An extra sort-of chapter is posted under a different name for those that wished I'd upgraded the rating.
His eyes opened on a new day. The early morning sun was barely peeking in his windows wrapping the room in an ethereal haze. He was facing the window having turned over at some point in the night. He felt Sara cuddled against his back with one of her arms draped over his abdomen. He could feel her light breaths tickle the hairs between his shoulder blades. It was comforting. He didn't want to begin the day – only to lay here and smile at the newfound companionship. The night before made him feel a mixture of embarrassment, possessiveness, and delight. It had been every bit as awkward as he had imagined, but they had worked everything out in the end – both enjoying themselves.
And he had his memory. He hoped it was every bit as precious to her as it was to him. It would be something new to go into battle with a good memory rather than thoughts that spiked rage, but it was what he wanted. He was growing older in both years and mind – the latter occurring far more rapid than the former, and he wanted a future to achieve that was more fulfilling than annihilating his path. He told himself that he fought to free his people – which was all well and good, but he had felt that he had no personal stake in the war. He would be a relic at its conclusion with nowhere to set his feet and listlessly wander through his days. His purpose would be gone and so would his will to live. Sara had given that back to him. He had a family. He had her, and they would need him. It was much easier to fight for hope.
Her hand tugged him against her, and her nose buried her face deeper into his shoulders. He smiled and rolled over wrapping her into a hug and pulling her into his collar sending a slow hum through his field and feeling her shiver. He had learned last night what was too much and what she liked. She giggled at first, but the hum turned it into a longing growl. He kissed her hair.
"Good morning, love. Did you sleep well?"
"With you."
He smiled and pulled back to see her shining blue eyes. Little strands of hair fell over her face, and she blew at them. He smiled warmly at her and brushed them behind her ears. His fingers continued down to rest under her chin which he tilted toward his mouth. He kissed her lightly letting his touch linger and breathing in the scent of her. It had been long since his bed had smelt of sex and sweat. Both he and her were practical and had showered after their activities, but the scent remained. He didn't mind it though. He was not even certain he would change the sheets. The reminder of her presence would be reason enough.
"Do we have to get up?"
He sighed wishing he could remain in the moment with her, but he knew as well as she that their duty didn't stop and wait for them. He pulled her to him and wrapped her in a hug. The day was growing longer, and the docks would be bustling to be loaded at 0800 hours. The wait in the ships would give them nearly a day to strategize and prepare: she on the Tempest and he on the commanding dreadnaught. It would be difficult being so close yet so far apart, but they each had their place.
"I do not wish to."
"I know what you mean," she sighed against his chest pressing a kiss to him. "I would love to stay here and pick up where we left off."
He purred involuntarily at the thought. He could do with her arching back and myriad of fascinating sounds. "We will be here again." He hoped that it was true.
She sniffed, and he felt her eyelashes brush him. "We will." The words were more of a threat than a confirmation, but he understood her sentiment exactly.
"I will make sure of it," he replied matching her tone and squeezing her tighter.
They ate breakfast then. She told him stories of her childhood, Scott, and the wonders of the Milky Way. He had not asked another alien about where they had come from. The whole Initiative seemed too intent on forging a new life here that they rarely divulged what they had left behind. He was intrigued to learn of another city like the Nexus and the various home worlds. Some of the political divides he had seen in the Initiative leadership were clearer now than they had been. Jaal had simply sent a copy of the Cultural Exchange Center's recordings. Evfra had never quite wanted nor thought it necessary to listen to them. That had been Paraan's prerogative.
They each lingered in the apartment – not wanting to leave. They ate slowly and cleaned more thoroughly than usual. When Evfra took the last plate from her to put away, he turned to see Sara staring toward the docks. The breeze fluttered the curtains and her dark hair alike. The day was beautiful and blue like every day in Aya. He wondered if he could lock her away in here. Would they even notice the war with the timeless blue sky, midday rains, and mundane conversations filled with laughter and love?
He walked behind her and wrapped her in a hug. She squeezed his arm and nuzzled into the bend of his elbow before turning her gaze back to the docks.
"You can see the Tempest from here," she observed.
He made an affirmative sound. "I have often looked for it."
She laughed. "Did you sit in your window pining away for me, Evfra?"
"Perhaps."
She smiled. "You seem too old for that sort of thing."
"Watching for a woman is much different than watching for a woman I love," he replied a little gruffly.
"Do you do that often? Watch for women?"
He snorted. "Hardly."
"Hmmm…" She fidgeted in his arms, and he kissed her on the head feeling her take a deep breath. "If there is someone else, Evfra… I'm gone so much. I don't want it to be true, but I want to know."
He leaned back in hurt and shock. "Why would you think that?"
She turned to him with her hands clasped tight in front of her, but her eyes staring steadily into his. Her knuckles were white.
"Jaal said… you were promised."
"Paraan?" Evfra rolled his eyes. "That was very long ago indeed. I assure you that none of that sentiment remains between us."
She sighed. "Good."
It was his turn to fidget. "Is this a…" He swallowed feeling the knot in his stomach rise to his throat. "… a confession?"
Her brows shot up, and her face suddenly turned fierce. "God, no!"
Evfra ran a hand over his scalp letting the tension seep out his field and body. He had always feared that a human could love a human better than all this interspecies nonsense. The angaran social ramifications were still not clear. The physical portions were clearer today than they were previously, and he had hoped it wouldn't matter to her. He wanted it to work. He simply nodded at her.
"Evfra de Tershaav, you will not rid yourself of me easily."
He kissed her fingers again. "I desire that more than anything in the world right now."
She smiled and looked again to the window. "We should go."
He played with the crevasses between her odd digits and bit his lip. "I haven't been frank with you."
She turned to him, and he couldn't meet her gaze. The woman was too precious to him, and he didn't want to see her disdain. It would hurt. The cuts that she would inflict would be worse than any he had previously received.
"My language… You have been practicing, and I –"
She frowned at his sudden silence. "Did I say something incorrectly?"
He shook his head. "No. You are doing very well. It is different without a field, but I like it. I… appreciate your efforts, but… it is something done intimately with a person. The only other – save my mother – that knows some of Tershaav is Paraan on account of us being promised to each other, though her teaching was abruptly ended. I did not teach her more, since I no longer had an obligation nor a sentiment that would make teaching her necessary. I taught you, because… I wish for this to continue. For a long time indeed."
He looked into her eyes at that time to see something gentle in them. It made his field warm, and his heart slow. Something about the way she looked at him reminded him of early days on Havarl and late Ayan nights filled with sweet kisses.
"When we leave here, we will once again be Pathfinder and General. I wished to tell you now, Sara."
She kissed him quick and light and began to pick up her things. Evfra frowned at her and watched her pluck the single blooming yellow flower from the vase. She walked to the door and turned to him.
"I expect you want an answer," she mused tapping the flower against her lips. "But I am the Pathfinder. Although Sara will find you after the battle. She will have an answer for you then."
He smiled at her and pulled her tight to him one last time. "I will be waiting."
"Stay strong and clear."
He couldn't answer her and buried his head in her shoulder feeling panic creeping into his field. He felt her squeeze him back, and when they separated, her cheeks were wet.
"You have to meet Scott."
He nodded as he watched her swipe angrily at her cheeks, and his heart welled. His field surged around her wrapping her in all the warmth he could provide. Her smile looked forced.
"I will. We will all be together after this. You must come back and give me your answer, and I must give you my heart."
Her smile stretched to a degree that was more genuine and sweet. She nodded, and he kissed her once more wrapping his fingers in her hair, and then she was gone. The dreadnaught seemed lonely without her, and he had to arrange his mind to strategize and fight. When he dropped his duffel in his private quarters, he took a deep breath closing his eyes. Sara holding him in bed and Sara with her mouth hanging ajar at a vid would all happen again, and he'd be damned if he wasn't going to be there to witness it.