First: so sorry for the delay in posting. I've been struggling for the past couple of weeks with chronic toothache and sinusitis. Am almost all better – had surgery on Monday and now it's Wednesday and I'm feeling tons brighter. A mouthful of stitches is way better than searing pain and misery. Woe is me...obviously. :)

Apology over...let's get back to the story. Thank you so much for reading and for your effusively positive reviews. They make all the difference, truly. Keeping this story going, finding the enthusiasm for it is so much easier when I know that people are excited to read more.

Here's the other half of that conversation – hope you like it.

Disclaimer: Wishing they were mine makes me miserable.

Because She Would Ask Me Why I Loved Her – Christopher Brennan

If questioning would make us wise
No eyes would ever gaze in eyes;
If all our tale were told in speech
No mouths would wander each to each.

Were spirits free from mortal mesh
And love not bound in hearts of flesh
No aching breasts would yearn to meet
And find their ecstasy complete.

For who is there that lives and knows
The secret powers by which he grows?
Were knowledge all, what were our need
To thrill and faint and sweetly bleed?

Then seek not, sweet, the "If" and "Why"
I love you now until I die.
For I must love because I live
And life in me is what you give.

Angela Montenegro was a woman of many diverse talents. However, baking wasn't one of them. She swiped the back of her hand across her moist brow and cursed out loud at the sight of the sunken chocolate cake in front of her. This was her fourth attempt. She contemplated the array of provisions taking up most of the grey polished stone worktop and wondered if she had both the stomach and the heart to try again. Promising herself that this would be her very last attempt before she admitted defeat and bought a cake from a store like a normal person, she made a grab for the large and now much lighter bag of flour. She carefully weighed some butter after the flour, she had no need to consult the recipe; she had the measurements memorised.

It was all Jack's fault, she considered as she fixed the mixing bowl in place and set in motion the electric blender. He was the one with the favourite aunt who liked nothing more than a homemade chocolate cake. An aunt who at the age of ninety seven wasn't someone you wanted to disappoint, and an aunt who was coming to visit the newly married couple the next day. Once the eggs, butter and flour had combined into a pale yellow pourable mixture, she emptied in the cocoa power. She set the blender working again for a few shorts bursts before she decanted the now light brown mix into the lined cake tin.

So far so simple, but Angela had observed that her previous attempts seemed to go awry during the cooking process and so she made sure to check the temperature of the oven before she placed the round tin on the rack. She set the timer and then began what would be a lengthy cleaning-up process.

A few minutes later as she was dancing around the vast kitchen, dish cloth in hand, listening to Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love" on her ipod and strumming away on her air guitar, she thought she heard the intercom bleep. She turned down the volume and listened. Just when she'd convinced herself that she'd imagined it, she heard the bleeping noise again. Angela walked over and picked up the intercom videophone which was fixed on the wall to the side of the kitchen door. She glanced at the colour picture feed displayed in the state of the art monitor and was shocked and immediately concerned to see Brennan standing there.

"Bren, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?"

More alarming still was that her best friend seemed unable to form a coherent sentence because she was crying so hard. "Stay right there, I'm coming to get you." She hung up and rushed out into the night. She climbed in her Toyota and drove the short distance to the first set of security gates; she tapped the eight-digit password into the digital reader and then drove another half a mile to the main gate. Brennan was waiting for her there. And she was still crying. Angela jumped out the car and rushed round to grab hold of her friend.

"Brennan, what's happened? Are you hurt?" She said quickly letting go of her upper arms, realising that if she was hurt, she'd probably just made it worse.

"N...no." Brennan said as she tried to wipe away tears that were falling fast.

"Is Booth hurt?" Angela said stepping back and holding Brennan out for inspection in front of her.

"He..."

"What! He's hurt? Sweetie...please what's happened?"

"He's fine." Brennan finally managed as she walked round and climbed into the passenger seat of the Toyota.

"Then why are you so upset?" She questioned as she climbed in next to her.

"I need a drink."

"Sure. We have booze, Hodgins even distils his own gin...but that's a story for another time. Come on, Bren, what's up?"

"Booth and I had a fight."

"Oh. In that case we'll need lots of booze." Angela said as she started the engine and drove them back to the house.

She showed Brennan into the kitchen and effectively manhandled her into a seat before she rushed to the refrigerator and grabbed an unopened bottle of Vodka. "Would you rather wine?" When Brennan shook her head, she unscrewed the red top and poured a generous measure into a glass and presented it to her friend. She poured herself a more conservative measure and joined her at the kitchen table.

"It smells nice in here." Brennan said before drinking the entire measure in one hit. Angela got up and poured her another.

"I'm baking a cake."

"I didn't know you baked."

I don't. The garbage is full of my failed attempts.

"Cakes are easy."

"Brennan, what happened? Why did you argue?" She asked as she handed over the glass and sat down at the table.

"Booth loves me."

"Of course he does."

"No, Ange. He told me."

"Wow! He told you? I mean that's just...wow."

"You sound surprised that he told me but not that he believes he's in love with me."

"It's been obvious to most of us for a while now."

"How could you know?"

"I just knew. Just like I know that you love him."

"Angela." Brennan said with sad exasperation.

"Sweetie, you love him. You've loved him for years now."

"I care...I care for him very much."

"Look, I get that you're scared. I know you've been let down by people you've loved in the past but Booth is different. Booth won't let you down. I know it. Bren...you know it. Booth loves you. Don't you think it could be possible that you love him back?"

"I...I believe love exists and before I met Booth I didn't'. But I don't know how it feels because I have no basis for comparison. I can only understand it in an abstract way. I don't know how love should feel to me."

"Okay, so how does he make you feel? When you're with him, how do you feel?" Angela asked not quite believing they were finally having this conversation.

"I feel protected, hopeful...frustrated, aroused and...I...I suppose happy and worried at the same time. But mostly I feel confused. I feel out of my depth."

"That sounds familiar." She said smiling.

"To you maybe, but it's new to me. And I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to act around Booth. Ange, I'm making a mess of things...all I seem to do lately is upset him and get him angry at me."

"Brennan, you need to talk to him. Tell him that you don't know what you're doing but that you want to work through things together. That's all he wants. I guarantee it."

"I don't know where to start."

"You start by telling him that you're not going to run again this time."

"I thought I'd have more time to think about this. That's why I wanted to go to Indonesia. I can't think clearly here, everything feels like it's closing in on me. I need some distance from all of this so that I can examine things from the outside looking in and not the other way around. He's too close here and I'm finding it impossible to be objective about my feelings."

"Okay. I understand that, I do, but how you feel about Booth is not something you can deconstruct and then analyse in its component parts. I know you can quote science back at me and explain the chemical basis for love, but that's not the whole story. And I know you'll try and rationalise your feelings and Booth's feelings, but there's more to love than that."

"The heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of." Brennan said so quietly that Angela struggled to hear her. "Lately I keep thinking about those words."

"Sweetie, can I tell you what I think?"

"Your opinion would offer valuable insight given your prodigious experience with men."

"Don't say it like that!"

"Angela, you shouldn't be ashamed of your sexual history." Brennan said seriously.

"I'm not, but when you put it in those terms... Anyway, let's focus on you, shall we? Okay, here's what I think. You love Booth. And I know you're in love with him because you're distraught. Because you're here engaging in girl talk and you never do that. And because I'll bet that all you want to do right now is be with him even though he has upset you and driven you to tears."

"Being upset and coming here doesn't mean that I love him...I'm worried about our partnership and our friendship." Brennan said finishing her drink.

"Okay, so tell me you don't love him. Tell me once and for all that I'm wrong." When her friend failed to answer, she asked again. "Bren, tell me I'm wrong?"

"But it's not that simple. We wouldn't be able to work together anymore. It would be the end of our partnership."

"Brennan, this is one of those times when it is simple. What if he stops waiting and finds someone else? What if he gets transferred to another field office or gets a promotion and you can't work together anymore? What if the army comes knocking on his door again? He could leave your life because of any number of reasons and then you'll be left with nothing. Being with him might end your partnership, but it won't end you being together."

"But what if he gets hurt...what if I lose him."

"Oh, sweetie...I can't say it won't ever happen, no one can promise that, but you can't live your life that way. You're missing out on so much." Angela said sighing as she noticed the tears building in her friend's eyes.

"I need more vodka?" Brennan said unsteadily as she got up and took the bottle from the countertop.

Angela held her hand over her glass and watched as her friend poured what appeared to be at least a triple measure into her own glass.

"So where's Booth now?"

"I don't know. We met at a restaurant. I left him there."

"You left him there...how did things end?"

"He told me that he wants to have intercourse with me."

"Hmm, somehow I don't think he said it in those terms. So what did you say? Oh, please tell me you admitted that you want to jump his bones? God, if I wasn't married and, you know, you two weren't made for each other, I would so buy a ticket on that ride. That man is just so...phew." She fanned herself with a placemat and grinned as Brennan's pale face relaxed into a small smile.

"I'll admit I find him pleasing to look at."

"No, you think he's hot. I've seen the way you look at him."

"I have wondered what he would be like as a lover. He has a perfect acromion and his biceps are..."

"Yeah, like I said, he's hot. Hun, come on, he's there for the taking. Why deny yourself something wonderful."

"I did suggest that we have sex. It was my idea."

"What? You said that...what did he say?"

"He said he wanted more than sex. But then he agreed to it."

"Hang on, Bren. Back up. You offered him sex...sex, but not love?"

"I offered him all I can give right now."

"And he said he wanted more?"

"Yes."

"But then he agreed to sleep with you?"

"Yes."

"Brennan, you can't sleep with that man without committing to more than that. You can't do that to him."

"He didn't seem to have a problem with it and I think it could help us move past all the tension."

"Of course he has a problem with it. And the tension between you isn't just physical. It's emotional and..."

At that moment Angela's attention wandered to the sight of her husband walking into the kitchen completely naked. She knew that he hadn't spotted Brennan, who was seated with her back to the kitchen door, and was, from Hodgins' vantage point obscured by a tall larder unit. She opened her mouth to warn him but was too late.

"Hey, sexy baker lady...you got any chocolate fudge frosting left?"

She turned to look at her friend who didn't look in the least embarrassed. In fact, Brennan was surveying Hodgins in that clinical, perspicacious way that told Angela that she was looking past flesh and was examining the skeletal structure underneath.

"No, I don't...um...and you might want to cover up."

"Why?"

"Because we have a visitor. No! Don't turn around!"

Angela buried her face in her hands as Hodgins turned around to see who was there with them. Upon seeing his boss sitting at the kitchen table, he let out a high pitched yelp and placed both hands between his thighs. Brennan had the good grace to look away as he desperately tried to preserve his modesty.

"Oh my God, Dr. B...shit! I didn't see you there."

Angela prodded him in the ass and passed him her apron. He replaced his left hand with the bunched up material and then backed out of the kitchen to avoid giving his boss a shot of his backside as well.

"Shit!" He said again as he knocked his elbow on the doorframe as he hurried out.

Brennan started to laugh and Angela wasn't far behind. They laughed until their stomach muscles protested and they were out of breath.

"Oh my God. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Hodgins is perfectly entitled to wander about his own house naked. I walk around naked at home. In the summer, I often take breakfast naked."

"You know, you should tell Booth that, he'll go nuts."

"He would do no such thing."

"Yeah. He would. You drive him nuts when you're wearing your shapeless overalls and are knee-deep in bones and sludge...nibbling on a croissant while wearing nothing but a smile would probably knock him on his ass."

"I've decided that I'm going to have intercourse with Booth."

"Okay. That's great, and fantastic and well overdue but you know that Booth needs more than that."

"He said that he is happy to commence a physical relationship."

"Yes. But not without love."

"He knows that this is all I'm capable of giving him and he made it clear that he wants to proceed on that basis."

"I don't know, Brennan, that doesn't sound like something Booth would be happy with."

"He seemed more than happy to me. In fact, he displayed very definite physiological signs of arousal."

"I don't doubt that, Hun. But leaving Booth's feelings aside for the moment - what about you? At Christmas you told me that you didn't want Booth to think that all you wanted from him was sex, but now that's all you're willing to offer him. Sweetie, I get that you're scared, but now you know that Booth loves you. You know he loves the real you, not his coma-dream version of you and so..."

As much as Angela loved her husband she was most definitely not pleased to see him when he reappeared, now fully dressed, at the kitchen door. "Um, we're still kinda in the middle of..." She started as he walked into the kitchen, holding his cell phone out in front of him, his left hand covering the mouthpiece, ensuring that their conversation remained private.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to interrupt, but I have a very wound up FBI Agent on the line who's determined that I confirm that Dr. Brennan is here and that she's okay. Because I value my life I told him that she's here. I didn't feel it was my place to answer the second question."

Angela looked at Brennan who shook her head and jumped up from her chair. Determined not to let her friend leave without finishing their conversation and also to ensure that she didn't attempt to drive herself home after consuming the best part of three triple vodka's, she took the cell phone from Hodgins.

"Hi, Booth, it's Angela. Yeah...yeah, she's here and she's okay." Sensing that Brennan was about to bolt at any moment, she asked Booth to hold on.

"Bren, we need to talk some more, and you shouldn't be driving."

"I wasn't going to drive, Angela. I am well aware that my co-ordination and vision is likely to be negatively affected by the alcohol I've consumed. I'll call a cab to take me home."

"No. I'll drive you. Jack, can you take care of the cake? It needs another ten or so minutes in the oven and then it can..."

"Let me drive you, Dr. Brennan. Angie, there's no way I want to take responsibility for that cake and besides, I don't want you driving across town this late on your own."

Angela sensed that Brennan wanted to take issue with Hodgins on this point. She was sure that some remark about the male impulse to be overprotective of females was on the tip of her tongue, but something stopped her. She put it down to the fact that Brennan obviously wanted to avoid talking to Booth. What Angela didn't see was the way that she had caught the look that passed between the newly married couple, nor did Angela notice the fresh tears that had sprung to her friend's eyes.

Angela agreed that Hodgins should take Brennan home and then she took a deep breath and told Booth that she was sorry for keeping him hanging on.

Booth hung up and breathed a sigh of relief. When the minutes had turned into hours and she still hadn't returned home, he began to worry. But she was okay. That's all that mattered. He wondered if he should get up and head for home but the thought of returning to his empty apartment filled him with sadness. Most of the time the fact that he was lonely passed him by, he guessed because he'd become so accustomed to being on his own, but sometimes the reality of his single life couldn't be ignored. What did he have to go home to: nothing? And after tomorrow he wouldn't even have a home, at least not for a couple of months.

Booth heard the elevator groan into life shortly after 1a.m. He stayed seated on the floor. He couldn't be sure it was her...but somehow he knew it was. A few seconds later he heard a "ding" and made out the sound of the elevator doors opening and then closing again. He heard footsteps. Her footsteps and he waited for her to round the corner.

She was crying. She stopped mid-stride, and her eyes widened when she saw him sitting outside her apartment. He wondered why she was surprised. He'd parked in his usual spot? Then the penny dropped - she didn't know he was using a rental car. She didn't know the car parked next to her space was his. Booth noticed that she made no effort to wipe away her tears and he knew the feeling: sometimes things are so hurtful that you have to surrender to the pain, lose yourself in it and hope you come out the other side intact. In true Brennan-fashion however, she recovered quickly from the shock of seeing him there and walked purposefully towards him. He climbed to his feet and made sure not to crowd her when she reached him. She rummaged in her purse for her keys and finding them; she opened the door and disappeared inside. Booth waited for only a second or two before he followed her in and closed the door behind him.

He walked into the dimly lit open plan kitchen/living room and for the first time that night was at a complete loss as to what he should say. Earlier he couldn't shut up but now he was struggling to find his voice, let alone pick the words he should use. Brennan was standing in the middle of the kitchen and Booth felt his chest constrict painfully when he realised that she was still crying.

"Are you okay, Bones?" He said stunned at the way his voice shook and thinned into nothing at the end. It was unquestionably the dumbest thing he'd said all night, but he had to ask. He couldn't ignore her tears, not now there were so many of them.

She didn't or couldn't answer, and he stood there feeling utterly helpless as she began to sob. He made a move towards her but stopped dead when she backed away and held both hands out in front of her, warning him not to get any closer.

"The last thing I ever wanted to do is hurt you. Bones, you have to know that. But I can't lie to you anymore. I can't lie to myself."

She was staring at the floor. She wouldn't look at him. She had straightened out her arms and held them tight to her sides. Her whole body appeared to shake with every sob and it was all he could do to stop grabbing hold of her. He felt like an intruder. He knew he should walk away, give her some time and some privacy, but he couldn't. He was frozen in place, more scared than ever that she would run away for good this time.

"Baby, please don't cry...I can't bear..." He began softly, fighting the tears that burned his eyes and strangled his voice.

Her head shot up and behind the tears he saw the anger and the fear that held her captive. "Don't call me that, don't dare belittle me."

"I'm not calling you a child. I didn't mean it that way."

"I know exactly how you meant it, Booth. I understand just fine. And I'm not your baby or any other demeaning term of dubious endearment designed to depersonalise women. I'm not your anything. I am me. Me! And I decide, okay...I decide what I want to be to you."

His anger flared despite him. "That's bullshit. You don't get to 'decide' that. Just like I can't tell you how you should feel about me. How can you not understand? Bones, you can't order me to stop loving you, you can't make it go way just because you aren't ready for it or don't want it. You can't tell me what to feel. Hell, I can't even tell myself."

"Then you're not trying hard enough." She said, using the sleeve of her white coat to dry her eyes.

He stepped forward, unable to help himself, and placed his hand flat against the centre left of her chest. He ignored the sharp intake of breath she took as he touched her. He was barely applying pressure but he could feel her heart pounding under his unsteady hand. And just as he knew that the sun was 27 million times larger than the moon - because she had told him, he knew that the helpless, unconscious pattern of her heartbeat matched the rhythm of his own.

"We can't choose who we fall in love with and you can't control your heart any better than I can. The only thing you can control is whether you listen to it or not."

"You realise that makes no sense. There are in fact two normal heart sounds that occur in sequence with every heart beat. The sounds are caused by the closing of the AV valves and the semilunar valves. There is no other sound, Booth. The heart muscle cannot be heard because it cannot speak."

"Too literal, Bones."

"I'll take 'literal' over fantastical any day, Booth."

He couldn't help the slight smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth. Her hands had come to rest on her hips and for a brief moment he kidded himself that this argument was no different to any of the others that had gone before - the banter, the back and forth, felt right, felt like them, even though the subject matter had taken on a far deeper relevance. But then he noticed the tear that slid down her cheek and the 'almost smile' was wiped off his face in an instant.

"I...I don't seem to be able to stop crying. It's extremely annoying." She said immediately swiping away the offending tear.

"Bones, I..."

"I just need a moment."

"Sure...okay. Can I get you a soda or something? Um, do you wanna sit down?" He was at a total loss for something comforting to say. And so he babbled on all the while cursing himself for being so useless.

"A drink would be good...I'll get it."

Brennan walked into the living room and made for the large oak bookcase. When she returned she was holding a bottle of something that Booth strongly doubted was soda. His suspicions were confirmed when she reached for a heavy crystal glass from inside the cabinet by his head and poured herself a large measure of honey-coloured liquid.

"Would you like one?" She said as she took a slow drink and managed for the most part to suppress a shudder. Whatever it was she was drinking, it packed a punch.

"I need to drive home later."

"I see."

Booth wondered what "I see" meant. Was she really expecting him to stay the night? Was she hoping he would? He was still thinking, still second-guessing when she finished her drink and poured another and then asked him what had happened to his Cruiser.

"The Bureau assigned me another rental. They took mine when I told them that I was going to be gone for a year. I'm hoping I can get it back, the new car just doesn't feel right. What are you drinking anyways?"

"Gran Patron Anejo Burdeos"

"And that's meant to mean something to me?"

"It's Tequila."

"Then why not just say that?" He grinned and looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

"I like to be precise."

"Yes you do."

Again, at a loss for anything better to say, Booth attempted to keep the conversation going. "So, how's the happily married couple?"

"I suppose, happily married."

"Man, I didn't see that coming did you? I still can't believe they got hitched."

"You know, you didn't have to track me down. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

"I don't doubt that, but I told you if you left that I was going to follow you."

"So you sought me out because you're stubborn? Or perhaps because you feel the need to protect me in spite of the fact that I've proven time and..."

"I tracked you down because I don't think we're done here, Bones. Do you?"

He was determined not to fill the silence with small talk. He wasn't going to make this easier on either of them. He cared too much to do that. Finally, she spoke.

"I'm not sure what else there is to be said. You claim to love me, you want a relationship but I can't give you that. We established that we are sexually desirous of..."

He interrupted her summary of events and didn't care that his voice was rising with every syllable.

"Hold up, Bones. I don't claim to love you. I do love you. There's no doubt, no mystery and no mistake when it comes to how I feel about you. I told you – I knew from the beginning that you were..."

"What about before your surgery. Did you know then?"

"Didn't I just say that?"

"Yes. But I'm curious all the same." There wasn't an edge to her voice. She was asking him plainly if what he felt was real. But nonetheless he had to force himself to remain calm. He could just about handle her telling him that she couldn't love him back, but there was no way on this earth that he would let her question his feelings for her. No way.

He stepped close enough to her that he could smell the tequila on her breath, and he once again tried to focus on his words and not think about what it would be like to kiss her.

"I have loved you from the very beginning. Hell, I loved you when I wasn't even sure that I liked you. I've wanted you for so long, Bones that I can't remember not being in love with you. And yes, yes, I loved you before my surgery; before you told me that you wanted a child, before Gormagon, before Epps, before Sully...I loved you."

"But you changed...after you came out of the coma, you changed. You can't ignore that and neither can I. All of a sudden you are sure of what you want and now you're demanding that I catch up."

"I did change. And I'm still changed. Sometimes...sometimes I feel like a part of me is missing and that scares me. It's like I'm a stranger to myself. I look at myself differently, you know, like I have to learn how to be me again, the changed version of me. But I know for certain that how I feel about you now is the same way I've felt about you all along. Angela's psychic was right – I didn't lose anything in that coma, I found something. I dreamed what it would be like to be with you and when I woke up all I wanted was that life."

"But it wasn't real, Booth. None of it was real."

"Yes it was. The way I loved you was real. It was never about wanting a different life; it was about knowing that the life I was living was incomplete."

"You can't possibly know that because of a dream - a dream that wasn't all yours to begin with. They were my thoughts too, Booth. And I..."

"Yes, Bones! They were your thoughts. You imagined being pregnant and being married to me. I didn't make that up. You did."

"Booth, I imagined that for the characters in my book. You were the one who imagined you and me playing those roles and living that life. That was never in my mind."

"I don't believe you. I've known you for too long to believe that you don't want that life. You're just scared to reach out and make a play for it. I'm in your books, Bones, and so are you. You just need to be open enough to see it."

He wondered if she felt it too: that spark. That indefinable yet somehow familiar sensation which seemed to hold them in place and build in intensity until one of them, sometimes both of them couldn't be still any longer and pulled away. The next words out of her mouth gave him his answer.

"Kiss me."

Despite the fact that her challenging tone did little to cool his temper and that the fear he saw in her eyes told him that she wasn't sure what the hell it was she wanted he instinctively moved half a step closer. He knew by trying to crash into him she was really pulling away. And he was determined not to cut her loose.

"What's the matter, Bones, can't you handle me this close?"

"Clearly I can, otherwise I wouldn't have asked you to increase our physical proximity."

He knew he should try and calm things down. Just take a step back and give her some space but his brain didn't seem to want to cooperate. Or maybe it was his heart. Her clear blue eyes held him hostage and his desire and need for her kept him moving towards her like a ferrous object irresistible to a magnetic force. He felt exposed, as though she was able to see every thought running through his head.

"Don't you want to kiss me?"

He couldn't shake the feeling that she knew he was doing his level best not to lower his eyes to her mouth. He continued to stare into her eyes and slowly let out a long breath. "Bones, I know what you're doing. I know when I'm being played."

"I'm not playing. I asked you a perfectly valid question. You appear to want to kiss me but you haven't. And given what you said earlier this evening about wanting to strip me naked and..."

He grabbed the front of her white coat and pulled her the rest of the way toward him. His clenched fist was the only thing separating them as he then manoeuvred her backwards towards the refrigerator. When her back hit the cold stainless steel door, he looked into her eyes and he didn't flinch. He didn't think twice. This was the only way...the only chance to make her see.

"I'm well aware of what I said earlier." He finally gave in and allowed his heated gaze to linger on her slightly parted mouth. Placing his free hand on the refrigerator door, an inch or so to the right of her cheek, he leaned in closer, silently cursing his own weakness.

"Okay, Bones...we'll do it your way." He took a last breath in as he surrendered all control.

He'd always imagined when he kissed her again that he would take his time. It was yet another example of how badly he'd misjudged his ability to keep it together around her. As soon as his lips touched hers, he pushed his whole body against her and reached around to the back of her neck, holding her firmly in place as he applied more pressure and nudged her mouth open a little wider. She relaxed easily into his kiss and he swept his tongue quickly across the velvety inside of her bottom lip and then fought the desperate urge to sigh as he felt the silky hot brush of her tongue against his own. When a heartbeat later he deepened the kiss, he knew in an instant that he was lost to it, lost to her.

He might have been able to slow things down if not for the fact that Brennan was kissing him back with the same kind of reckless desire. He felt her arms reach round to the small of his back; she paused for only a second before her hands travelled up and across his shoulder blades. One hand slid round and gripped the starched material of his white collar while the other smoothed and tugged at the still short hair at the back of his neck. Booth reached between them and untied the belt of her coat and pushed the light material back onto her shoulders and then made light work of unbuttoning her blue shirt. All the while, he continued his eager exploration of her mouth, her throat and the soft skin that stretched across her clavicle. When a short while later she pushed away from the refrigerator and pressed harder against him, he took the opportunity to pull her coat completely off her shoulders.

It was when she began to kiss his neck, that he found it almost impossible not to say her name. With every brush of her lips and slow calculated flick of her tongue, he wanted to tell her what she was doing to him, and how she made him feel. But he didn't. He didn't breathe a word.

Her lips and tongue continued to set his skin on fire and he clenched his fists tightly at his side as he allowed her to spin them round. When she backed him against the stainless steel, he lifted her hair away from her neck and began to taste her again. He pushed her blue shirt off her shoulders and reached round and pulled the bunched material down her back until she was free of it. He kissed along her clavicle and then held her waist as he placed open mouthed messy kisses between her breasts. Of their own volition, his hands smoothed up her sides and came to rest under her arms; he kissed hungrily the soft skin that spilled over the top of her black lace bra and then he lost his head completely and kissed her covered breasts. When she gasped in response, Booth removed his hands from her sides and gripped the lace straps and pulled them down her arms. He kissed the top of her breasts again and then kissed and licked lower, as she pulled her hands free of the black straps. He kissed lower still and eased the remainder of the lace down. He watched his own hands smooth across the soft skin of her full breasts and swallowed deeply as he ran his thumbs once over her hardening nipples. "You're beautiful." Was all he said, all he trusted himself to say, as he dropped to his knees and pulled her down with him.

She kneeled in front of him, bare from the waist up, and he wanted to confess all. He wanted to tell her that he loved her. He wanted to tell her that he wanted to take her to bed, that he wanted to make love to her – not fuck her senseless on her kitchen floor. She was special. He'd told her that. And she was. She was.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

She was kissing him again and he touched her, he couldn't stop. He let her push him onto the floor and she stretched out over him. The whole weight of her body rested on top of him and he wanted to cry. She was finally real in his arms. She was solid, irrefutably tangible and present in his arms and as he smoothed his hands over her bare back he couldn't help holding her tighter to him. She resisted his embrace and pushed her hands against his chest, creating space – space he didn't want. He almost stopped it then...almost. But she started unbuttoning his shirt and her mouth followed her busy fingers and she kissed a line down to his belt buckle and he felt himself break. He trailed his hands down her back and onto her ass. He pushed her hard against him and then flipped them over.

He kissed her hungrily before tearing his mouth from hers and again tasting the soft skin between her breasts. His hands spread across her chest and he massaged her tenderly as he kissed lower. He felt her stomach tighten under his touch as he kissed a path all the way to the waistband of her black pants. He freed the button and slid down the zipper. She lifted off the floor and he pulled the material down to her knees, she managed to kick them off the rest of the way. He pressed against her again and kissed and nipped lightly at her neck. Then he shifted on top of her and kissed her firmly, passionately on the mouth as she let her legs fall apart and he settled against her. He couldn't help it. He ground against her and the moan that fell from both of their lips echoed in her otherwise quiet and still kitchen.

"I want you, Booth. I want you inside me." She mumbled into their kiss.

He trailed one hand down between their bodies and rested it against her hip, his fingers curled around the top of her underwear.

"Why do you want me, Bones?" His breathing was ragged and he heard the desperation he felt echo in his tone.

She didn't answer and when she lifted her hips and pushed against him, he didn't have the presence of mind to ask her again. Her mouth found his and for a while they got lost in the simple act of kissing each other without fear that they would soon stop. No one was going to come crashing in and interrupt them. No one was watching. They could kiss in secret...only it wasn't a secret anymore.

"I need you to be naked. Booth, take...take off..."

He did as he was told. He let her go for a brief moment as he took off his shirt. Then he kissed her neck, unable to resist tasting her again, as he kicked off his shoes and then let her help him unclip his belt and free himself of his pants. With only their underwear separating them, he sank down between her legs and picked up the rhythm of their kiss. The feeling of her so close to him was a kind of joyful torture, the likes of which he'd never known. He grasped her left leg and anchored it around his waist as he pressed harder against her, determined that if he was going to lose his mind that she would too.

"Why do you want me, Baby? Tell me why?"

"I...ah, I want you because...because...oh, Booth...don't stop."

Her underwear was cutting into his hand because he was gripping it so tight and he knew that if he gave in and she was naked before him he wouldn't be able to stop. And so he stalled. He gambled.

"Bones, tell me how you feel right now."

"I feel like this is too much but not enough at the same time. I feel...oh, I need you closer."

Instead he did the opposite. He pulled away and looked down at her before he leant in close again and whispered in her ear. "I love you. You own my heart."

"Don't... Booth, this is all I can give you." She said as she reached for him, and stopped him pulling away again.

"I don't believe that. I feel it in the way you touch me, in the way you kiss me. And so we're not going to spend the night together. Not this night, anyway."

"Why?" She said breathlessly as she smoothed her hands across the high ridges of his shoulders and then brought them together at the back of his neck.

"Tequila." He whispered as he brought his forehead to rest against hers. He saw the flash of recognition in her eyes and loved that she managed to smile back at him.

"You know, I've consumed more vodka than tequila tonight?"

"Okay, so we're stopping this because of vodka."

"I don't want to stop. I want this. I want you."

"And I want you...I think that's more that obvious by now. But, I want more than your body. I want your heart."

He really, really didn't want to, but he reached for her hands and released them from around his neck. He rolled off her and lay on the floor beside her.

"You called me "Baby" again." She said several seconds later and out of nowhere, and he couldn't help but smile.

"Sorry. I guess I like calling you that and it just popped out."

"Like meatloaf." She said as he stared at the ceiling.

"Huh? Okay, you've lost me there, Bones."

"You know, like when I told Andrew your meatloaf story – it just popped out."

"Okay...now I get it. Yes, like that. You know, you didn't pull me up on it."

"No. I didn't. I have to admit, I found it quite arousing to hear you call me that."

"You did, huh? Well, now I'm just gonna have to call you "Baby" all the time."

"No, you don't. Just when we're kissing or when we're naked."

"So, it's all about the context." He grinned, marvelling at how relaxed he felt as they lay side by side, mostly naked, on her kitchen floor. The fact that she'd just told him that he might have a chance to kiss her and get naked with her again definitely didn't pass him by.

"Context is everything, Booth."

He felt her much smaller fingers thread through his own and he felt like his heart was going to burst right out of his chest. She wasn't going to run.

"I love you, Bones."

"I know you do."

It was enough just to hear her say that she finally believed him. He closed his eyes and concentrated on the feeling of her hand in his own. When next she scooted closer to him and lay on her side against him, he almost believed that he was in fact dreaming. But he realised, as her arm smoothed across stomach, his dreams never felt this good.

"I...I just need time, Booth." She breathed against his shoulder.

"Do you need time and space?" He asked, turning to look at her.

"No. Just time." She smiled and leaned over to kiss him softly on his cheek.

AN: This very long chapter almost did me in. In the end, I threw in what felt right and let it flow from there. I was ably assisted by Angela, who enabled me to show what Brennan might be thinking and I also 'borrowed' a line or two from the show (bonus points for those of you that spot them).

Oh, and I want to give a shout out to Stephaniew here – the wonderful quote by Blaise Pascal ("The heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of.") which is spoken by Brennan part way through her conversation with Angela only caught my attention because it was used in one of her stories. She kindly told me I could pinch it.

So, we've maybe three more chapters to go...hands up who votes for a happy ending?