|Jade|

I'm never early to school. I'm never early to anything, really, but when I woke up twenty minutes before my alarm and felt the hollowness of my house, I just couldn't sit there in it. So I showered quick, didn't bother styling my hair, yanked on a pair of jeans and a tattered t-shirt with fishnet sleeves and got out of there as soon as I could.

My house used to comfort me with its emptiness. It was a physical representation of how I had always felt - vacant, scooped out, like I had been built for living and no one cared to move in. Beck had rented me out, tested out a few things, and when he left there was still dents in the carpet, squares where pictures had hung on the walls, now gone. And it had hurt, it still hurts, because the ghost of him haunts me sometimes, but there's a new tenant. Someone else has moved in.

I chew my thumb as I lean against my locker. Monday mornings lack more people than usual. Students move sluggishly by me, yawning, complaining in small groups about how the weekend had been too short. I smile faintly at that, shifting my teeth to my knuckle.

The weekend, for me, had started like a foggy morning, only for the sun win out in the end. The sun and the moon, I remember fondly, not able to smother the grin that blooms on my face. Dinner last night had been eventful, to say the least - Tori had all but squeezed my hand dry beneath the table when she stuttered out to her parents that I am now her girlfriend. Strangely, I hadn't felt all that nervous about it. I had met her mother's gaze with a tiny smile, and Trina's fork clattering in the edge of her plate had been drowned out by Tori's mother erupting in congratulations.

"Oh, sweetie, that is fantastic. Jade is a doll."

That made me laugh, and when I turned to Tori's dad, he was eyeing me suspiciously, like, well, like a cop would, but then he clapped a hand on Tori's shoulder and said, "Well, I can't say I'm not surprised, because I kind of thought you and Andre ..." He shifted his hands.

Tori had giggled at that, shaking her head. "Nope. Andre's my best friend, but that's all." She turned to look at me, eyes glowing, a bitten smile on her face. "Jade's a little something more."

My cheeks burned at that, and her mother was cooing again like we were babies dressed in matching outfits, and her dad proceeded to, awkwardly, inform the two of us that we were lovely young ladies and he didn't mind at all that we were - and he had to swallow here - girlfriends. Trina, surprisingly, said nothing. That was more troubling than anything she could have said, but I dismissed my concerns immediately. I've never cared for Trina and I'm certainly not going to start now.

Before I had left for the night - I insisted on walking despite the numerous times Tori offered to drive me home; I wanted the time and space to think - Tori had kissed me in the doorway without hesitation, despite Trina and her father leering behind her. I've always known that Tori is a brave girl, but sometimes the amount of guts she has stuns me.

"Hey, muchacha."

I don't react right away, not really paying attention to anything other than my own thoughts, but I'm yanked from them when a fist collides with my shoulder. I look up sharply, only to relax upon seeing Andre. Andre and I haven't really been friends so much as friends of friends - he hung out with Beck a lot, so we were often in the same places together. The only time I had ever really hung out with him alone was when I helped him with a song last year. He's a nice kid, though, and I'm glad that if anyone is Tori's best friend, it's him.

"Hey." I toss my eyes toward the doors again before turning to face Andre. "Seen Tori?"

A grin spreads his lips wide. I narrow my gaze as he shrugs knowingly. "Not yet. She should be here soon, though."

I continue to study him as he grins like a madman. "What are you so happy about?"

Andre laughs - a deep, happy sound. He waits, watching me, and when I do nothing, his eyebrows drop. "Seriously? Tori's my best friend, Jade."

Oh. Oh. "Oh," I say, not too intelligently. Frowning, I glance at the doors for the hundredth time. "So she told you."

Andre shrugs, leaning against the lockers. "She told me about the crush, yeah, a few weeks ago. After Friday, I thought things had gone to hell - no offense - but then her status last night was ecstatic, and I knew it had to be you."

I can't help but smile at that. "Ecstatic, huh?" I still haven't gone on the Slap since Beck and I split. I take a moment to realize how much easier it is to think that sentence now.

"Mhm. You make her really happy." He's grinning at me again, like I'm some kind of saint, and for some reason it makes me nervous. What does he expect of me now? To be the cheery, sugary cupcake that Tori is? I return the gesture back to him, albeit much less enthusiastically. While I wouldn't say I'm by any means the same Jade I was a month ago, I'm still no Tori or Cat or Andre. I'm still moody as hell and a die-hard pessimist. I'm still a Venus fly trap, it's just now I'm in the same pot as a sunflower.

"There she is," Andre says, nodding over my shoulder, and all of my worries are blown away when I turn to see Tori striding through the doors. She's wearing yellow - no doubt inspired by our conversation yesterday - and brown boots that click when she walks. She stops to say hello to a girl by the front lockers, but as soon as she sees me, she's scurrying in my direction. Her face is so lit with glee that I forget we're in a hallway full of people, that Andre is standing right next to me. My arms find her waist and hers are around my neck, the smell of vanilla swimming up my nose when I bend to kiss her. I don't even plan on kissing her, and when I realize that I am, it's too late - Tori's eyes are fluttering closed and she's muffling a smile behind my lips.

She so warm and goddamn soft, like a fucking Care Bear.

I pull back first. A layer of her lip gloss is on my mouth, and Tori's face is red and mine is about to get there. It takes me a moment to realize that the hallway is silent, that all eyes are trained on us. Tori blinks slowly, her head pivoting in a circle before she returns her eyes to me. And then she's giggling, taking my hand and stepping back a little.

"Well," Tori says, one hand trembling as she scoops her hair behind her ear. "That was. Interesting."

Andre's eyes look about ready to pop out of his skull. "Breathe," I tell him, and he sucks in a loud breath through his gaping mouth.

People are ducking their heads. Whispering. I squeeze my hand around Tori's, protective, possessive, and it's a good thing that another detention would result in an expulsion because I feel like swearing up a storm to one girl in particular who is lifting a lip at us in disgust. I glare back at her with as much venom as I can summon before I look to Tori, who doesn't even care, who is talking to Andre while slipping her fingers in mine and laughing.

It's not like I've ever lived my life with other peoples' opinions in mind. I haven't given a single shit about what people thought of my appearance, or my weird collections, or my extensive gore film collection, or my dark nature. And when I decided that, yes, I want to be with Tori - which is a thought that still sends my heart on a frantic drum roll - I also figured that their opinion of my relationship wouldn't matter to me, either. And I guess it's not so much what they think of me, really - it's her. Tori. I don't want anyone looking down on her or sneering at her or looking at her like she's anything less of amazing.

"Jade?"

Tori's cool fingers on my arm pull me from my angry thoughts. Swiveling back to her, she gives me a reassuring smile. Cat had bounded up to us without me noticing, engaged in animated conversation with Andre. I study them, then Tori, and realize that the only people who matter to me or those who treat me with kindness. Not the rest of the school or my mom. All I really need are these people.

"Try not to set anyone on fire, okay?" Tori's grinning.

I look at our hands. I think of a month ago, two months ago, when even being in the same room as Tori irritated me to no end. "I can't believe this is actually happening." I don't realize I've said it aloud until Tori laughs.

"Me either," she says, giving a little jump when the bell sounds. She squeezes my hand before taking off to her locker. "I'll meet you at Sikowitz's!"

I wiggle my fingers at her before I dive into my locker. Grabbing my purse, I shut the door and give a tight scream at the sudden face that's hiding behind it.

My eyes lock on his, body stiff, blood cold, and all I can think of to say is, "Christ, Beck. I hope you're trying out for a fucking horror movie."

Beck isn't smiling. His expression is stern, actually, which isn't something I've seen very often on him. I'm surprised to see him in black jeans and a gray t-shirt - a walking rain cloud if I've ever seen one. My eyes narrow suspiciously - now that I think about it, he's dressed like me.

"Are you going to talk to me? Ever?" His eyebrows rise.

I gape at him silently, waiting for the onslaught of pain to attack my chest like it had since breaking up upon seeing him - but nothing happens. It's uncomfortable being this close to him, sure, but I don't feel like crying or running away. I shoulder my purse and shrug, moving to step around him. Still, I have little desire to be friendly with the boy who broke my heart yet. "Maybe."

"Jade."

His hand snags my wrist. The minute I feel the contact, I give a jerk as if I'm being electrocuted, yanking out of his grasp. He puts his palms out defensively. "I'm sorry," he says quickly, taking a step forward to which I respond with moving backward. He huffs, hands falling to his sides. "I'm sorry," he repeats.

"Yeah, you say that a lot," I grumble, turning on my heel. Beck is at my side before I can even move two steps. My eyes roll so hard, it's painful. "Beck, seriously, I don't feel like -"

"I miss you."

That stops my feet. I grit my teeth and glare at him, cursing every god that comes to mind. Why is it as soon as shit stops hitting the fan, Beck has to say shit like this? Because a part of me is still just as in love with him as I was a month ago when he dropped me off at my house in the dark. A part of me might likely always be in love with him, as horrible as it sounds. First loves never die, isn't that what they say?

I can tell he means it, which makes it even worse.

"I'm dating someone, Beck." My voice is sharp. I think of Tori, taking all of those suspicious looks just a few minutes ago with her head held high. I tilt my chin upward. "I'm moving on. Isn't that what we're supposed to do?"

"But -" Beck flexes his hands. Drops them. Then, he heaves a sigh and looks at me in silence. The bells sounds. I'm late. Again. It's a good thing Sikowitz truly believes I will steal away into his home with a lighter and some matches or I would have been in detention a long time ago for tardies.

Beck sighs again and extends a hand. "Friends?"

I eye the hand, like I expect a buzzer to be on the side of his palm. I meet his eyes again and I see the same boy I was with for nearly three years, a boy I love, a boy I know loved me, at least at some point. And how could I not be friends with him, after all that we've been through? I narrow my eyes. But something about this seems wrong, the way his eyes are pleading, the way he said I miss you ... I frown, but take his hand, pump it once, and let go. If he's having second thoughts now, it's too late. I shift my purse and turn away again, marching toward Sikowitz's class. I have Tori. I want Tori.

But that doesn't stop me from looking over my shoulder before I turn the corner to see Beck doing the same thing, a smile that looks more like a frown clinging to his lips.

A/N: Not much action, here, I know, but I promise the next few chapters will be fluffy. And then there will be angst, because that is the category it's been put into, after all.

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