It was past midnight and yet Malachai lay awake in bed; it seemed like he'd laid awake in this bed for a thousand nights, but sleep was an impossibility. He would not be able to rest, not with her in bed next to him. Bonnie slept on her side, her hand beneath her swollen belly. Her body was curved into a sensuous S that Malachai yearned to press his front against with such a ripe intensity that everything in his body throbbed and screamed.
But he couldn't touch her.
He hadn't touched her since she announced her pregnancy. She forbade it, for the baby's sake. Malachai cursed such a limitation, it killed him as much as it enraged him to be deprived of the feel of her, but he understood why she did it. Sex could be dangerous for the child, they both knew that, but once he and Bonnie touched, their common sense evaded the both of them, nothing else mattered in the world, nothing else existed, except for that touch, except for them and what would happen between them and the body-breaking pleasure that overcame them when they came together. It was all they could think about it. So he'd respected her ban, and yet couldn't help but deeply resent her for it. Before, when she'd refused to take him to her bed until they married, what agitated Malachai was the anticipation, the fantasy, the idea of them together. But now that he knew what it felt like, now that he'd been swallowed whole by her, the deprivation was unbearable and took a physical toll unlike before; he was parched and ablaze, constantly uncomfortable, his own skin felt like a prison.
Every time he saw Bonnie, his desire for her steamrolled his body and more times than he could count, the urge had caused him to leap to his feet and walk purposefully toward her only for his intellect to make an appearance at the last minute so that he stopped short of grabbing her by the wrist and guiding her to the nearest private place, and bowed to her instead, intoning, "My Queen."
When he looked up at her upon rising from his bow, he could see in her eye that she knew exactly what he'd been close to doing, he could see in the movements of her lips that she was desperate for him to do it, that she'd had her own ideas of what to do in that nearest private place and she was as inflamed as he was, and that realization made him harden to the point of dizziness that he'd flee whatever room they were in to rectify the issue to the best of his ability.
Sleeping next to her was torture and yet sleeping alone was not an option. He wouldn't be blessed with rest in either situation but at least with her next to him he wouldn't be frenzied with worry for the safety of his son or crazed with paranoia that she entertained male suitors in her chambers. It had been a suspicion that taunted him lately, a suspicion that arose and overcame him each time he thought he saw, no, each time he did see, a male suitor glance at her. In a way, he couldn't blame them, the Queen Bonnie was undeniable, a force that pulled every eye toward her, a splendour unlike the simple beauty of her sister. She was arresting. She'd consumed him utterly from the moment he laid eyes on her and so he knew all too well, the lengths men would go to for her — he understood that there may be one suitor out of the many who would dare to challenge Him, even kill Him, Him, their King, their Lord, for her. The possibility had driven Malachai to arrest various courtiers, men who's gaze lingered on Bonnie a little too long, men who didn't bow immediately upon her entrance into a room. He'd considered banishing all men from court but was talked down.
Bonnie moved in her sleep, her behind grazing Malachai's groin and the friction nearly made him lose himself in an instant. He blasphemed. How he wanted to slip behind her and allow himself the release he'd been denied for half a year. Just once. But he knew. It was never just once. It was never enough. He not only wanted to bury himself in her, he wanted to consume her, possess her utterly, the way she possessed him, it was always like that whenever they made love and for that reason, he always wanted more of her, more of her to take into himself. It was dangerous.
For the child. For the child.
Malachai unfastened his bottoms and began the futile effort of rubbing out his desire.
Bonnie heard it. His fast, shallow breath as he tended to himself, felt the movement of the sheet as his hand jerked and her gut tightened with an ache she could only slightly suppress by pressing her thighs together. It aroused her, knowing that even in this condition, he wanted her beyond reason and she'd silently prayed, no begged, that he'd touch her, press himself against her, so this burning that had engulfed her would finally extinguish. But she was glad he didn't. If he did, what inflamed her would only die down for an instant and then erupt tenfold, voracious and gluttonous, and demanding for more. When they'd been newly married, they hadn't left their bed chamber for a fortnight, if he touched her now, she didn't know when the kingdom would see either of them again.
She pressed her palm against her belly. Her son was kicking. It was because her heart was beating so fast. She smiled slightly. He made it all worth it. Everything she did.
I remember when I was with Mary. The way her little feet
Caroline.
Bonnie gritted her teeth as she looked up to the window. Nothing was there. Nothing was really there. She knew that. And yet she saw her. Caroline, pale as ever, standing in a white gown, her face turned down at Bonnie in wintry disdain.
Have you seen her? Mary. Have you looked in on her? Do you have any human decency?
Bonnie closed her eyes. Ever since Caroline passed away, she'd seen her everywhere. In the corridors, in her bedchambers, when she was with His Majesty. She heard Caroline too, her voice reverberated throughout her head, hissing doubts and misgivings that wormed through Bonnie's skull and slithered toward her heart so that she was mad with insecurity.
You are not the real Queen. You will never be the real Queen. You will never be His Majesty's true love.
On more than one occasion Bonnie had screamed out loud, for the voices to stop, to be left alone. It was highly fortunate that each time she'd been alone. Or with Damon.
But Bonnie knew it was all a lie. She was the sole owner of His Majesty's heart, the sole object of his affection, of his desire. He'd imprisoned and killed for her — all necessary. These victims were deserving of their punishment. Treacherous and slanderous and spiteful — all subjects who wished to turn Malachai against her, that was what enraged Bonnie the most, that they were so keen on poisoning what she and him had.
He will discover who you are. The lying. The scheming… He will denounce you … like he did me…
"Be silent," Bonnie whispered. "Be silent…"
She knew Caroline had had no claim on him. Never did. And so her ghost had settled for Bonnie.
Bonnie strode through the corridor, her ladies in waiting walking behind her. The female courtiers curtsied as she passed but the men bowed as low as they could and they wouldn't stand up straight until she left the hall all together. They feared for their freedom, for their lives in case the King deemed a stare too lecherous, a tone too knowing. No man wanted to be the example, their corpse to be the proof that the Queen belonged to no one but herself and her husband. Of course, Bonnie could feel their awareness of her, their interest. Her dress was a gown of crimson satin dotted with gold fabric, even with her swollen belly, the bodice complemented her frame and tempted every gaze toward her even though no man dared look.
All of them know…
Bonnie kept her face impassive but picked up her pace so the ladies behind her nearly jogged to keep in tow.
They all know you had me poisoned. They all know you're a fraud.
Caroline was walking alongside her, leaning over to whisper into Bonnie's ears, her words crowding Bonnie's head.
Bonnie started to scream inwardly. Leave. Me. Alone.
They will expose you. Expose you for who you truly are.
Bonnie continued to quicken her pace, trying to outwalk the ghost next to her.
Begone, spirit!
And he will abandon you once they do.
"BEGONE!" Bonnie screamed and then clutched her head, sinking onto the floor. There was a rustle of movement and scandalized gasps as her ladies rushed to her.
"Your Majesty! Your Majesty are you all right?"
"Should we call the physician?"
"Your Majesty, where does it hurt?"
"Out of my way, you foolish girls! Out of my way!"
Damon pushed his way through the group of ladies and descended on Bonnie, grabbing her by the shoulders and standing her up. He took Bonnie by the arm, ignoring the scandalized expressions of some of the courtiers and the bewildered looks of others. He led Bonnie into an empty room, slamming the door behind him. She walked into the middle of the room and sank into a chair by a round table.
"What is it? What's wrong?" he said sharply. "Has something happened to the baby?"
"No," said Bonnie, putting a reflexive hand on her belly. "It's her."
"Her?"
"Caroline."
Damon swore. "For the love of God, she's dead, Bonnie!"
"And now she haunts me! I wanted her gone from this world to make things easier but now her spirit has clung to me."
Bonnie put her hands on the armrest so she could lift herself up to her feet. She began pacing in circles, shaking her head, rubbing her temples.
"She will not let me rest, she will not give me any peace. What if she tries to harm my son?"
Damon furrowed his eyebrows, staring incredulously at her. "Pull yourself together!"
"What if he takes other women to bed?" she said suddenly. "What if he has forgotten what is when he and I are together, it's been so long since we've indulged in each other."
"That's absurd, the King is quite literally madly in love with you," spat Damon. "How many people must he kill for you to get ahold of yourself?"
"She told me," said Bonnie, looking at Damon with frenzied eyes. "She told me he'd find out who I truly am and he'd abandon me!"
"You're blabbering nonsense!"
"He can't," said Bonnie as if she hadn't heard Damon. "He can't abandon me, not after what I've become because of him."
"Yes!" Damon yelled.
Bonnie looked at him sharply.
"What you've become," he continued. "What happened to the woman you were before, the woman of poise and conviction, the calculating woman with a formidable air?"
"You destroyed her!" Bonnie yelled. "You and Papa, you put me in the King's way and now-"
"And now you're consumed by him! Utterly!"
"YES," said Bonnie.
Damon picked up a vase and threw it across the room. Bonnie glared at him.
"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR SENSES?" she screamed.
Damon hissed furiously. "You were not supposed to fall in love with him! That was not the plan!"
"Plans change!"
"Is that what this is? A new plan? If so, dear cousin, please enlighten me in what you acting like a blubbering idiot is meant to accomplish!"
Bonnie pushed Damon so that he staggered backward. "What more do you want from me? I got rid of Caroline, I got Lockwood imprisoned, I became Queen and I am now with child! You dare to find fault with me because I have the audacity to be susceptible to love like any other human of this world?"
"You were supposed to be better than any other human of this world! You were supposed to use him! You were supposed to stay removed!"
"This isn't something that I can control! Do you think I enjoy how much the King overwhelms me? Do you think I enjoy the anxiety I suffer when he's away from me for too long, do you think I enjoy the burning? The never-ending, constant burning for him? I AM GOING MAD."
"And I'm going mad watching you!" said Damon. "I can't stand it! The way you two are delirious with one another, wrapped up in each other, even with a gaze, it's enough to turn the stomach! Curse Lorenzo for wishing this upon you. Curse you for falling victim to Him!"
Bonnie stared at Damon, alarmed and furious. "That's what this is about," she said. "You aren't upset that I fell in love, you're upset that the King is the object of my affection."
Damon furled his upper lip but said nothing in response.
"I never loved you," she said harshly.
"No, you despised me," said Damon. "But you felt more toward me than any other man who crossed your path. Lorenzo only inspired vague amusement in you. Your other suitors inspired nothing but I, I inspired something in you and now-" He shook his head, gritting his teeth. "I hate you. I hate that you did this to me!"
"How you feel is not my concern."
"Neither is how you feel," snapped Damon. "So shut up about Caroline. You made a choice and now you must deal with the consequences and you must deal with them calmly, you must deal with your jealousies and your neediness and your paranoia calmly or else-" He walked up to her and placed his hand on her belly. "- Your frenzies are going to harm the baby and if you lose this child, I swear to you, not only will your Precious Malachai surely abandon you but so will Elena, so will your father. So will I."
There was a sudden bang and Bonnie and Damon turned sharply toward the door. When they saw Malachai standing outside of it, Damon removed his hand and made a low bow.
At first Malachai thought he was blinded by red. He was told Damon had taken Bonnie to a private room - that alone had made him ball his hands into fists yearning to hit and pummel and crush. When he'd reached the room and saw the door was closed, his entire body seemed to vibrate with rage. But when he entered the room … when he entered the room and saw Damon's hand upon Bonnie's belly, that rage had become murderous, Malachai wanted to set everything around him on fire.
"Your Majesty," said Damon.
Malachai's eyes narrowed. He knew Damon didn't think he could hear that hatred, that disgust, that bitterness in his tone, the resentment that Malachai had taken Bonnie away from him.
"Out," said Malachai quietly. "I would like a word with my Queen."
"Majesty." Damon scurried out of the room, his body hunched over, and closed the door as he left.
Bonnie stared at Malacahi, her chest heaving, her head swimming. She was tittering on the edge, on the verge of descending into a vortex of complete chaos and the way Malachai looked at her, that fury, that possessiveness - an argument would be enough to push her off.
He glanced at the shattered glass on the floor. "He threw this?"
"He was upset."
"Why?" said Malachai. "What would make him that upset? What right does he have to be this upset by you that he would do this?"
"He was simply distraught that I'd fainted," said Bonnie.
"So he took you here?" said Malachai. "Behind closed doors?"
"Just what are you implying?"
"I have long told you that your cousin is too familiar with you!"
"We are family!"
"Family does not look at each other the way he looks at you! The way he watches you. He tracks you."
"He's overprotective."
"HE IS OUT OF LINE," said Malachai. "As are you!"
Bonnie snapped her head toward him. "What on earth are you talking about?"
"I haven't been able to touch you, properly touch you, in two hundred and twelve days! I feel every second of that deprivation, Bonnie, I'm in constant agitation, I am deranged with want for you and you let him, you let him -"
"It's nothing!" Bonnie yelled. "It meant nothing!"
"You think it means nothing that a lowly lord was able to enjoy something the King has been prohibited to enjoy despite it being my right?"
"That is not what I meant!"
"It's what you said!"
Bonnie glared at him. She felt it, felt the slip, felt the fall into chaos. "Why are you so keen to catch me in a lie?" she said. "Are you looking for an excuse, a way to abandon me?"
"I am the King, I do not need to find an excuse to abandon you!"
She screamed and upended the table, the thud reverberating in the room.
Malachai roared. "BONNIE, THE BABY."
"You just admitted that you will abandon me! I will not let you do it!"
Caroline's voice. He was never truly yours…
"If I were to abandon you, I would have done it before we wed!"
You were simply game to him …
"Who is she?" said Bonnie.
Malachai gesticulated wildly. "Who? WHO IS WHO?"
"The lady in waiting you are pursuing this time!" she yelled.
You cannot truly believe he would abstain for you again…
"That is your pleasure, is it not?" she yelled. "To cavort with the ladies in your wife's service? A fetish of yours perhaps? WHO IS IT?"
"Bonnie -"
"Is it Margaret? Hmm? I've seen the way you look at her-"
"Bonnie-"
"Those lecherous eyes, those-"
"I WISH!" Malachai yelled. "I wish I could bury myself in her, enjoy myself with her, with any woman who isn't you, I wish I could expel my desire and forget you, forget my passion for you for even a moment, BUT I CAN'T. IT MUST BE YOU. ALWAYS. I am cursed with you! And then to see you, to see you with him, see him touch you, touch the belly carrying my son? I swear I could kill you!"
Bonnie slapped him so his head whipped to the side. The sting on her palm enlivened her body. The vortex had led her past hysteria, past rage to a desire that seized every part of her, she wanted to damn him even more, refresh that curse, bind him to her, swallow him whole. Malachai seized her by the arms, his eyes wide with a furious passion, his skin flushed red, his jaw tightened. He wanted her something terrible, she could see it, feel it, but she remembered their bargain, their child.
This was why they couldn't touch.
"We can't," said Bonnie. "We can't."
Malachai shook his head and thrust his lips onto her, knotting his fingers in her hair, his mouth possessive, her response furious and wanting, her heart pounding, her lips raw, her skin hot. Abruptly, she pushed him away.
"Something is wrong!" she said, sinking onto the floor, holding her belly. "Something is wrong!"
Malachai rushed to the door and wrenched it open. "Call the physician!"
"Majesty," said a servant.
"If he does not arrive within the next three minutes, if something should happen to the Queen while she waits for him, both you and his life shall be forfeit, you understand?"
"Majesty." The servant bowed and then ran down the hall.
The screaming lasted for hours. Malachai could hear it even from his chambers. Ear-splitting, gut-wrenching screams that twisted his heart and drew tears from his eyes. The sun had been up when Bonnie was taken to her bed to give birth and now it was well past late night. Malachai had refused all food, all company, he only brooded in the horror of Bonnie's screams.
There was a hesitant knock on the door. "Your Majesty…"
"Enter," he whispered.
After a beat, the physician shuffled into the room, his head bowed.
"What is it?" said Malachai. "I still hear her screaming." His voice turned sharp. "Who is with my wife?"
"Three of my colleagues," said the physician quickly.
"What news do you have for me?" said Malachai wearily.
"Your Majesty, we have reached a critical point."
"What does that mean?"
The physician pressed his lips together. "I'm afraid, you must decide between the life of your child or the life of the Queen."
Malachai's eyes flashed and abruptly, he stood up and struck the physician. "WHY WOULD YOU SAY SUCH NONSENSE?"
"Apologies, your Majesty," said the physician, bowing. "I am afraid, the positioning of the child is -"
"ENOUGH," said Malachai. He sunk back into the chair. "Enough."
The sudden burst of sunlight made Bonnie open her eyes and groan. She was sore all over, weak and confused.
"Baby," she muttered. "Where's my child?"
"Dead," said a cold voice.
Bonnie raised her head slightly. Damon was standing at the foot of her bed and Alaric was sitting in an armchair next to her. Elena had been the one to draw open the curtains.
"D-dead," Bonnie repeated. "Are you certain?"
"Yes," said Alaric.
Tears sprung to Bonnie's eyes, she started to hyperventilate, her vision was blurry. Dead. Her baby was dead.
"No," she said. "No, no, no, no…"
"Yes, I'm afraid your daughter was sacrificed for your life," said Damon harshly.
Bonnie let out a wail and Elena rushed over to the bed, holding her in her arms. "I am so sorry, Bonnie," she said.
Bonnie held onto Elena's arm, sobbing, screaming. "She was innocent, she was innocent in all of this, I … how could she be… she, I … oh my God, how could she be dead?"
"Because the King decreed it!" said Alaric. He slammed his hand down on the armrest. "It is a good thing too, that child was monstrous, full of deformities. How could you let this happen?"
"I DIDN'T LET ANYTHING HAPPEN!" said Bonnie.
"Not only did you fail to bring a child to term, had the King chosen to save the life of the child instead of you, he would've been stuck with a deformed girl he probably would've had the servants drown! Where would our family be then? You can't do a single thing right!"
"Papa, that's a bit harsh," said Elena. "Bonnie has just had-"
"You stay out of this," said Damon. "This doesn't concern you."
"She's my sister! And she is in pain. Allow her to mourn the loss of her child!"
"It is only a girl," said Damon.
"Is a mother not allowed to mourn the passing of her child, girl or boy?"
"Not this mother! She is not a peasant," said Damon.
"She is still a mother!"
Damon's eyes flashed. "You should leave us, Elena."
"No," she said defiantly.
Damon raised his eyebrows and then turned to Alaric. "Uncle, I confess I did not plan on telling you this because I was going to deal with the situation in due time and we have other, more important matters to contend with…"
"What could you possibly have to say at a time like this?"
"Your youngest daughter has been cavorting with a knight," said Damon.
Elena's eyes widened.
"Sir Stefan. I have it on good authority that he has taken her maidenhead."
Elena disentangled from Bonnie and stood up from the bed, Bonnie curling into a ball, gripping the sheets as she cried.
"DAMON."
Alaric slammed his hand down for a second time. "Have you lost your senses? A knight? The sister of the Queen should not debase herself with a KNIGHT."
"Papa, I love him, I-"
"OH I DO NOT CARE." He stood up. "WORTHLESS BOTH OF YOU. You were stupid enough to give that man your maidenhead! I should disown you! I am cutting off your allowance!" he spat.
"Papa, I -"
"Get out of my sight! Get out!"
Elena glared at Damon, teary-eyed.
"This is what happens when you don't obey one of my orders," he muttered.
She squeezed her eyes shut and ran out of the room.
Bonnie kept crying.
"Stop raving," snapped Alaric.
"She killed her, she killed her…"
"Oh not this!" said Damon.
Alaric furrowed his eyebrows. "Who killed…"
"Caroline," cried Bonnie.
Alaric turned to Damon who rolled his eyes.
"Is she serious?"
"She's grief-stricken," said Damon.
"Bonnie, pull yourself together," said Alaric. "You are still young. You have time to conceive another child with His Majesty."
She raised her head from the sheets, her face tear-stained, her eyes wild. "Where is His Majesty?"
"He hasn't left his chambers since the ordeal," said Damon.
"How long ago was that?" said Bonnie.
"Four days," said Alaric. "He gave the physicians the order to save you and then shut himself in his chambers, not before issuing a decree to execute the head physician who failed in delivering the child."
"I must go to him!"
"He does not need to see you like this," said Alaric. "He chose to save your life which means that he is indeed in love with you but if he sees you like this he would declare you insane and we have too much at stake for that to happen."
"I will be driven insane if I don't see my husband. I can't stay in this room any longer!" She threw her covers off of her but Damon stepped forward and pressed her back onto the bed.
"You are too weak to move still," he said. "In any case, the King is aware that you are now conscious."
Bonnie looked at him and his eyes glinted vindictively. "He does not wish to see you."
Malachai hadn't left his chambers in four days. He hadn't drawn the curtains, lit the candles, allowed himself to be shaved.
He'd heard Bonnie was awake but could not bring himself to see her. He was embroiled in fury. A daughter. A deformed baby girl. That was what his wife had been carrying in her belly. He seethed at the thought. A daughter. Unhealthy. That … that … that was no child of his. He was the King. He was ordained by God. His issue were destined to be strong, to be sons. Abruptly, his mind flashed back to Damon's hand on Bonnie's belly, to Lorenzo's longing gazes. He yelled, throwing a glass of wine against the wall and then stood up.
"READY THE HORSE."
Tyler had sores all over, his skin was cracked and dirt-grubbed, his body confined by chains. He looked barely alive, standing, bloody, in his cell when Malachai visited him.
"Majesty," said Tyler. His voice was hoarse and nearly inaudible; he'd had no occasion to speak often. "I would bow but I'm in a bit of a bind," he said.
Malachai laughed and a ghost of a smile flickered on Tyler's lips.
The guards had provided Malachai a chair and he sat down, eyeing Tyler's discomfort. "Do you resent me, Tyler? For having you live in such a state?"
"No, Your Majesty."
"The Queen wanted you executed," said Malachai. "I couldn't bring myself to do it." He paused. "Bonnie is the Queen."
"I have heard," said Tyler, nodding stiffly. "I wanted to send my congratulations but alas…" He looked down at his chained body.
"How does our marriage make you feel, really?" said Malachai.
"Happy." Tyler cleared his throat and then spat out some blood. "I had never seen your Majesty so besotted with a woman, it was like … your love for her possessed you."
"I have never in my life felt anything like it," said Malachai. "Did you ever think I would abstain from pleasure for a woman?"
Tyler shook his head. "Your appetite was far greater than mine and I couldn't even abstain for a day. That was how I knew you loved her."
Malachai sat silently for a minute and then spoke. "Back then, when we would pursue our game … did a woman ever lie to you about her virginity?"
Tyler raised his eyebrows. "Quite often. It's almost a custom at court."
Malachai nodded. "Bonnie said I was her first, that only her husband would take her maidenhead but when I finally took her to my bed, she was …" His eyes darkened. "She couldn't give me a son."
Tyler stood silently.
"Not only that but the child, it was … I would never conceive such a child…"
Neither man said anything for a long period of time until Tyler finally broke the silence. "When Your Majesty asked me to research the Queen, I had discovered …" He cleared his throat for a second time. "I had discovered that Elena was considered the more beautiful sister, it is true, but Bonnie … she was a woman who attracted obsessions."
Malachai clenched his jaw.
"She was quite the free spirit in Italy, allowing men to visit her bedchambers even without an escort."
His breathing grew more agitated.
"Perhaps Her Majesty is unaccustomed to the propriety of England? Perhaps, she practices such a freedom of morals even here?"
Malachai was blinded by red once more. The mere thought of Bonnie indulging herself with other men, servicing other men, even before she'd met him possessed him with an intense jealousy only outmatched by his desire for her. It was a jealousy that compelled him to yell, compelled him to move, that made his hands tremor, his feet shake, he would break apart buildings with this jealousy. When his sight refocused, Tyler was on the floor, his head caved in, blood seeping onto the straw used as a bed. Next to Malachai was the chair he'd been sitting on, broken in half.
He sighed and then opened the door where four guards stood watch. They peered into the cell to see Tyler's corpse.
"Dispose of the body," said Malachai. "I will state a private execution was commissioned."
"Majesty."
"When I get back to the palace, I am issuing two execution orders and a decree to examine any and all men seen to have acquainted themselves with the Queen. Tell your men to make the arrests."
"Yes, Your Majesty."
"Your Majesty, please!"
"Let me through!"
"Your Majesty-"
"Careful! If we harm her, he will kill us all."
"Allow me through then!"
"Your Majesty, the King has ordered-"
Bonnie pushed open the double doors to Malachai's office with a force she never knew she had, the force of being unable to see him for nearly a month. The guards rushed in after her but then took a step back when she let started to yell. In the middle of the room there was a woman with her grown around her waist, Malachai sitting at the window behind his desk, watching her.
Bonnie's gut dropped, her insides writhed in anger, she pressed her hand against her chest, everything in her body screaming. "What is this?"
Malachai stood up. "Bonnie-"
"No, no, no WHAT IS THIS."
Bonnie started to walk toward the woman, her hand outstretched; the woman shuffled backwards, frightened. Malachai rushed toward Bonnie, holding her in his arms before she could get any closer.
"No, don't touch me!" Bonnie struggled. The vortex had claimed her completely. "I HATE YOU."
"Stop it!" he held her tighter.
"LET ME GO."
"Guards! Escort the Lady Margaret out."
There was a shuffle of commotion that Bonnie didn't pay attention to but when she heard the door close, she let out a wail, putting her hands on Malachai's face, raking her fingernails on his cheeks. He yelped in pain but held her tighter.
"My cousin has just been murdered and you're here doing this?"
He glared at her, finally letting her go. "Damon was executed at my pleasure, not murdered!" His expression was contorted with rage. "Is that what you ran here for, to see if you could plead for him before it was too late?"
"And if I hadn't come, what would you have done with her?" said Bonnie. "What did you do with her?"
"Nothing!" he yelled. "Nothing happened, nothing could happen, I couldn't do anything but I wish I could've! I wish I could've wanted her the way I want you, I wish I could've taken her all over this room! I wish could've humiliated you, hurt you, the way you've hurt me!"
Bonnie screamed. "I've done nothing but love you!"
"Do not lie to me! You came running in here, pleading for his life!"
"He's my cousin!"
"Your cousin or your lover? That child was not mine!"
Bonnie put her hands to her head. "THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS. I have been trying to tell you this for weeks! I have taken no other man, especially not him! Our daughter-"
"She was not our daughter! The way he touched your belly-"
"Malachai, LISTEN TO ME."
"Why? Why should I believe you?" Malchai's eyes flashed. "Everything out of your mouth is a lie!"
"No, it's-"
He whirled on her. "Were you or were you not a virgin when we met?"
Bonnie opened her mouth and then closed it but didn't say anything. Malachai's face crumpled and then he grabbed at his hair.
"I knew it! I KNEW IT!" He rammed his fist into a wall over and over until his knuckles were bloodied.
"STOP IT," said Bonnie.
"You should be executed with him, with him and Lorenzo and all of the other men you've taken to your bed, I should have you hanged!"
"Stop saying there've been other men, when could there have been other men? I have not wanted-"
"Stop STOP LYING TO ME. Your family manoeuvered me, you have made a fool out of me, pretending to love me and still, still I can't rid myself you!"
"DON'T YOU DARE SO I DON'T LOVE YOU," said Bonnie. "You have no idea what I have done because I love you!"
"Because you love your position of Queen!"
"No title is worth the torment I have put myself through for you, no title is worth my sanity, I have endured all of this because I love you! I have damned my soul for you!"
"LIES, ALL OF IT."
"I killed Caroline!" Bonnie yelled.
Malachai looked at her, shock widening his eyes. "You what?"
"I had her poisoned," said Bonnie. "I was so afraid that they would make you go back to her, that you would have to leave me for her so I had her killed and she's been haunting me every since! Every single day! She's here in this room right now! I've endured her for you! And then I find you here with that wench Margaret-"
"NOTHING HAPPENED WITH MARGARET."
"Why should I believe you when you can't even believe me?" said Bonnie. "You wish you could've taken Margaret all over this room? If I am to be accused of adultery I wish I would've fucked half the men you've accused me of being with!"
"Stop it," said Malachai.
"Damon's exploits were never quiet ones," she said. "I heard them in our house. I will admit the moans made me curious."
"I SAID STOP."
Malachai seized her by her shoulders and slammed her against the wall. "Stop it! Stop!"
But Bonnie couldn't stop. The words poured out of her, vicious and mean-spirited, the image of him and Margaret alone in this room still stung her, his refusal to see her after their child had been born was a constant pain in her chest. She loved him to the detriment of her own sanity and he questioned her loyalty to him. He needed to suffer for it.
"Maybe he should've been my first!"
Malachai blinked, red returning to his vision. "Who was it?" he said. He shook her. "Who has had you? It was Lorenzo wasn't it?"
"Yes," said Bonnie harshly. "More than once. I reached euphoria the first time."
Images flashed in his mind tinted in red; writhing bodies, husky moans, Bonnie's expression as she reached her climax. His spit was bitter, his stomach was roiling. Sick. He was going to be sick with anger.
Sudden pain bit at his hands. He blinked again and realized Bonnie's nails were clawing at his wrists, his hands were clasped around her throat. He let go swiftly, Bonnie sinking onto the floor and gasping for breath, and he back away from her, his hands trembling.
"Choking me won't change anything," she gasped.
Malachai gritted his teeth, pinching his nose with his thumb and forefinger. "I told you to stop!"
"I never said such a thing to Lorenzo," said Bonnie. "I begged him to have me, I was insatiable for him."
The images didn't stop. They grew clearer with each blink. He backed away from her, his hands to head. Sounds cluttered his mind. Her sighing. Lorenzo's groaning, each noise brought an image: gyrating hips, hands clenching sheets, lip-biting. His body was agitated with the vividness, he stumbled as he walked away.
"SHUT UP. SHUT UP NOW, BONNIE."
"But if Damon were to have me … I confess to fantasizing about it, even with you still ins
Malachai pictured that now; groans coming from behind closed door, Bonnie enamoured by the noise, pleasing herself to it, thinking about it each time they were entwined, biting her lip to keep from saying another man's name. Everything started to go hazy, his sight was blurred, he felt the need to escape the room, escape his head, escape her taunts.
Lorenzo, she moaned. Damon, she sighed.
"GET OUT OF MY HEAD."
Malachai started to run, as if he were trying to outrun his thoughts, but tripped over the carpet and fell backwards, his head slamming against the side of the desk, his body landing with a sickening crunch. Bonnie screamed.
"MALACHAI."
She rushed forward and kneeled next to him, slapping her hand to her mouth when she saw the angle of his neck. "GET UP, WAKE UP, I WAS LYING. IT WAS A LIE. ALL OF IT. GET UP NOW."
She shook him, her hands pawing at his doublet. "NO, NO, NO. WHY! WHY DID I - WHY DID YOU - YOU IDIOT YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BELIEVED ME!"
Her screams tore through her, shredding her throat, robbing her of air, she couldn't stop herself, calm herself down, all she could was scream.
The doors burst open. There were loud gasps and exclamations, screams of surprise.
"WHAT HAPPENED?"
"IS THE KING DEAD?"
"YOUR MAJESTY, WHAT HAPPENED?"
Bonnie started hyperventilating. "I killed him," she said. "I killed him. I killed him. I killed him." She couldn't stop herself. "I killed him."
"Did she say she killed the king?"
"She did! She killed the king!"
"I killed him. I – I -"
"Bonnie Bennett," said a voice. "You are currently under arrest for-"
"No," she whispered. "No."
She looked around the room, the guards crowding her, the spears in her face, everything was dizzying, she was spinning, she was descending further and further.
"You bastard whore! You have confessed to killing the King! Arrest her!"
She started screaming, throwing herself onto Malachai's body, holding onto him. "NO. LEAVE ME HERE, LEAVE ME HERE WITH HIM. DO NOT MAKE US PART."
"Leave his body in peace!"
She clung to his arm. "NO, NO, I WILL NOT GO!"
Hands grabbed at Bonnie, roughly pulling at her arms, her hair, her legs, but she wouldn't let go of Malachai's body, she wouldn't part from him, not again. An order to break her arm or sever her hand was uttered and all the spears descended upon her at once. In the confusion, a blade had pierced her in the chest, connecting with her heart, she gasped and -
Bonnie bolted up right, panting and gasping, her hand pressed against her chest. She was sweaty and confused, disoriented. She looked around, this didn't look like a palace, it didn't look like the 16th Century, it looked like … it looked like home. Her home.
Her heart was racing.
That couldn't have been a dream. She was there. She felt it. Lived it. It was like the time … Bonnie's eyes narrowed. It was like the time she'd experienced being back at the car wash, when she met Kai in the woods.
Taking a deep breath, she looked to her right. Just like last time, Kai was sitting at the coffee table, his hands clasped beneath his chin, watching her.
"I didn't listen to you," he said. "I followed you back to your house."
Bonnie gritted her teeth and reached for the closest thing to her - a remote - and threw it at him. He ducked and the remote broke apart on the wall behind him.
"I think you broke it," he said. "There was a Friends marathon on tonight too."
"What the hell was that?" said Bonnie. She was still clutching at her chest. "Was that another one of your alternate universes?"
"No," said Kai seriously. "No, that was your past life."
Bonnie gesticulated wildly. "You have got to be kidding me!"
"I learned the spell from a psychic, the same one who showed me," said Kai. "I thought if I killed him I could absorb his powers but it didn't really work out that way."
"I don't-"
"Don't say you don't believe me," said Kai, looking at her. "We went through this when I brought you back to that day at the car wash, this isn't the kind of thing I would lie about, Bonnie, it defeats the purpose. Anyway, you felt it, there is no way I could make an illusion that visceral, even I'm not that good and I'm pretty fucking amazing."
Bonnie shook her head. "I think I might be sick."
"How many times," said Kai, staring at her. "How many ways will you make me prove that there's no escaping this. We're inevitable"
"You can't possibly think that showing me the amount of destruction we caused in our past lives is going to make me accept this - this -" Bonnie clenched her hair. "God, there isn't a bad enough word to describe what we are."
"What we have is powerful."
"What we have is poisonous!" Bonnie stood up. "No matter what freaking century we're in, we ruin everything around us!" She started to pace. "We tore apart an entire kingdom! How many lives did we destroy? Caroline, I, I can't believe I- Oh my God!" She put her hands to her mouth and started to cry. She looked at Kai.
"Thank you," she said. "Thank you for showing me that because I didn't know how I was ever going to walk away from you and it killed me, it killed me thinking I would never be free of this but what you showed me…"
Bonnie shook her head. "We're already going down that path. What we did to Jeremy, how I alienated Elena … this has been destroying the life I've made for myself but I will not let it destroy them."
Kai's eyes widened slightly in panic. "What are you saying?" he said.
Bonnie didn't anything and walked into the kitchen. There was still glass on the floor, she hadn't gotten around to cleaning up.
"BONNIE, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?"
He followed her into the kitchen.
"I'm saying this is over!" she said, looking for a bottle of alcohol. Kai had broken the bottle of bourbon.
"You don't mean it," said Kai.
She turned around to face him. "I do," she said. "This is sick. We are sick, we're like a cancer! Because what happened back then," Bonnie bit her lip. "What I felt back then…" she heaved. "That could happen now, I know it can. And I hate it! I hate that even now you can bring me to that wretched place that you brought me to then! The way this makes me desperate and violent, I…" She found a bottle of vodka and took a swig. "I will not let myself destroy others for you! That is where I cross the line. We are done. This is done. I am done."
"No," said Kai. "No, you would miss it. You always say you're done and then whether it's two days or six weeks, you're back, fiending for me, fiending for this, I've seen you when you try to walk away from us, you go insane."
"I do," said Bonnie. "I do and I'll have to live with that, live with how much I want you, want this, live with what kind of person that makes me, but I will do it, Kai, I will live with it."
Kai could hear the finality in her voice and was seized with a fear he never felt before. "No," he said. "No, I won't let you go."
"I'm not asking you to let me go, I'm LEAVING."
"And I will follow you," said Kai. "I won't let you leave! I won't let you walk away from me! I told you, this is inescapable,
Bonnie stared at him. "You're right," she said. "You will."
Abruptly, she bashed the vodka bottle against the counter and with the shard remaining in her hand, stabbed herself in the neck.
In an instant, Malachai bit his wrist and sped over to her, pressing his wound to her lips so she could drink his blood. Bonnie coughed and spluttered but she had to accept it.
He removed his hand. "YOU THINK I WASN'T READY FOR THAT?"
Bonnie stared at him, heaving. "I'll just keep trying," she muttered.
Kai looked at her, nodding. "You're right," he said.
And he snapped her neck.