Prison Island Break

Co-Written By Breech Loader and SonicFrank

Harley: Well, we're late again but I blame SonicFrank, for DARING to have a life outside of pandering to my every need!

Chapter Twenty-One: One-Six-Nine

Breakfast had gone as it normally did on a typical day at Prison Island Penitentiary, and Sonic the Hedgehog was feeling good all-around. The visitation he'd arranged for Shadow the day before had gone just peachy according to the phone chat he had with Mina, which meant Prison Ward Nate had his end of the bargain to keep up. He stepped into the recreation room, and would have frowned at the normality if he weren't in such a giddy mood. Vector and Espio were playing Chess, Knuckles was more than likely in the gym, Queen Bean was flailing about... All was going smoothly. Almost too smoothly. Then he remembered that the Cable Guy had been scheduled the night before.

So far, none of the other inmates knew anything about the new installation. Shadow was watching a science documentary, while Queen Bean, made to feel big by Bark's backup and Shadow's almost-reasonable temperament, was trying to get him to change to a channel about a war film.

"Come on, Shadow... change channels!"

"Get straight."

"I'll be your friend!"

"The only thing you have to sell, I don't buy, and if I wanted it I could take it anyway. Fuck off, Bean. Or shut up and watch something educational. Your choice."

"You're mean!"

"Deal with it." Shadow scowled, looking Bean with distaste. The main reason the green duck was still alive in prison was because even a psychopath like Shadow could recognise that beating something like Queen Bean to death would be an embarrassing and rather demeaning waste of an otherwise useful fist.

"He's right, y'know," Shadow heard Sonic talk from behind him. He turned to see the blue hedgehog leaning his arms on the couch's backrest from behind him. "This stuff's as boring as Algebra is to a second grader. Whaddya say we watch some action, eh Faker?" He looked over at Bean, and gave him a thumbs-up. "Bean wants to change the channel. The two of us together outrank you!"

"Yeah, but you can't beat me," Shadow replied, "And if you could, which you can't, Faker, it wouldn't be because of Queen Bean pulling on my quills and squawking a lot."

"Oh, blah blah blah, I'm a baddy, I'm in charge, I'm angry at the world for being saner than me - we've heard it all before! C'mon, gimme the remote!" he reached for it, trying to yank it out of Shadow's hands.

"I am not crazy, you pathetic waste of nine months!" Shadow snapped at Sonic, the rage flaring up in his red eyes, "And if Queen Bean is your friend, you'd better be careful when you're playing with her... she's got some things you don't want to... CATCH!" he grabbed a handful of Bean, and managed to throw the lightweight duck at Sonic. The duck and hedgehog collided, and Shadow chuckled sadistically, "Fags..."

Sonic landed right on his back, with Bean on top of him, "I'm a hardball!" Bean declared cheerfully.

Sonic looked down at Bean, "Dude... You already have a boyfriend, get off!" Afraid that Bark would get angry, Bean rolled off quickly, and Sonic stood up. "Come on, Faker, change the channel! If you don't like what I put on, I'll give it back. Promise!"

Shadow didn't look too ready to give in, "Which channel do you want?" he asked after a few seconds, compromising. He'd change to the channel Sonic asked for, if he didn't have to give up the remote.

"Try One-sixty-nine," the green-eyed hedgehog suggested with a grin. "If not that, then two-sixty-nine. It's one of the two." He chuckled at the look Shadow gave him, since to his knowledge, those channels didn't exist.

"We don't have those channels, spunk-for-brains," Shadow told him, "Those are porn channels and they're locked-" he changed channel to 169, "Out?"

The image of two women, a squirrel and a dog of some kind, sixty-nining each other rose onto the screen. Sonic leaned on his elbow, awaiting the response of the general population. And Shadow's.

"Holy hell! Since when did we get porn back?" Bean asked, leaning over the back of the couch, "You can never have too much porn!"

"My question is why we didn't see it sooner," Bark asked Shadow, "I mean, it does render the biggest collection of porn in the Northern hemisphere nearly worthless, doesn't it Shadow?"

"My question is how the hell the Faker knew it was there and I didn't!" Shadow pointed an accusing finger at Sonic without actually turning to look at him.

The hedgehog in question shrugged, "Because I wanted it! Duh!" He jumped over the couch, and sat enthusiastically next to Shadow. "All right! I think you can see that chick's kidneys! Carpet-munchers ROCK!"

Shadow flipped the remote to Bean for now, and turned to Sonic, "Alright Faker, since when were you on the leg?" he asked, referring to prisoners befriending guards, although one red eye kept roving back around to look at the porn.

"Since never and forever," Sonic replied with a casual grin, sliding his hands behind his head as he leaned back comfortably. He wouldn't be leaving the couch for a long time. "You can order porn on the telephone, y'know. You remember how to use one, right?"

"You can read, right?" Shadow retorted, uncertain whether this was a good thing or a bad thing. On the one hand, they finally had porn back after Knuckles had lost them it ages ago what with accidentally ordering underage Chinese male porn, "Wait, don't answer that..." On the other hand, it meant his trade as a paper pimp had just declined sharply, "We'll discuss this later," he snarled finally.

"Another argument from the wifey?" Sonic asked, still smirking casually. "Man, you're really beatin' me up with all your whining. I get some snatch and some boobies on the T.V. and you're still gripin'! I need a new cellie. Bean! You like boobs, right?"

"I do! I like boobs! Pick me!" Bean waved a hand in the air.

"She likes wearing them," Shadow snapped, poking at the bra Bean was wearing.

Sonic shrugged, "Beats bitchin' about 'em." By this point, more and more males, both human and Anthro alike, were gathering around the T.V., and cheering. "Lucky we got front seats, eh Girlfriend?"

"I'm not your girlfriend, Faker," Shadow growled at him, "Apart from the fact that I'm not a fag, if there was a woman in any relationship we don't have, it would be you."

Up behind them was coming Knuckles, with Tails in his pocket, "You get homo-porn along with all the regular stuff, Blue?" he asked.

"Hey, it was you ordering faggot's porn that lost us porn last time," Shadow reminded him.

"I didn't know that channel was underage Chinese porn!" Knuckles protested.

"That's your excuse for everything," Shadow returned, somewhat mockingly.

Somewhere from the back of the crowd, a lonely white hedgehog was curious as to what all the new-found commotion was about. He had to fight his way through, but after a few struggling minutes, he found himself at the front, just behind the couch. The sight that awaited him, he found repulsive. Of all the putrid, sinful violations of all that is Holy, there was pornography on the television. The convicts in this prison needed salvation, not this filth!

Shadow watched for a few more seconds, before he stopped, standing up and moving off the couch, thinking about Mina's arrival, and porn's arrival, "It is possible, I know it..." he muttered as Sonic took his place, "It is possible... I just need the right incentives..." he looked at Silver, who was not looking at the TV, but at him, "What're you eyeballing, Preacher?" he asked rudely.

"You shouldn't be watching such dirty programming," the amber-eyed hedgehog told him, "It's evil, un-Christ-like and filled with sin. You can save yourself, Shadow... You can go to Heaven..."

Shadow gave him a dirty look, then chuckled, "Give it a few months, Preacher," he told Silver, "When needs must, the Devil will drive. You'll get out of this place in twenty years or so. I won't. I'm in for the rest of my life. No parole. In the meantime, don't badmouth porn. Especially not when I'm getting an idea..."

"Idea?" Silver asked, with an almost worried expression.

"Never you mind, Preacher. You'll know it when you see it," Shadow returned, "In the meantime, don't you have potato chips to refund?" he asked with a mocking expression.

"No... I don't," Silver admitted, looking down at the ground in slight humility. His confidence and rebellious demeanour had apparently gone down at the hands of Espio, "I was... kind of hoping you might help me..."

"I could... if I wanted to," Shadow said, "But I don't stick my neck out for nothing. You still owe me respect for your arrival in Hell. What have you got to offer me that I can't just take?"

"Nothing..." Silver told him, looking up into his crimson eyes, "Except prayer. I can help you reach salvation... Eternal bliss, with you-know-who... All for the sake of a bag of chips... Even if you don't help me, I'd gladly help you for free, but I'm in need... I'm not sure what Vector will have done to me if I don't deliver..."

"Heh..." Shadow began to pace, "Prayer and eternal bliss... I was thinking of things somewhat more... worthwhile. Something that's actually tangible. You really should join the God Squad. They won't be able to help you but at least you'd dodge the daily beatings you're gonna get..." he rubbed his forehead, "Hmmm... the only difficulty is in getting the keys to the cuffs," he looked at his ankle cuff.

"Just as the beggar's only difficulty with riding is that he has no horse," Silver agreed.

"Quiet, you..." Shadow grimaced with thinking, "Question; why don't you ask the blue faker for help?" he asked, "He's more the 'giving' kind."

"I guess I'll try him next, it's just..." the white hedgehog paused for a moment, "I... can't help but feel pity... for you..." He didn't know it, but Silver had just made a terrible mistake...

"Pity?" Shadow's face froze up, and his eyes narrowed, "Pity?" He grabbed Silver's quills, "You're pitying me? You know, I'm not even going to waste time asking why, because when I'm done, the only pitiable thing in this room will be you!" he dragged Silver over to the wall.

"Wait- I didn't mean to- GAAAAHHHHH!"

With the ruckus thanks to the porn, nobody heard Silver shriek for help. Nobody was there to save him. And even if there were, the light-furred hedgehog knew by now that they would choose not to...