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Chapter Twentyone
Stevie sat alone in Emilys spare bedroom, she had aggreed to stay for a night to save the drive home in the dark. She layed down onto the bed, despite everything something about being there put her on edge and she couldnt quite relax, she knew she had to just get through the next day and then she could begin to get her life back on track, she lifted the mirror that was resting onto the bedside table and lifted it to stare at her reflection, she looked so pale and tierd again and she had only been back a day, she was starting to wonder if this was all a mistake, she closed her eyes running the last few months of her life through her mind, how could she move on, how could anyone move on. She felt herself drifting into an uneasy sleep. He was there, the same as every other time she closed her eyes, holding her down forcing himself on top of her, watching her cry laughing at her, knowing she was completly powerless against him and there was nothing she could do about it. She sat up in the bed as her eyes flicked open, sweat was dripping from her forehead as she glanced at the clock, was this her life now a few hours sleep, knowing all she would do would be dream about him.
She sat nervously in Emilys front room, not really sure how she was ment to feel, she glanced up at the clock another ten minutes and Smithy would be here and she would have to face him, explain why she ran out on him and that she was sorry. She glanced up as Emily walked into the room "I have to go and pick Toni up in a minute" she smiled as she placed baby Ben into his carseat. Stevie sighed "I really dont know how I let you talk me into this...". Emily interupted "Because deep down you know its the right thing to do... and you love him Stevie... he has a right to know what is going on". Stevie sighed "He is gunna hate me so much and I dunno if I can face that". Emily rested down next to her sister "He might think you are selfish and a bitch but he still loves you...". Stevie glared at her "Thanks Em". Emily smiled "What is the worst thing he can say?" she paused as she rose to her feet "Because I know what ever he says... he will still want to be with you". Stevie sighed "I hope you know what you are talking about". They both turned to the door as the door bell rang "I will let him in... are you ready?" Emily grinned. Stevie sighed "As ready as I'll ever be". Stevie moved to the huge mirror hanging on the wall and ran her hands through her hair, she straightened her clothes before turning to the door way, as she did her eyes fell on him as he watched her, she smiled slightly before making her way over and wrapping her arms round him, he held her tight as the tears began to roll down her cheeks, she could tell he was fighting back his own tears as she sobbed on his shoulder.
Stevie stood nervously in the kitchen as she waited for the kettle to boil, she glanced through at him before searching through the cupboards for some biscuits, once she had found some digestives she began to make the tea, taking a few more stolen glances at where he remained on the sofa, she tucked the biscuits under her arm before making her way back into the living room, she rested down next to him on the sofa and placed the tea on the table infront of them. She smiled slightly as she pulled the biscuits open and offered him one, he took it and thanked her. She took a deep breath as she stared at him "So erm... how is Teddy?". She noticed Smithy glance down "I gave him to Callum..." she interupted "What?". He sighed "Stevie he was your dog... it broke my heart everytime I so much as looked at him". She nodded "I shouldnt of left him with you.. I am sorry Smithy". He nodded "You gunna tell me why you ran off..." she glanced down as he continued "Is it because we slept together cause you know I would never of put any pressure on you.. if you didnt wan..." she interupted "Matt raped me". He sighed "I know Stevie but I thought we were dealing with that" she smiled at him "No Smithy... he raped me again". He stared at her, she could tell he couldnt find the words so she took a deep breath "He has a brother Smithy... they set me up.. they made me look like a liar so that he could..." she paused as she rose to her feet "Everyone thought I was mad Smithy.. and he got away with raping me twice because nobody believed me... not even you.. and I thought you would never let me down". He rose to his feet and moved towards her "I am so so sorry Stevie... I should never ever of doubted you.. and I will make it up to you.." she turned away from him and he placed his hands to her arms "Can you ever forgive me?". He pulled away as the front door opened and Toni came running in. Emily walked in and placed Ben to the floor as he slept soundly in the carseat "Toni lets go and get you changed shall we?" she smiled before glancing between Smithy and Stevie "Everything sorted?". Stevie glanced to Smithy as he stared at the floor. "I'll be upstairs if you need me.." she made her way from the room leaving the two in an awkward silence once again.
He smiled as she stared at him "Smithy.. I have never wanted to hurt you.. I didnt leave because of you.. I am trying to do what is best by you". He shook his head "By what... disapearing... you could of been dead Stevie". She smiled at him "I let Em know I was ok.." he interupted "Yeah weeks ago... then nothing Stevie.. I thought you were in love with me.. how could you treat me like that after everything I did for you". She sighed "Smithy I couldnt cope... I didnt think you would believe me and I need to be on my own sort my own problems out..". He glared at her "And you couldnt of told me that?". She shook her head "No you wouldnt of understood". He laughed "Understood?" he rose to his feet "I dont understand you at all...". She rose to her feet "I have never wanted to hurt you Smithy". He nodded "So what are you doing back?". She glanced down "I erm..." she paused, she knew she had to tell him, but she didnt want him to be even more angry. "What?" he stressed "Just come to mess my head up a bit more?". She glared at him "Im pregnant... you happy now.. I am pregnant". He took a deep breath as he placed his hand to hers "You are having a baby?". She shook her head "There is a difference between being pregnant and having a baby Smithy". He smiled "What... I dont get it?". She glanced down "Im getting rid of it..". He glared at her "What.. thats my baby too". She stared at him "Smithy if I knew one hundred percent this baby is yours I wouldnt think twice about keeping it Smithy... but it could be Matts and I couldnt..." she paused as he pulled his hand from hers and placed it over his head "If this baby is his.. I couldnt love it and that would be awful Smithy". They both rested back down onto the sofa in silence she could tell he was upset but she didnt know how to make him feel better.
About forty five minutes passed and the two were still struggling to make a conversation when Emily appeared in the door way "Smithy d'you want to stay for your tea tonight?". He smiled "You dont have to...". She interupted "I'll take that as a yes.. is it ok for Toni to come in here now?". Stevie nodded "Corse". Toni rested down between the couple and Smithy smiled at her as she grinned at him. Toni cuddled into Stevies arm "D'you want to play a game?". Smithy nodded slightly "Ok.. if you want.. what game?". Toni grinned "We played a game at school today called yes no game... you cant say yes or no?". He nodded as he smiled at Stevie "You go first then". Toni grinned at Stevie before back to Smithy "Do you like me?". He laughed "I think you are lovely...". Toni smiled "Do you like Auntie Stevie?". He stared at Stevie "I love her". Stevie bit down onto her bottom lip as she stared at him. Toni pulled from her arms and smiled "Im going to ask Mummy for a drink". Stevie smiled at Smithy as Toni made her way from the room "I love you too". He wrapped his arm round her and placed a slight kiss to her head "You wanna carry on playing this game?". She smiled "Is that a trick question?". He smiled "Ok then... I have a question.. marry me?". She stared at him "What?". He nodded "I love you and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you as happy as I possibly can.. so will you marry me?".