Full of shame, Thundercracker onlines his optics and just stares at the wall, watching the running solvent slowly wash away any trace of his arousal.
He is so pathetic.
Stepping out of the stall, he slowly cleans his frame of the solvent still sticking to it before he turns to look at the door.
He is reluctant to return to the berth and Starscream, and unreasonable fear for entering recharge fills him.
What if the dream returns?
He can´t handle living through what he did to Skywarp again, even if it all is inside his processor.
It is disturbing that he even can feel arousal at the thought.
Grimacing he stares at his own reflection in the blank surface of the walls.
"Worthless! Despicable! Unworthy! That is what you are. " He tells his reflection before he steels himself and walks through the door and into Starscreams main room.
Looking at the recharging frame of the Air Commander, his spark sinks in its chamber.
Why is his superior even looking his way? Starscream can pick and choose among the flier ranks. He can easily find someone more worthy to become the Air Commanders trinemate instead of a weak pathetic lovesick seeker as Thundercracker.
Feeling the stinging sensation of tears pressing to be released from behind his optics, he stubbornly forces them back.
With slumping wings he makes his decision.
He isn't going to stay.
He won't be able to recharge anyway.
Keying the door open, he glances one last time at the silent frame on the berth before he steps out into the corridor and the door closes behind him.
Starscream onlines his optics at the silent clicks signaling the lock on the door engaging.
When Thundercracker leaves the base to fly and drive away the demons haunting him, he is unaware of the Air Commander silently following him at a distance.