– Good morning.
– 'Morning.
– How do you feel, this morning, Agent McGee ?
– Like a bear after hibernating...? he weakly smiled.
The woman briefly chuckled as she checked his pulse, Tim taking a look at that same ugly room.
– Did I...sleep the whole time ?
– No, Agent McGee, your friends had been visiting you quite regularly, but they never stayed long, you were basically not really able to keep yourself awake, that's probably why you have vague memories about these visits.
- If none at all...
- Well, it had to be expected. It's been a long journey for you, Agent McGee.
– I guess so...
Tim momentarily stared a the ceiling, sadly aware of the emptiness it was inspiring him, then at the small window in the corner.
Freedom...he hoped he'd soon deserve it again.
– I can come with you if you want to breathe some fresh air outside, or you can even wait for someone from your team to go for a walk with you. I'm sure they'll be happy to help.
– No, Tim quite reflexively answered. It is fine going with you. They must be pretty busy anyway.
– Alright, then, she smiled. Let's get you some breakfast, first, and I'll come back later.
Tim nodded and silently let the woman leave the room, watching the light coming from outside, wondering if the temperature would be nice...he always loved mornings, especially at this time of the year.
– Knock, knock...a hand finally showed up after some time, revealing Tony's body near the door.
– Hi, Tony, Tim lowly greeted him, although Tony didn't know if it was due to his physical state, or if he was not really happy about the visit.
– Do I bother you ? Best moment to pay you a visit before work.
– Not really, but I'll soon be walking a bit...the words escaped from his mouth, I mean, after I finish eating my breakfast.
Tim couldn't help but reveal a strange face, staring at the small compote on his tray, something apparently far from looking delicious.
– Standing on your feet again ? Nice, McGee. Can I do anything for you ? You need a ride on the grass, maybe ? he tried showing a smile.
Tim's face briefly turned paler, although he didn't really realize it himself, and he tried not to look too weird, while speaking.
– Actually, that's...that's pretty nice of you, Tony, but I...I need to be accompanied by a nurse, for now. Maybe some other time ?
Tony nodded and didn't try overthinking his teammate's answer, only briefly staring at his watch, wondering if he could stay some more.
– Well, he begun smiling again, looks like I still have some ti...
– I think I would like to stay alone, if you don't mind, Tim unexpectedly interrupted him. I'm sorry, he tried to justify, but I'm...I'm pretty tired, actually.
Tony froze for a second, before taking a deep look at him.
Well, if there was something wrong with him, he was not showing it at all...and truth was that he did look quite exhausted.
Yes, he thought, it had definitely been a long week.
– Okay, then. Well...I guess I'm gonna go to work, now. If I don't want to be killed by Gibbs, if you know what I mean, he tried teasing him a bit.
– Thank you for coming, Tony.
– My pleasure, probie. Anytime.
...Tony slowly went out of the room, taking a last look at the other agent on the bed, wondering how long would McGee need to get over it...
Hopefully, he would be stronger than them all, but he needed some time. The last few weeks had been completely crazy for him, and well...you were not waking up one day, fresh and clean, especially after a heart attack...
He was about to leave the corridor when the nurse they had all been used to see taking care of Tim suddenly approached that same space he had just left.
– Ah, hello, Agent Dinozzo...am I right with the name ? she hesitated and smiled.
– Perfectly, he smiled back at her.
– Have you just been visiting your friend ?
– I did, Tony gently spoke. Actually, he just told me that he was about to walk for a little while, I am happy that...
– So you convinced him to go out with you ? she happily revealed her teeth, ready to give to Tony the blanket she had kept between her hands. This is great that he can count on good people to help him go through that.
Tony suddenly froze for a second or two, although the nurse didn't seem to notice anything, before finally slowly pushing the fabric away, inviting the woman to keep it.
– Actually, I...ah, that's too bad, he briefly chuckled, but my boss just called me and I'm already late, so...but thank you. I'll...he begun pointing a thumb in the exit's direction, I'll come back as soon as I can, alright ? Please do take care of him.
– This is something that I can do, Agent Dinozzo, she smiled, watching him strangely leave...
– – – – – – – –
– Here you go, Agent McGee...the woman nicely said, softly putting a palm onto his chest, slowly walking next to him.
– You can call me Tim, he sincerely smiled, trying to get rid of that visible weakness all over his face and body, his eyes nicely blinded by the rising sun in the park area.
– Alright, Tim, she smiled back at him, do you want to keep walking or would you like to sit down and have a little break ?
– Well, I'm not proud to say it, but I guess I wouldn't mind following your second option, at least, for the moment...he grinned. Would you mind giving me a minute, Mrs...
Tim stopped and bitterly realized that he didn't know her name.
– I'm...I' very sorry, I...
– You can even have two if you want, Tim, I will not be far anyway. And you can call me Liza. Do not worry too much about my name, you've been pretty busy trying to survive to remember it, she sounded a little amused, leaving Tim, in the end, with his thoughts on a bench.
He slowly stared at the blue sky and at the walls all around him... The hospital had some great natural space for all the patients in here, but the simple sight of these walls over there was making him feel nervous. Or sad. Yes, 'sad' was definitely the good word.
He sighed and take a new look at the limited landscape...
He knew he would be there, at least, for the next few days, and if everything was alright, he would leave that large and still so small building, in order to go home... But what would be waiting for him, there ? Would he truly appreciate spending hours alone, to finally go back to work after some time, only working on desk duty, feeling frustrated by his days as he would face the pity in their eyes...? He would even need time to regain physical strength, if not psychological one...
So what was left of him exactly, then ? Would he be ready anyway to keep working when life seemed to be so dangerous for him ? He had been facing these things for so long, and now death had been so close...people were not lying, saying that almost reaching darkness was completely changing a man...
He rubbed his face with despair, forgetting for a minute everything around him, not knowing either what time it could be.
– Agent McGee ? Liza's voice interrupted his thoughts. I mean...Tim, are you ready to go ? It seems enough for today, we shouldn't be pushing you too hard at once...
...When Tim sat on his bed again, exhausted by the small effort he had just been doing earlier, the nurse leaving after checking his pulse and reflexes again, he finally grabbed the piece of paper he had asked to be left on the cupboard, grabbing, as well, a pen between fingers...
They didn't need to see it now. But how ironic it was...surviving to a heart attack, to end up like this.
He begun writing and silently read his own words, taking a last look at the small window...
'I'm sorry'.