Thanks for all the wonderful reviews for the last chapter everyone! I know I kind of threw you a curve ball. There's a lot of emotion going on in this chapter. I hope you guys like what you read. Please review to share your thoughts!
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin
21: The Search Begins
They rode hard, reaching Merlin's usual clearing in minutes rather than close to an hour like they had before when traveling here on foot. Arthur took care of securing the horses to the trees while Merlin proceeded to the clearing to call the dragons. When Arthur arrived his warlock was sitting in the grass, staring up at the darkened sky.
"Weird to think that only this morning the two of you were wed," he commented as Arthur joined him.
The king let out a frustrated sigh. "I never would have thought my wedding night would turn out like this."
"Yeah, imagine what the people would say if they found out you were spending it with me rather than your wife – OUCH!"
"You deserved that!" Arthur snapped as he pulled his hand away.
Merlin rubbed his ear, a look of offense on his face. "So instead of slapping me upside the head you've decided to pull my hat down or flick my ears? How is that fair?"
"If you want, I could always punch you in the arm," Arthur offered with a grin.
Merlin grimaced. "Save that for the knights."
"What's the matter, Merlin? Not a fan of that kind of horseplay?"
"Receiving a fist-size bruise on my bicep is not my idea of horseplay, Arthur."
"My, how very delicate you are – still a girl, then?"
The warlock shook his head, a small smile lifting the corners of his mouth. "Still a prat?"
Arthur smirked before lightly shoving his shoulder with his own. "Idiot." After a pause, however, Arthur's anxiety returned. "What if the elven tales are wrong?"
The king looked up, wondering what kind of emotion he would find on his warlock's face. Merlin was staring off into the distance, a heavy frown on his pale features. "Then I'll do what I was meant to do the first time," he answered.
Arthur frowned. The first time...? Wait!
"Merlin, you are not going to sacrifice yourself! What the heck is wrong with you, constantly feeling the need to end your own life?"
"My life is worth less than yours and Gwen's."
"Say that again and I'll throw you in the stocks for a month!" Arthur warned, angered that Merlin even believed this to be true. "You may think your life isn't worth much but it's priceless to me. Did it ever occur to you how I would feel if you left me, Merlin?"
The warlock turned to stare at the king with a furrowed brow. "I never thought–"
"No, you didn't," Arthur snapped. "You've told me many times that we're two sides of the same coin and yet you never have considered just what it would do to me if you left me behind due to some insane belief that you have to keep me happy and safe even if that means sacrificing yourself to do so! Well, I have news for you, you idiot: if you died I wouldn't be happy! I would be utterly miserable! I experienced nearly losing you once and I will never ever go through that again! So stop trying to decide that your death will bring me happiness alright?"
"Then you'd better not think about sacrificing yourself, you arrogant prat, because the coin goes both ways," Merlin mumbled dejectedly.
Arthur studied Merlin intently. The warlock's ebony hair curled slightly under the wide brim of his dark blue hat, his eyes downcast as he pulled some blades of grass out of the earth with his long fingers. A heavy frown played on his face, a look of guilt Arthur had become all too familiar with since Merlin had been restored by Freya. The king's anger dissipated and he let out a sigh of regret. Placing a placating hand on Merlin's shoulder he shook it slightly, waiting until those unique blue eyes caught his own.
Arthur smiled apologetically. "Thank you, Merlin."
The warlock's brow furrowed further than before. "For what?"
"For being so willing to die for Guinevere – for me," Arthur answered. "It means more than you may know."
The warlock smiled. "You're willing to die for her too. I don't know if you'd do so for me though."
"I would without hesitation," Arthur stated immediately, ignoring the desire to tease the warlock with a falsehood.
Merlin's eyes softened. "I know," he whispered.
Arthur let out a frustrated sigh as he looked up at the starry night. "What's taking them so long?"
A soft beating of wings was then heard and Arthur glanced up just as Aithusa appeared, circling around a few times before landing gracefully in the clearing. The second her blue eyes connected with his, Arthur sensed her excitement and stood up to brace himself.
"Arthur!"
The king's eyes widened, his form stiffening in surprise – a very poor decision since the next thing he knew, he was lying on his back in the grass, a large dragon pinning him to the earth. But, in all fairness, it wasn't his fault he was caught off-guard by the light soprano voice coming from Aithusa's mouth!
And besides, Aithusa really was getting too big to keep doing this; in the short three weeks since they'd first been introduced the dragon had grown four feet! Arthur wouldn't have been surprised if she grew to be Kilgharrah's size in a year's time if she kept up such a rapid growth rate.
"A-thusa," he grunted, "get – off!"
"Sorry," she muttered, doing as asked.
"You can talk!" he exclaimed, rubbing his chest.
The dragon's lips pulled back revealing a draconic smile. "That's rather observant of you."
Merlin let out a laugh while Arthur frowned and asked, "Are all dragons and dragonlords born with some level of snarky retorts to throw out at will?"
"We just might be," Merlin chuckled, stepping forward to rub Aithusa's head. "When did you start to speak, Aithusa?"
"Around midday, give or take," she mused, sitting back on her haunches with a regal pride in her countenance.
"But, you're still a baby," Arthur argued. "How can you be speaking in complete sentences?"
"Dragons learn things a lot faster than humans," she answered with a dragon-like shrug before her long neck lifted her head towards the sky. "Kilgharrah comes."
Arthur and Merlin both looked up just in time to see the giant golden form of the Great Dragon before he gracefully landed in the middle of the clearing. After he had settled himself in the grass and bowed low to his dragonlord, Arthur and Merlin approached, Aithusa bounding over to her larger counterpart with the energy of youth.
"Young warlock, why do I sense such great anxiety between you and King Arthur?"
"Gwen's dying," Merlin answered, getting right to the point. "Maxim Horvath, one of the Magical Tournament participants, betrayed us."
Arthur then cut in, explaining what had happened. Merlin's brow furrowed and he tried interrupting at one point to ask how Arthur knew all the details but the king only told him he'd explain later. Kilgharrah's frown was heavy by the time he'd finished.
"The bite of the Questing Beast is a fatal one, sire," Kilgharrah sighed. "There is but one way to counter it."
"That's not true," Aithusa interrupted.
The large dragon narrowed his eyes skeptically. "You know of another cure?"
"The tears of a phoenix can cure all ills," the white dragon stated.
Kilgharrah scoffed, "While that may be the case, the phoenix has not been seen on the earth in over a thousand years."
"That doesn't mean they're gone," Arthur argued. "Adaline told us they live in the Perilous Lands in a place called the Forgotten City."
"She's right!" Aithusa confirmed. "I've seen them!"
"Preposterous!" Kilgharrah argued. "I have traveled many times across the Perilous Lands without seeing any of them."
Merlin cleared his throat, stopping both dragons from continuing what was clearly the beginning of an argument. "Not to be indelicate, but, have you traveled to the Perilous Lands since being freed?"
Kilgharrah opened his mouth and then closed it. "I suppose I haven't," he finally confessed.
"Well I have," Aithusa declared.
Merlin looked at Kilgharrah with an accusatory glare. "You let Aithusa wander off alone?"
"Young dragons are meant to explore the land on their own, Merlin," Kilgharrah defensively replied. "We do not coddle our young like humans do."
"Have you forgotten that both of you are the last of your race?" Merlin reprimanded. "If anything happens to her, the dragon line will die! I can't believe you let her out of your sight! She's just a baby!"
"Hey!" Aithusa complained. "I'm not a baby anymore! Compared to humans I'm a teenager!"
Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose, his anger escalating as an argument ensued between the three concerning age and responsibility. The king tried to be patient but he was Pendragon born; limited temperament was an inbred weakness in his family.
"ENOUGH!" he shouted, interrupting them. "Have all of you forgotten the reason we've gathered?! Guinevere is dying right now! Aithusa says that she's seen a phoenix in the Perilous Lands. Adaline said the same thing. Both of them have been there in the last twenty years – unlike you, Kilgharrah – and that is two witnesses – more than enough to convince me that we need to go to the Perilous Lands."
"But what if both of them were wrong?" Kilgharrah challenged. "Your wife will not last long, even with the aid of magic."
"I told the Old Religion that if it wants me to be the Once and Future King then it better save my wife or else there will be no such sovereign," Arthur snapped. "I'm sticking by that decision no matter what."
"Arthur, to say such things could be dangerous," Merlin warned.
"I don't care!"
"Well you should, you clot pole, because you just might cause someone else to die in order to keep her alive!"
Arthur paused, his irritation and impatience disappearing slightly. "What do you mean?"
"Exactly what I said," Merlin sighed. "When I went to sacrifice my life for yours, the Old Religion wouldn't accept my offering because of the destiny it had given me. It took my mother instead. If you tell it that you won't fulfill your destiny without Guinevere, it could very well take someone else you love in her place to keep her alive. Think about it, Arthur. We could lose Leon, Gwaine, Kay, Gaius – it could be anyone. Are you willing to make such a gamble?"
Realizing his mistake, Arthur's impatience washed away, replaced with guilt. "I didn't know," he whispered.
The warlock sighed, resting a hand on the king's shoulder. "This is why I'm here, Arthur, to help you understand the magical world. You acted in ignorance."
"So did you, young warlock," Kilgharrah pointed out.
"Only because you forgot to mention that my offering would be rejected!" Merlin snapped. As easily as the anger came, it dissipated, replaced with a weary sigh. "Sorry."
"As am I, Merlin," Kilgharrah said regretfully.
Merlin smiled up at him, a sorrowful understanding passing between them. The warlock cleared his throat. "Anyway, Arthur's right; time is against us and we'd be foolish to delay traveling any longer than necessary. Aithusa, are you positive that you saw a phoenix in the Perilous Lands?"
The young dragon nodded. "Yes," she stated with certainty. "It was there, Merlin. I passed over the Elven Woods and came upon a range of mountains unlike any I have ever seen. Magic permeates the air and has lifted the rock. The Forgotten City Adaline spoke of no longer dwells on earth but in the sky, large chunks of rock floating precariously with vines tying them to the earth. It is there I saw the phoenix."
Arthur's first inclination was to dismiss even the remote possibility that what Aithusa had just said was real. The king had seen many magical feats since he'd learned of Merlin's magic and accepted it into his kingdom – the greatest was still credited to the warlock's display of the cosmos in his room – but the mere mention of floating cities was a little too far-fetched for the king to believe.
"Cities do not float, young one," Kilgharrah chided.
Well, apparently Arthur wasn't the only one who thought Aithusa's story implausible. The king looked at Merlin to get his opinion and found the warlock not filled with doubt but with consideration.
"Merlin, do you believe this?" Arthur prompted.
"You don't believe me?" Aithusa asked, hurt in her eyes.
The king bit his lip. "I want to, Aithusa, I really do. But floating cities? I've never heard of such a thing and I've studied countless maps and detailed descriptions of each established kingdom in Albion."
"That might be true but how much information were you able to gather about the Perilous Lands when you went on your quest?" Merlin countered. "There isn't much, Arthur. There's next to nothing written about the Elven Woods – believe me, I've checked. It's very possible that a floating city could have been missed – especially since your father made it his personal life mission to eradicate everything about magic from existence."
Arthur frowned, contemplating everything Merlin had said. He'd made some excellent points.
"Aithusa would not lie about information that concerns the life of the Once and Future Queen," Kilgharrah finally decided. "Much has changed in the Perilous Lands since my imprisonment and release. When Merlin ended the Fisher King's suffering, his freed spirit released the curse that was upon the land. It may not be the same as what is in your memories. I felt the magic shift but I have yet to see the effects with my own eyes."
"Well I saw them," Aithusa said, her eyes softening in happiness. "Green country, white shores, clear blues skies, and magical creatures roaming free; it's paradise."
Arthur and Merlin shared a glance.
"That's definitely not the Perilous Lands I remember," Arthur muttered.
"I guess we'll just have to see how different it is when we get there," Merlin said with a hesitant smile.
Arthur nodded in agreement before turning back to the dragons. "Kilgharrah, Aithusa, thank you for your help. Could you protect Camelot while Merlin and I are gone?"
"We'd be happy to, Arthur," Aithusa said while Kilgharrah nodded.
"If the situation becomes dire in your absence I may have a way of helping the queen remain tethered to this world," Kilgharrah offered. "I could fuse her soul with my magical core. It would be a temporary procedure and I would only suggest it for a day – if she were to remain tied to my magic longer than that, the power would destroy her body."
"Let's pray you don't have to do that then," Arthur muttered, terrified by the thought, "But thank you for the offer, Kilgharrah. I'll be sure to pass along the word to Iseldir."
"Good luck, both of you," Aithusa said, rubbing her head against their thighs. "May your journey be victorious."
The king and warlock turned to reenter the woods when Kilgharrah called out to them.
"Merlin, Arthur, I feel I must caution you. Phoenixes no longer roam the land of men because of the abuse they were shown. The healing power of the phoenix tear is only possible when it comes immediately from the creature itself. You will not be able to simply collect the tears and have them produce the same effect. You must find a phoenix willing to leave its homeland and travel with you back to Camelot. Besides our race, theirs is the noblest of the magical creatures. They will not come with you if they do not feel you are worthy. This is a dangerous mission and one I cannot guarantee will bring success. You must prepare yourself for any outcome, King Arthur."
Arthur did not like the hidden meaning behind those words but he had to acknowledge that Kilgharrah was right. He was trying to remind the king not to close off all possible outcomes; it was wisdom but it still hurt his heart.
"Thank you, Kilgharrah," Arthur sincerely replied before walking away from the clearing with Merlin towards the horses.
A few minutes later they came upon the southern gate. Arthur didn't want to risk running into anyone by taking the main route seeing that it was his wedding night and he should have been in the castle instead of out in the forest with his Court Sorcerer and First Adviser. The king dismounted and handed the reins to Merlin.
"We'll meet back here in twenty minutes. Gather all the supplies you think you'll need – including anything magical. I'll make sure the knights know of the plan."
"Right," Merlin muttered, guiding the horses towards the stables while Arthur proceeded to head towards the citadel.
The castle was surprisingly silent and when he happened on the courtyard Arthur understood why; the festivities were over, the people having returned to their homes. Figuring that Percival was the cause of this, Arthur took the steps two at a time. He hadn't made it far down the main corridor when a set of approaching footsteps made him turn to see Leon, Bedivere, and Kay hurrying towards him.
"Arthur," Leon said with relief. "We were hoping you'd return soon."
"Has something happened?" Arthur asked, fear for his wife plaguing him.
"No, sire," Kay assured. "The others were just getting restless."
"Where are they? I thought all of you would be ready and waiting in the courtyard?"
"Percival only just finished clearing the area five minutes ago," Bedivere revealed. "The rest of us have been preparing supplies as you've ordered. Everyone is ready."
Arthur nodded in approval. "Excellent. Gather everyone together by the South Gate. We're to leave in twenty minutes."
"And where are we headed, sire?" asked Leon.
Sensing the unspoken fear in his First Knight's eyes, Arthur placed a reassuring hand on Leon's shoulder. "It's alright, Leon. The dragons confirmed the existence of the phoenix and the healing properties of its tears. We're heading for the Perilous Lands."
Leon wasn't the only one to visible relax. Bedivere let out a sigh of relief and Kay started to grin, his eyes glinting with adventure.
"Thank goodness," Leon muttered.
Arthur patted his shoulder before stepping back. "I must see to Guinevere and speak with Iseldir but I will meet up with you at the gate. Merlin should be there as well – as long as the idiot doesn't stick with his usual schedule of being late."
The three knights chuckled before inclining their heads, heading for the knights' corridors to tell the others of the plan. Arthur quickly strode off to the physician's chambers. Once there, he quietly entered and observed the scene. Guinevere was still surrounded by Hunith and three muttering druids while Iseldir and Gaius were hard at work making bandages, the druid cutting them up before Gaius soaked them in some kind of liquid. Both looked up as Arthur entered, acknowledging him but continuing in their work.
"How is she?" Arthur asked as he glanced at his wife.
Gaius glanced over his shoulder and smiled sadly. "As well as can be expected, sire."
"My people are keeping the poison from spreading," Iseldir assured.
"Their magic is halting its course," Gaius added. "She should be fine for as long as we've promised."
"Good, because the dragons assured us that the phoenix can be found in the Perilous Lands. We're leaving tonight but before we go I wanted to pass on what Kilgharrah told me."
He quickly explained the dragon's proposition and the dire warning that accompanied it.
Iseldir looked surprised. "To have a dragon offer such a thing," he whispered in awe, "It is a very rare gift; your queen is highly favored, Arthur Pendragon."
Arthur looked over at Guinevere, his countenance softening. "She truly is, Iseldir."
Leaving the two men, the king walked over to his queen, mindful not to disturb the druids who were chanting over her, their countenances focused and their eyes a constant gold. Hunith gave him an understanding nod before leaving the queen's side to give Arthur a moment with her. The king sent her a grateful smile before he took her chair and gently caressed Guinevere's face. It was fairly pale, her eyes sunken, her brow slightly furrowed as an uncomfortable frown pulled at her lips. She was clearly sick and the king felt his heart ache knowing that there was nothing he could do to change her condition without the phoenix. So much was riding on the success of this mission. He couldn't fail. Bending down, he kissed her brow.
"I love you," he whispered softly. "I'll be back soon. I promise."
Reluctant but knowing he had to leave her, he held Guinevere's face for a moment more, memorizing every glorious feature before pulling away.
"Keep her safe, Gaius," he pled.
"I will do all in my power, Arthur," the physician promised.
"As will I and my people," Iseldir assured.
Hunith then surprised the king by enveloping him in a motherly embrace. "Everything will work out, Arthur," she quietly comforted.
The king's heart swelled in gratitude as he stepped out of the embrace, nodding to her. He then walked over to Iseldir and gratefully clasped the druid chieftain's hand.
"Thank you for everything, Iseldir."
"It is an honor to serve you, sire," he said with a gentle smile and a deferential bow.
Arthur inclined his head respectfully before he turned to Gaius. "I'm leaving Sir Pelleas in charge of the knights should there be any trouble. Until I return, you and Geoffrey will manage the kingdom in my stead. I'll draw up a message with my seal and leave it with Daegal; he'll make sure you get it."
Gaius humbly bowed his head. "We'll look after Camelot, Arthur. Good luck. And while I urge you to listen to Merlin should he ask you to do something, please keep an eye on him for me? He tends to get into more trouble than anyone I've ever met."
Arthur managed a small smile as he nodded. "I'll do my best."
Leaving the room, he quickly passed through the halls towards his room. Upon entering he was surprised to see that Daegal was sitting at the table cutting up an apple with a knife.
The young man's eyes brightened at the sight of the king. "They told me you'd be back soon," he grinned.
"What on earth are you doing, lazing around?" Arthur demanded angrily. "Don't you know–"
Daegal held up a hand, shocking the king into silence. "Before you start a streaming tirade about how I should be busy at work packing your bag and making sure everything is ready for your journey, let me interrupt you. Merlin already did everything. He came in like a whirlwind, his eyes literally a constant gold as your things flew out of the closet and into a pack which he then left with. He told me to tell you not to worry about saddling your horse or anything since he'd take care of it. You know, sometimes I think he doesn't like the fact that he's not your manservant anymore."
Arthur pinched his nose. "Idiot," he muttered affectionately. "I told him to get ready himself! What's the point in having a new manservant if he's constantly trying to do your job?"
Daegal shrugged. "He cares about you. I've heard he tends to forget everything else and focus on your needs when the city is experiencing a crisis. I'm not surprised seeing how close you two are. Anyway, is there anything you want me to do while you're gone?"
"Yes, actually," Arthur muttered, striding across the room and quickly writing out instructions. "Tell Sir Pelleas that he's in charge of the knights in my absence – show him this letter – and give this letter," he held up a second piece of parchment – "to Gaius. He'll know what it is. Also, while I'm gone, I expect you to be the eyes and ears of Camelot. Anything suspicious that you see, anything at all, is to be reported to Gaius at once. Other than that, you are to be at the physician's disposal."
"So I'm basically taking over Merlin's other old job as unofficial assistant to the Court Physician," Daegal surmised.
"Yes, now go on! Those letters need to be delivered."
Daegal took the sealed forms and started for the door. He got halfway before turning back. "Arthur?"
The king looked up. "Yes?"
Daegal sent him an appraising look, his eyes filling with inner faith. "Good luck."
Arthur's gaze softened. "Thank you, Daegal."
The young manservant nodded before leaving the room and after a short pause to make sure Merlin really hadn't forgotten anything, Arthur also left, walking swiftly passed the guards towards the passage that would take him to the South Gate.
Sure enough, Merlin was already waiting for him, holding the bridal of his second favorite horse, Acker. The Knights of the Round had all been assembled, their number having more than doubled with the new additions in the last few weeks. Mordred and Balthazar looked a little nervous, this being their first mission as knights and known sorcerers. Tristan and Isolde seemed to exude an inner confidence while Bedivere and Kay were raring to go on their first mission as Round Table Knights. As Arthur drew closer, he realized that Merlin, while ready, looked furious.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
"Fine," the warlock snapped as he handed Arthur his reins before mounting his own steed.
Arthur raised an eyebrow, catching Gwaine's eye. The knight discreetly flicked his head to the right and that's when Arthur noticed the full head of long red hair seated on a brown mare. Sensing the king's surprise, Adaline spoke up.
"I'm coming with you," she stated, her tone brooking no argument. "I know the Perilous Lands better than anyone present. You'll need a guide."
"I can see the path ahead!" Merlin snapped. "There's no need for you to come!"
"There is every need! You may be a warlock but there are creatures of magic you might run into that could prove challenging. I already know how to communicate with them and that could save you from unnecessary conflict."
"I'm magic incarnate. If there's a need to communicate with magical beings, I'm sure I can figure it out!"
"Instead of being confident and ignorant, perhaps you should rely on someone who already knows how to do such a thing!"
Arthur watched in shocked disbelief as warlock and half-elf practically snarled at each other, anger and frustration uncomfortably permeating the atmosphere. What on earth was going on? Only yesterday Merlin was drooling all over himself over Adaline; now he looked like he was ready to magically toss her from her horse. Were they having a fight? Now wasn't the time for this! Time was of the essence and if Adaline could save them by avoiding conflict with unknown monsters, he'd be a fool to deny her company.
"Enough!" he shouted before the bickering could grow worse. "Adaline has a good point, Merlin. She's familiar with the layout of the land. She should come with us."
Merlin glared angrily at the king before releasing the air from his lungs quickly through his nose. "Fine," he snapped. "Let's go."
And without waiting for Arthur or anyone else, he flicked his reins and forced his horse out of the city at a gallop. Arthur stared after his Court Sorcerer in a combination of anger, shock, and concern. Mounting his horse, he quickly went after Merlin, the others following behind. From the sound, the king discerned that Leon had silently motioned for the others to give the two leaders some space. Good ol' Leon; he always knew when Arthur and Merlin needed to talk.
"Merlin!" Arthur shouted, drawing closer to the warlock.
Merlin slowed down just enough for Arthur to catch up, both pulling on the reins until their horses were walking at a steady but comfortable pace; the knights and Adaline must have slowed their pace too, for none overrode them.
Arthur studied his warlock with silent scrutiny. Merlin's features were drawn down in frustration, his eyes burning figurative holes into the back of his horse's head. His hands gripped the reins so fiercely his knuckles were turning white and, if Arthur's suspicions could be confirmed, his teeth were grinding together.
"Mind telling me what the heck is going on?" Arthur demanded, annoyed.
"No."
Arthur's anger flared and his eyes narrowed. Using a tone that demanded subservience, he put all of his frustration into one word that required his warlock to answer him or else.
"Merlin."
Merlin turned to him and glared. In the intense gaze, Arthur saw past the anger, defiance, and annoyance. Merlin was hurt and he was scared. Concern eroding away frustration, Arthur's countenance softened.
"Merlin," he repeated – this time in a kinder, more inviting tone.
The warlock looked away. "What do you want, prat?" he whispered, the hurt now evident in his voice.
"Tell me what's going on," Arthur gently commanded. "Did she hurt you?"
"No!" Merlin immediately answered, appalled at the very thought. "It's not like that," he added in a quieter tone.
"Then what happened?" Arthur prompted again.
"I told her to stay away from me."
Arthur stared.
"You – WHAT?"
Merlin glared at him and Arthur, apologetic, glanced back at the knights before turning back to him.
"Why?" he whispered.
Merlin shook his head, stubbornly refusing to answer. Arthur felt his frustration rising again. Should he try to exercise patience and wait for Merlin to crack or should he force the answer out of him? Not knowing the exact details was going to drive him crazy – not to mention he wasn't particularly thrilled about traveling through the countryside with an irate warlock. Whatever issues the two were having, Merlin and Adaline needed to work them out because there was no way Arthur was going to deal with their bickering this entire trip. He was already stressed enough with the idea of his wife dying; he didn't need discord among his friends.
"Merlin, are you going to tell me or not?" he demanded, impatience winning the internal war in the end.
The warlock scowled. "Normally I'd tell you to mind your own business but because I know you're only going to keep nagging until I fess up, I'll tell you. Adaline is a distraction I can't afford so I told her there couldn't be anything more between us."
Once again the king found himself staring at his Adviser in disbelief. "You're joking."
Offended, Merlin glared at him. "Not in the slightest."
"Merlin, not to seem indelicate, but it sounds to me as if you're running."
"I am not!"
"Okay, if you're not running then why the need to tell her to leave you alone?"
"Because I can't afford to have a personal life when I have a duty to look after you!" Merlin shouted angrily, his voice more than likely carrying on the wind towards the knights behind them.
Arthur's eyebrows rose and he opened his mouth to angrily retort but Merlin beat him to it. The king had apparently released a dam and the warlock was not going to shut up until everything had been spoken from his mind. His voice lower but still filled with utter frustration and guilt, the Court Sorcerer continued to rant.
"Do you want to know what I was doing when Horvath poisoned you, Arthur? I was off with Adaline, kissing in an alcove. Yes, that's right, clotpole – kissing! While your life and Gwen's were put on the line, I was satisfying my own personal desires. Did you know my magic tried to warn me that you were in danger? I felt the usual discomfort clenching my stomach and there was the fleeting thought that I should find where you were but I ignored it! I chose to stay where I was and look what happened! You nearly died – Gwen's on her deathbed – and it's all my fault! If I hadn't been with Adaline I could have stopped all of this from happening! Don't you see, Arthur? I can't afford to give myself to anyone because there is the distinct possibility that you could die. My Destiny is to protect you and nothing can come before that. Nothing."
Arthur pulled on Acker's reins, halting the horse to a complete stop. Merlin did so almost at the same time, staring at the king intently. Arthur held up a hand, hoping that Leon would see it in the darkness. With a brief glance, he could just make out the knights in the path, their forms seemingly not moving in the dark shadow of the trees. Turning back to his warlock, Arthur took a deep breath through his nose before drawing back his fist and punching Merlin right in the face.
Completely unprepared for the hit Merlin fell out of his saddle onto the ground. Arthur inwardly winced; he hadn't meant to punch that hard but the idiot kind of needed it. He hurriedly dismounted and walked around to where Merlin lay, stunned, upon the ground.
"What the heck was that for?" Merlin demanded, rubbing his rapidly swelling cheek while tears threatened to fall from his eyes.
"Common sense," Arthur replied, trying to remain stoic despite his desire to apologize and ask if Merlin was alright.
"Since when did common sense mean hitting someone?" Merlin angrily retorted.
"You were clearly suffering from the delusion that you had to sacrifice personal happiness in order to keep me alive."
The warlock pushed himself to his feet. "What are you talking about?"
"Merlin," Arthur sighed before bellowing, "YOU – COMPLETE – IDIOT! I REFUSE TO BE THE REASON YOU DENY YOURSELF FROM LOVING SOMEONE!"
"AND I REFUSE TO LISTEN TO WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY, CLOTPOLE!" Merlin bellowed back.
"SO YOU MADE A MISTAKE! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT AGAIN!"
"YOU CAN'T KNOW THAT!"
Arthur took a deep breath, forcing most of his frustration to simmer before he continued in a softer tone, "Merlin, I can't have you plastered to my side every waking moment of the day. I need to be entitled to some privacy or else I'll go mad! I refuse to have you coddle my safety and forget to live your own life. You have to accept that there are going to be times that I'm going to be hurt – that Guinevere is going to be hurt. If you continue on this insane vigil of keeping me within your sights at all times, I will eventually come to hate you because you are forcing me into a cage. I don't want to hate you, Merlin. I don't want to be at odds with you. But I swear that's what will happen if you make it your life's mission to literally become my shadow!"
Immense hurt filtered through the warlock's blue eyes and all the anger drained away. "But it's my destiny," he whispered.
Arthur calmly took both of his shoulders. "Merlin, I'm beyond grateful that you want to keep me safe but I don't believe that's all you're meant to do. That's not what I want you to do."
"What do you want, Arthur?" he asked, his voice displaying the lost desperation coursing through his soul.
The king surveyed him before speaking from his heart. "I want you to accept that you are capable of making mistakes and that that's alright," he answered. "I will never hold them over your head and neither should you. I want you to be happy in all areas of life – including that of love. Don't turn Adaline away. You need to learn to control your emotions but indulge in them. Don't deny yourself. You'll tear yourself apart – believe me, I know. I want you to remain by my side but respect my privacy. And I want you to fulfill your destiny knowing that the road isn't always going to be smooth."
"But I can't afford to allow myself to be distracted," Merlin argued.
"Believe me, distraction is a welcome thing sometimes," Arthur muttered. "If you were constantly doing what was required of you, you'd eventually run yourself into the ground."
"But your safety is my main concern, Arthur. What if what happened tonight happens again? I almost didn't make it in time. You really have no idea how close to death you were. I almost lost you. I never want that to happen again. I can't afford for it to happen again."
Arthur did have an idea of how close to death he'd been; he'd seen himself after all, as strange as that was to comprehend. He'd also seen how devastated Merlin had been, the flare of fear over the possibility that he was too late shining through his tears as he tried to heal the other half of his coin. Arthur never wanted Merlin to have to live with such a belief again. What could be done to reassure the warlock, to allow him to live freely without the burden of uncertainty?
His magic had warned him but he hadn't listened to it because he had been distracted. So perhaps a greater warning besides just his magic was needed? Because Arthur understood how instincts worked. Sometimes he would have them but would choose to ignore them because personal desire to continue forward despite the clear warning was more pleasing in the moment. But when someone else voiced the same concern, hearing their warning tended to cause him to question personal desire. And, taking it a step further, when a loud noise -such as the warning bell- was heard, Arthur reacted immediately, knowing that something was definitely wrong. So maybe Merlin needed something like a warning bell? Something that could jerk him out of whatever situation he was in to answer a distress call without hesitation.
He voiced his thoughts to Merlin and the warlock stared at him in surprise.
"What?"
Merlin shook his head. "Nothing – you just surprise me sometimes."
Arthur scowled. "I'm not an idiot, Merlin."
"I know that," Merlin grinned, "but the disease of being a prat tends to blind you from intelligence."
"Hey!" Arthur complained, going for Merlin's hat only to realize it wasn't on his head. That's when he noticed Merlin's attire. "Why are you wearing your old servant clothes?" he asked with a frown.
Merlin grinned. "Wow, it took you this long to notice?"
"Shut up."
The grin only widened much to Arthur's chagrin.
"If you must know, it's the perfect cover. Who would expect a lowly-looking servant to be the Court Sorcerer? Knowing the likelihood that we'll run into bandits is fairly high, I figured I'd like to take them by surprise."
The king frowned. It was a good plan, he had to admit. "Alright, fine," he conceded. "But if you're dressed like a servant then you have to act like one."
Merlin rolled his eyes. "That shouldn't be too hard, seeing as I have years of practice."
Arthur settled for flicking his ear in response, Merlin scowling and rubbing the offended area.
"Why do you feel the need to do that?" he grumbled. "My ears are delicate!"
"It's not my fault you took away the hat, Merlin."
"It would have been a dead give away!"
"Do you miss it?" Arthur teased.
"Not in the slightest."
"Merlin, you're in denial."
"No I'm not."
"You miss the hat."
"I don't."
"You do."
Arthur grinned and Merlin rolled his eyes. "Dollophead," he grumbled.
The king laughed before taking his warlock's shoulder and applying a subtle amount of pressure. Sobering immediately, he looked Merlin right in the eye. "Promise me you'll clear things up between you and Adaline tonight."
"Tonight?" Merlin glanced over his shoulder nervously. "Can't you give me a few days?"
"No, Merlin. I will not have discord on this journey. You're idiocy hurt her feelings and she needs to understand where you were coming from. Believe me, an angry woman is not the best company – particularly when you're the source of her anger. I learned long ago that when I made a woman mad, I needed to apologize. They have a remarkable capability of holding grudges."
"Something tells me you're speaking of Morgana before she turned evil," Merlin muttered.
Arthur nodded, the familiar sadness over his sister's choices stirring around in his heart. "Trust me when I say, Merlin, if you want to have a good relationship with a woman, learn to swallow your pride and apologize. It'll be worth it in the end."
The warlock let out a wary sigh. "Alright, I'll talk to her tonight – but I'm not doing it in plain view of everyone else!"
Arthur rolled his eyes. "I'm not that insensitive, Merlin. These kind of things should be private. I'll come up with a way to get the two of you alone when we find a place to make camp."
"Do you want to do that now or are you going to drive us another three hours into the forest?"
"Eager to get it over with, are we?" Arthur teased.
Merlin's eyes dropped to his boots. "You know me, Arthur – I hate being at odds with anyone. It hurts too much."
Compassion filled the king and Arthur wrapped his arms around Merlin, holding him tight to his chest. "Then do the right thing and talk to her," he advised. "It'll make the pain go away."
Merlin nodded against his shoulder, letting out a heavy sigh. Arthur patted his back comfortingly before the two stepped away. The king studied his warlock with an appraising eye.
"You ready?" he asked.
Merlin nodded. "Yeah."
Arthur returned to his horse and the two of them mounted, the king silently ordering Merlin to wait while he turned his steed and cantered over to the knights. Despite the shadows of the night none of them had missed the embrace shared; Arthur could tell by the smug grin on Gwaine's face and the kind smile Isolde was sending his way. Praying that his cheeks weren't burning, Arthur addressed Leon, attempting to put off what had just occurred as nothing but normal.
"We're going to find a place to make camp for the night," he told him. "Everyone keep a look out for a suitable clearing."
He then turned his horse around but before he could urge it to start walking again, Gwaine called out behind him.
"Is it safe to close the distance now or do you and Merlin still need some time alone?"
The king rolled his eyes, praying for patience. "One of these days I just might ask Merlin to turn you into a toad, Gwaine," he called over his shoulder as he nudged Acker in the sides, the horse immediately moving forward.
There was a soft round of chuckling as the knights began following after the king, Merlin waiting for them until they were one big group traveling down the dirt path.
It took another ten minutes before Merlin declared that he'd spotted a reasonable space to settle for the night. Several times Arthur had noticed the warlock's eyes occasionally glowing gold and his head moving discreetly back and forth; 'seeing the path ahead' as he'd called it. Upon reaching the clearing, Arthur determined it good and everyone dismounted, preparing to settle for the night. Everyone was tired from the earlier wedding festivities so there wasn't much conversation to be had as bedrolls were pulled out. Arthur did give the order for both Adaline and Merlin to gather firewood, the warlock looking terrified and the half-elf irritated as they both begrudgingly did as asked. Arthur offered to take first watch despite several protests but eventually his glare won out in the end and his knights quickly fell to sleep.
Arthur got a fire going, prodding around the small flame with a stick, his mind far away. He couldn't believe that just a few hours earlier he'd married Guinevere and danced with her in the courtyard. So much had happened and never would he have believed it if someone told him he'd be spending this night alone in the woods instead of in the royal chambers with his new wife. Anger flickered through his heart.
Why did his sister feel the need to ruin everything? Every time Arthur was about to experience happiness, Morgana tried to take it away. She had become so bitter and full of hate. There had been a part of him that hoped she would see past her anger when he changed the laws concerning magic. But Horvath, her newest lackey now that Agravaine was dead, had accused him of using magic for his own selfish gains. Why couldn't these people see that he had no desire to enslave their kind but to embrace and accept them?
Arthur became lost in memories of a time when he and Morgana were friends, where they teased each other, supported one another, and looked out for the other in times when their father had been blinded by anger over their actions. There had been so many times Arthur had looked up to Morgana for speaking up when nobody else would, for challenging any who opposed her. He deeply mourned losing the woman he'd long seen as a sister before learning her true heritage. Knowing that they were related made the pain so much more. This led him to think of Agravaine and his father. Like Morgana they allowed hatred to consume them. How on earth had Arthur been spared from the emotion that had clearly driven his family into madness?
The king smiled unconsciously when the image of a young man challenging him in the market came to mind. Merlin, he silently chuckled. Merlin had changed everything. Because of Merlin, Arthur developed not only a spirit of camaraderie with his knights but a brotherhood. His men were his family. Because of Merlin, he now had Guinevere as his queen.
Guinevere…
Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to keep the tears from falling down his cheek. This was supposed to be the night they consummated their marriage, the night they joined together in love and harmony. But instead he was out here in the forest while she lay on her deathbed. Arthur leaned forward, holding his head in his hands, his fingers tightening around his hair as he tried to suppress his desire to scream in anguish. How he desperately hoped they would find a phoenix willing to come with them. He didn't know if there would be time to go to the Isle of Blessed if they didn't. He had a terrible feeling that if this quest failed then Guinevere would be lost to him forever.
"Please don't let that happen," he whispered past the lump in his throat. "Please…"
The snapping of several twigs was heard and Arthur forced his emotions behind a mask of indifference as he looked up, his hand on Excalibur's hilt. His stance immediately relaxed, however, when he recognized the familiar form of Merlin stepping into the clearing holding hands with Adaline. A smile climbed the king's face and he pretended not to watch as Merlin set down the firewood under his free arm and bid Adaline goodnight with a kiss, moving her hair away from her face. Arthur's eyes widened as Adaline's ear was revealed. The top was not rounded but drawn into a sharp point. No wonder the woman kept her hair in her face; her ears would stick out a mile away in any crowd. Was that an elf thing?
"Merlin," Adaline hissed, moving her hair back in place to hide her ears.
"What?" Merlin smiled. "The only one awake right now is Arthur and he already knows the truth."
Adaline's cheeks darkened. "I know but…"
Arthur decided to throw in his opinion. They already knew he was listening in anyway. "You shouldn't be ashamed of who you are," he counseled.
Adaline stared at him, her green eyes seemingly probing at his soul. "It does not bother you?"
Arthur shook his head. "Not at all," he answered truthfully.
The half-elf glanced around at the others. "What about them? They will look at me differently."
"The people around you have come from many different walks of life," Arthur consoled. "They are not shallow in any sense of the word. They will accept you as I have. Trust me."
Merlin nodded to her encouragingly. Adaline bit her lip before taking a deep breath. "Alright," she whispered, "I will no longer hide from your family, Merlin."
The warlock kissed her forehead. "Get some sleep," he advised.
She smiled at him, inclined her head to the king, and then wandered over to her bedroll which Arthur had instructed to be set up next to Merlin's and his own in their absence. After she was settled, Merlin sat down next to Arthur.
"You should go to sleep, Merlin."
"So should you. Out of everyone, you've had the most stress-filled day. You were poisoned earlier, Arthur. The magic boost I gave you will be running out soon and your body is going to be in need of rest."
"I'll be fine."
"Don't make me force you to sleep."
"If you dare put a sleeping spell on me, Merlin, I'll have Mordred turn you into a stoat."
Merlin snorted. "I'm sure that'll last long. You wouldn't survive a full day without me."
Arthur rolled his eyes. "Go to bed, you idiot."
"Not until you do."
"For the love of – I'm not going to sleep until my watch ends! That's in another hour."
"Fine, then I'm staying up with you."
Arthur glared at him but the determined glint in his warlock's eyes told him it would be pointless to argue further. "You are such a stubborn idiot," he sighed, shaking his head.
"I learned from the best," Merlin teased, poking the king in the arm.
Arthur laughed briefly through his nose, a small smile on his face. A comfortable silence passed between them before the king's thoughts became occupied once more with the precarious situation they'd found themselves in. Merlin, somehow sensing the source of his distress, placed a hand on his shoulder.
"She's going to be fine, Arthur."
Arthur nodded before sighing. "I recognized he wasn't you, you know – when Horvath used his magic against us. Too bad that was what it took for me to realize that I was with an impostor instead of you. His magic was so dark, so full of hatred. I don't understand why he and Morgana believe that I only legalized magic to selfishly use it. I just want your people to be accepted, Merlin. I don't want them to have to live in fear anymore."
"I know that, Arthur," Merlin smiled. "It's going to take time convincing the others though and some might never be convinced. Maxim Horvath has already been tainted by hatred and bitterness. I don't think there was anything you could have said to change his mind."
"Not that he allowed me to say anything," Arthur grumbled.
And then he was telling Merlin everything that had happened, from the moment Horvath led them away to when he watched Merlin heal him in his chambers.
"It was the strangest experience I've ever had," he finished. "I suppose you've never witnessed something outside of your own body, have you?"
Merlin shook his head, still shocked by what Arthur had revealed. "I've never heard of such things but, then again, many unexplained situations occur that not even the theories of magic can decipher. I'm just glad that I was able to bring you back."
Arthur smiled. "I had faith that you would."
"I think I felt it too," Merlin confessed. "Right before I tried to heal you, I felt some rush of encouragement. That must have been from you."
Arthur's smile widened and he clapped the warlock on the back. "Well, I couldn't very well watch as you gave up without trying, now could I?"
Merlin chuckled. "I'm glad you didn't."
"I'm proud of you, Merlin," Arthur said suddenly.
"What?"
"I'm proud of you," the king repeated. "I knew that you had what it takes to put those insufferable lords in their place. I think I might remove them from the council."
"You can't do that!" Merlin argued.
Arthur stared. "I thought you'd be supportive. Merlin, those men obviously don't have any desire to change their ways."
"Arthur, you can't go sacking everyone who has a different opinion than your own. You must be a king who considers every viewpoint no matter if you favor it or not. The lords are stuck up and blinded by hatred but if you cast them out now their hatred will only grow. We don't want to add more enemies to our list."
"Then what should I do about them?"
"Counsel with them," Merlin advised, "Explain your reasoning for giving me more authority than I frankly ever wanted. You need to prove that you trust them with your decisions. If you keep things from them, they'll only resent you. Making things clear is vital in running a healthy kingdom, Arthur. If you want your kingdom to be built on trust, it must start from within."
Arthur weighed Merlin's counsel before lightly chuckling. "Once more I am audience to your rare spouts of wisdom."
"Rare? I tend to have many of those."
"There you go, being conceited again. While I admit you have some wisdom, Merlin, I fear it manifests itself in moments not spades. Even then those tend to be blocked by a consistent wall of idiocy."
"Oh, I don't think so," Merlin playfully argued. "I think it's your own Prat Wall that's doing the blocking."
Arthur lightly shoved him, both laughing quietly in order to not disturb their companions. The lightheartedness eventually faded and Arthur unconsciously leaned his head against Merlin's shoulder, closing his eyes. He suddenly felt bone-tired and it was with great effort that he realized Merlin's strengthening spell must have worn off; his body was weaker from the earlier poison than he'd thought.
"Tell me that everything's going to be okay, Merlin," he muttered sleepily, voicing his inner fear. For some reason he felt the utmost need to be reassured before allowing sleep to claim him.
Merlin put his arm around the king's shoulders and obliged his request. "Everything will be alright, Arthur," he promised with strong conviction. "I know it will. Now get some sleep."
"Don't… tell me… what to do," Arthur softly grumbled, his words involuntarily slurring.
The ghost of a chuckle was the last thing he heard before his body won out the battle of his stubborn spirit and Arthur slipped into the comforts of sleep.