The Hideous RuffleTuffleback Chapter 21
"Okay, now what do we do?" Tuff exclaimed. They had just landed in the middle of the biggest warband Berk had sent to war in years. They were surrounded by Vikings brandishing spears, bolas, swords, hammers, axes, and any other implement of mass dragon-destruction the tribe could think of. As humans, they had dreamed of the day when they could take their place in the middle of that warband. Now, they'd achieved their dream, and it was about to become a nightmare.
Ruff tensed their wings, and Tuff was preparing to spring them off the ground, when a rising whistle stopped all activity around them. Everyone looked up to see a tiny black dot plunging earthward, growing larger by the second, until it launched a bright blue firebolt and pulled out of its dive. The firebolt struck the Queen and actually knocked the monstrous dragon over. They all knew how destructive a Night Fury could be, but they'd never seen that kind of power unleashed! Any thoughts of slaying normal-sized dragons were forgotten as they watched the Queen spread her enormous, tattered wings and give chase to the much smaller Night Fury.
"If she wasn't mad before, she's definitely mad now!" Tuff said.
"I'd hate to be in Toothless' boots right now," Ruff added.
"It's a good thing he doesn't wear boots," Tuff commented. The Night Fury was barely able to keep ahead of his huge pursuer. After a few seconds, he arced upwards and led the Queen into the clouds as the Vikings cheered him on. The Vikings were cheering for a dragon? For the next few minutes, all they saw were muted flashes in the clouds, all they heard were muffled blasts and an occasional bellow from the Queen. Whatever was happening up there, it didn't look like Toothless and Hiccup were losing. But what was happening?
"Look!" someone shouted. Toothless was plunging earthward, with the Queen close behind him, way too close. They saw the spark of a close-range firebolt, they saw the Night Fury veer out of the way, and they shielded their eyes and braced themselves as the Queen crashed into the rocks and exploded in a fireball that shook the very ground.
The clouds of dust and ash were settling. The battle was over. Now, where was the victor?
There was no cheering, no shouts of victory. The battlefield had fallen silent. Everyone was staring at something. Ruff and Tuff raised their heads so they could see over the crowd of Vikings. Other dragons were doing the same; some were the ones the teens had ridden, but others were from this nest. All they saw was Toothless, lying half-unconscious on the hard ground. His artificial tail was burnt and bent out of shape, and Hiccup's saddle was torn and... empty.
Tuff began to comment, but Ruff cut him off. "Just don't talk." He shut his mouth. No one else said anything, either, except the chief, who said something to Toothless, very quietly.
Toothless groaned, rolled over, opened his wings... and Hiccup was there! "He's alive! You've brought him back alive!" Now a cheer went up, accompanied by some heartfelt dragon roars.
"Okay, Tuff, you can say it now," Ruff said, relieved beyond words that Hiccup was alive, although she'd never admit it.
"Never mind," Tuff said. "It wasn't funny anyway." He breathed a sigh of relief.
The Vikings were soon busy repairing the least-damaged of their ships, preparing to go back to Berk. The dragons mostly retreated back into the nest; they still weren't convinced that these humans could change from bloodthirsty to peaceful in the space of a few hours. The Zipplebacks gathered in their cave to talk about the many strange things they'd seen today.
"Did I see you two save the life of a Viking?" Revenge asked.
"Yeah," Ruff said. "He's a friend of ours."
"Is he a dragon slayer?" Penance wanted to know.
"He wants to be, or at least he wanted to be, but he never killed one," Tuff answered. "He wasn't any better at it than we were."
"Do all the Viking failures hang out together?" Payback wondered.
"I used to think so," Ruff admitted. "But Hiccup turned out awesome –"
"But don't you tell anyone we said that!" Tuff warned them.
"...and I think we turned out okay, too."
"As a dragon, you mean?" Reprisal asked.
"Uhh... yeah, I guess so," Tuff nodded.
"So maybe you'd like to remain a Zippleback and join our community?" Payback suggested.
"No, one of us is definitely going to be a human again," Ruff said, and Tuff nodded at that, too.
"Okay," Revenge said. "The offer is still open. Who gets the bite that turns you back into a soft, pink, defenseless two-legged life form?"
"He does." "No, she does!" "You take it!" "No, you take it!"
"Hold it!" Payback and Penance said in perfect unison. Payback went on, "I thought neither of you wanted to be a dragon."
"We don't." "That's right."
"So why are you both saying the other one should be the human? If you hate dragonhood, then I'd think you would both want the bite."
The two heads of Ruffnut and Tuffnut glared at each other for a second.
"If he was stuck being a dragon without me, he'd be miserable." "If she had to be a dragon without me, she'd hate it."
"So what you're saying is that both of you are willing to accept a fate that you don't want, just so the other one can be better off?"
"Yeah." "I guess so."
"Seriously?" Penance marveled. "We dragons can be generous, but when the sparks hit the gas, it's usually every dragon for himself. You two would actually sacrifice your own futures for each other?"
"I guess so." "Yeah, I suppose." "But that doesn't mean I'm not going all soft on you!" "You'd owe me one, and don't you ever forget it!"
"Wow," said Payback and Penance in perfect unison. Penance went on, "We thought we had you humans all figured out, but everything we know about you guys is wrong!"
"I think we've changed our minds about our offer," Reprisal added, and Revenge nodded.
"Is that because we can't make up our minds?" Ruff asked, dismayed.
"Or is it because we're such a pain in the neck?" Tuff wanted to know.
"Neither," Reprisal said firmly. "But the phrase 'pain in the neck' is quite appropriate." Both heads of that Zippleback lunged forward, and each one bit one of the necks of Ruff and Tuff.
"Ow!" "Hey, that hurt!" "What did you do that for?" "Oh, I am hurt! I am... well, not very much hurt, but that stings!"
"Between the fact that you're pretty harmless, and the fact that you're so selfless, we don't have the heart to make either of you remain a dragon," Revenge explained. "The reverse dose of venom will take effect in about four hours. That's how long you'll have to wait before you both become human again, for keeps."
"We're... we're both going to be human again?" Ruff wasn't sure she'd heard it right.
"Yes; did I stutter?" Revenge snapped. "Don't tick me off, or I might change my mind!"
"Okay, don't tick off the dragons," Tuff thought out loud. "We can do that for four hours. Ruff, if that's how much time we've got, let's go flying, one last time."
"Even though you can't work the wings?" she asked.
"Flying is cool, no matter who does the flapping," Tuff decided. He sprang, she flapped, and they rose up out of the nest and into clear air.
"I'm going to miss being smart," he said once they were half a mile up.
"I'm going to miss flying," she agreed.
"But being human is what we were born for," he said.
"You'd never be able to convince yourself to mate with them," she decided.
"They wouldn't appreciate our kind of fun," he stated.
"We were born as people, and we ought to live as people," she nodded.
After a long pause, he said, "You know what?"
"What?"
"We're never going to be a dragon again, but we're never going to be dragon slayers, either."
"Yeah, you're right about that," she said. "We know too much about them. I know I don't want to kill them anymore, and I don't think you do, either. Besides, our tribe might be done fighting dragons anyway." She gestured with her head toward the rocky shore below them. A handful of dragons were ambling around, sniffing at Vikings and having their noses rubbed. Gobber was using hand signals to show a Gronckle where to push a partly-repaired longship so it would be easier to fix. Toothless stood vigil near a small tent that probably held Hiccup, while at least a dozen warriors without weapons stared at him from what they thought was a safe distance.
"It sure looks peaceful down there, doesn't it?" he observed.
"Yes, it does," came a voice from right behind them. Revenge and Reprisal had joined them in their flight around the island. "I wonder how long it will last."
"Probably until the next time the dragons raid Berk," Ruff grunted.
"I suppose you're – oh!" Revenge exclaimed. "But we don't have to raid your town again! We only did that to provide enough food for the Queen, and the Queen is dead! We won't raid any more Viking villages anywhere!"
"Ever again!" Reprisal chimed in. "We'd be crazy to try it! Why would we risk getting netted and speared by Vikings when the sea has all the fish we need, free for the taking?"
"I guess that makes sense," Ruff nodded.
"It makes perfect sense!" her brother amplified. "So if people and dragons don't have anything to fight over... then maybe we can learn to be friends."
"Friends?" Revenge had trouble with that. "Humans and dragons as friends? You're asking a lot! That's never been done."
"Yes, it has," Tuff went on. "Hiccup and Toothless are friends. If you look down, you'll see that Fishlegs and that Gronckle are getting along pretty well."
"He's giving it a belly-rub!" Ruff exclaimed with distaste.
"So?" Tuff retorted. "One of the things I hate most about being a dragon is I can't scratch where it itches. Maybe that's something people can do for dragons."
"Do you really think all those dragon-slayers can turn into dragon friends overnight?" Reprisal said doubtfully. "After all the years of hate and fighting and bloodshed? Do you think it can happen?"
"Why not?" Ruff wondered. "When we first met, you were ready to kill us because we used to be Vikings. Now we're flying through the sky together, talking about peace, even though the two of us are about to turn back into Vikings again." She sighed. "I admit, I'm going to miss the 'flying through the sky' part."
"You know, if making friends with Vikings is too hard, you don't have to make friends with all of them at once," Tuffnut suggested. "Just do like Toothless and that Gronckle did. Pick one human and make friends with him. Or her," he added as he saw Astrid doing a quick polishing job on the blue Nadder's leg scales. "We don't have to change the whole world all at once. One human at a time, or one dragon at a time will work just as well."
Revenge and Reprisal looked thoughtful. "Would two at a time work?"
"What do you mean?" Tuff asked.
"You two have opened our eyes to what humans are really like," Reprisal began. "You're a little crazy, but you're good people at heart. Not a bit like what we thought people were like."
"You're right about how we wanted to kill you at first," Revenge went on. "But the compromise deal was our idea, because we realized we were wrong about you. Now we see how really wrong we were, and we'd like to be among the first to start making it right."
Both heads took a deep breath; then Reprisal blurted out, "Can we stay friends, even after you're human again? We can take you flying with us, and you can scratch us where it itches, and... we think it would be better than just going our separate ways."
"We won't be able to talk to each other," Tuff observed.
"I think we'll understand each other well enough," Revenge answered. "We'll find a way to communicate."
"Would you guys be comfortable, living in the town where they kept you prisoner and beat you up for so long?" Ruff wondered.
"It will be a while before we'll even go close to that place where they beat us up," Reprisal said, "but if we can stay on the human side of the town with you, that wouldn't be so bad."
Back and forth they went, discussing the possibilities of humans and dragons living together. They completely lost track of time, until there was a brilliant flash of light, and two thin teen-agers found themselves tumbling out of the sky. They barely had time to draw a breath to scream before the Zippleback had gotten underneath them. Ruff wound up on the right-hand neck, and Tuff landed on the left.
"Thanks, Revenge," she gasped.
"You know, if you're going to stay with us, we have to make a change," Tuff said. "Those names of yours, Revenge and Reprisal... they've got to go. They aren't Viking-like, or gross, or scary, or anything. Can we call you something cool, like maybe... Barf and Belch?"
Revenge, the head Ruff was riding, looked back at him and rolled her eyes.
"I'm thinking that's a 'no'," Ruff decided.
"I'm thinking they were right when they said we'd find a way to communicate," Tuff added. "Maybe this human-dragon friend thing will work, after all."