NIKI'S POV
"UGH, why are you so bothered anyways?! It's not like you're in love with me or anything! I mean, what the heck?!"
"It's not like you're in love with me or anything!"
"…in love with me or anything!"
"…in love with me or anything!"
The words rang through my head as I drove, faster and faster and faster. But I was good – no one was gonna come into Melody Lane… Escpecially no cops. Nope, none.
UGH, how could I?!
How could he - ?!
Shit.
Ugh, ugh, ugh! I just hope I hadn't given him the "I'm-so-totally-in-love-with-my-best-friend-AKA-you" vibe.
I didn't think he would be ready for that yet.
Shit, shit, shit!
I forced myself to concentrate on the road ahead, I was staring so hard at the little patches of road coming up ahead that I didn't even realize that I had pulled up at the beach until I blinked three four times. I stared ahead at the calm view I head. My breath came hard and fast, and I let it slow down. I knew my phone was vibrating away to glory on the front passenger seat, and I knew that it was all of them taking turns calling me. For some reason I could especially see Tom walking up and down the hallway hoping that I would pick up the phone, but I guessed that was because of the weird twin connections I'd always have – and cherish, mind – with Payal.
Twinsie come –
Leave.
I cut her off mentally. I wouldn't take it. This wasn't me being angry or self – sacrificing towards the guy I was in love with, it was me pissed off at my best friend who wouldn't trust me when I said I didn't have the hots for some guy.
Okay fine that would call for an inclusion of the guy I loved too, but you get the picture.
I blew out in a huff. Why was life so fucking complicated?! So… so bloody dramatic! Fucked up, I swear…
And WHAT WAS WITH Taylor FLIRTING with me?!
Oh. Sweet. LORD.
My phone vibrated once again on the set, and I decided I need to escape, sort out my brain, and then return home or wherever.
I kicked of my stilettos, stepped out of my car, focusing on the feeling of the soft but grainy sand under my feet. I was happy I was wearing a knee length dress; I wouldn't have to roll up jeans or anything. My hair was already blowing out of my face like it did everytime. I immediately felt parts of my mind clear.
I begun to walk slowly along the marking the water left as it receded. Every now and then the water would caress my feet, cooling my souls even further, giving me goose bumps and peace of mind. My mind started to stitch the correct pieces together, temporarily rejecting pieces of information as if everything was a jigsaw puzzle. That's just the way it was, that's how I worked myself out; it was some subconscious control taking over and restoring order.
Bill cared, that's why he asked…
He'd always had trust issues, easy to doubt, so that's why he got mad…
Things made more sense now.
"It's not like you love me anyway!"
I stopped dead in my tracks.
"…love me anyway!"
Did he?!
TOM'S POV
I had felt it, when they had started fighting.
And now I felt him break.
My reflex action was to get up and move towards him, and although I established the getting up part, I couldn't get myself to move any further.
It didn't take a genius to figure out he'd fixed his make – up, just to make it look like he hadn't cried, even though it had just been one tear.
Payal had already tried walking after Niki.
Obviously to no avail.
Ugh.
He plastered a big smile on his face, "She's just out for a drive."
So fake.
I nodded solemnly, and everyone took cue and acted normal.
I could feel the storm building up.
BILL'S POV
The room was cold, unbearably cold. She still hadn't been back when we'd left, and more than anything I was worried where she was. I hadn't dared to call her till I was alone, and when I did she didn't pick up the phone.
Had she realized?!
I ran both my hands through my hair. Complication, complication, complication. Jeez.
I couldn't sleep; I didn't even attempt changing out of my clothes. I knew it was useless; what would be the point tossing and turning and wondering what was running through her head?!
Well, I thought, a blush creeping up my face, you're doing that anyway.
I knew what was going to do next would be hard, but I had to do it. this was a necessity now.
"Whatever happens…" I muttered to myself, but got up and out of the room without saying the rest.
But obviously I had the thought in my head.
Whatever happens… to me you'll be forever sacred.
***
Cold and hot, cold and hot. The temperature fluctuated as I moved from the shadows into the moonlight, and back under the shadow again. I couldn't make up my mind. Should I go in?
It was just past 4 in the morning, and I had managed to spend the last hour staring at the light that was switched on in her room high above and also ignore Tom's repeated calls and finally end up text messaging him.
I sighed now, deciding to finally step in.
Of course I wasn't going in through the front door.
I don't know how, but Niki had manage to plant and grow a good number of trees here, even in between the older ones that had already been present here. I crept in the shadows of these trees now, crept until I was directly under the big tree house through which Coco had come out that very first time I had seen her.
And now she was gone.
I avoided that sensitive topic, and turned to face the house, which looked pale and ghostly and yet beautiful in the light of the waning moon.
I walked straight ahead, knowing that I would always find the little groove in the wall. I yanked, and the door that had been invisible not a second ago swung open, the darkness of the kitchen leaking out over the grass.
See, Niki had this little secret entry installed right from the beginning. She knew they'd need a safe way to get in if the paparazzi went too gaga, which till date had been prevented by their amazing security and crew.
My shoulders weighed down as I walked into the house.
There was a reason this entry was unlocked
For us.
Standing still for a minute, I looked around the kitchen, the very kitchen where I'd first sat with her and actually talked. Where my skin had tingled watching her brown eyes.
I made those beatiful brown eyes hurt, along with her heart.
UGH.
I ghosted through the house, letting my feet wander, and in no less than two minutes I was at her door. I stood silent, debating on what my POA actually was.
Then again, I didn't have a POA.
It was that two minute silence that made me hear the voices.
"…don't even know why I'm doing this in the first place! I mean it almost seems obssessive, but I trashed TWO OF THEM after letting my mind wander." She sneered the last three words, mocking herself. I frowned. What the heck - ?!
And then – "is the face structure okay? God, WHAT AM I SAYING OF COURSE IT IS! UGH!" I opened the door gently, and only one head turned to look at me. Twish.
Her hazel eyes looked directly into mine; they asked no questions, but understood what I felt completely. I sighed in relief, turning to face the girl I hadn't known I had fallen so very in love with. Fortunately though, she had no idea I was in the room.
And then my eyes zeroed in on what she was painting.
I was rendered speechless.
Her hadn moved swift, graceful. Her wrist turned, and the colour flicked at just the right angles. It was beautiful.
It was me.
"I mean, what am I, his stalker?! Like, jeez, ridiculous – "
She twirled around and caught my eye, and her breath.
" – isn't it." she breathed out in a whisper. I caught sight of Twisha staring at the floor awkwardly, and then – after a piercing and extremely long and aching silence – she walked out.
"That wasn't – " she begun, but I cut across her –
"I'm sorry." The words sounded choked, and I just realized I'd been fighting back tears, that her eyes were glossy too. Before I knew it I was being squeezed into the tightest hug ever; but I didn't mind, as long as I could breathe in that sweet smell that always lingered in her hair. I didn't even care if she knew how I felt or not, which she probably didn't, judging by her reaction.
I couldn't fight with her again.
NIKI'S POV
How my legs propelled me forward, how I crashed into my best friend AKA the guy I love's arms, I had no idea. All I knew was that I was crying, and that I was confused, and that I didn't understand why we were fighting so much. It's just that we were, but it felt amazing to be engulfed in one of his skinny bear hugs. I don't even know how that was possible, but it was. He petted my hair, and I knew he was reassuring himself just like I was. I disentangled myself from him, knowing that he might find him awkward if I hugged him too long. The tears had dried, and his golden – brown irises stared clearly into mine.
"Why do we keep fighting?!" I asked him, my laugh sounding watery what with all the crying. He smiled slightly, shrugging in response. I gave it up; I guess we'd never know the answer. But I'd rather fight with him than not have him around, and I had been a fool to pretend that we would be fine if we weren't in touch. That's now best friends could work. Ever.
He looked past my shoulder, squinting as he gazed at his own face on the canvas.
Suddenly I felt the basketball in my stomach twist and turn into uncomfortable positions.
"Ummm…"
"Can I see?" he asked me, utter curiosity visible in his overly expressive eyes.
"I – if you wish…?" his reaction shocked me. And here I thought I seemed stalker – ish.
He walked forwards towards the propped up canvas, his hand interfering with the air just above the layer of oil paint.
"Umm… it's – "
"Amazing." He said, his smile dazzling me like it did everytime it was genuine.
I could only watch him, his reaction puzzling me once I got over the overflow of happiness all across his face.
"Ummm…"
"You're not crazy, you're not stalker – ish, you're not going insane, you're not obsessive. You're you, my best friend and I – " he breathed in, trying to prepare me for what he was going to say. He may be shy at first, but Bill was always for the theatrics – "I love you, you idiot."
BILL'S POV
She giggled, and I smiled. She giggled even more, and I began to laugh. She knew what I meant. I was her best friend, and I loved her that way. My mind had decided that it was not ready to unlock my heart. Silly.
"I love you too, warped – head weirdo." She said giggling harder. I shook my head, rapping my knuckles against her skull.
"Foolhardy." I muttered in mock hopelessness.
She rolled her eyes as she continued to giggle.
"That's not even how you use the word." She said.
"I know."
"Idiot."
***
NIKI'S POV
"OK, what the HELL?!"
"Just relax."
"Yeah. Relax when I can't see anything in front of me. Suurrreeee."
A pair of arms wound around me and hugged me close, trying to spin me around into a bear hug.
But I stayed put.
He sighed against my shoulder.
"Don't be so difficult."
I huffed; as soon as the fanparty in Italy got over a pair of hands had covered my eyes. Before I knew it I was being blindfolded, and the only sounds were Zoey checking out of the hotel. Jeez.
Obviously my twin was going through the same thing.
"This isn't nice."
The arms only tightened around me.
Ordinarily something like this would have surprised me, but I was used to Bill's gazillion bear hugs by now.
I sighed, trying to peek through the bottom of the blind fold, but all I could make out was the hint of white marble flooring.
"Welcome to Milan Linate – "
"EXCUSE ME - ?!" I whirled around and I knew I was staring at Bill's face. I could almost imagine him fidgeting with his fingers.
"You weren't suppose to know…" he mumbled.
"Just tell me where we're going." I sighed.
"Not happening sis." Tom muttered in my ear.
"I swear if the paprazzi catch us like this their gonna think you guys are terrosists I'm warning you." But Tom only laughed from next to me.
9 hours. Do you know how irritating it is to have to not know where you're going and lay wide awake when almost everyone is asleep ON A PLANE?!
FOR NINE HOURS?!
I do.
It fucking sucks.
My iPod's drained.
I'm snobby right now cause of all the sitting still buisiness.
UGH.
But then eventually I fell asleep.
How do I know?
When I woke up the stupid blindfold was back.
"Okay, I'm gonna take it off now." Bill whispered in my ear. Thank you very much?!
I just crossed my arms over my chest.
But when the blindfold came off I froze.
"HIYA HONKY!"
Was this for real?!
"Dhruv. Freaking. Mehra. YOU ASSHOLE! YOU – "
"Aye mind your language!" my mum mock chided me as I hugged my almost brother. I hadn't seen these guys for a solid year now. It felt so good.
So good I started crying.
"Idiot!" Zeeshan shouted.
"Says mister goodie pants." I said, sniffing nice and long.
He only gave me his patent frown, but I could sense that everpresent mischief.
I was home.
BILL'S POV
"I guess I'm gonna go to sleep now honky." Dhruv said. That was one fun guy.
Niki frowned as she watched him walk off the terrace of their home. Everyone was sleeping over here tonight, but it wasn't easy to house THIRTEEN extra people in this place. Anyways that wasn't the concern right now.
We were the only two sitting up, everyone had left one by one, Dhruv being the last.
"So…" she siad, clasping her hands together in her lap. She turned to look at me, smiling slightly.
I shrugged.
"Nice surprise." She said laughing slightly, and I saluted in mock pride.
"Yeah yeah whatever." She said, laughing and peeking up at the tiny bit of sky that was visible past the onning that ran along one strip of the terrace.
"You know… it seems just yesterday that I hated Dhruv, and that Twisha and I used to keep squablng, and I had to wear that stupid jail uniform… that I was fifteen. And now here I am… I've turned eighteen!" she sighed, looking straight ahead. I smiled, even though I didn't quite relate to those emotions. I did however, understand the crazy passage of time.
"So you gonna cry like Twish did on hers?" I asked, teasing her, and her hand swatted at my head but missed. She laughed, her head moving from side to side like it did everytime she was in a fit of laughter.
"Stupid." She said when she was done. We were sitting side by side on the granite platform on the one side of the terrace. It was 4 in the morning, and sleep was the last thing on my mind.
And she was the first.
I knew I was staring at her, but she didn't say a word even though she seemed to feel conscious about it.
For once we needed a topic as a distraction.
She looked back at me, smirking now. I raised my eyebrows.
"You really did think I had a thing for Taylor didn't you?" she asked, still smirking. I could feel the heat in my face, although I wouldn't say I really blushed. I continued to stumble with the words until she started laughing at my helplessness.
"All of them fall for him." I mumbled. She stopped laughing, turning to look at me, and I thought for a second she looked hurt. Again I caught us staring at each other.
"Jeez." She breathed out, shaking her head, and I manage to look away from her face.
There was a heated silence as we just sat there. It was so suddenly upon us, and so very evident; it made my stomach tingle.
"Then you really won't like this other person…" she said, trailing off. My eyebrows went higher and higher… if they would have gone any higher, I think they would have dissappeared all together.
"And who's that?"
"This guy… who had a crazy crush on me… he still tries his luck. He's been trying his luck since I was fifteen and he was turning eighteen." She said, snickering as she said the last part.
That don't make me very comfortable.
I guess my face showed it, because she quickly added to her statement.
"He looks pretty gay if you think about it." I chuckled. Typical.
"Taylor wasn't gay." I said, pretending to be uptight about it, even though in my heart of hearts I knew I was gonna throw a fit tomorrow.
"Taylor wasn't my best friend." She stage whispered, fake grief in her toe; I resisted the urge to laugh and faked anger.
"You didn't…"
"Yes I did…"
Picking the pillow I struck hard, but she ducked and I hit the wall. Before I could look away from her laughing face and throw her another blow, the lights went out.
She yelped, clutching my hand tight and I started.
"What?!" I asked, panicking over why she was panicking.
"It's dark." She blurted out, sounding utterly mortified. I laughed softly, adjusting my arm around her, and for the first time – most likely because of her phobia – she shifted even closer to me and covered the tiny gap that I had thought was non – existent.
I was so wrong.
She turned to scowl at me.
"It's just the night." I whispered, I just couldn't raise my voice. It was one of those moments where everything goes silent, so you just whisper instinctively.
She ignored my comment and pulled her knees up to her torso.
"We can go down if you want." But she only shook her head quickly, looking ahead now.
I don't know what made me do it, but I grabbed her chin.
"It's just the night." I said, laughing and smiling just a bit. She only stared at me, wide eyed with fear. "You'll be fine." I continued softly." But she didn't budge, still looking scared as she looked up at me.
She might have been scared, but without all the make up, without all the craziness of the world to bother her, I think she actually felt exactly what I was feeling right now.
Maybe that's why she leaned in towards me just the same time I did.
And that's when the stupid lights came on.
She pulled away from me, looking the other way awekwardly.
If I had been alone right now, I would have blown my top off over the lights.
"I guess we should get to bed now." She whispered shyly, and she sounded like the girl I'd met in that MAC store again.
I almost smiled, but then stopped myself.
"Yeah."
NIKI'S POV
I lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. I'd had to sleep in the room in which my brother used to sleep two years ago. Now ofcourse he slept in the bedroom of the connecting flat we owned her. He was married now.
I could hear his breathing from the camp bed on the floor.
Well, basically everyone hogged my room (as usual), and they left us both no place excpet this room.
Which was making me think even more.
What if the lights hadn't come on?
BILL'S POV
"Niki?"
"Hmm…"
"Can I come up for a bit?"
"Of course." Her tone made me feel like an idiot for even asking.
I got up, straightening myself out, and slunk down onto the bed against the pillows.
"Can't sleep." I stated. That tension wasn't gone yet; I flt I might burst from the way my stomach was twisting and turning.
Before I knew it, an iPod headphone lay in my hand in the darkness.
I've been alone with you inside my mind…
"You like that song?" I whispered. Funny how she wasn't scared of the darknes when she had her music and a person around…
She nodded a yes in response to my question.
"It's one of my sleepy songs." She whispered back.
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times…
"You know… I didn't believe in love at one point. Thought no one accepted me at school, no one would accept me in life."
I sometimes here you pass outside my door…
"But now I think I do. Believe in love, I mean."
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted, and my arms are open wide
'Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you ...
She looked up into my face, and I had to desperately fight back the urge to reach out and stroke her face. It was a while before she snapped out of it.
"Goodnight Bill." She whispered, and I automatically got up and off the bed, my eyes never leaving her face like her's never left mine. I was fighting my heart now, and her words, her everything was making the blood rush to my face. I finally looked away as I lay myself down.
"Goodnight."
***
NIKI'S POV
" So how many times have you put down the flirt already?" Tom asked irritably as I sipped on my wine. I finally got to have my favourite hard drink in all of the world. Red wine – simple and amazing.
And stopped myself from laughing in between a sip.
"Which one?" I asked, giggling. I thought I saw Bill scowl even more at the floor, and I stopped laughing immediately. That crazy sparks flying thing refused to vanish since last night. I loved it, but it muddled me up. Oh, well.
"Both." Tom barked at me.
"Lets see… I've pushed them away four times already, and I avoided Taylor once."
"Nice." He said sarcastically and I sighed. Enigma, the club at Mariot, was totally ours for tonight. So basically everyone I cared for was here.
"Okay, you know the night's gonna be fine when these guys leave we're gonna be doing shit back at the suites!" I said, grabbing my last ray of hope. I saw Gusti perk up.
"Yeah!" he said enthusiastically, and the others nodded too. Me and PiePie had just wanted another night at the club. Nothing too big. Mum had other plans, but we'd brushed them aside.
I immediately felt better. Getting up from where I sat I weaved my way through the people I knew so well and loved so much to the little area on the other side of the glass. It was just the hint of a balcony, but it was sufficient to clear my head from Bill's frowning face. I knew he wouldn't tell me that he wasn't liking all that flirting that was coming from Taylor one bit; sometimes I knew why he was so uptight, and sometimes I didn't. Like I said before – it gets me muddled.
"Hey." Speak of the devil. I smiled slightly. His company was more than welcome.
"I just needed a breather." I said. I felt his fingers lace with my own. After that one moment in time, the fact that we had almost kissed each other didn't really make me feel a bad-weird. It was a god-weird, if you know what I mean.
It was like I was falling in love with him all over again.
"You know he really is gay." He whispered, and I knew he was standing at my shoulder. I could hear the smile in his voice, and I smiled too, laughing softly as I did. I turned to face him, letting my face settle into playful skepticism.
"Really?"
He smiled at me. "Yeah. Really."
"Didn't look like that in there." I said, managing to keep the same face. He laughed softly, but the sound was nervous. "I can guess you know." I said quietly, more seriously. He looked away from my face a little.
"I just…" but I already knew what he was talking about. Standing not two inches from each other, we stared at the same strip of floor. I turned my face to stare at the moon that was up in the sky.
"I think… I know what you mean." I said slowly, and his head snapped up. Neither of us was good at such a conversation in the beginning. We were both people who found it hard to break the ice.
"You do?" he asked me, and I couldn't understand the emotion in his eyes.
I nodded. "Yeah." I said. I looked up into his eyes, trying to make him understand that I did.
Before I knew it I was edging closer to him all over again…
"Niki? They're calling for both of us together inside…"
His hand slipped from mine just as my head snapped away. I moved forward, very much aware of what the hell had just happened, of the crazy amounts of blood rushing to my face.
UGH.
BILL'S POV
The party was way past over, and so were all the crazy pillow fights, dark room games and truth and dare rounds. So now my idle mind had enough time to keep that moment running through my head. I had no idea what kept snapping in me everytime when she pulled away…
It's your ego.
I ran my hand through my dreaded hair. This was just beyond irritating. I had no words for it.
Now my stupid EGO was in the way?!
Great.
"Just get yourself in that bed and go to sleep Bill." I muttered angrily to myself. I began to angrily take of the gazillions of rings that I just seemed to love to adorn my fingers with.
But that just made it worse, because I then remembered how she'd play with those rings when they were on my fingers.
UNGH.
And that's when the inexplicable happened.
ZOEY'S POV
All I heard was a piercing scream.
And well, I proceeded to open the door that led to Bill's room. We had like a connecting door thing for some reason.
"The stupid assholes are doing things human eyes shouldn't ever see…" he whispered, looking horrified.
"Huh?!" I said, walking back the way I came and woke up Niki, who'd wanted to share the room with me tonight rather than take a room of her own.
"Mmmm… WHAT?!" she said, grunting sleepily.
"Bill's screaming his top off." I said, sitting down on the bed. I knew it had to do something with Tom. I mean, I understand Tom…but sometimes he's just too gross. So I wasn't really blaming Bill.
She got up immediately, popping a mint into her mouth as they walked through to his room. She sat herself down on the floor in front of Bill.
"What..what ha – oh."
He looked at her, still slightly dazed.
"Seems like my twin sister just got a birthday gift from her boyfriend."
NIKI'S POV
I sat on the floor, and the silence was getting awkward.
I started to say something, but then I stopped.
"Maybe…well, maybe they didn't…you know, do - "
He shot me a death glare.
"Okay fine they did."
There was a knock on the door, and as usual Rish came barging in.
"Well in case you guys didn't know you – What's going on?!"
"Payal got her birthday gift." Bill muttered, just a split second before my hand clamped down on his mouth.
"OOOHH!! Can I tell everyone pretty please with my mum's chocolate cake on top PUHLEASE?!"
"Shuddap!" I snapped and she cackled sitting down on the bed.
Silence. Again.
"If I were you, I would want to knock on the door JUST for the heck of it." She said in the monotonous voice of hers.
Way to give ideas, Rish.
BILL'S POV
How about I actually take the Cat's idea.
"Hey, hey, hey, hey, where you going?!" Niki said, grabbing both my hands and pinning them together at the small of my back.
"I WANNA INTERRUPT THE DIRTY!!" I shouted, protesting away against the hands holding my arms back.
But with one huff, I was pinned to the ground, and her hair was tickling my face.
"SHUT UP!!"
The way her voice boomed, I actually DID shut up. She stared at me angrily and I stared back.
"Okay, this may be working for the two of you, but from where I'm standing – it looks wrong."
Niki glared at Rish and let me go.
"One more protest and you'll be back on that carpet, pretty boy." I shivered. If anyone scared me right now, it was her.
And then I shrieked again.
"BLOCK THE ASSHOLE OUT!!" she said, clamping her hand down once more, and this time it worked. My shrieks now sounded like girly squeaks.
Well, the shrieks were girly before too, but you get the point.
Rish walked out, giggling and clapping giddily.
Niki turned to glare.
"You shrieked." She said, staring me down all the while she walked slowly up to me.
"You just HAD to shriek." She said, standing not even an inch from me. Is it petty of me to say I still wanted to kiss her?
Silence.
"WHY, OH WHY, DID YOU SHRIEK?!"
I blinked. "Huh?!"
Her eyebrows went higher and higher till she understood what was on my mind… and for once she admitted it out loud.
Well, almost.
"You're thinking about THAT just now?!"
I desperately tried to shake the thought out of my head while she paced up and down the room.
"Great," she said, stopping in front of me, "now Rish knows, which means EVERYBODY knows!! UGH!!" and as if to prove her point, something clanged down the hallway.
The hallway full of our people.
"HEY EVERYBODY GUESS WHAT?!"
"ARGH!!" Niki said, covering her ears desperately with her hands as she walked out of my room and into her's via the connecting door, where she stopped and turned towards me once more. "TADA!!" she said, anger and sarcasm practically dripping off of her, "We did it!!" she sneered, stomping off into her own room and proceeding to put everything neatly aside like she did everytime she was fuming.
I sure felt like a typical guy trying desperately to understand the female mind.
NIKI'S POV
He hovered over me the whole time, and soon enough I felt a pair of arms wind around my waist, trying to turn me around and into a hug, but I pushed him away.
"I freaked out okay?" he said guiltily. I sighed, turning around slowly. I was short tempered, mind, and it could be disastrous if you were around me at such a time. But sometimes I learned to control it.
"OH. MY. GOD." Someone said from outside, and I sighed, my face in my hands. Everyone was overreacting, just like I'd thought they would.
"This is the LAST thing she'll be wanting." I said, shaking my head with my face still in my hands.
Before I knew it he held my face up gently by the chin, just like he had last night.
"We'll fix it." he said quietly. I swear sometimes Bill could be a complete surprise. He wasn't usually completely in control. I was used to seeing him in a crazy panic attack.
Yes, I'm petty enough that my heart started racing when I looked into his eyes, that my mouth was shut because I had no words in which to express my feelings.
He took my silence to be skepticism and sighed.
"We'll fix it right now if that's what you want." He said, and I wanted so badly to smirk. Typical Bill, not so patient after all.
"How?" I whispered, he was still holding my face up, and he was right in doing so. If I had my will I would sulk in one corner. I can get pretty irrational when I'm upset over something involving me.
He looked away a little, and then back at me. Taking my hand gently, he lead me out the room and into the hallway. We looked around until we spotted that Georg's room was open. I thought I saw a bit of Gustav from where I stood.
"Okay, why are we – "
"Did they really – "
"GUYS SHUT UP!!" I shouted. All faces snapped to look at me and Bill standing in the doorway. I thought Georg, Stella, Twish and Gusti looked relieved everyone had shut up.
Maybe for the first time Bill clutched my hand instead of letting it go."C'mon guys, would you like it if everyone was discussing the moments you shared with the person you're dating?!" I asked, surprising myself – since my voice wasn't shaking one bit.
"But why – " Rish butted in.
"Rish I know you like spilling the beans to people you trust about the people you trust but there's a limit and you crossed it. So just don't ask why, because you know how to keep a secret. Right now I just think you had too much to drink." I said, my gaze scrutinized her, and I heard Bill and someone else snort in the background. Zoe looked slightly ashamed, and the rest of them seemed relieved, especially Jost. A giggle escaped me after I saw his face, and Bill turned to look at me, astonished.
"L – look" – giggle – "at Jost's f - " giggle, "ace!! HAHAHAHA OHMYGOD!!"
Before anyone knew it Stella was laughing too, and everyone was smiling a little, trying to control themselves.
Thank. God.
"Ok, then," I said, in between giggles, "not even a word to the slightly icky couple. 'Kay?"
Everyone nodded, laughing a little now. And I said my goodnight as I exited.
I'd all but forgotten Bill was still with me.
"Didn't expect you to take it well." He said quietly from next to me, and I jumped, causing him to laugh. I scowled at him, and he only laughed harder.
"Oh, shut up" I said, smiling anyways. He grinned back at me.
We walked into my room, and I walked right into the bathroom, splashing water across my face. Immediately the eyeliner started slipping down my cheeks. Bill stood leaning against the door frame, watching me. All of a sudden I felt conscious of every bit of me.
I looked up at me messed up reflection in the mirror for a split second. The eyeliner running down looked like black tears. My face shone with the hot water. I looked like crap. I didn't know what he'd seen the other night in this face. It looked everything but pretty to me. It had always seemed like that to me. Well, at first I hadn't noticed, but that was till I started getting all the stupid compliments, which I thought were shit. Oh, well, that's just me.
I snapped out of my flashback, wiping my face and turning and blinking in surprise again. That flashback had successful erased the thought of Bill from my head.
But now it was back again, wasn't it?
Yep.
He only smiled a tiny smile before stepping out of my way and walking back into the room.
I swear I was clueless sometimes.
"So…" he began, looking up at me. I arched an eyebrow as he walked up to me.
"I don't know. Gonna go to sleep now ma – "
But I didn't get to finish my sentence. His lips brushed gently against mine, and even the rest of me was completely was frozen, I managed to respond. He squeezed my hand, but neither of us was able to look at each other, let alone in the eye. There was a crazy silence, since neither of us knew what to do now.
"Goodnight." He said, catching my eye for just a split second. I couldn't even manage a response; I ended up looking to the side as a tiny smile crept across my face. My hand still in his, and he didn't walk away for a while. But when he did, I could still feel the tingle on my skin where his thumb had been rubbing circles into the back of my hand, I could still feel the slight pressure, him squeezing my hand before he let it go.
"Goodnight." I whispered to myself after the door connecting the two rooms shut softly.
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