disclaimer/ I do not own Divergent :/

Chapter 20

"Maybe we should go to a hospital," Tobias says, as if reading my thoughts.

I shake my head.

"No. I don't want to go to a hospital. The cuts aren't deep enough for stitches and there's not much they can do for bruises."

"Are you su-"

"I'm sure, Tobias. Can we just go back to the hotel please?"

He sighs again and nods.

"Okay, let's go."

Tris POV

Tobias refuses to let me take the stairs up to the hotel room, so we ride up in the elevator with him squeezing my hand.

He opens the door for me and drop myself on the bed as soon as I walk in. My body doesn't hurt as much anymore but I can feel a migraine coming on full force. All I really want to do is close all of the blinds, ignore everything that just happened, and go to sleep.

I doubt that will happen though. I went from feeling crushed in a situation I didn't really want to be in for a long time, but I mean I was okay, to being physically wounded by the guy I lived with for 8 months.

I close my eyes, but as soon as I do, I can see myself being thrown against the entertainment center and glass fragment flying around me in slow motion.

My breath catches. I played it off back at the apartment when I was with Tobias, but it feels like a sort of cloud is settling over me. The thing is, it almost feels familiar. Which makes no sense, Matthew only hit me that one time before this, right? This feeling of pain and fear shouldn't be so familiar.

"I don't want to stay here anymore."

My previously closed eyes fly open and I sit up slowly. I was so lost in thought I kind of forgot I wasn't alone. Which is strange because Tobias' presence is enough to set my skin on fire.

What does he mean he doesn't want to stay here anymore? The hotel is pretty far from Matthew's apartment and the security measures are top notch. Plus, I highly doubt he would try something with Tobias being so close. Then again, I don't really know who I'm dealing with.

"Tobias, I-," I try to start.

"No, Tris. I want to go home," he interrupts me. "I want to take you to your home. I can't stand being here knowing that piece of-"

"Tobias," I beg. "I will not be the reason your vacation is cut short. I'll be fine, I promise."

As I say it, I can tell he's not convinced. Hell, I didn't even convince myself. Any attachment I had to this city if fading quickly.

Extremely quickly.

"I don't think you understand. This "vacation" was not something I was on board with from the start. I didn't want to come. The only reason it was planned in the first place was to try and distract me and get me out of the funk I'd been stuck in because you were gone. But now," he says joining me on the bed.

He runs his thumb across my cheek and grabs my hand. "Now, you're here. I have no reason for distraction. Let me take you back to Chicago where there's no Matthew. You'll be able to go to your hometown and maybe even gain some of your memories back."

I know for a fact that I won't feel safe until I'm far away from here. But I also know that it's incredibly selfish to cut everyone's trip short.

"What about everyone else? I would be messing up their vacation as well," I get out.

"Tris, seriously? You were just beaten and thrown across a room by basically your kidnapper. You had a panic attack for crying out loud. You need to get out of here. As for everyone else, they can stay here if they want to, but I know they won't. They are just as happy to have you back as I am. Their only concern will be for your well being."

I sigh.

"Please," he begs me.

He's right. I know he's right. It's not healthy and it's not safe for me to be here. So what is holding me back?

"You're right, I know you are. I think I'm just scared. Scared that I'm going to go to Chicago and not recognize a thing. Scared that I'm not going to get my memories back," I whisper shaking my head. "Why would you want that around? Dealing with someone that maybe you used to care about, but is now a complete different person? The person y'all have told me about is nothing like me. I'm not strong or brave or confident. I couldn't do anything against Matthew. Nothing," I say as I feel a tear roll down my cheek. "I'm not your girl."

I keep my head down and look away.

"Tris," he says softly

No, No, No, No.

"Tris," he says again.

What does he not understand? I'm not Tris and I never will be. Tris wouldn't be sitting next to this gorgeous man crying and refusing to look at him. At least I don't think she would. Let's be real, I know nothing about her.

"Beatrice Callilope Prior"

This gets my attention and I meet my tear-stained eyes with his deep blue ones. My middle name's Calliliope?

"You think you were always some superstar who was never beaten down and never felt hopeless? That you were always happy-go-lucky and confident? Because let me tell you, you weren't. Not even a little," he says holding my gaze. "You broke down, you cried, you felt weak. You wore a robe of fraud confidence. You struggled with self-confidence and you struggled with believing in yourself just like you are right now. But, you always stood up for what you believed in and you never let people push you around. You were brave because you were selfless. You think that you're not my girl? My Tris? In the break room with Matthew, you stood up for yourself because you believed that what he did to you was wrong. You've been walking up and down five flights of stairs because you know that I don't like elevators. You are worrying about ruining a vacation of people you just met over your own safety. So don't tell me that I wouldn't want you around. With or without your memories, it would be an honor for anyone to have you around," he finishes never once looking away.

I gape at the amazing human being in front of me. What the hell did old me do to deserve him?

"Okay?," he asks, prompting me to speak.

"Okay," I say with a small ghost of a smile

We're all spread out in the airport waiting area the next day awaiting our flight to Chicago. Tobias was right when he said that everyone would come back with us. As bad as I still feel about cutting their trip short, they seem to not have the slightest of a problem with it.

I gave them a snippet of what had happened because I thought I owed them at least that, but kept it vague. I was hardly able to sleep last night. Every time I closed my eyes, I would relive the whole thing. Talking about it was even worse, so I kept it to a minimum.

"Y'all, the jet's here!," Zeke shouts at us, jumping out of his chair.

"I'm dating a six year old," Shauna mumbles as she wheels in suit of him, causing me to chuckle.

Tobias helps me carry my bags as we make our way to board. I look around and see our group do the same.

I really haven't talked much to anyone except Tobias and most of them still give me strange looks, like they are preparing for me to just disappear. Caleb's are by far the worst, though. It's still crazy to believe that I have a brother. The problem is, I feel no connection to him. He's the only blood family I have left, yet he still feels like a random stranger off the street.

Cara walks up to me and gives me a smile, interrupting my thoughts.

"Are you excited to go home?," she asks me.

I nod my head. "I am. It's crazy not knowing anything of a place that you lived in for 16 years. I'm just hoping it will trigger some memories."

We set our bags down and walk up the boarding dock.

"I'm sure they will. Being back in Chicago will raise your chance of remembrance drastically," she says as we get settled in our seats. "I think just walking through all of the factions will jog your memory at least a little bit."

The pilot comes over the speaker giving a run through of all emergency procedures and tell us to put on our seat belts for take off. I glance over at Tobias and through his tough exterior, can see the characteristics of pure panic.

I reach over and intertwine my fingers with his.

"Hey, look at me," I say gently.

His frantic deep blue eyes flutter up to meet mine.

"I was thinking that we could use the time on the plane to describe Chicago. I don't remember anything of how it looks like or how we lived. Tell me about my house and how we met. Tell me what my favorite food was and where I went to school. How did I learn to fight? Who taught me? And Cara said something about walking through all of the factions. Tell me what factions are." I say trying to get his mind on anything but the fact that we will be airborn at anytime.

He sighs and turns to face me.

"It's going to be a lot to take in. The Chicago you grew up in is nothing like it is now and is nothing like New Orleans," he says shaking his head. "It might help to hear everyone's contribution."

"Guys, we need to fill Tris is on the basics of the faction system and a specific outline of her past," he says giving the group a pointed look.

Specific? What's that supposed to mean?

"Wait, what do you mean by specific?," I ask confused.

I look around and see that no one will make eye contact with me.

"Let's just say that there's sections of your past that need not be discussed just yet," Christina says after a minute of silence. "Don't worry about that now. We'll get to it later."

"Yeah, for now Welcome to The Life Of Tris 101 taught by your very own Zeke Pedrad," Zeke says with a goofy smile.

I chuckle. I mean let's be real, how different could life have really been?

I'm actually extremely excited for the next chapter because it's one I have been planning since I first started this story. So YAY. Thank you guys so much for all of the support I have gotten up to this point. I think there might be something wrong with my PM's though so if i haven't answered, I am super sorry. Try and send your message again and maybe it will let me reply this time.

In other news, someone correctly guessed the To All The Boys I've Loved Before reference and I was SUPER excited about it. Congrats to Wrenlovesreading ! You're awesome! :)

Don't forget to leave a review of what you think and what you think should happen next! I love y'all

-M