Chapter 21: It's Not What You Think
Renji moaned and turned uncomfortably in his sleep, recent memories replying themselves on his head. He tried to push them away, but even anchoring himself to the lover sleeping next to him couldn't stop them from raking his mind.
"I had hoped I would marry a Kuchiki. They are lovely…and my father found Kazuki to be very talented…"
"N-no…" Renji moaned, "Stop…saying that!"
I got a look at your fiancé and despite looking like he's about to start breathing fire, he looks absolutely stunning."
"Shut up, please…shut up!"
"What are you doing?" Byakuya asked in an unsettled tone.
Renji looked at him in confusion.
"Kissing you. People about to make love usually…"
"I am well aware of what people making love do, Abarai, but I will remind you that we were only commanded to make babies, not love. We are not in love, if you will remember, and I am not drunk enough to feel a desire to kiss you."
"Yeah, well, kissing and holding the other person is part of the experience. It relaxes you and puts you in the mood for having sex."
Byakuya gave him a deadly glare.
"I doubt that any amount of kissing or holding would increase my non-existent desire to have sex with you, but since I am unable to escape responsibility, I will thank you to make this as short and painless an experience as possible."
"I'm sorry…" groaned the redhead, tears coming to his eyes, "I didn't…I didn't choose for this to happen. But…but I thought that you fell in love with me."
He stopped for a moment to admire the lovely, pale body beneath him, the tumbled hair and flushed skin, the hazy gray eyes and still frowning mouth. The blush on Byakuya's skin deepened as he looked back, meeting Renji's eyes cautiously.
"Wh-why are you l-looking at me like that?" the noble asked in a voice that trembled slightly.
Renji offered him a gentle smile.
"Because my captain looks beautiful like this," he said, touching Byakuya's face.
He wondered why Byakuya looked as though he'd just been hit with something hard.
"Will you please stop talking to me?" Byakuya said almost pleadingly.
"Are you all right, Renji?" Byakuya asked sleepily.
Renji buried his face in the dark, sakura scented hair.
"I'm…fine, just had a bad dream."
Byakuya's hand slipped into his and Renji gave a shuddering sigh and dropped off to sleep again.
He found Byakuya stretched out on his stomach beneath a sakura tree, with his head rested on his arms. A smile touched Renji's lips at seeing how he still seemed to glow softly in the moonlight. He moved closer, thinking to sit down beside him to wait for the sun to rise. But as he studied the porcelain skin of the noble's face, he saw the wet trail of tears and drew back, hurt filling his eyes. As much as he accepted that Byakuya might not have wanted to be with him, that he was only responding to duty, he hadn't thought that being with him would actually hurt Byakuya enough to make him cry. But the evidence was plain and right in front of him. He swallowed hard, the odd, sick feeling returning and making his head spin. He managed to hold on to his composure long enough to remove the cloak from his shoulders and drape it over the sleeping form beneath the tree. Then, he fled back to the bedroom, tears running down his own face. He slipped into the shower and curled up on the bench seat, letting the tears fall and hating himself for feeling so weak. His father hadn't let Tama's initial rejection affect him like that…but Renji wasn't like that. As strong as he was, when something impacted his heart, he couldn't hold back his emotions. They built up, flared and exploded out of him. That was how he was and he couldn't imagine being any different. But now it was Byakuya having an impact on his heart. He was actually attracted to the man, who obviously couldn't return that emotion.
xxx
"Whoa…hang on," said Katsuro, "I distinctly remember you getting torn up by a black spirit demon last night. You are going to spend at least another day or two in bed…with no disturbances to your rest."
Byakuya's eyes flashed.
"I am well aware of the healer's orders," he snapped, "I do not need to be told how to behave, least of all, by the likes of you!"
"Okay, okay," said Katsuro, putting up his hands, "Sorry to have riled you…"
He gave Byakuya a seductive smile.
"Well," he went on, "not really sorry. You Kuchikis are as pretty as you are deadly when you're riled…"
xxx
"I do not want to move forward," he said softly, his eyes meeting hers squarely, "I never have…not since the day she died."
"But not because you have lost the desire. You only try to manage the losses. There have been too many…and the touches of love too few. You have a chance at truly being happy with Renji. Only give yourself a chance."
"I am not going to find happiness with Renji. He is a rough mannered, stubborn, undisciplined train wreck of a life partner. He has no respect for his responsibilities as part of a noble family. He couldn't care less about my family's pride. And the only thing I've felt since we were married is humiliation and annoyance."
xxx
Renji ran out of the manor and ran through the rain towards where he sensed Byakuya's reiatsu, up by the waterfall.
"What's wrong?" he panted as he ran, "Why did you leave? Why are you out here alone in the rain like this?"
He thought he might have heard a voice over the sound of the pouring rain, but he ignored it and ran on. He reached the top of the incline and flash stepped towards the cluster of sakura trees overlooking the lake. He slid to a stop, his heart freezing at what was happening.
"You have to leave!" Byakuya cried, pushing Katsuro away.
"But you said that you wanted me…!"
"What we want doesn't matter! Don't you see? I am Renji's husband…Renji's! That should mean something to you, Katsuro!"
The samurai's hands grabbed the front of Byakuya's yukata, tearing the fine fabric as it opened, revealing a lovely sea of white flesh.
"You torment me, Byakuya!" exclaimed Katsuro, his eyes boring down into the stunned noble's, "You have teased me too much. This shameless behavior, when you know I can hardly resist you. You are cruel…so cruel."
He forced the noble to the ground and fell down on top of him, trapping him there on the ground. Byakuya struggled at first, but then Katsuro's mouth closed over his, stealing the noble's will to resist.
"Stop!" he gasped, "Think about Renji!"
"I can't think about anything else. You've poisoned my mind, Byakuya!" Katsuro said, forcing his thighs apart and kissing him harder, "I can't hold myself back anymore!"
"Dad, don't!" Renji screamed, sitting up in bed, clenching the sheets.
"Renji?" Byakuya's voice said urgently.
Cool hands touched the redhead's face and Renji looked up through fevered eyes into Byakuya's worried expression.
"O-oh…" he groaned as a pain radiated across his abdomen, "Oh…it hurts, Bya…it fucking hurts!"
He shivered as Byakuya washed his face with a cool, wet cloth. Everything went comfortably dark for a time before he found himself waking again.
"It's going to be all right, Renji. Katsuro is coming. He's going to take you to the fourth division."
"N-no! No! I don't…I don't want to…that bastard tried to…"
He trailed off as Katsuro appeared in the room and leaned over him.
"How long has he been like this?" the samurai asked.
"I…I don't know exactly," Byakuya answered, "He seemed uncomfortable, but I thought it was just the pregnancy. I didn't know he was feverish until just now, when I sent for you."
"Easy, Son," Katsuro said, lifting Renji into his arms, "I've got you. We're going to take care of you and your baby."
"No!" yelled Renji, struggling, "Put me down, you fucking bastard! I'm…I'm not leaving him alone…with you!"
"Renji, be still," Byakuya said reprovingly, "He is just trying to help you. Your reiatsu is out of balance and you have become ill."
"No, listen to me…he's going to hurt you, Bya…Byakuya, he will hurt you! He's just…"
"What are you talking about?" Byakuya asked, "Your father cares about both of us. He has…been very supportive."
"No! Shut up!" Renji yelled, tearing away from Katsuro and dropping to his knees on the floor, "I know he's been screwing you!"
"Renji!" hissed Byakuya, "You have to stop!"
"I know all about it!" sobbed the redhead, deliriously, "You only pretended not to like him. Truthfully, you wanted him, not me!"
"Abarai, that's not true, and you know it!" the noble objected, "Please, calm down. All of this is not good for our babies."
"B-babies?" Renji said, blinking.
He felt a soft shock of kido and his mind started to spin away.
"What are you doing?" he heard Byakuya object, "You'll hurt the baby!"
"No, I wasn't forceful," said Katsuro, "He was getting too out of control. It wouldn't have been good to let him continue."
Out of the corner of a closing eye, he saw Katsuro's rough hand touch Byakuya's.
"It will be all right," the samurai said, "You stop getting yourself overwrought or you're going to be back in the fourth division, yourself. After all we have done to protect that little samurai you're carrying, we cannot lose him now."
B-byakuya is pregnant?
But…why didn't he tell me?
And Dad knew…
And he didn't tell me either…
Why?
XXXXXXXXXX
Renji groaned and shivered, his eyes blinking open and coming to rest on a nervously fidgeting figure sitting next to him.
"M-master Abarai?"
"Ungh…" he grunted, "Koji?"
"Yes sir," said the youth, "I'm right here. Lord Byakuya said not to leave your side for a moment, and I haven't left you…not for a second!"
"But…" the redhead said, trying to sit up and falling back, "Wh-where is Byakuya? Is he…? Did something…happen to him?"
"Oh!" said Koji, looking surprised, "Oh, no sir! Lord Byakuya is fine. And he…he didn't want to leave your side, but…Lord Ginrei came ahead of the king, and he ordered Lords Katsuro and Byakuya back to the manor to greet and protect the king."
"Ah…hell," Renji panted uncomfortably, "And here I am, lying around…"
"You were ill, Master Abarai," Koji said insistently.
"Look, will you just call me Renji?" the redhead said, shaking his head in annoyance.
"Oh, of course, Master Renji," the youth went on, "You have to rest. Your reiatsu became very unstable. Lord Byakuya and Lord Katsuro were both terribly worried about you. They were here all night. And Lord Katsuro couldn't convince Lord Byakuya to sleep at all. He was beside himself worrying about the b-…about the two of you."
Renji let out a soft breath and closed his eyes.
"I know Byakuya's pregnant."
Koji's face went white.
"Lord B-byakuya is…?"
"Don't screw with me, Koji," said Renji in a low, sad voice, "I can tell by the look on your face that you know it's true."
Koji bit his lips and went silent.
"And I've been thinking about that, you know. Because it seems strange that he didn't say anything…and neither did you or Torio…or my dad."
Koji's hands shook softly where they rested in his lap.
"M-master Renji…?"
"Just tell me the truth, Koji," Renji said, his voice quivering, "Is…Byakuya's baby…mine or…?"
The youth bit his lips and swallowed hard.
"I…Master Renji, why would you ask me such a question? I am a personal attendant…not anyone important or…"
"Hey," Renji said, shaking his head, "I'm not stupid. I've seen that something was going on. I tried to tell myself it wasn't what I thought…but…I'll bet it was that way for you too…seeing shit you didn't want to believe, and making excuses why it couldn't be what you thought."
"Sir," said Koji, blinking away the tears that threatened, "no matter what, you know Lord Byakuya loves you. And your father loves you too. You must focus on that, and let them speak for themselves. I know…I know it looks bad, but give them a chance to explain. M-maybe it's not what you think."
Renji rubbed his eyes and sniffed softly.
"But you don't believe that, do you?"
"Sir, what I think doesn't matter."
"Huh…" huffed Renji, noncommittally.
"Master Renji," Koji went on, "I just mean that you have to listen to your instincts. And you must talk to them before you jump to any conclusions."
Renji gave a long sigh and lowered his eyes.
"I uh…I guess you're right," he said softly, "I should let them speak for themselves. I guess I just got…scared…because I love Byakuya so much and he has never been as invested in us as…"
He stopped himself forcibly.
"Sorry," he said miserably, "I shouldn't put you between Byakuya and me. You're just supposed to see that I mind my manners and dress properly. You're not supposed to get caught in the middle of our problems."
"It's…okay, Master Renji," Koji said, shaking his head.
He broke off as Captain Unohana opened the door and joined them in the room. She examined Renji briefly and smiled.
"You seem much better now, Vice Captain. I think that as long as you agree to rest, and allow Captain Kuchiki and Lord Katsuro see to the king, I will discharge you. I will send for Captain Kuchiki, if you like."
"No, that's okay," Renji said, shaking his head, "Byakuya is busy with the king, and besides, Koji is here to make sure I rest."
"I promise I won't let him lift a finger," promised the servant.
"Very well," said the healer, "I will have Isane come in to give you your discharge instructions."
XXXXXXXXXX
Byakuya sat quietly at Ginrei's side, taking small, disinterested bites in his food, and trying to stave off the discomfort in his abdomen. He could see Katsuro on the far side of the king, stealing glances at him.
"Is everything all right?" Ginrei asked, "You look like you are not well."
"I will be all right," Byakuya assured him, "I am just concerned about Renji."
"Yes, I heard he took ill last night," Ginrei said, nodding, "but I also heard that he and the Kuchiki heir are both going to be fine…that the illness was minor. And I wonder if you are not making things worse for yourself, tormenting yourself with your concern for him. I would understand if there was lingering concern, but…"
"Will you excuse me?" Byakuya said, getting up quickly and flash stepping away.
He paused in a small anteroom, panting softly and brushing sweat from his face.
"Sit down," said Katsuro, appearing suddenly, and helping him onto a bench.
He knelt in front of the noble, placing a hand on his abdomen and wrapping a comforting swell of reiatsu around him. He shook his head unhappily.
"You are this close to going into premature labor," the samurai told him, "I am going to explain to the king and get you out of here."
"N-no…I…I can't, not with everyone here and Renji in the healing center," Byakuya objected, "I have to…stay."
Katsuro shook his head firmly.
"You are being overly emotional about this," the samurai insisted, "It's to be expected, of course because of your condition, but Byakuya, you have to listen to me and go now. Let Torio take you to your room and spoil you for the rest off the night. I will stay with the king, and Ginrei can take care of anything you would do. I'm sure he'll understand once he knows about the baby. I'm going to tell him."
"But I haven't told Renji, yet!"
"I know. And I will make sure that only the king and Ginrei know."
He reached up and placed his hands on the noble's face, brushing the damp hair away and looking into his eyes.
"Byakuya, you know I'm…"
"Get the fuck away from him," Renji said a low, angry voice, from the doorway, "How dare you put your hands on my husband!"
He stepped into the room and Byakuya could see over his shoulder to where the banquet room had gone quiet and the guests were staring.
"Renji," said Byakuya, his face going sheet-white, "Renji, please don't do this here. Not with the king and half the Seireitei in attendance. We need to speak privately."
"I know about the baby," said Renji, "And I know about your reason for not telling me."
"Renji," said Byakuya, standing, "I didn't tell you because…"
"Because it isn't mine."
Byakuya's eyes went wide.
"No," he said, shaking his head, "Don't say that. It isn't true."
"It's his, ne?" Renji went on, his eyes glinting like shards of shattered glass, "That's why you kept sending me to the division…so you two could…be together."
"No, Renji, we weren't," said Byakuya, "I swear we weren't!"
"Then why didn't you come to me? Why didn't you tell me?"
Byakuya put a hand on his abdomen, breathing through a sharp pain.
"I was…afraid that…you would leave me. You said that you were going to leave me, so that I wouldn't have to bear the samurai heir. So when I found out…"
"Bullshit, I saw you together! I caught you together more than once," Renji said, tears leaking onto his face, "I even heard you say last night that you were going into the archive because no one would walk in, and there was a place to lie down. How fucking stupid do you think I am?"
"Son, look," Katsuro said in a low voice, "I swear that Byakuya is telling you the truth, but whether he is or not, we need to take this somewhere else. Byakuya needs to stay here. He is in a very unstable condition because of his pregnancy. I will go with you. We will go somewhere away from here and I will answer any questions you have. Whatever it is, I can explain."
"I'm sure you can," said Renji, "but don't bother. You need to stay with the king. That's your duty."
"And you know…if he doesn't have your little heir, then the two of you can always try again, right?"
"Renji!" Byakuya gasped as the redhead disappeared in a flash step, leaving Byakuya, Katsuro and a good number of guests staring.
"Stay here," Katsuro said sternly, "I will go and talk some sense into him."
He flash stepped away, leaving the noble behind him.
"It's my fault," said Byakuya miserably as Ginrei and the king stepped into the room and closed the door behind them.
"What is the meaning of this, Byakuya?" snapped Ginrei, "How could you allow something like this to happen in front of his majesty?"
"I…" Byakuya began, but broke off as screams sounded in the banquet room and a frightening roar sounded.
Ginrei drew his weapon and burst back out the door.
"Stay with his majesty!" Ginrei shouted, as he flash stepped towards the oncoming demon.
Byakuya took a steadying breath and summoned his sword. He raised a reiatsu cage around the king and stood ready, the sword in his hand shaking slightly as he watched Ginrei attack the demon.
"Don't worry about what happened before," the king said quietly, "Focus only on what is happening now. Renji and Katsuro will sense the attack and return quickly. It will be all…"
At that moment, the reiatsu cage was struck with a shattering blow.
"What in the three worlds…?" breathed Byakuya, watching the protective barrier around them disappear.
Before he could move, a dark presence shot in from the side, and Byakuya felt a clawed arm take hold of him.
The king attacked, but the demon pulled Byakuya close and eyed the king meaningfully.
"It looks as though history is about to repeat itself, your majesty," the beast hissed, "Only this time, it won't just be the noble mate that dies. This time, the rest of the samurais are going with him!"
"You!" gasped the king, staring, "You are the demon who…"
"Yes," the demon laughed, sending a shock through Byakuya's body, making the noble collapse into his arms, "I killed Kazuki Kuchiki. And this time, I will end the samurai line!"
"Yeah, right!" said Renji, blocking the creature's path and drawing his sword, "Over my dead body!"
The demon laughed.
"Stupid, stupid shinigami! That is the idea!"
Renji flash stepped forward, feeling a swell of power behind him as Katsuro and the king joined him. Ginrei yanked his sword out of the demon he had just killed and shot towards them.
The demon holding Byakuya laughed harder as the group closed in, and was joined by the king and several members of the royal guard. But just as they reached the demon and the noble, light flashed all around the demon and his captive, blinding them for a moment. And by the time they could see again, the two were gone.
"You know where to find me," the demon's voice hissed back at them, "I will be waiting…but I won't wait too long…"