The Emancipation of Heaven's Court

Disclaimer: I own nothing save for what rattles around in my rather warped imagination.

Author's Note: Mention of male rape and lots of violence in this chapter, you have been duly warned!! THIS IS NOT A DEATH FIC!!! I will never kill off the boys or any character that has not died on the show already.

Sorry it's a little shorter than usual. More next time ;0)

S--D

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: Memories? Better to be remembered or forgotten?

Dean held his breath and watched the door; his gaze flickered between the door and the clock on the wall, ticking down the minutes but oh so slowly.

'Ya hafta breath Dean.' Bobby chided him gently, 'honestly it's better if ya do.'

'What's takin' so long Bobby? They should've been here by now.' Dean almost whined as he fidgeted in his bed, 'at least let me get up before ...'

'Nope not till the doc okays ya, dang it all Dean do ya want to end up sicker?'

'No, it's just...'

'I know son, I know.'

Two orderlies and two nurses pushed a bed into the room making the heavy door swing in the wake; Dean managed to pull himself up a little to gain a better view of his brother. It had been a long week since Sam was placed in the special isolation but apparently the second skin grafts took without a problem and he was weaned off the drugs and allowed to wake from the induced coma. After a lot of arguing with two very stubborn brothers Beth relented and let Sam and Dean share the same room, the only way that she could ensure them staying in hospital for any length of time.

To Dean's consternation, the nurses pulled the curtains around Sam's bed while they finished setting up everything around him and settling him into the new room.

'Dean settle down.' Bobby grumbled as he watched the older Winchester grow even more agitated.

'Yeah but why the curtains, hell it's not like I haven't seen it all before, I used to change his diapers.'

'Dean!' Bobby tried to sound scolding but it came out more like a chuckle as the image came to mind, 'too much information way too much.'

'Bobby?'

'Yeah Dean?'

'I'm ... what if ... damn it Amni is still out there.' Dean grumbled trying to keep his voice down but he was fighting an uphill battle.

'We're gonna git him it or whatever ... Dean I promise ya that demon is going back to the pits.'

'They – they said that Sam might not regain his sight that it's been too long without improvement.'

'Ah damn it...'

The curtains rippled as the nurses pulled them back and gave Bobby and Dean a clear view of the youngest Winchester. Sam lay on his stomach, his head cushioned with a special pillow to give him the ultimate support. Tubes ran from seemingly everywhere and where there wasn't any tubes there were electrode patches monitoring his heart and breathing.

'Damn it Sam.' Dean whispered his breathing hitched with unshed tears. 'Let me outta here I gotta go to him.'

'Dean.' Beth admonished him as she came in to check on Sam after his transfer.

'Please Beth, I'll behave I'll do anything but I have to ... please.' Dean turned on his best impression of Sam's kicked puppy look and Beth felt her heart falter for a second.

'These are the conditions ... you are to remain in a wheelchair not to take a step out of it for anything, you are allowed out for a maximum of two hours at a time and I want you to rest in between. You are to eat everything put in front of you and no I repeat no early discharge or AMA, we clear?'

'Crystal.' Dean nodded, 'promise on everything.'

'Why do I get the feeling that I have just been set up?' Beth sighed shaking her head.

'Don't worry Doc yer get used to it.' Bobby grinned, 'trust me.'

'How's Sam doing Beth?' Dean asked after scowling at Bobby.

'As well as expected if not a little better ... I expected him to be in isolation for another week.'

'That's Sam for ya he's in a hurry for everything.' Dean smiled happily, 'apparently even at birth he couldn't wait, he was two weeks early.'

'Ah always in a hurry then?' Beth grinned, 'well everything is looking good.'

'Speaking of looking ... what about his sight Beth?' Dean asked hesitantly not really wanting to hear the answer.

'Well we'll know more when he wakes up,' Beth said, 'the funniest thing though...'

'What's that?' Dean asked with his frown deepening.

'His Ophthalmologist has disappeared no one has seen him since he treated Sam.'

'that is strange.' Bobby nodded while steeling a glance at Dean, 'who will treat him now?'

'A Doctor Will Peterson, he has his own private practice but has agreed to see Sam as a favour for me.'

'Favour?' Dean grinned suggestively.

'Yeah he's my sister's husband.' Beth laughed, 'I'll be back in a little while, buzz the nurses if you need me.'

S—D

Sam opened his eyes and blinked furiously he felt as though something was wrong but he couldn't quite place it. Panicking he tried to calm his breathing while he listened for any familiar sounds but all he could hear was the thudding of his heart.

He tried to focus on anything but it was all blurred together, he realised belatedly that he was lying on his stomach, his back felt tight and ungiving, his legs stiff and a little numb – numb?

He wanted to speak but nothing would come out, his mouth so dry it burnt to swallow, a low pitched moan finally slid out followed by a soft whimper of pain.

'Sammy?' The voice broke through the white haze and gave something for Sam to hang on to.

'D'n?' He tried but it sounded garbled even to him.

A gentle hand lifted his chin and he felt a wet coolness slide easily into his mouth, ice chips. 'De?'

'Welcome back to the land of the living Sleeping Beauty.' Dean's voice sounded so relieved but that only made Sam more nervous.

'Wha' 'appen?' He slurred his words as the ice melted and cooled his burning throat.

'We're in hospital Sammy, been here a while.' Dean spoke softly leaning close to his brother; gently stroking Sam's cheek both brothers needing the physical contact.

'They ah had to do a second skin graft on your back they couldn't stitch it up this time. So Beth put ya in an induced coma while the grafts took hold, you've been in an isolation room and they just brought ya in here.'

'Graft?' Sam gratefully accepted some more ice as he listened to his brother's account of their injuries. 'Wh-what else?'

'They ah patched ya up Sammy and kept ya on the good stuff.'

'Dean what about you?'

'I'm ...'

'Don't Dean, please don't say fine...' Sam begged his voice hoarse and growing faint, 'please.'

'Geeze Sammy, calm down,' Dean slipped some more ice into his brother's mouth, 'okay I umm had some surgery ... had a few bits remodelled and removed, the portal in my neck became necrotic but that's getting better now...'

'Removed bits? Necrotic?' Sam nearly choked on his ice as he digested the news, 'fuck Dean.'

'Yeah I know but hey nothing I can't handle.'

'What bits Dean?'

'What bits what Sammy?'

'What bits did they remove?' Sam rasped.

'Um right kidney and spleen they patched the rest.'

'And your neck?'

'Necrotic but like i said it's a lot better now.'

'I am so sorry Dean.' Sam wept, blinking quickly he tried to quell his tears but they started to fall anyway, 'all my fault.'

'No Sammy never your fault please...'

'I should have let them have me in Australia and then, then all of this ...'

'Never Sammy, we're gonna get through this and then we're gonna kick some demon ass.'

'Dean what about ... ah what about my...?'

'They have to get you a new eye doctor, apparently the other dude decided to vanish right after he did those so-called treatments for ya.'

'I'm still blind Dean.'

'Give it time Sam just take it one day at a time.'

'Yeah right.' Sam sighed and let his eyes slide shut, well he hoped that they were shut; it was just all too much for him to take in.

'Time for you to go back to bed.' Sam heard Beth talk to Dean but he remained stoic and quiet hoping to make it look like he was asleep. 'Remember your promise Dean.'

'Yeah, yeah Sammy's gone back to sleep anyway.' Dean reluctantly agreed and Sam heard as she pushed the chair across the room to Dean's bed, the soft scraping and muted movements brought him some comfort in the fact that he was not alone.

'So Dean let's have a look at your neck.' Beth said after she got him settled in the bed, 'just hold still that's it.'

'Ah shit doc that stings.'

'I know it does and I am so sorry but it's the only way ...'

'Yeah I know, so Beth how's Sam-Sammy?' Dean's voice hitched as she touched another tender spot.

'Physically he's doing better I'll be weaning him off some of the more potent drugs after today.'

'And?'

'And he is responding as well as we can hope for.'

'What aren't you telling me doc? Sammy's asleep so please talk to me what is it?'

'I'm worried about Sam's emotional status, as his memories return especially after the effects of the drugs wear off.'

'You mean if he remembers what they ...'

'Yes, from what I can ascertain at the moment he remembers very little of the actual torture ... he knows that you both were subjected to extreme abuse but the details...'

'What if he doesn't remember?'

'Then we work around but Dean ... wouldn't it be better if he does and can work through what they did to him?'

'Beth they ... they did things to us passed us around like freaking toys to be played with, they did these things with Sam in Australia ... I still don't know the extent of what happened down there but Sam when he ... he was just starting to get used to being touched when all of this started again. It took months Beth for Sam to even be able to make eye contact with strangers, even longer for physical contact and that included with people close to him. I really don't know what it will do to him if he remembers it all this time. My God Beth he couldn't even see the faces of his abusers this time he had no idea where or when they decided to take ... if there was a way to wipe this last year away and start all over again I would do it in a heartbeat.'

Sam swallowed deeply and wished that he could move enough to turn his head away to hide his tears, tears of shame, of anger, and of guilt. He's guilt expounded exponentially as he listened to Dean and Beth, his brother didn't have the luxury of a faulty memory. He had it easier than Dean and it wasn't right. This was all of his fault to begin with. He should have let them sacrifice him back in Australia and then Dean could have kept living, free of pain, free of shame and humiliation.

As he lay there listening to his brother and doctor speak, tears ran freely down Sam's face unnoticed by anyone else. It was all his fault, the thought kept running through his mind: All his fault.

He was so tired of being a victim, so tired of hurting, but he was tired of hurting Dean the most out of all. 'I'm sorry Dean.' He whispered breathlessly his sightless eyes fluttered open briefly his milky white pupils seemed to focus on his brother's face though it could have just been a trick of the light or a coincidence, a fluke.

The squeal of monitors startled the other occupants of the room, breaking into their hushed conversation. 'Sam?' Dean called out terrified, 'go Beth, please save my brother.'

'Sam?' Beth hit the emergency call button and started check Sam's breathing and pulse. 'Damn it Sam please don't give up on us now.' She begged not realising she had spoken out loud until she heard the audible gasp from Dean.

'Oh God Sammy!'

TBC