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All the King's Horses – Chapter Twenty
One Wednesday in September, I found my wife sitting across the hall from our son's room, staring at the door. I sat next to her and took her hand in mine, ready to conquer the daunting task that Kate had put on the table at our last session.
"We have to do it," I whispered and kissed her shoulder.
"I can't, Edward. Not yet."
"But Kate said-"
"I don't care what Kate said! I can't." Leah stood up and stomped back into the bedroom.
"Fine. Not yet," I muttered to myself and followed her, ready to apologize. I gave up when I realized she was already in the shower.
"I think it would be a good idea to think about cleaning out Eli's things."
"What do you mean?" Leah's hand was suddenly tight in mine, so tight my knuckles ground together.
"His room. Clothes. Toys. Go through them. Donate and give away what you don't want. Keep what you can't part with."
"But…"
"I understand it's hard. It doesn't have to happen all at once."
Kate kept her word when she said it didn't have to happen all at once. Each week we did a little bit of packing, though it never got any easier. We didn't know what to keep or throw away sometimes. It often got to the point where we just dropped everything where it was and closed the door, eager to find something else to occupy our time.
With a heavy sigh I got dressed and woke Caroline up, made breakfast and got her ready for school. We had a discussion about her behavior over her oatmeal, since she'd come home with a note the day before. Apparently, if it was on yellow or red paper, it wasn't good.
Thankfully, this one was yellow.
"I'm sorry, Daddy. I'll do better today."
"I know you will, Sweet." I kissed her forehead and ushered her off to put her shoes on.
"Can you take Carrie to school?" Leah stormed into the kitchen and grabbed her coffee and lunch off the counter that I'd already gotten ready for her.
"Yeah, of course. Can we-"
"I have a faculty meeting. I'll see you tonight," she said before kissing my cheek quickly and practically running out of the kitchen.
"-talk?" I finished lamely to the empty kitchen.
My daughter frowned up at me. "Who are you talking to, Daddy?"
"Nobody, baby. Let's go." I ushered her outside and to my truck.
I dropped Caroline off at school and then headed to Port Angeles for my own class. After a few failed attempts at getting a hold of Leah I sent her a text telling her to have a good day and that I loved her.
Guilt rushed over me as I passed the cemetery on my way to school. The anniversary of Eli's death had loomed over us for weeks, and now that it was almost here I was completely unprepared. I made a mental note to buy flowers, and to later convince Leah to come out with me. It had been months since I'd visited his grave, but I was doing better these days. I wanted to go, even if it was just to take flowers or just to sit and talk to him.
The parking lot at school was already packed. I had two classes to get through before I could work things out with my wife. I knew that trying over the phone or through a text was pointless. It would only piss her off more if we didn't do it face-to-face.
My first class was fairly uneventful, and after a quick lunch with my study group I was on to my second one. I was finally getting used to being back at school and working it into my schedule at the garage.
Leah and I were working well with the changes. We still saw Kate weekly, though recently we'd been going together to cut down on our time away from Caroline. We'd taken Kate's advice and started doing special weekly projects with our daughter to help her from being angry or upset. That meant trips to the beach or the art store, or even just a movie or dinner somewhere that wasn't at home.
They were on my mind as I tried to concentrate in my second class. Thirty minutes in my phone buzzed in my pocket and I snuck a glance at it. Sami's face flashed across the screen. Bella.
I ignored the call and stuck the phone back in my pocket, only to have it go off again two minutes later. I tried to ignore it again, but the text message she sent me caused worry to bubble up so I quickly excused myself.
Emergency. Please call me.
Bella answered on the first ring, sounding breathless.
"Edward?"
"Bella? What's going on? Is Leah-"
"Edward I need to you to come to the hospital. Please," she practically pleaded. I could hear the pain in her voice and it made my chest ache.
"What's going on?" I tugged a hand through my hair and paced the hall in front of my classroom. "Where's Leah? Is she okay?"
"She's fine. I'm sorry; I don't mean to worry you. It's just-," she cut off with a sob.
"Bella. What's wrong?"
"It's Sue. I don't- I don't know what happened. No one will tell us what's going on and Dad isn't here yet and I can't get a hold of Emmett…" she trailed off, her voice catching again.
"Okay. Okay, I'm on my way. I'll stop by Emmett's office. Can you- can you tell Leah I'll be there soon?"
"I will," she answered before hanging up. I snuck back into class and grabbed my things, planning on emailing my professor to explain things, and drove back to Forks in a daze. Emmett wasn't answering his cell and his secretary said he was out of the office, so I went straight to the hospital hoping to find him already there.
I practically ran into the emergency room and made my way to the front desk.
"I'm looking for Sue Swan, can you tell me where she is?" I panted.
The woman at the desk hardly looked up from her computer. "Are you immediate family?"
"I'm her son-in-law and-"
"Edward!" I heard Bella call my name and I immediately turned, only to have her slam into me. Her arms were tight around my waist and her slim body shook against mine.
"Hey," I whispered and rested my hand on the back of her head, holding her against me. "It's okay."
"I'm sorry." She pulled away and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "Dad's here. He and Leah are with Mom. They're still running tests but she's unconscious."
I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and let her lead me down the hall. As long as they'd been a family, Leah and Bella both had trouble calling their respective parents "Mom" or "Dad". It was nerve-wracking to hear Bella say it now, not knowing what was going on with Sue.
Down the hall I could see Charlie and Leah standing outside a room, talking with a doctor. Charlie shook the doctor's hand before he walked away and then pulled Leah into a hug. Her eyes met mine over Charlie's shoulder and I could practically see her sigh with relief.
"Go." Bella pushed me away from her and I quickly made my way to my wife. Her face crumpled and my throat tightened at the sight. I pulled her against me, my arms wrapped tight around her, all thoughts from this morning completely gone.
"I'm sorry," I said quietly as she sobbed against my chest. "What happened?" I asked Charlie over her head.
"A stroke. She was at the diner by herself just after she opened. Thank God for Mrs. Cope. She'd stopped to get coffee on her way to school and called 911," he explained with a subdued voice. Leah's arms tightened around me.
"Will she be okay?" I asked, risking a glance at Bella and then my wife.
"Still running tests," Charlie answered and ran a hand over his face. "She hasn't woken up yet."
"I need some air." Leah pushed herself away from me and started down the corridor. I followed her quickly until we were both standing outside the emergency room doors. She wrapped her arms around herself and turned away from me, her shoulders shaking again. I slipped my arms around her from behind; I was all too familiar with what I knew she was feeling.
She tried to pry my arms away from her, but I held fast. A sob ripped through her chest as she finally pushed me away.
"I can't do this!" Leah cried and began to walk away again.
"Leah!" I called her name and followed her around the corner until we were out of view from everyone.
"I can't, Edward. I can't be in there. I can't watch her lie there. Please don't make me. Take me home, I just want to go home!" she yelled, fists gripping my shirt, tears streaming down her cheeks the whole time.
"You have to, babe. She needs you and-"
"No!" Her fists hit my chest once, twice, and a third time before I grabbed them in both of my hands and held them tightly. "I can't. You don't understand!"
Her eyes met mine and I could see my own pain reflected in them. Guilt flashed across her face as she realized what she'd said.
Because I did understand.
I'd been here before.
I'd watched my father die here.
We'd been here with our son, not even a year ago.
"I'm sorry," she whispered and rested her head on my chest. "I'm sorry." Her arms wrapped around my neck and she held herself to me.
"Shh. It'll be fine," I tried to soothe her, though my worry was making it hard to. I didn't know what was going to happen. I knew enough about strokes that Sue could be okay, though what her life would be like was a different story.
"What if it isn't?" Leah's breath was warm on my neck.
"Then we'll deal with it," I told her with my lips to her hair. "Where are the kids?"
"Your mom picked them all up." She pulled away and wiped her tears away. "We should go back in."
"Are you sure?" I brushed her hair away from her face and kissed her forehead.
"Yeah. I need to be there with her." She took my hand and we went back inside, finding Emmett and Bella outside Sue's room.
"Is something wrong?" I asked, tightening my hold on Leah.
"She woke up." Bella smiled. "She wanted to see Dad."
Leah laughed quietly and leaned into my side, her body sagging with relief. Charlie emerged a few moments later with a small smile.
"Can we see her?" Emmett asked.
Charlie shook his head. "Not yet. She's still a little out of it. Go get some coffee or lunch. Hug your kids or something."
"Daddy…" Bella reached for her father and he hugged her and kissed her forehead.
"I mean it. Go. We'll be fine. I'll call you in a bit," he said with a wave of his hand. We weren't going to argue with him, but instead of leaving we simply made our way to the hospital cafeteria and found a table by the window where we quietly sipped disgusting coffee.
"Did anyone call Seth?" I asked after a moment.
Leah nodded against my shoulder. "He'll be in tomorrow. I'm going to take the rest of the week off and pick him up at the airport."
We sat for a while making plans about the diner and the kids, wondering who we could call so my mom wouldn't have to handle it all. After about an hour Charlie found us, mustache twitching and hands on his hips.
"I should've known. You four never listen," he muttered and sat down with us. "She's resting now. Go. Home."
We grumbled for a moment before he gave us his "cop glare" and we finally gave in.
"I'll bring you some clothes," Bella told him as we said our goodbyes. We parted ways in the parking lot, Leah drove home while I went to pick up Caroline and fill my mom in on Sue's condition.
"Is my Mema sick?" Caroline asked on our way home.
"She'll be okay, baby." I glanced in the rearview mirror and watched her little eyebrows knit together in worry.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm sure. Papa's taking really good care of her, okay?"
My daughter didn't seem convinced and finding Leah crying in the kitchen didn't help either.
"Mama?" Her little voice wavered and Leah quickly wiped her tears away and pulled our daughter into her arms. "Why are you sad?"
"I'm just worried, that's all," Leah explained as she brushed Caroline's hair from her face and kissed her cheek.
"About Mema?"
"Yeah, but she'll be fine. I promise." Caroline hugged her mother tightly before slipping out of her grasp and down the hall. I pulled Leah up and wiped her tears away with my thumbs. "I need to lie down for a little while."
I nodded. "Yeah. I'll start dinner." She touched my face softly before leaving me alone in the kitchen. I started dinner and played a game of CandyLand with Caroline, before waking Leah up. Charlie called to let us know that Sue was awake and alert. She was even sitting up and talking.
Caroline seemed pleased with the news and went off to make Sue a card after dinner while Leah and I cleaned up the kitchen.
"How do you manage to use every utensil ever when you cook?" Leah muttered and side-eyed me.
"It's a talent." I shrugged. She laughed quietly and dried her hands.
"I'm sorry about this morning," she whispered. I put down the pot I'd been scrubbing and turned to her.
"We don't have to talk about it right now." I frowned down at her.
"No." Leah sighed and rested her hands on my chest. "You're right. Kate's right."
I leaned down and kissed her gently and she leaned into me, searching for comfort. I gave it to her, wrapping her up in my arms and holding her tightly.
"It's just...this week. I wasn't ready for it and now…"
"I know, babe," I sighed. "I thought we could go out there this weekend. Make a day of it."
She pulled back to look at me, blinking hard like she was trying to figure out if I was for real.
"I mean it," I said with a quiet laugh.
"Okay," she replied before kissing me again and going back to the dishes. We worked silently for a few moments before Caroline burst into the kitchen with her drawing and Leah abandoned our cleaning. I found them when I was finished, curled up in our bed with a tattered copy of Charlotte's Web between them. I crawled into bed with them and listened as my wife read one of her favorite stories to our daughter. As Caroline's eyes closed I took the book from Leah and laid it on the nightstand.
"What time is Seth getting in?" I asked as we settled in.
"Three o'clock. I'm going to take Caroline with me, that way you can work. I know you have things to catch up on."
"Oh, yeah. I guess so," I admitted. It was true, but it didn't really matter to me at the moment.
All that really mattered was that my family felt safe…and I was going to do everything in my power to make that happen.