Chapter 20
Day 05
"Do they really break your hands for talking back?" Spencer asked.
After his rebellion he had been collected by one of the guards, shoved into the elevator, and then back out to Joanna one floor down. Now he was in with her and Paul, trying to figure out the situation. "Yeah." Paul replied. He wasn't upset, or at least he didn't show it, he was all business still. "They had one girl who did about six weeks ago. We reset the bones as best we could. I'd ask her how but she's still on morphine."
"Great."
"The only question I have is, knowing that, would you make a different choice?" Paul asked.
Spencer looked at Joanna, who was so sad and so brave. "No." He replied. "Some things are over the line. I won't help them break a prisoner, even if I am the prisoner."
Paul nodded. "I never thought of it that way. I'll go make sure we have what we need when the time comes." He stepped out.
And Spencer and Joanna were finally alone. "I'm sorry." Spencer said. "She asked me to submit to her, to get myself...I just couldn't do that. I..."
"No, sweetheart." Jo came over and pulled him close. "It's okay. I understand. I do. We're going to make this work. And if they do you will have the very best care after this, I'll see to it."
"I know. I just..." He could admit it to her. He could admit anything to her. "I'm scared."
"I know." She pulled him back to the bed and held him there. "I know."
Day 06
He could admit anything to her. Perhaps especially now that the sun was bright and warm. "Do you know why I couldn't do that for her?"
"Lots of reasons, I'm sure."
"I've never shared that with anyone before. It's just never been right somehow. I didn't want her to be the first."
"Understandable."
"I want you to be the first."
Jo was quiet a long moment. "Well, I am honored."
"I want you to be the first before tonight happens."
"Spencer..."
"I don't want them to take that from me. I've waited too long for it to be right; I don't want to lose that to an Unsub now."
"They can't take that from you. It can only be given, never taken. And this is not the time or the place to give that away."
"And there is no way you can force a man to orgasm?" He finally rolled to look at her. "I'm sorry, I'm just sitting here terrified that she's going to find some way and make it happen on a stage in front of all of them and they are all going to laugh at me. I think I could bear that but not if it was my first time. I don't think I could mentally make it through that, I really don't. I trust you and I am falling in love with you and even if we were somewhere else I'd still want you to have that. I really would."
Joanna studied his face intently for a long moment. "They're not awake yet." She said. "They've never come in here."
"I know."
She studied him again. He saw her eyes when she made her decision and butterflies lit in his stomach. "So show me."
All of a sudden he was nervous. He could feel the tingle of blood heading where it needed to go, of his erection starting, but he wasn't certain he could do this. Could he do this? In front of someone? He had with Maeve listening over the phone, but that wasn't the same, as much as he had pretended it had been. This was much more real. He slipped his hand down his shorts to where he was getting just that hard...
"Nu uh. Get on your knees and show me properly."
Was it nerves or was it desire? So hard to tell now. He obediently got to his knees, there in the warmth of the sun, and took himself in hand again. Yes, it felt good. The human body is made to feel good, he'd been doing this since he was thirteen, like most other men. He had just never shown anyone before.
He felt more than he heard her kneel on the bed in front of him. "I want to see." She said. She reached out and snagged the waist of the shorts he was wearing, dragging them down until he popped free. Then she grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it up and over his head, tucking it behind his neck. And now she could see everything.
She very deliberately brushed her fingers over his chest, and he caught the scent of her perfume on her handkerchief, so warm from her body, and in that moment he dropped back into the state he'd been in before.
Time seemed to stop then. Everything was this moment, this heady feeling of present and real. The pulses of sensation sweeping over him, not only from his own hand but from every time she softly stroked his body. His shoulder, his jaw, his nipple which brought a whimper, the side of his neck which brought a groan, the most tender on his thigh which made him aware of the pleading noises he was making. Oh, he didn't want this to end, he didn't want this moment to end but he was so close.
So very close
She pressed closer, still not touching him there, and he felt the warmth of her breath on the side of his neck, the gentle brush of her lips on his jaw. Her kiss melted him. God. "Look at me." She said.
She commanded.
He opened his eyes.
She was so glorious in the sun.
He was going to
He was
With a groan that came from the depths Spencer let go.
Wave after wave of pleasure took him then. He was only dimly aware that he was shaking, only dimly aware of his own heat hitting the muscles of his abdomen. All he knew was sun and beauty and the thunder of his own heartbeat.
Bless his memory for he would never forget.
He fell forward into her arms, gasping for air. Somewhere in there he forgot to breathe. He was still shaking from the force of it. Even the sun was a physical touch that just made it go on and on and on...
Joanna cradled him close, her hair a curtain of amber silk in the light. "You are the most beautiful thing on the planet." She said. "I am very honored and grateful that you shared that with me." Then she pulled him down to the bed with her.
"I'm glad I did too." Oh you could talk in this state. He just wanted to lie her and bask in it and in her arms. "I'm glad we did this now."
"So am I." She replied. "I'm not going to let you go now. I love you."
And there it was. There it was, real and true. "I love you too." He said to her.
"You..." She gently touched the hollow of his throat. "...are mine." She laid a hand over her heart.
Spencer smiled. "I am." He said. "Always."
She bent and very lightly kissed his neck, bringing another groan of pleasure, a second, smaller spasm. Oh heavens, this could just keep going. He never wanted this moment to end.
There was a knock at the door.