A/N

8 Days, I'm patting myself on the back because this feels like the fastest update I've done in a while :-)

Emily is a bit of a prick in this chapter because I've been reading a couple Kaomi ones and well..it rubbed off on me, being the sadist I am I had actually had two endings planned for this one but I decided to go with one I thought you'd all like better, doing it for the people I am!

Anyway thankyou to ReadingNaomilyAllDayErDay (as always), steph the superstar, marsupial1974, mardycure, lana (to answer your question - maybe), goodstuffbro, suave, R3dN0te, Kaz, FrenchKiwi1994 (well done for reading it all so quickly!) and Tititimelow for the lovely reviews.

Thanks to everyone who read, followed, faved etc and welcome to the new readers :D

I don't own skins, just obsess over it a bit.

Chapter 21.

Naomi's POV.

I've been raised with the attitude of trying everything once, twice or even three times if you really like it, but I can honestly say that I'll never get on another bloody gondola or boat in my entire life again. Not only was it bollocks because I felt sick the entire time, but most of it was spent with Panda's fucking knee wedged into my back because we were limited on room, luckily I didn't end up being sick, really lucky actually seeming as Emily was the person in front of me, but the whole experience was just…utterly shit.

After the gondola ride finished we met up with a tour guide named Federica, she took us through the neighbourhoods and sights of Venice, we spent time walking in San Polo, Saint Marks Cathedral and the Doge's Palace which was probably one of the most detailed buildings I've ever seen in my life and it was definitely my favourite part of the tour, apart from all the people (and by people I mean tossers) that were hanging around looking at us all like we were about to do some major drug deal or something.

Federica was incredibly charming, she spoke about Venice like it was her first born child but she did it in a way that didn't bore me to death, her English was impeccable as well so I didn't spend the whole tour trying to understand her, it was a nice change.

By the time our walking tour had finished it was 4, we still had 4 hours to waste before having dinner at some Venetian restaurant that the tour had booked us so Cook, Freds, Effy, Bruno and I decided to go ice skating because after being in so many places that had a whole heap of buildings screaming 'history' in your face I just needed something modern and silly and I think they did too. Emily and Katie wanted to go on another Gondola ride instead which I think was kind of good because id spent literally the whole day with Emily and I needed some Effy time without Katie hanging around.

"I just want to say now, if I break a leg my travel insurance details are in a folder at the bottom of my suitcase" Bruno laughed nervously tightening the laces of his skates.

"Pussy" I teased taking Cooks outstretched hand to stomp over to the side of the rink. I can't say I've ever ice skated before but I did rollerblade a lot when I was a child, so it can't be that hard right?

"Christ I didn't think it'd be this slippery" I clung onto Cooks arm as tightly as I could trying to balance my legs minutes later.

"Fook Naomikins man I need me arm!" Cook flapped (yes flapped) his free arm towards the barrier of the ice rink. I knew we looked stupid even before I could hear Effy and Freddie laughing somewhere close by, I think id have laughed myself had I not been one of the two tragically failing at this. Cook finally was able to grab onto it though and pull me with him so that I was able to support myself, both arms planted on the barrier.

"How many times have you ice skated before?" I glared at Effy who had glided past me with ease.

"Never" she shrugged

"Course" I scoffed not even questioning her honesty. Effy has always been able to perfect things this easily, the first year I met her was the first year we both tried smoking weed from a bong together and Effy took the whole hit in one go! While I was left coughing until my throat felt like it doubled in size …okay so that's not exactly the same thing as ice skating but there's been other things she's magically done, I just can't think of them right now.

"Here let me help you" Effy grabbed my hand pulling me away from the only safe area I could reach. At this point I could actually picture myself crawling back to the edge if worse came to worse. "Nai stop clawing at my arm and just hold my hand for fuck sakes if you just move with me you won't fall".

"Well if you'd stop moving so fucking fast.."

"You see that kid over there? He's probably 5 and moving faster than us"

I decided to ignore her and focus on my legs, Effy patiently stood in the same position for a few minutes telling me to do things like stand up straight and stop putting all my weight into my knee's while I got my footing and it wasn't until I heard Freddie ask Cook if he wanted a hand that I loosened up.

"Nuh mate I'm not gonna fookin skate around holding ya hand"

"Suit yourself" Freddie shrugged skating passed us with a wink.

"Nai you're doing it" Effy smiled at me proudly, It took me a few seconds to get what she meant and when I did I almost fucked it all up with my excitement. "See, you just need to move with me without thinking about what you're doing too much".

"Hey can you teach me to do that Effy?" Bruno called out from behind and I wanted to tell him to piss off, that Effy's helping me, but she casually and more politely did it for me.

"Nope"

…

After a while of being guided by Effy on the ice I managed to do it myself, I wasn't perfect or anything but at least I could do it on my own and I was fucking proud of it.

I was on my third lap around the rink of doing it myself when all of a sudden the lights went out and were replaced by disco lights and an excited voice speaking through the speakers on each wall. I couldn't understand a word that was being said of course but I knew whatever it was, wasn't good for a learner like me. Thankfully Effy glided over and linked our arms together whilst I watched everyone else on the rink circle around together to music that was being played.

"Is this actually happening?" I scoffed looking around "there having a fucking disco in the middle of an ice rink? This is bloody ridiculous, did they not stop to think about people that aren't expert ice skaters?"

"There was a warning over the p.a five minutes ago"

"Yeah well it was in Italian wasn't it?"

Effy shrugged letting go of me so that I could hold onto the barrier and step off of the ice and once we'd taken our shoes off I called out to Cook (who looked like he was actually enjoying himself with one hand on a girls arse) to let him know that we were going out for a cigarette.

"You went alright then" Effy smiled picking her bag up from the seat we'd left our stuff at "bit funny at the start though, wish id taken a photo of you and Cook"

"Fuck off" I laughed "not everybody is as-"

"Hey you's done aswell then? My feet are killing me" Bruno panted stomping over and flopping down on a seat next to Effy.

"Maybe your shoes are too small?" I smiled at him deciding to sit down because it would be rude to just leave him here alone.

"Ouch" Effy scrunched up her face looking at his foot while I stood up and walked around the table to see "I'll get some ice".

"Jesus Christ, didn't you know they were too tight?" I gaped at the skin that had been cut into around his shin.

"I don't know I wasn't thinking properly"

"Clearly not" I giggled sitting down beside him, then instantly regretting it when he shifted along the seat closer to me. So by now I'm very aware that he seems to like me, or maybe he just wants to shag me but that's not the point. Bruno is a nice guy but as nice as he is it's just not going to happen, there's a few reasons why not actually, to name a few; he is way too tall for my liking, his hair isn't red and his eyes are definitely the wrong colour and that's not even mentioning what he has between his pants is just something I'm really not looking for in this part of my life. His just not Emily, no one is. But I can't be a prick about it, I mean… I'm going to be stuck with the guy for the rest of this tour and having someone mope around is the last thing I want. So I sucked it up and gave him an awkward smile all the while shifting a bit further away from him.

Just because I'm not going to reject him vocally it doesn't mean I'm going to put up with his advances psychically.

"Have you skated before? You looked like a natural out there"

"You're serious?"

"Yeah" Bruno laughed

"That's only because I chose the right shoe size" I laughed with him.

Once Effy got back I decided just to accompany Bruno back to the hostel because he asked and what was I supposed to say? It wasn't that bad though because id made Effy come along, Cook had offered but I didn't want to ruin his time with his lady friend from earlier so after reassuring him for the tenth time that we'd be fine, we left.

The walk itself was awkward, Bruno was limping his life away and unfortunately thought it'd be a great idea to just have his arm around my shoulders 'for support'. I could see where he was coming from though because Effy's a stick so she'd be useless but it still annoyed me. Bruno spoke the whole time, about his family mostly, I think he has a younger brother but I can't be sure because I wasn't paying that much attention. Effy walked ahead of us much to my dislike but I didn't blame her because he was being a bit of a drag. The worst part of the whole thing though was that when we got back to the hostel the last person in the world I wanted to see right now was sitting out the front talking on her phone and Bruno made a big scene about hugging me and kissing my cheek whilst thanking me for 'taking care of him'. I could see Emily's eyes following his every move like a hawk and I really just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole.

"Fag?" Effy passed me a lit cigarette once Bruno had hobbled inside. I smiled weakly at her and took it glancing at Emily every now and then who'd gone back to picking at her converse and talking on the phone animatedly. "He likes you". I rolled my eyes at her for pointing out something so obvious. "He also likes pissing her off" Effy nodded in Emily's direction.

"Do you think she's mad?" I bit my lip not daring to turn around and look at Emily.

"Probably" Effy shrugged "he's either really daft or just being a twat and id go for the latter because it's more than obvious you and Emily are shagging"

"We're not shagging!" I exclaimed a little two loudly "christ, you're such a tit you know, did she hear that?"

"Yeah think so and I know you aren't shagging" Effy smirked

"Why did you ask then?"

Shrug

"Did you's have fun ice skating?" my favourite person asked coming up behind me and wrapping her arms securely around my waist.

"It was marvellous, you should have seen Nai's moves on the ice rink, professional? I think not..more like master!"

"Stop being a tit" I tried to glare at Effy but couldn't help smiling once id heard Emily chuckle from behind

Effy smirked and held up her hands in defence stepping on her cigarette "I'm off to ravish your sister, where is she?"

"Eww Christ Eff that's disgusting…she's inside"

"Don't bloody do it in the room I want to lay down!" I called after her as Emily turned my body around to face her. "Hey" I smiled dumbly at her.

"Hey" Emily leaned up pressing her lips against mine, I expected a quick peck but she she held onto me tighter keeping me pressed against her and I could taste her berry chap stick, smell her distinctive shampoo and feel my heart pounding against my chest. Out of all the kisses Emily and I share these are the ones that make me the most nervous because every time it happens I feel like she's trying to tell me something, I just don't know what it is. "I missed you, I know it's stupid because I-"

"I missed you too" I smiled against her lips giving her one last peck before pulling her inside "I'm tired do you want to lie down with me?"

…

"Oi bitches you have to get ready"

"Y'know…I really thought I was having a nightmare and then I woke up and realised it was actually the reality that is Katie Fitch talking to me while I sleep" I mumbled reluctantly rolling over to face her while Emily groaned into consciousness.

"Suit yourself dozy cow and by the way you owe me, that tossers been knocking every fucking 10 minutes for you, the least you could do is thank me for sending him away"

"Who?" I rubbed my eyes taking in Katie's appearance. She had her hair curled and was wearing a tight red dress with black heels and it reminded me that we had to go out for dinner tonight.

"Bruno..so can you like go sort out whatever problem he has and stop perving on my tits please?"

"I'm not perving!" I scoffed feeling Emily's grip tighten around my waist "what does he want?"

"Yeah like I fucking asked" Katie scoffed back, I decided it'd be best to go see whatever he wanted because she was irritating me so much I needed to get away from her for 5 minutes.

I didn't bother changing into anything and after Emily finally let go of me I trudged my way down the hall in my singlet and pj pants because fuck it, I've no one to impress apart from Emily and she's seen me like this a thousand times before. I hesitantly knocked on the boy's door praying that at least JJ would be in there because anytime spent alone with Bruno is usually awkward as hell.

"Naomi!" Bruno opened the door smiling at me "hey, hope Katie didn't wake you just to come see me" he walked back towards his bed. I did a once over of the room and had to bit my lip to hold back the disappointed sigh that was threatening to escape.

"Eh…no, no she didn't" pay attention Campbell, be on guard! "Everything alright?"

"Great! Come sit down"

"Oh no" I shook my head feigning a smile "I've actually got to get-"

"Well there is something actually, I…there's this girl I know and we get on really well but I have no idea of how to let her know that I want to be more than just friends and I was wondering if you could help me, I mean we get along well and you're a girl so… what should I do?"

Oh fucking hell just swallow me now ground.

"I mean you don't have to if-"

"Tell me about her" I cut him off, leaning against the door handle just because I couldn't be bothered with this shit right now.

"She's beautiful" Bruno smiled at the ground "really beautiful actually, brunette, blue eyes"

Wait what? Brunette?, Dance Naomi, dance, you're free!

"Brun..wait it's not Eff is it?"

"No" Bruno laughed "met her in school, we've stayed in touch through phone and stuff"

"That's great" I smiled my first real actual smile at him in days "well you could…I dunno, ask her out?" I suggested thinking I was definitely the last person in the world to be asking advice on this to.

"That's a bit blunt isn't it?"

"To be honest with you, I'm really bad at this stuff" I shrugged "give me a night to think it over yeah?"

"Sure" Bruno smiled "oh and Naomi? …do I look nice in this or is it a bit much?"

"Er..yeah you look nice" I nodded awkwardly because really, who even asks that? Well at least in this situation, who would ask that?. When I turned around to leave his room I knocked into someone but luckily that person was strong enough to stabilize us both and prevent any limbs being broken.

"Em? Shit sorry I didn't see you there…what're you doing here?"

"Going for a smoke...want one?" Emily had a funny look on her face, an expression I couldn't place because id never seen it before.

"No I'm gonna hop in the shower" I leant forward and kissed her cheek making sure to linger "I'll save some hot water for you".

"Okay"

After id showered I quickly towel dried my hair and changed back into my pj's because I wasn't going to get makeup on the dress id chosen to wear, especially since this was meant to be a really posh place and I didn't want to walk in with any questionable stains. I cheerfully hummed opening the door to our room and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the look on Emily's face. She was sitting on my bed staring at the ground as though she wanted to rip it up and Katie was sat beside her with an arm around my shoulder.

"Ems what's wrong?" I rushed over and dropped my knees to the floor.

Emily's gaze slowly lifted from the floor until she was looking at me and a small smile spread across her lips, but it wasn't the usual one's id get from her, this one didn't even come close to them. I tried to study her expression and body language to pick anything out that would be a hint as to what was wrong but I was drawing blanks because I'm not Effy Stonem.

"Nothing" Emily leaned forwards pressing her lips to my forehead "won't be long" she stood up and grabbed her clothes and then left to have a shower.

"She's upset because of that wanker you know" Katie stated getting up off the bed, I heard Effy laugh in the background and say something along the lines of 'so much for keeping it from Naomi' but I was too distracted to listen to her properly because Emily was upset and that made me feel upset. I wanted to run into the shower and tell her that she has it all wrong and that Bruno doesn't like me but that would be the worst idea in the world considering id instantly get distracted by her tits, I'm only human.

"He fancies a brunette he told me just now, wanted help with it" I stood up from the floor and sat on my bed to go through my suitcase and find the dress I wanted to wear.

"Look babes, I don't want to be like a drag or whatever but have you seen the way he looks at you?" Katie sighed turning away from her makeup to face me "I don't buy it and neither will Emsy"

"Hallelujah" Effy added her two cents

"You need to like…be careful, don't break my sisters heart or I'll break you"

"Fuck sakes I don't like him like that Katie!" I snapped

"I know that bitch I'm just saying I don't trust him, just tell Emsy what he said when she gets out of the shower and then the two of you can get over it and get ready faster so that we can all go out and have a well good night yeah?" Katie huffed walking out of the room.

"Nai" Effy came over and crossed her legs on the edge of the bed facing me

"Why does everything always have to be so complicated, I just…she knows I like her and that should be all that matters right?" I leaned my head on her collarbone letting her wrap her arms around my shoulder because it was just ones of those times that I needed to be reminded that I had at least one constant relationship in my life.

"Last week Katie almost knocked out a guy that tried to make a move on me, what does that tell you?"

"That she needs anger management"

"Probably" we laughed for a minute "but that wasn't my point"

"I know Eff"

A little while later Emily came back into the room looking much happier than when she'd left. I was putting the finishing touches on my makeup when she sneaked up and slid her arms around my waist whispering how nice I looked in the tight navy dress id chosen, and although I was happy that she had noticed- because let's be honest here, I was only making the effort for her- I was still a bit taken aback at how quickly her mood had changed.

"Bruno likes someone" I blurted out randomly to the back of Emily's head once she'd started getting ready. To give her credit she only stiffened for a second but it wasn't quick enough to be unnoticeable. "He wants me to help him…kind of get her? I don't know, she sounds nice though…brown hair blue eyes" I continued when it became clear that Emily wasn't going to say anything.

"Get her? Is he twelve?" Emily laughed to herself, fuck sakes she wasn't going to make this easy for me was she? I couldn't exactly come out with 'yeah so you can stop worrying now because he doesn't like me', that would be a bit presumptuous... what if that wasn't Emily's problem in the first place?

"I think it's nice" I sat down and watched her bite her lip and frown at two dresses sprawled out on her bed.

"Are you going to help him?" Emily picked up the red one and gave me a look that was too much similar to Katie for my liking. She may have well just added 'I dare you' at the end of it.

"No..I don't think so, what do I know about that stuff?" I answered truthfully

"Give yourself credit Luigi" Emily winked throwing the dress back on her bed and picking out a pair of shoes. I think we both knew this probably needed to be discussed further but I let it settle for now because well, I'm a coward.

…

The restaurant we went to was extremely elegant; definitely not my type of usual place but it was still nice to be there. It had black wooden floors and dark grey walls that hung paintings that looked like they cost more than every house I've ever lived in. The circular bar was situated in the middle of the restaurant and from what I could see there were at least 5 people just serving drinks because of the amount of patrons in the place, it was an organized chaos though and the waiter had only taken a couple of minutes to come over to us with menu's so while I sat watched the bar staff I definitely made up my mind about leaving a tip.

I ordered a burger (which I was surprised was even on the menu) and a small salad and after handing it to Emily with a smile I pretty much jumped at the offer of going to the bar with Katie, I was sat between Emily and Bruno so do you really blame me?.

"Oh I'm so having a mojito, can you believe this is the actual first place we've been to that has them?"

"What are they?" I frowned up at the board above the bar involuntarily shifting a little closer to Katie because of the amount of people we were surrounded by.

"Come on" Katie grabbed my arm pushing a few people to get to the side "can we get two mojito shots with bacardi and three bottles of Torresella for table fifteen, but like... we'll have the shots here" Katie turned around and look at me funny for a second before turning back to the bartender who was already writing our wine order down "but make them in front of us yeah?".

As it turns out, the shot tasted just about as nice as off milk would after sitting in the sun for two weeks and Katie and I spent the five minutes it took getting back to our seats bickering about it.

"What took you so long?" Emily leaned in placing a lingering kiss on my cheek seconds after id sat down, I considered telling her that id had a shot at the bar with Katie but then I didn't want anyone looking at me with eyes that said 'you should be careful' because even though I know that everyone meant well I still wanted to live my life without boundaries. Katie had been the first person that hadn't treated me like I was fragile so with that thought in mind I smiled and told Emily the line was long.

Dinner for the most part was really good, I managed to get through half of my burger and a quarter of my salad before feeling like I was about to give birth and Cook had even finished the rest so I didn't need to feel bad about wasting food. We had all finished the first three bottles of wine within half an hour and while Emily and Katie went to the bar to get more I was going through every clichéd movie I had ever seen to Bruno so that he could get ideas on how to impress the girl he liked.

By our fifth bottle of wine I knew I was drunk, not in a slurring your words kind of way but I was having a really good time. Emily took the cake having just finished her sixth glass of wine, she had spent most of her time 'working the table' which was really just her stumbling over to Cook and Fred's and stealing a chair from another table to sit between them.

"So Bruno yeah, tell us about this girl you fancy".

I bit my lip to stop the laughter that was going to come out at how forward Katie had said it and then shrugged at Bruno who gave me a 'you told her' kind of look, s'not like I could deny it now anyway so I shared a quick smirk with Eff and listened to Bruno stumbled over his words describing how 'beautiful' this girl was to Katie, who to give credit to was doing a fantastic job at pretending like she was actually interested when the truth was that she was obviously digging for the truth because she didn't believe him.

"Yeah I like get that she's well fit but I meant her personality"

"I dunno…she's nice, why do you care anyway?" Bruno shifted awkwardly in his seat

"Naomi said you wanted help"

"Believe me if anyone could help you it would be Katie, you've dated what? 500 blokes?" I grinned at Katie

"Fuck off lezza" she laughed "you should call her now and just like ask her how her day was"

"Aren't you two dating though?" Bruno looked between Effy and Katie

"Yeah and?"

"Well, I mean it's a bit different isn't it?"

"Muff, Cock it's all the same" Katie shrugged at the same time that Emily had almost fell on my lap.

"Id take that as a compliment if I were you" I laughed at Effy and then leaned in for a kiss that Emily was clearly trying to get with her not so subtle attempts.

"Oh I do"

"Fuck sakes Emsy can you like try to keep your tongue in your mouth for five minutes so that I can finish my salad without wanting to throw up"

"Lets go" Emily whispered in my ear totally ignoring the glare her sister was sending her from across the table and I decided that it probably was a good idea, I was feeling a bit tired anyway so I helped Emily up (who had now began grabbing my ass) and said goodbye to everyone.

The restaurant we had been at was in a busy part of Venice so it didn't take long to get a taxi, the ride back was anything but pleasant though because the driver didn't speak a word of English so I had to try to explain where we were going using my hands in between grabbing Emily's wandering hands that kept making their way up my thigh.

"Ems, fuck" I giggled searching through my bag for the key to our room while Emily planted kisses along anywhere she could reach (which was mainly my neck) and tried to push me against the wall. After about five minutes of this we finally got into our room and within seconds I was being walked backwards towards our bunk.

"I want you Naoms" Emily growled pushing me down onto the bed, I had just about enough time to shift around so that my head was on the pillow before she climbed on top of me. I didn't really know what to take of all this, the only other time Emily had been remotely this forward was when we were both high off mdma and in that bathroom but even this was different. Emily had this kind of hungry look in her eyes and everything about her movements were rushed, it was as though she thought if she didn't fuck me fast enough it would never happen.

When Emily put her knee between my thighs and started rocking back and forth my breath hitched so loudly that I think everyone who was in the hostel would have heard it, she wasn't giving me time to process what was happening, every touch was so fast that it felt like a blur and all I could concentrate on was our lips moving together and the way Emily was gripping my shoulders so tightly that I knew there would be bruises tomorrow.

By the time I was able to hold onto one of the many thoughts that were going through my head Emily was biting on my collarbone and her hand was quickly making its way towards my centre and I knew that this was all wrong because it felt wrong. Each second that passed made me feel more like a random whore that she wanted to shag other than someone she was actually interested in and I didn't want it to be this way.

"Ems stop" I sighed pushing her shoulders back a bit, I don't know if she just ignored my protests or didn't hear them but I had to repeat it three times before I actually freaked out and by that time her hand was against my knickers and I just wanted to get away from her. I didn't want to be around this Emily because she's not the one that I know, not the one that I like.

"Fucking STOP! I'm not someone you can just fuck Emily!" I yelled using all my force to push her off me, it worked and her back hit the wall harder than I intended.

"You're treating me like some random slut that you've brought back just to, to shag and…and I'm not that okay?" I panted moving further away from her.

"I…" Emily hugged her knees against the wall while I got off the bed and grabbed a jumper and my bag from the suitcase. She didn't say anything else after that and I don't know if it was because she didn't know what to say or that she was just too drunk to say anything, I didn't stick around to think about it though and was glad that once I left the hostel she didn't follow me.

When I got outside my first thought was 'where am I going to go' and after no answer came up I sat down against the wall feeling a little defeated. It wasn't that I was upset, because I wasn't; I was pissed off at Emily for thinking she could treat me that way and pissed off at myself for expecting more of her. I guess it really doesn't matter whether you like someone or not does it? Sex is just that, sex.

I want to shag Emily, that much I know, I mean that was like every wet dream I've ever had all mashed together at once… but it's not enough is it? Because I want her, I want our first time to last so long ill have it imprinted in my memory forever and above anything else I just want it to mean something.

"Hey"

"Hey" I replied blandly not even bothering to look as she sat down against the wall beside me.

"I'm sorry… and I know that it probably doesn't mean anything now but I am, I didn't…I don't want that" Emily wiped some tears from her eyes "I just want you so much and I was worried that-"

"What Emily? That I wouldn't put out?" I snapped bringing the cigarette to my lips.

"No!" I could see her looking at me in my peripheral "I was worried that maybe you'd wake up tomorrow and want someone else, I know it's stupid but I wanted to show you how great we could be together…how much I want to be with you"

"Being with me isn't just about sex you know" I looked at her. Emily had changed into her pajamas and for the first time since I've known her she looked so small and vulnerable, her tears were running like a river and there was so much regret in her eyes that it made my throat twist, I wondered if I was seeing a glimpse of what she used to be like.

"I know" Emily sniffled.

We sat there silently for a few minutes listening to the distant sound of party goers and music from the bars and clubs that were close by and I wished that I was one of those people stumbling home drunk, only having to worry about the hangover they were going to have in the morning. I thought over what Emily had said about being worried that id wake up tomorrow and want someone else and then it hit me for the first time, she's serious about this, about us. It can't be just a fling to her if she was worrying about that and as much as it confused me that she even thought it (because I think I've made it clear who I want to be with) I still felt like this whole thing could have been avoided if we had have just spoken about it, if she had of come to me and told me she was worried. But then does Emily know how much I want her back?, it's obvious to me…but sitting here in the cold with her after what has just happened made me think that maybe I don't really know Emily at all, maybe she needs reassurance.

"I'm here aren't I? …I mean, I came back with you tonight; we were the only people in that room. I can't promise that this is what I'll always want but I know that you're the only person I want to be with right now" I softly said staring at my hands. I felt like I had just bared it all and although sharing this much with someone is never going to feel comfortable for me it was still something I had to do. Emily needed to know where we stood, fuck even I needed to know at this point so I swallowed down any last bit of fear I had and told her "I want to be with you Emily, even when this trip is finished with…I, I want it to work, us to work" and before I could even finish the words a heavy lump had jumped on me and I felt kisses covering every part of my face.

"I want that too" Emily smiled and cried and kissed my face all over "I want to just be with you and I don't care if that means we'll never have sex, I just want you Naoms. Can we…Would you?"

"Yeah we can" I laughed wrapping my arms around my girlfriend for the first time.

Personally I wanted to punish Emily more...but I think the story will work better this way anyway, what did you think? X