Entry 21- sorry for the wait =D Anyway hope you like it and please R&R =3

Random facts
-One suicide victim who committed suicide by jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge left behind a note saying: "I'm going to walk to the bridge. If one person smiles at me on the way, I will not jump" ( Just think how much a smile can do =D Make someone's day, or maybe life- give a smile once in a while)
-Infants spend more time dreaming than adults do.
-Children are more allergic to cockroaches than they are to cats!

Dear Diary,

It's over. I honestly think it's over...

It just doesn't make sense though. Every time it replays over in my memory, I still can't find the trigger cause. Or it might even be trigger causes. Maybe I'm just in denial or maybe I can't accept it.

I've also just realised I could be talking about two things. I could be talking about the abortion, which happened over three days ago. Since that incident I've not been the same, in my opinion the reality of what I was about to do has finally kicked in. Sure I've been thinking about an abortion for the majority of the time I've known about it, but did I really think about all the factors of it? I don't think I did.

When I arrived back from Rouge's house with red puffy eyes, that look has stuck with me. For the last three days I've done nothing but cry and had very little sleep in result. I look dreadful and my skin is very pasty.

While I was crying all I could think of was my friends and family and how they would react if I told them.

Shadow-He'd be disappointed in me, heartbroken that I couldn't open up to him.
Knuckles-He'd be fed-up because I kept it from everyone.
Tails-He'd feel sad, sad about Eternity, sad about keeping it a secret from Sonic and also himself and generally sad that I had to scoop to that level.

I managed to think of what everyone else would feel bar my husband. That's not normal at all. If anything he should have been the first to know. He should be the one I tell everything, the one person I can open up to. But that's not the case for me and this situation.

My saddened aura unfortunately did not go unmissed...

That brings me on to the next possible reason for my confused state of mind. But the sad thing is this is the actual reason. Sonic and I got into another fight! One I'm not sure we can just forget.

It all started with Sonic asking me what exactly was my problem. Now sure a husband can ask his wife that but not in the tone he used. It was not a caring tone but instead it had a harsh demanding edge to it. I was in shock that he spoke to me like that, I really didn't expect it. However over the last month I've begun to realise you can't really expect anything. What happen happens; it's as simple as that. Whether you like it or not, it's the truth. So take my advice, don't try and predict anything. This fight has caused me to realise this more.

I looked at him with burning eyes, so sharp like a butchers' knife. He didn't recoil back as I thought he would. He stayed firmly planted on the floor as if his feet had grown roots, attaching him to the ground.

He spoke again with a nicer tone but not a fully caring one, "Amy, whether you like it or not I will find out." His voice became kind after that 'warning'. "Also whether you like it or not I'm your husband and I want you to feel okay. I want you to be happy and stop all this crying, it breaks my heart seeing you this way."

Despite his caring tone and words I burst into more tears, the river flowing from my eyes could not be stopped or controlled. The reason I was crying was because he wanted to help so badly but for that to happen he would have to know about it all. This however wasn't an option at the time.

But the fight really began to kick off when Sonic came to hug me, trying to comfort me. Yet this didn't comfort me. As soon as his arms began to wrap around my body I jolted up into the air, this was followed by me bolting to the other side of the room. He looked at me hurt, unable to read my mind which clearly screamed "DON'T TOUCH ME!!!!"

I don't know why I had suddenly developed this fear of him touching me. Maybe it was because I didn't want him feeling the bump in my abdomen or maybe it was for the reason that I have become very jumpy lately. I guess I'm paranoid now. But for whatever reason I didn't want him to comfort me, I didn't deserve it.

Over the last month I've done things that I could not even dream of. If someone asked me a year ago what I thought I'd be doing now, I wouldn't have answered "I'm hiding the fact I'm pregnant from my husband who's constantly worried about me. And in my spare time I'm crying, thinking or fighting with Sonic."

But Sonic didn't take this to well. His caring eyes glazed over with anger. He finally snapped, my behaviour over the last month must have become too much for him to bear. I think it's safe to say this was the trigger cause.

"Amy! For god sake, I'm your husband and yet I'm treated like dirt, like you couldn't care less. I'm sick of it! What we have, I wouldn't call it marriage Amy. But yet I still love you. When we got married I took my vows, I said I would love you for better or worse, until death do us part..."

And what did I say, the worst thing ever. I can still picture the words flowing out of my mouth and into the atmosphere before finally reaching his ears.

"Who said it had to be our death? Maybe our marriage was over when Eternity died..."

Amy Rose x