Romance and the Fate of Equestria
Edited a couple of chapters. In chapter 13, I made Princess Luna's speech patterns… less authentically Elizabethan, but more readable. Don't bother to check, the change is pretty much imperceptible unless you've got the chapter memorized. Which you don't. I'm a longtime student of Shakespeare, and I might have gone overboard. I will, however, use the word "wherefore" correctly at some point. I love doing that. Hint: it doesn't mean "where".
Not that it was all that authentic to begin with; after all, I had her use "thee/thou" pronouns when referring to all three Crusaders at once, but if I'd done it right then she'd have been using "you" pronouns for almost the whole scene. No fun at all.
Also, in chapter 15, I changed the spelling of the names of Przewalski's band members. Three of them rhymed, but were spelled quite differently, for the "Huey, Dewey, and Louie" effect. Then I started wondering whether the names as I had spelled them actually rhymed. I decided it was easier and funnier if they were spelled the same. As for the obvious question: will Przewalski ever be important to the story? The answer is, maybe. But probably not. Mostly, their band name serves as an incredibly flowery curse word.
Chapter Twenty-One
Sweetie Belle skipped down the streets of Ponyville. "I'm in charge of the play," she sang. "And we're all gonna have so much fun…"
Apple Bloom trailed behind her, looking a bit annoyed. "You know, considering my project is a paradigm-shifting miracle that's gonna change all of ponydom forever, we sure do take a lot of breaks from it."
"Oh, lighten up, Apple Bloom," Scootaloo said. "The play is more likely to get Sweetie her cutie mark. We've got no guarantee that your thing will. It has nothing to do with, you know, our names."
"I know, it might not get any of us our cutie marks," Apple Bloom said. "I'll be honest with ya, it probably won't. But it's still important."
"Don't worry, Apple Bloom," Sweetie Belle said, hopping backward to the other two. "I've got a plan to integrate your thing with my thing."
"You do?" Apple Bloom said, surprised.
"Yeah, I'll tell you about it in a minute," Sweetie said. "First, we've got to take care of just one little thing, for my thing…"
"And what might that be?"
"Featherweight," Sweetie Belle said contemptuously, "somehow got himself the leading role again. I'm heading over to his house to give him a piece of my mind. He's gonna learn how to project his voice if it kills him! This performance has to go off without a hitch…"
She came upon a house, hopped up its front steps, and knocked. After a few seconds, Featherweight opened the door and poked his head out curiously.
"Hello, Featherweight," Sweetie said brightly. "So, I hear you've gotten yourself the role of Prince Coináge. Congratulations."
Featherweight nodded.
"Well," Sweetie went on, "I'm directing and also will be playing Princess Coraletta opposite you. I hoped we could talk about… where are you going?" Featherweight had opened his door wider and retreated into his house. "Are you offering me something to drink? Um, okay… yeah, I guess I could come in for a minute." She entered the house, shutting the door behind herself.
"What just happened?" Scootaloo wondered.
"I don't know," Apple Bloom said. "But hey—we've got my thing and Sweetie Belle's thing, so what do you want your thing to be?"
"Uh, name science, duh?" Scootaloo said condescendingly. "Am I the only one who listened to Princess Luna's advice?"
"Obviously not, since I'm working to fulfill the important part of what she told us."
"No, no, the important part is name science," Scootaloo said.
"Were we listenin' to the same princess?"
Scootaloo fumed for a second, then calmed down. "Look, she wouldn't have given us two pieces of advice that opposed each other. We probably need to do both."
Apple Bloom nodded. "There we go, now we're talkin'. That's the best idea you've had since… actually, I think it's the first good idea you've ever had."
"Oh, stick it up your nose," Scootaloo grumbled.
Sweetie Belle emerged from Featherweight's house. "How'd it go?" Scootaloo asked. "Are you gonna give him personal voice lessons?"
"Hmm?" Sweetie said absently. "Oh, we never really got around to talking about that. We just chatted over some fruit punch, and he gave me lots of compliments, and I'm pretty sure he's my boyfriend now, so, yeah." She started skipping again, in ever-widening circles.
"…What?" Apple Bloom said blankly.
"This is no good," Scootaloo said quietly. "If she doesn't confront him about his voice, he'll ruin the whole play. And if the show goes bad, she'll never get her cutie mark."
"You're right," Apple Bloom said, chewing on her bottom lip. "Maybe we should go in there and talk to him?"
"And come out looking like her?" Scootaloo said, gesturing to Sweetie Belle. "No thank you."
Sweetie Belle skipped around them, singing, "I have a boyfriend, a cooly-cool boyfriend…"
Apple Bloom eyed Featherweight's front door with apprehension. "Maybe we'll be immune to his evil charming psionic mind-control gaze attack if we're expecting it."
"You know what, let's just skip it," Scootaloo said. "Think about this: a duet between Sweetie and Featherweight is pretty much just Sweetie singing a solo. That can only be a good thing."
"True enough," Apple Bloom said.
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
Cheerilee swept the stage of Ponyville's outdoor theater, maintaining it as she took it upon herself to do after every season's school production. She silently worked for a few minutes, until Crazyface dropped from the ceiling and landed right behind her.
Cheerilee shrieked and jumped away. "Oh, Mr. Crazyface… you scared me!"
He saluted her. "Here to help you, Miss Cheerilee. Gotta get everything set up for rehearsal!"
Cheerilee nodded. "Allow me to say that we're all grateful to have a seasoned professional such as yourself here to support our play. Sweetie Belle especially is quite eager to have a mentor for her directorial debut."
"Oh, think nothing of it," Crazyface said. "Children's theater is what I do, though allow me to say that only rarely does it afford me the opportunity to meet such a gorgeous young teacher…" He wrapped a front leg around her shoulders.
Cheerilee giggled nervously. "Mr. Crazyface, stop it…"
"Don't be coy, Miss Cheerilee. I get the feeling we'll be—"
"No, seriously, stop it," Cheerilee said, her expression suddenly stern. "You're making me extremely uncomfortable."
Instantly, he sprang backwards. "Sorry! Sorry, I… I didn't mean…"
"That's quite all right," Cheerilee said, detached.
He looked around as an awkward silence hung over them. "So, uh… are we cool?"
"Yes, Mr. Crazyface."
"Okay, good," he said in relief. "Again… sorry."
"Don't let it bother you," she said.
They were silent for another several minutes.
"Oh, look, here's our director!" Cheerilee said, brightening.
"Thank goodness," Crazyface muttered.
The Crusaders had appeared at the back row of theater seats, and Crazyface hastily flew over to them.
"How'd it go, darling?" he said. "Do all of my casting choices around town agree with your grand vision?"
"Yes, Mr. Crazyface," Sweetie Belle said.
"Around town?" Cheerilee repeated. "But this is the school play."
"Yes, and all the little ones shall have a role to play, onstage or behind it," Crazyface said. "But I thought a bit of adult touch to certain characters might give us a degree of professionalism and respectability."
Cheerilee frowned, until Sweetie Belle walked up to her. "It's fine, Miss Cheerilee, I agree with him," she said. "I want you to play Azalea Hyacinth. Would you be willing?"
The teacher looked at Sweetie Belle fondly. "Certainly, Sweetie Belle. If that's what you want, I'm honored. But isn't Azalea Hyacinth traditionally played by a unicorn? For special effects purposes?"
"Oh, don't worry about that, Miss Cheerilee," Sweetie Belle said. "By the time the performance comes, we Crusaders will have you and your special effects covered."
Apple Bloom gasped. "I see what you're saying! That's how you're putting our thing in your thing!"
Sweetie nodded. "Yep, with the stuff in our… thing."
"Sweetie Belle, you're a genius!" Apple Bloom proclaimed. "An evil genius!"
"Aw, you're the evil genius, Apple Bloom."
"We're two evil geniuses!" Apple Bloom said, hugging Sweetie Belle.
"Yay!"
Scootaloo scowled. "Two evil geniuses? What does that make me?"
"Oh, you're the hunchbacked pony/chicken hybrid that carries around our stuff," Apple Bloom said dismissively.
Scootaloo glared furiously.
"I'm just kiddin', we're three evil geniuses!" Apple Bloom said jovially. She tugged Scootaloo into a hug, and all three Crusaders pranced around in a circle.
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS EVIL GENIUSES YAAAAY!" they cried out.