finally here's chapter 21 :D

i was going to post last night, but i got "grounded" for "bad attitude" lol -_-

Shoutouts: check out, TNSN: Terra Nova Social Network by ebi pers (I have never laughed soo hard!)

and maybe check out my first Lucket oneshot, Alone? :)

i should be able to update more next week, it's spring break so I won't have to worry about homework (:

Lucas sighed as he slowly approached the Sixer camp, it's inhabitants how in view. He ran his fingers through his hair, wondering if Mira would be curious to know where he'd been for the past day and a half, when he was supposed to be there. He hoped she wouldn't. he was in no mood to have to explain himself.

The first day, he had wandered the jungle for hours after he had calmed down and stopped kicking the grave stones. He spent that night in the same shelter he had brought Emma to after her run in with the Slasher. He wasn't sure why he went there, it only made him think about her more. The next morning, Lucas sat at Snakehead Falls, staring at his work on the rocks. The equations, the diagrams, they meant nothing now. All he could see was the confusing writing, but it made no sense. He wanted it all to simply disappear. But it didn't. it stayed, taunted him, the same way it did for his father.

When he sat there, he didn't even care that his father could show up at any moment. He didn't even have his sonic to protect himself. In fact, he almost hoped that his father would catch him, arrest him, and take him to Terra Nova. Or better yet, just shoot him. End it already. He was so sick of feeling like a failure all the time. And he couldn't for the life of him, get Emma's face out of his mind. Her expression when she had stared up at him in fear, haunted him. He was sure he was really going crazy.

Lucas silently headed for his tree house, a dazed expression on his face. As he strode through the camp, he did his best to ignore the curious stares and anxious whispers. He was very much aware that he looked more deranged than usual. But he couldn't find the energy to glare at the tribal people around him, even as their painted face bore into his back.

He stopped at the base of a large tree, grasping the rope that hung in front of him and placing one foot in a small loop at the bottom of it. Lucas gave it a swift tug and was promptly hauled up to a wide balcony.

After giving the Sixer that had pulled him up a quick nod, he carefully walked across the long, shaky bridge that led to a single treehouse. As he stood just outside the door, his breathing was shallow. He debated about entering or not. He was desperate to sleep in his own bed once again, but not wanting to see more of his damned equations that were the reason behind his sister hating him.

Just go in, he told himself, it's just a room. Ignore the equations. You're just going to get some sleep.

After a while, he groaned in defeat, knowing he couldn't stand out there forever, staring at his hut. He pushed the dirty curtain that served as a door, aside, stepping into the dimly lit room. He walked farther in, placing his bag on the edge of his cot before sitting down beside it.

He dropped his head into his hands, massaging his temples as his head continued to throb.

"What am I doing?" he muttered.

He slid his hands over his face as he looked up, stopping at his cheeks. His eyes became fixated on the large, glass bottle on the small table in the far corner of the room. It was dusty, hadn't been touched in a while.

Lucas stood slowly, walking to the table and hesitantly reaching out to pick up the bottle. He turned it in his hands, watching as the liquid splashed against the edges. He hadn't drank any of it since Emma had arrived, wanting his mind to be as clear as possible. Not that it worked apparently.

His eyes were still glazed over as he messily poured the drink into a cup, downing it in seconds. It burned his throat, and he coughed as he placed his cup next to the open bottle. For a few short seconds, the pain inside him seemed to vanish. When it came back he poured himself some more. Before he even realized it, more then half the bottle was empty. But the pain was dulled, and that was all he cared about.

He stumbled to his desk, alcohol spilling out of his cup and onto the floor and some scattered papers. He looked down at the ruined equations, shrugging quickly before continuing on. He slammed the cup down on the edge of the desk, trying to regain his balance. More of the drink spilled onto his most recent calculations, soaking them the thoroughly.

"Woops…" he mumbled, dabbing at the papers with the edge of his shirt, not seeming to grasp the fact that they were ruined; there was no saving them.

His eyes widened when he finally realized what he had done, and which papers he had just destroyed. These equations, he had been working on them for months, they were the last ones. He had been so close to finishing, and in seconds had knocked himself back at least a month or two.

"Damn it," he growled, throwing the soggy papers onto the floor angrily. He glared down at them. "I was so close to going back. So close to getting out of this hell hole!"

He wasn't even sure his words were true. Did he really want to go back? Why would he want to go back to a dying word anyways? Maybe Emma had actually made some sense there. The thought though, of possibly changing his mind, frustrated him. He kicked the papers, sent them flying around the room as if they were confetti. As he watched them float to the ground, he couldn't help but feel a sort of satisfaction in seeing the calculations on the papers become as meaningless as the ones on the rocks. Caught in the rush, the anger overwhelming him, he swung his foot out, kicking a small table covered in his math and science tools, and sending it flying. Lucas kicked at the items on the floor around him, some of them falling through gaps and down to the forest floor. Someone shouted from far below him. He ignored it, his attention averting the calculations surrounding him. He reached up, grabbing a handful of them and ripped the papers from the walls.

You have to stop this. It's crazy. Lucas was snapped out of his rage when his sister's words found their way back to him. Just stay the hell away from me. You are just like them.

"Shut up!" he found himself shouting, kicking the side of his cot. "I want to stop!"

"Lucas!"

He whipped around, stumbling back. Mira stood in his doorway, Carter behind her. She stared at him incredulously, then at his room that looked as if a tornado had hit it. Lucas glared at the Sixers with crazed eyes.

"What the hell, Lucas? What are you doing?" she snapped, head cocked to the side.

He looked at her, then around at the room he had just trashed, then shook his head. Mira arched her eyebrows in annoyance. Carter remained silent in the background. They watched as Lucas silently began to pick up the scattered papers and items around his room, shoving them onto the table he had kicked after he put it back where it belonged.

"Lucas," she said again, irritated by the silence. "What's going on?"

He glared down at the sodden papers, up at Mira, then back at what should've been the last of the calculations.

"Did something go wrong…with the portal calculations?" she questioned nervously, feeling panicked.

"She hates me," he half-laughed.

"Who are you talking about?"

"Emma. My sister," he said slowly. "She hates me."

"Why would she hate you?" She had no idea how to respond to what he was saying. She knew asking why was a stupid question, of course they all knew why. But she had nothing else to say.

"This."

He waved his arms around, gesturing to the papers that covered the walls and ceiling around him.

"She wanted me to stop. We got in an argument and now she hates me," he slurred.

"Wait, when did you see your sister?"

"Yesterday…she wanted to talk, so we talked. And it didn't turn out well"-He frowned-"She might have a point though…" he muttered, mostly to himself.

"What do you mean?"

Lucas grabbed his cup, slowly drinking the rest of it's contents. He was going to need a lot of guts to say what he was about to.

"I don't want to do it anymore," he told her, quietly.

She stared at him in shock. He couldn't be serious. He couldn't just, decide to give up. Not after she had spent three God damn years in this jungle. Not when her daughter was still waiting for her in the future.

"What?"

"I'm done," he said, loudly this time.

Mira gaped at him. "You can't just…be 'done,' Lucas," she said slowly.

"And why not?" he asked, walking to the table to pour himself more. He watched her, his green eyes darkening.

"How do you expect us to get back to 2150 if you just stop working on the fracture's calculations?"

Lucas shrugged. "Not my problem. I'm not doing it."

Mira was fuming. "You expect us to just live in the jungle for the rest of our lives? We're barely surviving as it is!"

He shrugged again, pouring more of the drink into his cup, frowning when he realized the bottle was now empty. "I'm doing fine."

"Your sister doesn't hate you because of your work, she hates you because you're a selfish bastard. You really don't give a shit about anyone, do you?" she snapped, fed up with his condescending attitude.

His head snapped up, remembering Emma's similar words. You don't give a shit who gets hurt, as long as you accomplish this ridiculous plan of revenge. You are doing the same thing they did. You are just like them.

"Shut up," he growled. "You don't know anything about me, or my fam- sister. I'm not continuing with these damned calculations anymore, and that's that."

"What about my daughter?" Mira murmured, not intending for anyone else to hear.

"I don't really care about your daughter. I am not opening the portal," Lucas snapped at her.

He tossed the empty cup into a corner of the room then walked forward towards the door. When he tried to exit, Mira quickly put her hand up against his chest, then shoving him backwards. Being unstable already, he toppled over.

"What the hell was that?" he yelled, quickly getting to his feet.

Mira said nothing as she glowered at him.

"Let me through," he ordered, trying to exit, only to be pushed back once again.

"Mira," he chuckled darkly, "I think you've forgotten. You work for me. Now get the fuck out of my way."

"No."

"No?" Lucas arched his eyebrows. Since when the hell did she stand up to him?

Carter stood awkwardly behind Mira still, unsure which side to take in all of this. Sure he'd like to be paid by their employers…but he had also grown to like this place. Maybe he didn't want the fracture opened either. He couldn't decide which was worse, angering Lucas or defying Mira.

"You heard me. No." Mira folded her arms over her chest, showing no signs of backing down. She wasn't afraid of him, she never had been. The only reason she went along with his crazy personality, was because she had no intentions of screwing up her chances of seeing Sienna again. But now, for the first time, standing up to him and showing him that he didn't have the upper hand for once, would work to her advantage.

"Mira, I don't care about you or your Sixers. I care about Emma. I am not letting the Phoenix Group come here and strip mine this place and kill all of those innocent people!"

"Since when was there talk about killing them? The resources this place has, will go back to 2150 to the people that actually need it. What the hell has gotten into you? You didn't even give a rat's ass about Terra Nova four months ago! You couldn't wait to see your father's paradise fall apart. And now what? You're going to drop everything because you're afraid your teenage sister might hate you?"

"What, you think the Phoenix Group is just going to leave all of those colonists alone? If they do let them live, the colony will be under their control. And what makes you think they'll keep their promises once they have Terra Nova? Maybe…maybe Emma, has just gotten me to realize the reality of this," Lucas said as calmly as possible.

Mira shook her head, her brow was furrowed deeply.

"I have to believe they're telling the truth and that they will stick to our arrangements. It's the only way I'll be able to see my daughter again, and that is all that I care about."

"Well good luck finding someone to help you, because like I said, I'm done."

"I beg to differ."

Lucas's brow furrowed at the dangerous glint in Mira's eyes. He suddenly couldn't help but feel anxious.

"You see, if you don't continue with the calculations to make the fracture go both ways," she said slowly, "I think, dear Emma will have to pay the price for your decision."

His eyes widened. "You wouldn't…" His voice was low, menacing.

"Oh, but I would. Skye isn't our only spy in Terra Nova, but you know that . Our other one though, works for us more willingly than Skye, she wants to help us. And she would do anything that I asked her to do."

Lucas continued to stare at her, unable to hide the panic and anger that was quickly becoming evident on his face.

"She's just a kid…"

"So is Sienna. And I would do anything to protect her, as you would do anything to protect your sister, right?"

Lucas nodded, his whole body felt numb. He never had imagined that Emma would be used against him. Or that Mira would be the one doing it. He had thought his father would've tried something, that he would've seen coming. Mira had never been a threat to him before.

"Well then I suggest you get working. Don't even doubt for a second, if you try anything, I will not hesitate to kill her," Mira warned. "Do you understand?"

Lucas nodded again.

"Fine. But if you so much as lay a finger on her, I will not hesitate to kill you," he sneered bravely.

"Don't worry, stay focused and I'm sure Emma will have nothing to fear."

She smirked at him, knowing she finally had the upper hand, then walked out the door.

Lucas stared after her, frustration building up inside of him. He turned to walk to his desk, glanced down at the mess of papers before swiping his hand across the surface, throwing everything to the floor. He leaned against the cleared desk minutely, trying to catch his breath before slumping into his chair.

"I'm so sorry, Em."

R&R pweaseee :D