I do not own Phineas and Ferb or Band-Aids. Any line that does not sound familiar is probably mine. The rest are quotes from this particular Phineas and Ferb episode.

Moon Farm Bloopers

"Hey, Candace," Stacy greeted as she walked into the Flynn-Fletcher backyard. "What're you doing out here?"

"Hey Stacy." Candace blew out the fire in her lantern. "I've got a lot of things to do today, so I-" She noticed Stacy trying to hold back a laugh and couldn't help but giggle. "Sorry! She started it!"

"It's not my fault! She looks like that giant marshmallow guy." Stacy grinned.

"...I'm gonna take that as a compliment," Candace muttered.

Take One

"Hey Candace!" Phineas called from the entrance to the rocket ship. "We're going to the moon!"

Candace arched an eyebrow and walked up the ramp. "The moon? Wait a minute, why are you-?"

She slipped and tumbled back down the ramp. Phineas burst into laughter and Candace sighed. "Why do I have a feeling that this won't be my day?"

Take Three

"Apparently, there was a last verse that was lost to history, until Ferb and I found it in the Dead Sea. It's a little wet and salty-"

"That's what she said," Ferb muttered.

Candace snorted and Phineas punched him the shoulder. "Dude!"

"Come on, Ferb!" the director snapped. "This is a family-friendly environment!"

"Oh sure," Ferb scoffed. "An old German actor screaming at child actors and threatening them is definitely family-friendly."

...

Perry looked around to make sure he was alone. He rapped on a panel near the fireplace and slipped inside. He made it through to his lair and dumped a pile of wood on the floor. He then chattered in pain and held his finger.

"What's the matter? Did you get a splinter?" Francis asked.

Perry nodded.

"We'll grab the first-aid kit." The director signaled for his assistant to do so.

"Hold it!" Heinz cried. "So I can get pummeled by a platypus and get barely an ounce of sympathy but when Mr. Monotreme over here gets a splinter everyone runs to his aide. What's up with that?"

"Fine. We'll get you pretty pony Band-Aids for your cuts and bruises. Does that make you feel better?"

"The sarcasm just makes it hurt even more."

...

"Sweet!" Phineas grinned as he peered out of their model spaceship. "This moon set looks wicked!"

Isabella strapped on her harness. "And it's pretty cool that we get to jump around and actually feel like we're floating."

"You might wanna put on some extra strings." Buford smirked at the girl. "You might just break off and fall."

"Assuming that was you calling me fat, my response is this." Isabella shoved a non-strapped up Buford out of the spaceship and the burly boy hit the ground hard. "Did I break your nose?"

"Yes."

"Then you are forgiven."

Take One

Perry stared at the C.A.T door for a moment before shrugging and crawling through. He tried to pull himself to the other side and found himself to be stuck.

The director watched him wiggle about helplessly and tried not to laugh. "I guess we should stop giving him so many grubs."

Take Three

"Perry the Platypus," Heinz remarked as he walked up to the monotreme. Perry struggled to keep a straight face and ended up snickering.

Heinz groaned. "Do you know how many layers of paint they put on me? If we don't hurry up I'm gonna spend the next three months getting this stuff off."

Take Five

"Anyhoo, with another great idea, I created the Moisture Suck-Inator!" Heinz proclaimed. "See? See? I don't know why I built it here when I was going to use it on the balcony... That wasn't- anyhoo, this device will suck all the moisture-"

Ferb let out a snicker and hastily tried to cover it up with a cough. Heinz shook his head. "I never knew you were so dirty minded."

"It's not my fault! I spend my lunches with Buford, and you do not want to know how those conversations play out," Ferb muttered.

...

Phineas smiled cheerfully as he pumped air into the inflatable farm. It grew rapidly and Baljeet swallowed nervously. "I think you should turn it off now."

"It's stuck!" Phineas cried as he twisted the dial desperately.

The director clapped his hands over his ears as the farm exploded. "Is everyone okay?" he asked.

His five actors and actress stared at him. Buford motioned that he could not hear him and the director slammed his head off of his clipboard. "Maybe we could do a silent film. It'd probably be easier-nope. Never mind. These kids can screw anything up."

...

"This is Moon Farm, come back," Phineas reported.

Irving fiddled with the dials on a large radio system. "Oh, this is mission control. Your transmissions-"

Heavy metal music blasted from the headphones he was wearing and the boy screamed and tore them from his head. "You guys suck."

Take One

Heinz shoved his machine across the balcony. "I got it. Man, why didn't I put wheels on this thing?" He gave it a final shove and cracked his back. "Agh!" he groaned.

"Don't tell me. You're stuck," the director said flatly.

"...maybe."

Take Three

"I'll just aim it... there perfect. Now, you will witness the dehydrating effects of my Moisture-Suck-Inator-"

Ferb snorted.

"Oh for-Ferb! Get off my set!" the director hollered.

Take Four

A dehydrated Heinz and Perry open and closed their mouths. They managed to do this for a bit before breaking into giggles. "Sorry, sorry. We got it this time."

"I've heard that before," the director muttered.

...

"This doesn't seem right Candace. I mean, four eggs bleated, a big bow, one pound of lamp—I mean that's not even food," Stacy pointed out.

"Trust me Stacy, as annoying as Phineas and Ferb are, they're usually right." Candace shrugged.

Irving started into the house. "Phineas and-"

Candace and Stacy threw a bunch of eggs at the guest actor. Irving yelped and covered his head. "Come on!"

Candace giggled. "I guess this is my day after all."

Take One

"Moo-na. Two syllables cow, two. Moo-na," Buford instructed.

The cow just blinked and mooed.

"Man, these cows are dumb," Buford remarked.

The cow whipped around and booted Buford in the stomach. The boy doubled over and groaned in pain. "I take that back. These cows are pretty dang smart."

Take Two

"Okay everyone, ice cream's ready. Let's dig in." Phineas happily licked his ice cream and yelped. "Brain freeze!"

"Only I can hire a group of kids who can't even eat ice cream without messing up," the director sighed.

...

"I don't know Stacy. I got a bad feeling about this. What am I going to do if it isn't even edible?" Candace asked nervously.

Stacy shrugged. "Well, technically it is English food."

"Well, here goes." Candace opened the pot and both girls screamed. Inside the silver pot was a plastic, ketchup-covered severed head. "Irving!"

...

"Uh... Perry the Platypus?" Heinz chuckled nervously. "Yeah, I'm over here. Yeah I uh... I forgot my keys so I thought I— you know, just fit through the uh..."

Perry ignored him and opened the door. "Oh good, you're going to go get-"

Perry stuck a piece of paper on his behind and walked off. Phineas and Ferb burst into laughter at the Kick Me sign.

The director could not help but grin. "Classic."