Disclaimer: Victorious and all of its associated copyrights are not my property and I stake no claim to them.

A/N: So this one is a lot longer than I'd planned, but I don't think it'd be as interesting if I'd cut anything out. I hope it's not too much to read.

When I woke up, sunlight was barely peeking through the curtains. I sat up in bed and put my head in my hands. I felt calm and rather refreshed, at least until I opened my eyes a bit and looked at my left arm, the slight bruising reminding me of what I'd tried so hard to keep my mind off of. Before I even realized how my mind was reeling, my breathing became labored and I felt a sinking feeling in my gut. Somehow, I knew if I didn't get some help soon I'd be in trouble.

What a fucking fantastic way to start a morning.

I struggled to get out of bed and opened the door. I was shaking and crying uncontrollably, so much so that I barely heard the voices around me. I had no idea how many there were. I leaned back into the wall and slid to the ground. Someone knelt down in front of me, a large hand on my forearm. He was speaking to me, but I couldn't understand him. I felt lightheaded, I had no idea how long I sat there completely losing my shit until the man in front of me stood up and I immediately recognized Jade taking his place.

She put her hand on my cheek, "Hey, hey, hey, look at me. I'm here, baby, it's okay."

I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her neck. She shifted around a bit and suddenly picked me up. She carried me to another room and kicked the door shut. She let me stand on my own, and I just sat down on the floor. She opened and closed a cupboard, then turned on the water. Jade knelt down in front of me again and held out another white pill and a glass of water.

"Take this, it'll make you feel better."

I tried to control my breathing enough to take the pill, finally able to get it down without choking. She took the glass back and dumped it out in the sink, then sat down next to me against the counter. I moved as close to her as I could, and in response, she held me tight. I cried into her shoulder for, I don't even know how long, but she never walked away. Jade stayed with me even after I'd calmed down.

"How am I going to get my stuff from the apartment?" I asked quietly.

She hummed and ran her fingers through my hair again, "Well, we'll walk in, we'll take it, and we'll walk back out."

"We?" I looked up at her.

Jade looked back at me, "I told you I wouldn't let him hurt you again, and I meant it."

"I don't want him to hurt you, either."

She smiled and stood up, offering her hand to me. I took it and she helped me stand up. She made no move to back up, even though we were almost touching.

"As long as I have you, I'll be okay."

I looked up at her. She looked calm, her eyes told me that what she was saying was genuine. I slid my arms around her back and hugged her, she reciprocated immediately. I just stood there and hugged her, and it made me feel so much better.

"What happened to me?" I tried to ask calmly, but it came out as more of a sob.

She held me a bit tighter and rubbed my back, her voice calmer than mine was, "Panic attack. Just part of the withdrawal. It'll get better."

"Promise?" I wasn't sure why I asked, I knew the withdrawal didn't last forever.

"Have I ever lied to you?" Was her simple response.

I pulled back slightly to look at her, "Yeah, there was that one time when you swore Jackson would win and he didn't."

Jade frowned, seeming more upset about the fact she was wrong rather than the fact that she had 'lied', "I didn't expect him to be so atrocious that night."

"I love you, Jade. So much. I'm sorry...for everything..."

"Do you remember what I told you years ago? After those few weeks that you were so obsessively flirting with everything that breathed?"

Flashback

I smiled at the guy in front of me as his bus pulled up to the curb.

"Nice talking to you, Tori. See you around, I hope."

"Yeah," I responded, waving at him.

I turned around to see Jade leaning against the side of the building, her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. She looked none too happy. I immediately felt guilty and walked towards her like a scolded puppy. She just raised her eyebrows as I approached, as if asking for an explanation.

"We were just talking..." was all I could think of.

She looked unimpressed, "Uhuh, just talking, to the, what, 25th person in three weeks? You know if you aren't happy with me, no one's forcing you to stay."

"No, Jade, I am, I swear. I'm sorry, I just wanted to have a bit of fun," I stepped towards her, but she sidestepped away from me.

"Look, I'm not going to force you to lean either way. You think about it and let me know if you want to have 'fun' with all these people or if you want to be faithful to me. It's your choice."

"I'm sorry, Jade," I whispered.

"Sorry doesn't mean anything unless what you're sorry about changes."

I stayed quiet. She stepped forward and kissed my forehead, whispering one more thing before walking off toward the parking lot, "I love you."

End of Flashback

"Sorry doesn't mean anything unless what you're sorry about changes," I replied.

She just nodded.

"What do you want to change?"

Jade moved her hand up to my face, tucking a few strands of hair behind my ear, "Only as much as you want to. I told you I'd never force you into anything."

"I want you, I want to be with you," I blurted out before I could stop myself. I quickly tried to clarify, "I mean...I want to be yours. I don't want to waste anymore time."

She smiled, "I haven't even taken you on a date yet."

I shrugged, "I wouldn't have anything to wear even if you did."

"Which reminds me, you want to go get your stuff today?"

I sighed and thought about it for a moment, "I guess so..."

"Come on, we can eat lunch and then we'll head over."

I stopped, "Lunch?"

She had an amused smirk on her face, "It's noon, babe."

"When did we go to bed?" I asked, then I remembered something else, "Wait, did you come into my room last night?"

She made no attempt to deny it, but also didn't seem too interested in elaborating, "Yeah."

I didn't ask any more questions about it, instead asking something else, "What's for lunch?"

"Your favorite, actually." I didn't say anything, instead waiting to see if she actually said my favorite lunch food. "Cheese toasties and little smokies, there's also tomato soup but it's not the classic kind, per sé, little bit healthier."

I smiled, "I don't give a shit. It's been way too long since I've had good food, I'm hungry."

She opened the bathroom door, "I think you'll be happy to know that you'll never go hungry here."

I followed her downstairs, managing to go down the steps without help. "Hey, do you mind if other people go with us to your apartment?"

I shrugged, "I suppose not. Why?"

"How much stuff do you have to get?"

"I'm not sure. All of my clothes, makeup, books..."

We walked into the kitchen and saw that Andre had already laid out a plate of food for me, as well as a bowl of soup. My stomach growled loudly, and I immediately sat down and began eating. I hadn't even noticed Jade left and Beck had entered until I was on my second sandwich.

"Where'd Jade go?" I asked them, as they seemed to be arguing over a piece of cardboard.

Beck glanced up for a moment, "She's on the phone, I think."

They went right back to talking, and I picked out that they were talking about what Jade had eaten, and were writing it down. I finished the rest of my food and put the dishes in the sink. Just as I walked out into the living room and sat down on the couch next to Cat, Cujo started barking when there was a knock on the door.

"I guess the beefcakes are here," she quipped.

I looked back towards the door as Beck opened it up. Five guys, including Marco and Jake, walked inside. One glance at the men made it clear as to why Cat referred to them as 'beefcakes.' Only a moment later, Jade came up the stairs, followed closely by Randy.

Jade chuckled, "Didn't expect you guys to get here so soon."

One of the guys jerked his thumb backward, "We were just down at the gym, not a long drive."

"Right, um," Jade glanced at me and then pointed to the guys one-by-one, "Alright, Tori, this is Ryan, Andrew, and Tyler. Guys, this is Tori. Now, is everyone ready to go?"

Ryan, a tall guy with very light, almost white, short blonde hair clapped his hands once, "Hell yeah. I'm ready to kick some ass."

"We're just moving furniture, man," Tyler, a shorter but more muscular guy, replied as he slapped Ryan's back.

Beck walked into the room and put his hand on Jade's shoulder, "We've still got a bit of work to do tonight, but we can finish it in about an hour. Remember, tomorrow we've got that meeting with Mr. Holsten."

The name sounded eerily familiar to me, and I couldn't help but ask, "Holsten? James Holsten? The lawyer?"

Most eyes were on me at that point, and Randy asked, "You know him?"

I just laughed and nodded, "Know him? He worked his ass off for over 8 months trying to bust Steven, but couldn't due to a mishandling of evidence."

"So he knows you," Jade stated.

I shrugged, "He wanted me to be a witness in the first trial, but I couldn't do it. But have you told him exactly who he's working with?"

"No, we explained the basic situation and what we needed from him. I don't think he knows names quite yet," Randy explained, still seeming curious.

"I'll tell you this, then, once you tell him who he's working against, he will do everything he possibly can to put Steven in jail for the rest of his life." I stopped and thought about it, realizing my own fate as well, "And most likely me, too."

Andrew held up one hand, "I doubt you'll get more than a few years and a couple thousand dollar fine for simple possession and/or use."

I nodded and stood up, "Maybe, if that were the only thing I was guilty of."

"Alright, let's get moving," Jade announced, walking toward the door leading to the garage, "Marco, Ryan, just follow me. I'll drive nice and slow for you."

"Hey, my truck can be pretty fast!" Ryan tried to argue, but Jade was already out in the garage.

Cat stood up as well and gave me a 'you first' gesture toward the garage. I headed that way, but asked her, "You're coming too?"

"Well duh, someone's gotta help with clothes and all that," she replied with a smile.

Out in the garage, I saw the Lamborghini Jade usually drove was empty, and she was sitting in the larger black car next to it with the passenger door already open. Jade glanced over as we approached, "Just flip the seat forward."

I did as she said and Cat slid into the backseat, and I sat down in the passenger seat. "What kind of car is this?" I asked as she seemed to be messing with her phone.

Music started playing and she put the phone into a holder attached to the windshield, "Saleen Mustang, 2015 model."

"Wait I've got a question of my own," Cat piped up as Jade shifted the car into reverse and backed out of the driveway, "What song is this?"

"It's called Change by Churchill," Jade told her.

I glanced behind us and saw two pickup trucks following, one black and one red. We were silent for the next 10 minutes or so, until Cat whined, "I hate this song, can we listen to a new one?"

Jade huffed and removed the phone from the holder and handed it to me, "Find a new song, please."

I unlocked the phone and looked through the music for a while until I found a song I knew Cat liked. She squealed loudly in excitement and began to sing along to the song. Just as I was handing the phone back to Jade, it vibrated with a text notification from 'Mallory.' I just ignored it and put the phone back in the holder. As soon as we entered my old neighborhood, I felt apprehensive. I got more and more nervous the closer we got to my apartment building.

Jade pulled into the parking lot of the building and turned off her car, the pickups following us parking on either side of her. "Ready?" She asked me.

"Ready as I'll ever be," I sighed.

We got out of the car and saw that all of the other guys, including Randy, were gathered around the bed of the black truck. They picked up, what seemed to be, collapsed cardboard boxes. Jade stood next to me and took my hand, tilting her head toward the building. I took a deep breath and walked to the side door I always used. The stairs were just inside the door, so we went up the four flights up to my floor and walked down the hall. I stopped in front of the door and realized the mistake, "I don't have a key."

Cat brushed past me with her keys in hand and unlocked the door, a grin on her face, "You gave me a key, remember?"

I shrugged, "I forgot."

Jade guided me back a bit further away from the door as the two biggest guys, being Marco and Andrew, opened up the door and went inside. Jade and Cat stood out in the hall with me as the six guys surveyed the apartment, finally giving us the all clear. I went inside and looked around. It seemed normal, as if Steven were only out for an errand or something. I sighed thought for a moment about where to start.

"Any books you find are going to be mine, same with makeup and most of the movies. Most everything else belongs to him," I told them.

"Where do you keep the books?" Tyler asked, beginning to set up one of the boxes.

I pointed down the short hallway, "In the room on the right is the 'office', most of the books and things like that will be in there."

Jade picked up one of the boxes as well, "If you and Cat want to go sort through your clothes, I'll get the makeup and all that."

Cat went down the hallway to the bedroom, and I followed closely behind. I wanted to spend the least amount of time possible in that apartment, so I went right to work quickly digging out all of my stuff from the closet and dresser, tossing it all on the bed. Cat was meticulously folding and packing away every piece of clothing, separating the different types into different boxes.

It took us about 10 minutes to pack away all of the clothes, as Cat wrote what was in each box on the side and set them in the hallway once they were filled. Once that was done, we dug through the nightstand and under the bed to find anything else. She pulled out a box and looked at me, "I'm guessing this is your pick-me-up box?"

I glanced over and saw she was holding the 'personal use' box of various drugs we kept under the bed. "Yeah, I think it's best if we just leave that."

She nodded and moved to put the lid back on, but stopped and pulled out a small bag, "What the fuck?"

I walked over and my heart sank into my stomach when I saw it. On the side of the baggie was written in Steven's handwriting 'FOR TORI' and the contents consisted of a light blue powder. I immediately grabbed the bag out of her hand, shoved it in the box, put the lid back on, and pushed it under the bed. Cat seemed startled, but I couldn't even find the words to explain my actions. I just weakly told her, "That should be the last of the stuff from this room."

Cat nodded and folded up the last box and left the room. My heart was racing as I walked over to my side of the bed and opened the drawer of the nightstand. I looked back to the door one last time to make sure nobody was watching, and reached inside. I pulled the little bag off of the top of the drawer where it was taped and put it in my pocket, closing the drawer and joining them back out in the living area.

"So is that everything?" Jade asked me, wrapping her arm around my shoulders.

"I think so," I responded in the calmest voice I could manage.

She seemed to pick up on the fact that I was a bit rattled and quickly told the guys to take the boxes down to the trucks. "Are you okay?" She whispered to me as they left the apartment.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I looked towards the kitchen, "Oh, there's one last thing."

I walked over and opened one cupboard and pulled out my favorite mug, a plain white mug with a mustache on the rim. Both Cat and Jade seemed amused by this. We left the apartment and went back down to the parking lot, where the guys had already loaded all of the boxes into the trucks and were just talking. Once they saw us they hopped into the trucks, and Jade, Cat, and I got into the Mustang. Jade started up the music again and began the drive back to her house.

I was satisfied that we'd gotten in and out without any problems, and was glad I at least had my stuff again. Back at the house, they made short work of carrying all of the boxes up to the guest room I was staying in. After they'd done that, everyone but Cat and I went down to the basement, I assume to do the training Beck was talking about.

"You want to start putting stuff away?" Cat asked me just after taking the mug from me and putting it in one of the cupboards in the kitchen.

I shrugged, "I think a lot of it needs to be washed first, since most everything smells like weed."

"Well, we'll get it washed then. Come on," she said. I followed her down the hallway, where just before we got to the stairs, she opened a door to a laundry room and grabbed a few clothes baskets. We went upstairs and started removing the clothes from the boxes and putting them in the baskets to be washed. After we'd finished, there were about three or four loads that had to be done to get through it all. I helped carry the baskets downstairs, then as Cat was starting the first load, I sat out in the living room.

She joined me a moment later and we relaxed watching some TV for an hour or so until everyone came back upstairs. Andre and Beck went right over to the kitchen to start making dinner, while the others, minus Jade, went upstairs. She was breathing heavily and looked a bit sweaty, but stopped to talk to us, "I think most of us are going to shower while Andre gets dinner ready. So if you guys want to just hang around a bit longer dinner will be ready in about 45 minutes."

We both nodded and she went upstairs as well, and we both laughed a bit as Cujo followed right behind her.

"That dog is like her shadow," Cat commented.

"Yep," I agreed, looking through the TV guide to find something interesting to watch. I found a show that was just starting called Over My Dead Body, and being the morbid person I was, I decided to check it out. Cat seemed disgusted at first, but once the host explained the show, she seemed interested. Apparently, it was about abused people, women in particular, who are forced into a 'kill or be killed' situation.

That particular episode seemed to be about a single mother who was being abused by her boyfriend, up until they'd broken up and he began stalking her. At the final confrontation, he attacked her and she talked about how she knew if she didn't kill him, he'd kill her and her baby. I found the episode to be way too relatable for my tastes, however Cat seemed to enjoy it. Throughout the episode, a few of the guys had come downstairs and went to the kitchen. At the end, I turned off the TV and went to the kitchen.

The sliding glass door out to the patio was open slightly, and Andre was working out on the grill. Ryan grabbed two more beers out of the fridge and popped both open, handing them to us. He held up his in a toast and grinned at us. He had a very friendly smile, to be sure.

Andre came back inside with two large platters filled with food. Everyone crowded around the island in the kitchen, grabbing plates and filling them with food. I stood back and watched in amusement as the argued over certain things. Suddenly, I felt two hands on my waist and before I could react, Jade leaned forward and bit my earlobe. I couldn't control the chill that went down my spine, as I was equally turned on and pissed off that she remembered one of my biggest weaknesses.

I quickly turned around and glared at her, as she just laughed and seemed to be way too amused at my reaction. "You little bitch!" I growled at her, pointing a finger at her.

She put her hands up in a surrender gesture and just kept laughing as she went over to the island and grabbed two plates. I decided just to stay calm and get my food, sitting down next to her at the table. I let her think she'd won, but two could play that game. We ate dinner and went around telling stories, laughing and generally having a good time. Once we'd all finished eating, we went to the living room and Jade set up Netflix to watch a movie. They settled on a movie titled Let the Right One In.

The movie was in Swedish, I realized after I'd googled it. Due to the general macabre nature of the movie, I could see why Jade liked it. Near the end of the movie, everyone seemed really into it. I glanced over at Jade, who was intently focused on the movie. I grinned to myself and very slowly moved my hand over to her thigh, holding it there for a moment so if she realized I'd done it, she'd think that was all I planned to do.

I knew I couldn't exploit her biggest weakness with so many people around us, but I did know another, more discreet one. I moved my hand more toward the inside of her leg and pressed down on an incredibly sensitive part of her inner thigh that I very clearly remembered drove her absolutely insane years ago.

The affect seemed to be the same now, as her hand immediately moved to her mouth to stifle any noises she involuntarily made. She gave me an evil glare, and I just held a victorious grin as I kept my eyes on the TV.

After the movie was over, they all seemed exhausted and went upstairs to sleep. Cat went to the laundry room and grabbed the final load out of the drier and handed me the basket, "There you go, you should have something of your own to wear to bed tonight.

"Thanks Cat, I really appreciate it."

She smiled and nodded, "Let's go to bed, it's late."

I was right behind her going up the stairs, and we split off to our separate rooms. I put the clothes basket on the floor and sifted through all four of them to find something comfortable to wear. I took the bag from the pocket of the sweatpants I'd been wearing and put it in the drawer of the nightstand next to the bed. I changed my clothes, then grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste from one of the boxes and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Afterward, I took out my contact case and solution and removed my contacts for the first time in about a week, which felt great. I put on my glasses and settled down in bed with Fahrenheit 451 and began reading.

Around the time the main character Montag went to the house of Faber, an English professor, I stopped and looked over to the night stand, opening the drawer and taking out the little bag. I stared at the little pink pills, a wide range of emotions flooding through me. I was angry at myself for bringing them back, but also incredibly tempted to take them. I was even more angry at myself when I took the time to count exactly how many there were. Suddenly, the door to my room opened and Jade walked in. I quickly put the book mark back in the book, tucking the bag inside it as well, and set it down on the nightstand. I composed myself and let a smug grin sit on my face as I looked at her, "Yes?"

She said nothing, but calmly walked over to the bed, laid down next to me, and kissed me. I was caught off guard, but kissed her back anyway. I recognized in the way she was kissing me, she was filled with too many emotions than she knew what to do with. There were only a handful of times she'd ever kissed me like this, but I still remembered what it meant. Her angry kisses, sad kisses, happy kisses, just-because kisses, they were all distinct in their own ways. This particular kiss told me that she didn't have the words to convey how she was feeling, and expressed it in the only way she knew how. With her hands staying around my face or my waist, her body just slightly above mine, and her lips only kissing my own, I began to understand what she was trying to tell me. I realized what she meant the previous night when all she said to me was "soon."

I put a hand on her shoulder and pulled away slightly, waiting until she looked at me before I spoke, "Jade, I need you to listen to me. I want to be with you. I want you to be mine, and I want to be yours. I want to go back to that level of intimacy we only got to experience once, but there's no rush. I understand that you're not ready, and that's okay. You won't force me into anything, and I won't force you either. Whether or not I can be with you like that won't change anything. I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to. I won't leave you again."

Jade nodded slowly and kissed me one more time, "I love you."

I smiled at her, "I love you more."

She smiled back and stood up, "Goodnight, Tori."

"Night champ," I responded, grabbing my book as she left the room and shut the door.

I waited for a few seconds and opened the book, taking the bag out and putting it back in the nightstand. I read for about 15 more minutes until I got tired. I put the book back down on the nightstand and turned out the light. I was content and calm enough to resist the urge, at least for now.

A/N: The song Change by Churchill is one of my favorites, and I think it's just a fantastic song and worth a listen if you haven't heard it already. Over My Dead Body is a show on ID (Investigation Discovery) that I watched pretty frequently during my recovery. I'm not sure if the episode I outlined actually exists, but I essentially just made that one up. Let the Right One In is a Swedish vampire film, based on old-school notions of vampires, and I think it's a brilliant movie, however quite gory in some places. As with most vampire films, I wouldn't recommend watching if blood makes you squeamish, but it's a great movie nonetheless. Lastly, I forgot to mention this previously, but Fahrenheit 451 is a novel by Ray Bradbury, a book I quite enjoyed.