TV Guide capsule for Saturday, April 3, 1993:
9 PM Who's the Boss?—Comedy
Everyone starts to adjust to the reshuffling of living arrangements.
Scene I: The Bower-Micelli kitchen, early on a Friday evening
(Bonnie is cooking dinner. Jonathan enters through the swinging door.)
JONATHAN: Um, hi.
BONNIE: (turning to look at him) Hi.
JONATHAN: Um, so tomorrow's the big move, right?
BONNIE: Right. We could've moved yesterday, on the 1st, but that was a Thursday.
JONATHAN: And April Fool's Day.
BONNIE: Right. Not a good omen. And everyone agreed that we might as well wait for the weekend.
JONATHAN: Makes sense. So, um, how do you feel about the move?
BONNIE: Well, I thought it was a little crazy when Ernie first suggested it, but I like the two houses equally. I am a little confused about how I'm going to keep house for people who've mostly moved out, but we'll just see how it goes.
JONATHAN: Yeah. (pause) And, um. (whispering in case anyone might overhear) Us? What does this to us?
BONNIE: Which us?
JONATHAN: You and me us.
BONNIE: Oh. Right.
JONATHAN: I mean, we'll be living under the same roof.
BONNIE: Well, yeah, but I'll be upstairs with my housemates, and you'll be downstairs. And we won't really be seeing each other much more than we do now.
JONATHAN: I guess. But it will still be weird.
BONNIE: Maybe we should— (Al enters from outside, with a measuring tape. Jonathan and Bonnie have drifted closer together as they talked, and now they put more space between them. Also, she goes back to cooking.)
AL: Ay, how's it goin'?
JONATHAN: Good. How are you?
AL: Can't complain.
JONATHAN: Uh, what's the measuring tape for?
AL: I'm gettin' Tony's room, right? Well, I gotta get an idea of how it compares to my room at the Harpers'.
JONATHAN: Oh. Uh, which room will be yours, Bonnie?
BONNIE: Your old room. It made most sense to give Angela and Tony's room to Sam and Hank, since it's the biggest.
JONATHAN: Right.
AL: (oblivious to the undercurrents) Well, see ya later. (He exits through the swinging door.)
Scene II: The Bower-Micelli living room, a moment later
(Tony is sitting on the couch, grading homework. Al enters through the swinging door.)
AL: Ay, how's it goin'?
TONY: Not bad. You?
AL: Can't complain.
TONY: Uh, what's the measuring tape for?
AL: Gonna check out your room before I move in.
TONY: (as it sinks in) Oh. (Al heads upstairs. Tony looks lost in thought. Then Angela, very obviously now in the ninth month of pregnancy, enters the front door, coming home from work. Tony as always leaps up to greet her, although he's gentler with her now because of her condition.) Hey, Baby, how are you?
ANGELA: Tired, achy, hungry.
TONY: Well, Bonnie's making dinner. And after dinner, I'll give you a nice bath and massage.
ANGELA: Oh, Tony, you are the sweetest husband in the world!
TONY: Well, I've got the best wife in the world, so why not? (They kiss.) But you do need to cut back on work, like we talked about, remember?
ANGELA: I have been. And I'll work from home next week.
TONY: Good. And I don't want you to lift a finger during the move tomorrow.
ANGELA: Oh, God, the move! Why does that have to be so soon?
TONY: Well, it'd be tougher after the babies are born, right?
ANGELA: (sighing) Right.
TONY: (with his arm around her) Come on, let's get you onto the couch and I'll massage your feet before dinner.
AL: (coming back downstairs) I hope you wash your hands before you eat. (They both look annoyed.)
ANGELA: On the other hand, it'll be nice to have a place of our own. (Tony nods. Roll opening credits.)
Scene III: Various locations on Saturday morning
(A montage of the assorted households and individuals moving in and out, set to the chorus of Billy Joel's "Movin' Out." Chaos as people collide and drop things and argue. Angela tries to watch quietly but we can see she wants to organize things.)
Scene IV: The Micelli-Bower kitchen, now with new occupants, lunchtime
(Sam, Hank, Al, Bonnie, and Jonathan are sitting around the table, eating pizza out of the box.)
AL: Ay, this reminds me of Valentine's Weekend. (They all look at him, Sam and Hank puzzled, Jonathan and Bonnie worried.)
SAM: Valentine's Weekend?
AL: Uh, yeah, when I went to Brooklyn. I ate a lot of pizza.
SAM: Oh. Yeah, I miss Brooklyn pizza sometimes. Connecticut pizza just isn't the same.
BONNIE: (eager to keep the topic off Valentine's Weekend) Which do you like best? The kind you get from a restaurant or home-made?
SAM: Well, the best pizza is probably Mrs. Rossini's.
BONNIE: Maybe I could get the recipe from her.
SAM: (shaking her head) Even Dad can't recapture that magic.
BONNIE: Oh.
HANK: (suggestively) Speaking of recapturing magic, Sam.
SAM: Oh, right. Uh, excuse us. We need to, um, unpack.
AL: Great, here we go again.
SAM: Excuse me?
AL: Well, I figured when Ernie suggested this move, me and Bonnie wouldn't have to sleep on the same floor with youse guys anymore.
HANK: Al, I thought that you understood that Sam and I would be getting Tony and Angela's room.
AL: I got confused by the slide show.
BONNIE: It was pretty dazzling.
AL: Hey, why can't I take Billy's old room and then Jonathan can have his old room? And then Bonnie can move into Tony's room.
BONNIE: Why should you live downstairs while I'm stuck up there with them?
JONATHAN: Hey, wait a minute, I've lived here longer than any of you! Shouldn't I have some say about who gets my bedrooms?
AL: Geez, how selfish can you get?
SAM: OK, since no one wants to be on the same floor with me and Hank, why don't we move down to Billy's old room?
HANK: But, Sam, Tony and Angela's room has the picture window and the fireplace! And its own bathroom with a tub!
SAM: Yeah, but we'll have more privacy downstairs. All that room is next to is Angela's study, and she's only in there when she's working from home.
HANK: True. And the beaded curtain Tony hung up in the downstairs bedroom is a cool retro touch.
JONATHAN: Wait a minute, if you're moving into my new room, where am I going?
SAM: To your old room of course. Then Al can still have Dad's room. And I guess Bonnie gets Dad and Angela's room.
AL: You lost me.
SAM: You want a slide show?
AL: No thanks. But wait a minute, why does Bonnie get the nice big room with the fireplace and everything?
SAM: Because Bonnie is my best friend.
BONNIE: (realizing what moving Jonathan upstairs might mean) Um, thanks, Sam.
HANK: Well, maybe Jonathan should have it. After all, it was his mother's bedroom all those years. And he's right, he did grow up here.
JONATHAN: No, let Bonnie have it. I'm fine with my old room. And it's chivalrous for the girl to get the nicest room.
AL: If you say so.
Scene V: Various parts of the house, after lunch
(A montage of Sam and Hank moving downstairs, trying not to collide with Jonathan moving from downstairs, and then Bonnie moving out of Jonathan's old room and into Angela's old room, while trying not to collide with Jonathan moving back to his old room, while Al stands in Tony's doorway and apparently makes unhelpful suggestions.)
Scene VI: The living room of Mona's former apartment, now Tony and Angela's
(Tony is unpacking and putting things away, while Angela sits on the couch with a list, crossing things off.)
TONY: Isn't this fun?
ANGELA: Fun?
TONY: Yeah, well, you probably didn't have this with Michael, but this reminds me of starting out with Marie. Not that our little apartment on Pitkin Avenue was as nice as this.
ANGELA: Mother did do a good job with the decorating all those years ago. And Sam and Hank fortunately didn't change it much.
TONY: Yeah. It's classy but cozy. (Coming over to the couch.) And just think, Angela, in two or three weeks, it'll be you and me and our babies. (He sits down and they snuggle up.)
ANGELA: That does sound nice. I mean, I love our larger family of course, but it'll be good to focus on just you and me and the twins. (They kiss tenderly, and he strokes her stomach.)
TONY: Yeah, we'll be removed one step from all the craziness, but close enough to keep an eye on things.
ANGELA: Yes.
TONY: Do you think they're doin' OK over there?
ANGELA: Tony! It's only been a couple hours since we left!
TONY: I know, but maybe they need more help with the moving.
ANGELA: They'll be fine. There are five of them.
TONY: Good point. Five young people with no back trouble.
ANGELA: Yes. How's your back by the way?
TONY: It's OK. I might soak in the hot tub later.
ANGELA: (wistfully) I wish I could join you.
TONY: Well, in another month or so, you can.
ANGELA: Yes. And then a few weeks after that, we can, you know.
TONY: Yeah. I'm gonna miss you.
ANGELA: I'll miss you, too. (She sighs.)
TONY: Well, you know, there are other things we can do.
ANGELA: (smiling) I like the other things, too.
TONY: (smiling back) Me, too.
ANGELA: (shaking her head) You know, I never had this conversation with Michael. After Jonathan was born, Michael was off shooting zebras in Botswana.
TONY: That's awful! Aren't they endangered?
ANGELA: (laughing) Filming the zebras.
TONY: Oh, that's better. Although still pretty rotten. I mean, you'd just had a kid and he was gone and— (He frowns.)
ANGELA: What's wrong?
TONY: I did the same thing to Marie and Sam. Well, not with zebras. With cubs.
ANGELA: As in Chicago?
TONY: Yeah. There was a big game a week later. Marie encouraged me to go, and I went.
ANGELA: Tony, that's not the same thing. You weren't gone for months at a time like Michael was.
TONY: Yeah, but I still missed out on a lot of moments.
ANGELA: Well, you've been a very devoted father to Sam, and Jonathan, for years.
TONY: Well, thank you. But I've been thinkin', Angela. Maybe I should stay home with the twins, full time. At least while they're babies.
ANGELA: But you're still getting your teaching career going!
TONY: Think about it, Angela. It's not any different than all those female teachers who take time off to raise kids.
ANGELA: Well, no, but I've been thinking. Maybe I should stay home with the babies, at least the first year or two.
TONY: But what about your agency?
ANGELA: With modern technology, I can stay in touch much more easily than I could seventeen years ago with Jonathan. I could work from home a few hours a week. And maybe you, or someone else, could look after the babies if I have to go into the City for a meeting that can't be handled remotely.
TONY: Yeah, I guess. But wait a minute! Are we both staying home with the babies?
ANGELA: We could. I mean, we have savings. And Sam and the others are paying us a nominal rent.
TONY: Yeah, well, we gave them a family discount.
ANGELA: And two babies might be twice as much work.
TONY: Yeah. And that would be great to share all their little moments together, not have to wait till the end of the day to tell the other one, or bother them at work. Or both of us hear about it from the babysitter.
ANGELA: Exactly. I know this wouldn't work for every couple, but it might work for us.
TONY: Well, it's not like we've ever done anything the way a normal couple does. (She laughs and then they kiss.) Let's see how the rest of the school year goes. I'll take off what time I can, even though Fairfield High doesn't have a "paternity leave."
ANGELA: OK. And then there'll be the summer, and we'll both work as little as possible, and then figure where we'll go after that.
TONY: Yeah, we might end up getting on each other's nerves, both being home all day.
ANGELA: We might. To be honest, I am a little nervous about living alone with you.
TONY: Nervous?
ANGELA: Well, for almost nine years, we've had the buffers of Mother, Samantha, Jonathan, and all the people who drop by.
TONY: Well, this isn't exactly a desert island.
ANGELA: No, but we will have more uninterrupted moments. At least till the babies are born.
TONY: I thought that was the idea.
ANGELA: It was. It is. But doesn't it feel strange being alone together now, knowing no one can just walk in?
TONY: I think it feels great.
ANGELA: Oh, sure, now it does. We're still in the "playing house" phase. But what about when it's you, me, and two screaming infants?
TONY: You're so sentimental. That's why I love you. (She laughs.)
ANGELA: OK, I'm sorry.
TONY: No, I know what you mean. Marie and I would sometimes get on each other's nerves. Not like you and Michael apparently. But we had a few arguments. But, see, Italians think of that as healthy.
ANGELA: And WASPS think of that as irreconcilable differences.
TONY: Well, don't tell Father Marconi this, but I think sometimes there's a good reason to get divorced. You and Michael weren't right for each other. You and I are.
ANGELA: (smiling) We are, aren't we?
TONY: You bet we are! And we'll get through the rough spots, like we always have. (She nods and then they kiss.)
ANGELA: Do you think Mother's doing all right?
TONY: An-gel-a! One, she's only next door, and two, she and Richard were smart enough to hire professional movers who'll even do the unpacking and putting things away.
ANGELA: True. She was afraid of damaging her manicure.
TONY: Mona will always be OK. And she's got someone new to look after her, so you can let go a little.
ANGELA: I'll try. But I think I'm going to suffer empty-nest syndrome even more over her than over Jonathan.
TONY: I know, Baby, I know. But right now I think it's time for you to let me to take care of you. (They give each other The Look, more than ever filled with lust and tenderness and love. Cut to commercial.)
Scene VII: The upstairs hallway, that night
(No one is around and then Jonathan, dressed in a robe and pajamas, exits his old room, looking around to see if the coast is clear. He goes to his mother's old bedroom and knocks quietly.)
JONATHAN: (whispering) Bonnie, are you awake?
BONNIE: (offscreen whispering back) Jonathan, is that you?
JONATHAN: Uh, yeah, who else?
BONNIE: Wait a moment. (Pause and then she opens the door. She's wearing a long sleepshirt with Garfield on it.) What's up?
JONATHAN: Well, I just wanted to make sure you were settling in all right.
BONNIE: Oh, yes, it's a great room! Especially with the remodeling that Hank's father and his crew did.
JONATHAN: Yeah.
BONNIE: I made a few little changes. Do you want to see?
JONATHAN: Uh, maybe I'd better not.
BONNIE: Jonathan, we agreed nothing's going to happen, even with us living in the same house.
JONATHAN: I know. And I wouldn't want it to happen in there anyway.
BONNIE: Why not? It's a very romantic bedroom.
JONATHAN: Uh, yeah. But it's my mom's bedroom. She was with Tony in there. Not to mention my dad.
BONNIE: Oh, right. That would be a little weird for you.
JONATHAN: I don't see why it wasn't weird for Sam when she and Hank were going to be in there.
BONNIE: Well, maybe it was and she just didn't want to say anything. After all, she's the one who suggested moving into your room. I mean your downstairs room.
JONATHAN: Right. And now I'm up here. On the same floor with you.
BONNIE: Well, your mom and Tony managed to live platonically, well, mostly platonically, on this floor with each other for seven or eight years. I think we can manage the four or five months till you go off to college.
JONATHAN: Yeah, but it's different with us because we're— (Al exits from Tony's room, wearing an undershirt and sweatpants.)
BONNIE: Oh, um, hi, Al. Did we wake you?
AL: Nah, I didn't even know you were whispering till I woke up. You don't gotta whisper.
JONATHAN: OK. Um, so what did wake you up?
AL: Hunger. I'm gonna raid the fridge. You want anythin'?
JONATHAN: No, I'm good.
BONNIE: Nothing for me.
AL: OK. (He looks at them, wondering what they're up to, but deciding that food is more important. He heads downstairs. They wait till his footsteps fade before they resume their whispers.)
BONNIE: You see, Jonathan? It's not as if we're alone up here.
JONATHAN: Well, Al isn't much of a chaperone.
BONNIE: No, but even if you wanted to spend the night in my room—
JONATHAN: I'd rather you spent it in mine.
BONNIE: Jonathan!
JONATHAN: I mean if we were going to spend the night together.
BONNIE: Well, we're not. Not before you're 18. But even if we did, we'd have to worry about Al catching us.
JONATHAN: What if Al was out all night? Like on a date, or visiting Brooklyn or something?
BONNIE: Then we would go downstairs and watch a movie or something.
JONATHAN: Could we cuddle on the couch?
BONNIE: Jonathan!
JONATHAN: You wouldn't be arrested for snuggling jailbait.
BONNIE: No, but then Sam or Hank or anyone could walk in on us in the living room.
JONATHAN: So what exactly are you comfortable with?
BONNIE: Now that we're living together and the situation has changed?
JONATHAN: Yeah, like could I sneak a kiss while Al is downstairs in the kitchen?
BONNIE: Well, I suppose that would be all right. (They kiss, tentatively at first, as if they're sure Al will come back at any minute. Then they throw themselves into it.)
Scene VIII: The bedroom of Tony and Angela's new apartment, meanwhile
(Tony is apparently asleep, but Angela isn't. She glances at him and then carefully slips out of bed. She puts on her robe and her shoes.)
TONY: (opening his eyes) Going somewhere?
ANGELA: Tony, you startled me!
TONY: Yeah, well, you surprised me. You don't usually put on your outdoor shoes for a midnight snack.
ANGELA: OK, you caught me. I want to work on the Anderson account for a couple hours, and I work best in my study in the main house.
TONY: It can't wait till morning?
ANGELA: Well, also I'm having trouble sleeping.
TONY: Because of the babies or because of the new bedroom?
ANGELA: A little of both.
TONY: Well, how about I go over there with you?
ANGELA: Tony, I'll be perfectly safe crossing the driveway.
TONY: I know. But I, well, I miss my kitchen!
ANGELA: Oh, Sweetheart!
TONY: I missed it when I was in Iowa, but I accepted that I couldn't get at it. Now it's just across the driveway, tantalizing me!
ANGELA: Oh, that's exactly how I feel about my study!
TONY: How about I make you a light meal while you're working?
ANGELA: That's very sweet of you. Of course, we'll have to be very quiet, so we don't wake the kids.
TONY: Well, it is still our house, we have the right to be there.
ANGELA: Yes, but I don't think most landlords drop in without notice like this, especially so late.
TONY: Well, we just won't make a habit of it.
ANGELA: I won't have the energy once the babies are born. (He chuckles and then sighs at the truth of this.)
Scene IX: Billy's/ Jonathan's/ Sam & Hank's bedroom, meanwhile
(Sam and Hank are making out.)
SAM: Isn't this nice? Not having to be so quiet?
HANK: Yeah, but I was looking forward to that fireplace.
SAM: I'll keep you warm. (They go back to making out. Then he stops.) What's wrong?
HANK: I thought I heard someone in the kitchen.
SAM: They're probably getting a midnight snack. We'll just be a little quieter while they're downstairs.
HANK: OK. (They make out some more.)
Scene X: The kitchen, meanwhile
(Al takes something out of the refrigerator, dumps it in a bowl, and then pops it in the microwave, sets the time, and starts it up. Then Tony and Angela enter from outside, both with robes and shoes over their nightwear.)
AL: Ay, what's up?
TONY: I'm gonna cook something.
AL: That's OK, you don't gotta bother. I just put something in the microwave.
TONY: (irritably) For Angela.
AL: You can't use the kitchen at Mona's? You did when you stayed there over Valentine's Weekend.
ANGELA: I'm going to work in my study for an hour or so.
AL: It can't wait till morning?
TONY: Al, never argue with a woman who's nine months pregnant. (Angela smiles and kisses his cheek.)
ANGELA: See you in a little while. (She exits through the swinging door.)
TONY: (as he rummages through the cupboards) So how's it goin' over here?
AL: You've only been gone like fifteen hours. How much could change? (Then he remembers the redistribution of the bedrooms, as well as the odd vibe between Jonathan and Bonnie. But Tony doesn't notice Al's changed facial expression because he's happy about getting to cook in "his kitchen" again.)
Scene XI: Angela's study, a few minutes later
(Angela is typing on her computer, lost in thought. Then she looks up suddenly, as if she heard something.)
ANGELA: (to herself) Jonathan must have the radio on or something. Well, at least it's not a school night.
SAM: (just audible, offscreen) Oh, that's good!
ANGELA: (in a shocked whisper) Sam's in Jonathan's room! And it sounds like— No, I won't jump to conclusions.
SAM: Oh, just a little lower!
HANK: (just audible, offscreen) There? How's that?
ANGELA: (more shocked) Jonathan is with Sam and Hank?
SAM: Hank, did you hear something?
HANK: I told you someone was in the kitchen.
SAM: Now it sounds closer. (Angela sits as quietly as she can, not sure what to do in this awkward situation. Then someone knocks on the study door.)
TONY: (offscreen) Angela, do you want me to bring you the food or do you want to wait till you take a little break?
ANGELA: (not bothering to keep her voice down now) Actually, Tony, I'm finding it hard to concentrate over here. Why don't we just go back to the apartment?
TONY: Yeah, OK, if you want.
ANGELA: I'll be out in a minute.
TONY: OK, I'll wait in the kitchen.
ANGELA: Great! (She shuts down her computer and then goes over to the wall.) Sam, Hank, I don't know what you're doing in Jonathan's room—
SAM: We swapped rooms.
ANGELA: Oh. Well, have a goodnight. Sorry to have disturbed you.
HANK: It's OK. (They all exchange goodnights through the wall. Then she shakes her head and exits her study.)
Scene XII: The upstairs hallway, meanwhile
(Jonathan and Bonnie are still standing in the hallway, now necking.)
BONNIE: Jonathan, this is crazy!
JONATHAN: I know!
BONNIE: Al's going to be back any minute!
JONATHAN: We need to stop.
BONNIE: I know.
JONATHAN: Or go to my room. (She pulls away.) Sorry. I didn't mean to say that out loud.
BONNIE: Jonathan, this is not going to work, living on the same floor with each other.
JONATHAN: I know. But how are we going to get Sam and Hank to move back up here?
BONNIE: I don't know.
JONATHAN: What about—? (Al returns, with a bowl of whatever it was he microwaved.)
AL: Ay, you two still talkin'?
JONATHAN: Uh, yeah. Bonnie had the same English teacher as I have this semester, so she has lots of good advice.
AL: Oh. Well, goodnight.
B & J: Goodnight, Al. (He hesitates whether to mention Tony and Angela's visit, then decides not to. He waves and goes into his room.)
JONATHAN: Um, I guess I'd better not ask for a goodnight kiss. (She nods then sticks out her hand to shake. He smiles a little and shakes it. Cut to commercial.)
Scene XIII: Mr. and Mrs. Harper's/ Sam and Hank's/ Mona and Richard's bedroom, the next morning
(Mona and Richard are snuggling.)
MONA: So what do you think of our new place?
RICHARD: I like it, but I'd like anywhere with you. (They kiss. The phone rings. They sigh, annoyed.) Do you want to get that or should I?
MONA: Well, just a guess but it's more likely for me.
RICHARD: Oh?
MONA: Yes. I knew that Angela and the rest of them couldn't survive without me even 24 hours. No doubt some crisis has broken out that they want me to solve.
RICHARD: Well, at least they called rather than visited.
MONA: True. Of course, I could try ignoring it, but then they will visit. (She reaches across Richard for the phone, making him smile. He strokes her hair, making her smile. But she reluctantly settles back against her pillow.) Hello? Oh, it's you. Of course but— OK, why don't you drop by for lunch? All right, see you then. You, too, Dear. (She hangs up and passes the receiver back to Richard, who hangs it up and then looks at her.)
RICHARD: What was that about?
MONA: I'm not sure. Bonnie asked if she could talk to me later, in person, about something.
RICHARD: Oh, I wonder if it's about the little crush Jonathan has on her.
MONA: Oh, you noticed that, too?
RICHARD: I'm surprised Tony and Angela haven't.
MONA: Please. It took them seven years to see that they were crazy about each other. But it sounds like this is something that needs to be dealt with a lot faster than seven years. (Roll closing credits.)