Uryu's POV

(Lunchtime-School roof)

I would just like to say thank God, Buddha, or whatever deity for Saturdays! It's not Saturday just yet, but close! It's Friday! Chizuru and Kon keep bugging me about my date with Ichigo. If they don't stop, I'll be too scared to even show up for it. Speaking of being scared, I have yet to call my buddy and ask if he wanted to go to the event that has my heart racing a mile a minute. "Wait, you haven't even called Szayel about it? Are you mad, woman?" Kon gasped at me. Should I be offended at the "woman" comment? Before I could, Chizuru slapped him and me in the back of the head. "Ow!" we shouted. "Kon, don't call Uryu a woman!" she scolded at him. "And Uryu, you need to call your pinky friend and tell him about this double date idea!" Well, if only it were that simple. Szayel and double dates don't belong together. Why didn't I think of that before I agreed to it in the first place? The last time I went on a double date with that guy, he took both of the other boys for himself! How do I know he won't do that this time? "Uh," I uttered, rubbing my abused head. "No one would want to be around Szayel, especially in public," Shuuhei laughed. "If that's true, then why are you friends with him?" I'll have to explain that story again. "Well, it all started back in the Las Noches District…" Shuuhei, Kon, and Chizuru leaned in as I began. Mizuiro and Rukia ate quietly behind us, but I knew they were listening in as well.

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Ichigo's POV

Sitting around in a classroom listening to a teacher ramble on about something gross and irrelevant is not how I want to spend my Friday afternoon. I wanted so badly to call an emergency rugby practice; the emergency being that I'm bored out of my mind. My ever so lovely friend, Renji, was knocked out cold beside me. We were supposed to go over the details of the date together. But for some reason, our teacher decided to lecture today instead of giving us a random worksheet to do. Now, I was forced to go over the plans in my head! One thing's for sure, we can't be in the Seireitei District at all. Keigo goes shopping with his elder sister on the weekends and I can't risk running into him. So, that just leaves the Las Noches District. Dad always says, "Going to Las Noches is just asking for your innocence to be taken away, son!". Honestly, if Uryu lived there, it can't be that bad. Plus, Uryu must be a little homesick. It'll do him some good to back, especially if that Szayel guy is there.

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Uryu's POV

Everyone's jaw dropped when I completed my story. It's the same reaction I got from the Kurosaki sisters. "You... he... what?" Chizuru stuttered. "That's how you guys became friends? Over something as simple as a brownie?" Kon laughed. I hung my head down. "No more question, please. Just know that we're friends now," I say. Rukia stands up and crosses her arms. "I would like to meet this guy one day," she smirks. "Why don't you invite him to the big rugby game on Sunday? Can he do that, Pres?" Chizuru asked her, giving her a puppy dog look. Rukia shrugged. "I guess I can allow it. He does seem like a very interesting character. Call him, Ishida," she ordered me. Hmph, I was gonna do that anyway, Bossy.

I dialed Szayel's number and the line rang once.

Two times...

Three times...

"Ooh! Put it on speaker!" Kon and Chizuru squealed. Sighing, I did just that.

Four times...

Fi-

"Uryu Ishida!" his voice hissed. "You really need to learn how to not call during school hours,"

"Sorry, Panther. I just wanted to ask you a question," I giggled.

"Well, you're so lucky that the showers in the locker room are completely soundproof!" My eyebrow arched up.

"Szayel, what are you doing?"

"Uh... nothing illegal," Rukia and the others all started laughing. They seriously don't realize what this guy is capable of.

"Szayel Aporro Granz!" I scolded. "What in the hell are you up to?"

There was some shuffling in the background before his voice came back again.

"Angelface, when I tell I've got something hot and juicy going on here I really mean it this time!"

Oh lord, this can't be good.

"What are you talking about?"

"Five words, babydoll: Kaname and Aizen sexy time. I overheard Aizen-sensei whisper to Kaname-sensei that he wanted to tell him something during the last period, right? So, me being the best informant in the history of ever, I followed the hell out of them! I thought maybe he wanted confess to teaching on him with that Ichimaru guy. But sweet lord of everything that is everything, I feel like I walked in on the best porn session ever,"

Everyone's jaw dropped. Chizuru let out a loud squeal.
"No way! Ichimaru-sensei's boytoy's cheating on him with someone from the Las Noches District?"

I heard Szayel gasp.

"Omg, Uryu am I on speaker now?"

"Yes, and let me just say that you made on hell of a first impression on all the members of the Karakura Student Council," Rukia said into the phone.

"Damn it! Well, let me tell you ladies that I'm sorry for broadcasting such a private event. However, this is wayyyy hotter than any porno I've shown Uryu! I always knew Aizen-sensei had a great ass."

"Please, send me a video!" Chizuru begged him. Kon cringed, scratching at his lion mask. "I do not wanna see two dude fucking!" he gagged. I smacked both of their heads. "Did we forget our main goal here?"

"What goal?"

"Szayel, Ichigo asked me on a date-"
"No fucking way! Dude! When? Where? How? Why am I just figuring this out now?" He shouted angrily.

"Szayel, it's a double date and he wanted to bring you!" I grumbled.

"Ooh~! Sounds amazing! Who's the other guy?"

Hm... Ichigo never did tell me who it was, huh. Whoever he is, I just hope he can handle the package that is my best friend.

"Come to my house tomorrow and find out,"

"It he turns out to be an ugly bastard, I'm sending you to the planet Pluto,"

The council members scoffed.

"Pluto's not a planet anymore," we all explained.

"Oh shove it, you smartasses!" And with that he hung up.