you'd be the first ones they'd try to capture, and the less you knew, the better."

"The first ones? Why?"

She sounds dazed. I wonder if she has a concussion. I consider mentioning that maybe they shouldn't be telling her this right now.

"For the same reason the rest of us agreed to die to keep you alive," I say, hoping to make things more simple for her. She furrows her brow.

"No, Johanna tried to kill me."

"Johanna knocked you out to cut the tracker from your arm and lead Brutus and Enobaria away from you."

"What? I don't know what you're-"

"We have to save you because you're the Mockingjay, Katniss. While you live, the revolution lives."

I can finally see the gears turning in her head, can see her put the pieces together.

Then she looks up at Haymitch with so much sadness and fear in her dark gray eyes that I look away because Katniss Everdeen doesn't show emotion, especially not emotion that reminds me so much of Annie.

"Peeta," she whispers.

"The others kept Peeta alive because if he died, we knew there'd be no keeping you in an alliance. And we couldn't risk leaving you unprotected."

That's not what she was asking, and everyone knows it.

"Where is Peeta?" she hisses.

"He was picked up by the Capitol along with Johanna and Enobaria." His eyes go to his lap.

That's when Katniss jumps. For a moment I'm too much in shock to do anything, but then I see the blood trickling down Haymitch's face, and I hurry onto my feet, pick up Katniss and try to drag her away. Haymitch is looking at her like a rabid dog, and she's acting like a rabid dog, and I'm still weak from getting shocked and I can hardly hold her back.

Then someone else comes to help me and Katniss gets tied down. They sedate her, but I can still see the pain on her face, can still see what terrible condition she's in. I sit down on the bed next to hers, wanting to do something, anything.

"Katniss. Katniss. I'm sorry," I tell her. "I wanted to go back for him and Johanna, but I couldn't move."

She doesn't answer. I keep pressing.

"It's better for him than Johanna. They'll figure out he doesn't know anything pretty fast. And they won't kill him if they think they can use him against you."

"Like bait?" she says to the ceiling. "Like how they'll use Annie for bait, Finnick?"

Her words feel like a punch to the gut, and I let out a low cry, like I'm a wounded animal. Tears are welling up in my eyes, but it's not like she can see them, not like she cares. I want to be mad at her, but why should I be? She has it just as bad, maybe worse.

"I wish she were dead," I finally say. "I wish they were all dead and we were, too. It would be best."

And it's true. Death would be easier. Peeta and Annie and all of them would go to heaven and finally get whatever peace they deserve. And for those of us who deserve eternal damnation, well, when earth is hell, hell is sure to be a kind of heaven.

Katniss doesn't disagree with me. Why should she? She's a hunter. She knows that sometimes it's better to just put an animal out of its misery.

Except I don't deserve that. Death would be too easy for me right now. I need to drag it out, to keep surviving. For me and for Annie and for Panem. Because I haven't offered everything that I have to give, not yet, and I'm not going to let myself die until Snow is dead and the Hunger Games are finished.

"Finnick. I need to talk to you," Plutarch says from the doorway a few moments later.

I jump up from the bed and hurry over to him.

"What? Is it about Annie?"

He swallows.

"I just received information from District Four. We know where she's at."

I stare at him. His tone of voice scares me.

"Where?" I can barely get the word out.

"She is currently being transported to the Capitol."

I crumple to the floor, can hardly stifle a scream. The will to live that was so strong only moments ago is gone so fast that it's almost humorous. Annie is basically as good as dead.

The cracks that have been slicing through my mind since I was fourteen get wider and wider. There's not anything I can do about it, so I let them. I sit on the floor and laugh my head off until I completely break, and by then Plutarch already has the sedative going through my veins.

A/N-

Sorry, sorry, sorry. That was really late, but I really didn't have time to finish it last weak, and then I had the state track meet and vacation right afterwards, so this is the first time I've been able to touch a computer for basically a week. So, my apologies, but it's a little bit longer so I hope that makes up for it. I'm still not sure how I'm going to start the Mockingjay half of this, so it may take over a week for my next update, but I'll try to have it up sooner than I was planning since this one took so long.

I'd also like to thank all my awesome reviewers for the great reviews. I really appreciate them, and I hope that you keep it up. Special thanks to RueofDistrict11 for pointing out the typos, and silver cat 777 for noticing the misspelled title.

~bballgirl32~