Kirkwall – Hightown, Lowtown, and Darktown – 9:31

Blood Magic

"So…"

"Yes?"

"That was it? She was revealed as a blood mage and you all just let her go?"

"Well, what are you expecting, Seeker? Hawke's the last person you'd expect to be a mage, much less a blood mage."

"But none of you went after her?"

"Oh, we did. After a moment. Problem was, we had no idea where she went. By the time we found out what all happened, Hawke was safe at home and we weren't fool enough to go storming in there demanding answers. She might've thought us a threat to her family and, believe me, those that hurt Hawke's family tended to meet some messy ends."

"But you had to have confronted her, dwarf."

"Actually, it was more like she confronted us."

I woke up the next day feeling like I should've slept another two months, but knew I couldn't. I had to get up and look at the damage. I had to. So, I made myself get out of bed, get dressed, and walk out the door. I decided to visit the one person whose opinion I valued the most: Aveline. Get the worst one over with. None of the others' rejection would be as painful.

So, that was how I ended up in the Barracks, outside of Aveline's office, trying to work up the courage to knock on the door.

"You two have an argument, Hawke?" one of the guards asked.

"Something like that," I answered softly.

"Well, you're better off going in, getting lectured, and then making up. Lingering isn't going to do anything but make it worse." Yes, I knew that. I knew that. Still, it was so hard to bring up my fist and knock on the door. But I did eventually get the courage to do so.

"Who is it?" Aveline's tired voice filtered through.

"It's me," I mumbled. Did she hear me?

"Come in." Well, at least there wasn't a bit of hesitation. I didn't know if that was good or bad.

Slowly, I opened the door and walked inside. Aveline was working at her desk. Silently, she gestured for me to sit in the lone chair placed right in the middle of the room. I closed the door behind me and obeyed. I knew better than to try and say anything. There was no joke to diffuse this sort of tension.

"I… thank you for leaving us alone with a known blood mage," Aveline began after a long while of letting me just squirm in the seat.

I knew she'd bring that up. "Anders could dispel it, if he knew what it was," I replied softly. "It also doesn't work as well with someone of strong will. The trick is…"

"Knowing it's there. Yes, Anders explained." Good. "But you still ran."

"I know."

"No apologies."

"Would it fix it?"

"It would be nice to hear."

"Then I'm sorry." I'd been uncomfortable, exhausted, and had just wanted to get out of there. But, for my little bit of selfishness, I got scolded. That was how it always was, wasn't it?

"With agreement from the templars, I have decided to try Idunna as an accomplice to unlawful experimentation and murder. I chose not to report that she was a blood mage."

"I see."

"About you… is it recent?"

"No, I've been one since I was thirteen."

"So, the entire time I've known you."

"Yes."

"The entire time you were a healer in Lothering."

"Yes."

"Have you ever used it?"

"I used it to keep from dying when I first got it, I used it on the Ogre, and I checked Keran's blood for possession."

"What about that prostitute?"

"That was the reflection of magic. I don't know how to do that consciously."

"So, you didn't intend to use blood magic on her?"

"Technically speaking, the only magic I used was burning some of my blood to become a mirror. She was struck with her own blood magic."

"I see."

Silence again. Long, awkward silence. There wasn't anything I could say, and she wasn't in a hurry to talk as she continued to work on the papers piling on her desk.

"I don't like it," she finally said, looking me in the eye. "I don't."

"I know," I mumbled awkwardly. This was it, huh? I was about to lose one of my precious fr-

"But I know you. I know you're a very good and moral person." Huh? "If this had been a different circumstance, I'd lock you up for a couple of months to get your head back on straight and then let you go about your business. I can't do that here. If you're ratted out, you're executed without anyone trying to find out about you and, from what I understand, there's really no way to turn back from it. So, I will keep silent." …Eh? "You're my friend, Hawke. I trust you. I can't cut you out for a bad mistake that you made as a teenager. Maker knows I made a few back. Not as long-lasting, mind."

"Aveline?"

"I'm wary, but I still trust you. That's all." She sighed and sat back down. "And I'm burying myself in paperwork that has to be done, so please don't distract me."

"I'll see myself out."

"Don't turn into a stranger."

"I won't."

I was still in a state of disbelief when I got ambushed by a cheerful hug. "Hey there, bird!"

"Isabela, what are you doing here?" I demanded, startled.

"Varric asked if I'd play messenger," she explained. "Your sweetheart of a sister mentioned you visiting Lady Man-Hands."

"And?"

"And, I'm here. Come on, let's go!" She sashayed off, clearly expecting me to follow her.

Like a puppy, I did. "Please tell me you didn't hand Bethany one of your books."

"No, not this time." She grinned at me. "I forgot to bring one, you see."

"I swear; if I find one, I'm going to burn it."

"Live a little."

"Isabela, that stuff either reads like an old textbook or is anatomically impossible!"

"Use your imagination!"

"I'm a healer. I know that hips aren't supposed to bend as they claim."

"So, you have read a few?"

"More like I've had people with broken hips and legs from trying to do those positions."

"You have got to be joking."

"Lies are supposed to be believable, you know."

"True." She set about in a giggle fit as we left Hightown and entered Lowtown. When it subsided, she glanced at me with a rather serious look. "So, Varric mentioned you were rather… sanguine." …He said I was confident? Optimistic? Why would he say that? Wait, no. Sanguine had an archaic meaning of bloody or bloodthirsty. Wow, Isabela was clever when she wanted to be.

"I suppose."

"I see. Well, it certainly adds a bit of color."

"You don't mind?"

"Bird, I'm a pirate. I've slaughtered, stolen, and bedded, many of whims. I lost my right to judge people a long time ago. And the worst people I've met? Weren't even sparkly, much less sanguine."

"Oh."

"So, don't worry about it. If people give you a hard time, the two of us will just skip town, steal a ship, and become absolute terrors on the sea!"

"Not sure how good I'll be on a ship. Was nearly ill on the way from Fereldan."

"You just need a skilled Captain on the helm. Sail right, and there's no feeling like it in the world. Rather like sex actually." Of course she'd compare it to that. "Speaking of which, do you have remedies for… let's call them 'not-platonic diseases'?"

What now? "Since when are you tactful?"

"Eh, I feel like speaking in code today. So?"

"Yes, I do. Does Anders not?"

"He refused to help me out, the cad."

"I'll mix something up when I get home today."

"Thank you, bird! I do love you so!"

"My life is complete."

In the Hanged Man, Isabela pointed me up to Varric's palatial suite while she went to get drinks for the three of us. I took a deep breath for courage as I walked up. I'd gotten lucky twice. Surely, I wouldn't get lucky a third time.

I was proven wrong when Varric greeted me with a big damn grin. "There you are, Hawke!" he laughed, waving me to his table. "Come on. I want to know how close you are to the fifty."

"I haven't counted recently, but the total after helping out that hooded Orlesian Warden lady person was forty-eight or forty-nine." My answer was automatic, since I'd been taken so aback.

"'Hooded Orlesian Warden lady person', Hawke?"

"I don't know her name! You knew what I was talking about anyway."

"Right, right. So, close? Okay, there's this rumor I've been following about some Starkhaven mages. I think I can wrangle you a job out of it for the last bit."

"In a hurry?"

"I want to go in and get out with plenty of time. Just because the Hero of Fereldan's been slaughtering up darkspawn both topside and downside, doesn't mean that there aren't more of them hidden."

"At least they won't be organized."

"In theory. I've been talking to Blondie about it, and I do not like the adventure he had when he first joined. Darkspawn civil war."

"Wait, how is that possible?"

"He stated Warden Secret when I asked, the damn nug."

"First Isabela insults him and then you."

"Eh, it's affectionate. Anyway, so-"

"Varric, why aren't you bringing it up?" I couldn't help but ask. It was unnerving. I'd expected to be scolded or something from the get-go.

"Bring what up? How happy I am that a beautiful and skilled warrior is soon going to be saving my ass in the Deep Roads? I thought it went without saying."

"You know what, Varric."

"Oh, you mean that thing with the apostitute."

"The what?"

"Rivaini called her that when I explained. I'm appropriating it because it's a good word." He shrugged. "Hawke, I know you haven't been using it. If you had, you wouldn't need the Deep Roads Expedition to help your family out. Andraste's tits, you wouldn't be scrambling about for fifty gold sovereigns if you were. You've met with some people in high places and could've used that trick ten times over to secure your family for life. Instead, you're in Lowtown, frantically saving up, to get something hidden deep below the Maker-damned surface."

"Eh?"

"And the confused look on your face tells me you never even considered taking control of a person." He shrugged. "So, you're one. So's Daisy. Big deal. I'd trust the two of you more than I'd trust a bunch of people who don't even have magic. Sure, I'm wary of the crazy ones, but you need to be wary of psychos anyway."

"…Thank you…"

"We good?" I nodded. "Excellent. Now then… ah, here's Rivaini with the drinks, water for you of course, so let's switch to some non-business items, shall we?"

"It's so nice to see another blood mage! I was starting to think they were all just crazy. Not that there's anything wrong with crazy. Well, I mean, there is, but… I'm babbling, sorry."

Merrill's reaction was the first one I'd actually expected. With that said, I wasn't sure the blatant, giddy enthusiasm was what I'd wanted to see, even if it meant that I wasn't losing a friend, or gaining an enemy. It made me very, very worried that she only had only half an idea of what she'd gotten into. That was worse than having none at all, as she'd be convinced she did know. Here was hoping she wasn't very prideful. Otherwise, I was predicting a pretty sharp, and painful, wake-up call somewhere in her future. Same as me, back then.

"Merril, remember to breath," I joked, finally get more than a second to say something.

"Huh? But I am breathing?" She frowned slightly in confusion and I resolved to explain to her, later, that joke. "Oh, but it is so nice!"

"Merrill, please don't launch into that speech a fifth time."

"Oh, oops." She giggled. "Sorry." She suddenly paused. "I did offer you water, right?"

"Yes, and set it down right before telling me how you think it's wonderful that I'm a blood mage." I held up my cup as proof.

"Ah, good. I was worried for a second that I'd been a terrible host!" She said it like it was the end of the world. "Still, I am happy."

"That's good to know." Glad someone was.

"Oh, we can do experiments together!" She was having way too much fun with this. I was getting uncomfortable. "Only our blood, of course. It would be wrong to steal from another." At least she got that part down? "I've been combining some of it with Keeper Magic and it's really quite fun."

Not entirely certain anything to do with blood magic could be 'good' or 'fun'. "Why don't we focus on the 'normal' magic first?" I suggested. "It's good to have a solid, reinforced, base."

"I suppose." She didn't sound too happy about that. "We did promise to teach each other."

"Yes, we did. We should work out a day for that. Later, though. I need to be home for a couple of days."

"Okay!" She giggled. "I can't wait."

When I left Merril's, I went down to the familiar infirmary in Darktown. I counted myself lucky that Anders didn't freeze me into a block of ice or that Justice didn't come out to smite me. Instead, what I got was a very, very, very long rant about the evils of blood magic as soon as the last of his patients were gone for the day.

"I just don't get why!" he finally snapped, having apparently exhausted his very extensive vocabulary, which included some words I'd heard Merrill use, some Orlesian, a few words I'd heard Varric use, a language I assumed was from the Anderfels, and words that I'd heard from the Qunari.

"Water?" I asked, holding up a cup. I'd poured one about halfway through his rant, knowing he'd need it.

He snatched and gulped it down without looking. "Why would you turn to blood magic?!"

"I told you the situation. I was thirteen and Bethany had been kidnapped by crazy templars."

"So you turned to blood magic to kill them."

"No, I told you how I killed them already. I just used blood magic to keep from bleeding out."

"…Wait, what?"

"I made a bargain with a Desire Demon to learn blood magic and used it to keep my own blood inside me as I went after the templars who kidnapped Bethany. They'd run me through before snatching her. Guess they didn't realize I was a mage too."

"And what happened then?"

"Well, obviously, I got her back and didn't die from blood loss."

"And then you just hid the bargain?"

I was silent for a moment, before tugging off my ever-present gloves and held out my arms so that he could see what I'd hidden beneath them. Anders was a healer. He'd know exactly what the myriad of scars meant.

His eyes widened. "You tried to commit suicide," he murmured. "Rather… efficient, at that. I think you got every major and minor vein in the arms."

"Let it never be say I'm not thorough." I tugged back on my gloves before continuing, "Before you ask on how I'm still alive, it's simple. I'd left a note. The same night I chose to do this, Father had a nightmare horrible enough that he'd had to go check on all of us." Father had often had nightmares, right up to his death. Whatever he'd had to pay for his initial freedom haunted him forever. "He found the note and went after me." I'd gone quite a distance away from our little house outside of Lothering, just in case the demon possessed my corpse. I'd just been thinking of protecting my family, and not at all how they'd react. "He'd found me just in time. It was the second, and last, time I'd seen him cry." No, 'crying' was too mild a word. 'Sobbing' was more accurate. Sobbing and praying that the magic he hated would save me. "It was a child's way of thinking, and a child's way of running."

"I half want to check for psychological health, but my own perception has been permanently skewed by the Wardens." He sighed, shaking his head. "That was stupid, not considering reactions."

"I was thirteen, Anders. I still thought the world was black and white, not shades of grey."

"That reminds me of that popular book that not even Isabela will read." Huh? "Never mind. You were thinking of the consequences to yourself only, not of the surroundings."

"Well, sort of, yes." I shrugged. "I was thinking of the consequences to my family, but I thought that by removing myself from the equation, everything would be fine. That it would stop with me. That's utter nonsense, I know now. I have people who care about me, after all. Is it right for them to pay? I still don't think so."

"Right. Right." He sighed. "Okay, I don't like it."

"And here I was thinking you were ranting just for the fun of it."

He mimed a blow at me, but stubbornly kept to the subject. "But you understand how dangerous it truly is, unlike a certain annoying elf of a mage." I'd protest, but Merrill's attitude towards blood magic had disturbed even me. And I adored magic. "I will… tolerate it. It's you, and you are disciplined and skilled enough to use something so dangerous. I think."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"You're quite welcome!" Ah, sarcasm. So much fun. "Besides, I suppose I'm not really one to scold. Justice and all."

Right, he was technically an abomination. "What a pair we make."

"R-right…" Strangely, he flushed at that. "Anyway, did the demon never come back for you?"

"Strangely, no." I leaned against the wall as I thought. "I haven't seen that desire demon named Caress since the bargain."

"And here I thought they always came to collect. Maybe something scared her off." He shrugged. "To get off this topic, can you help me with some balms? I'm dangerously low on the bruise balm."

"Sure. Shouldn't be hard. You have enough herbs?"

"Just enough. I'll likely have to go foraging in a few days."

"Okay."

The last friend of mine wasn't easy to find. Few people even knew he existed, so I couldn't ask around, and he was in none of his normal hideaways. However, as was typical, the best way to hunt for something was to not hunt for it at all. Life would have it ambush you when you least expected it.

I did wish Fenris hadn't used his greatsword with his ambush, but since he could've crushed my brain or heart without any marks, I was counting my lucky stars for an attack I could defend against. Even if it did shatter my sword.

"So, you've broken my weapon, meaning I'm going to have to get a replacement," I noted lightly. He glared in reply, so I kept on talking. "And I'm going to have to come up with a convincing lie to get the twins and Mother off my back." The shrapnel from my shattered sword had cut my neck and arms, so I was bleeding. "Anything else you want to do?"

"Why not use your magic?" he spat, hefting his greatsword up again.

"Because, with luck, I'll be able to get home and bandaged before I'm in any danger of death by blood loss? Honestly, magic isn't the answer to everything."

"Yet you desired it."

"I was born with magic, Fenris."

"Not that kind!"

"I was thirteen, dying, and my little sister was with some absolutely crazy templars."

"So, you used blood magic to kill them."

"I used blood magic to keep myself alive. I killed them with conventional lightning. Metal conducts electricity." He was silent. "Can I go now? Or are you going to keep making assumptions?"

"The magisters use blood magic…"

"And I bet there's a couple of perfectly good magisters that you just didn't meet because your former employer was a bastard." He looked startled. "Look, if I act like those magisters of yours, then just kill me. I'd welcome it, because it meant I wasn't following my vow."

"Vow?"

"Magic shall serve that which is best in me, not that which is most base. That is the vow my father took after leaving the Circle, and that is the vow I took when I first made that stupid mistake. I would rather die than forsake it." Of course… I would rather forsake it then let any of my family die, but that was another story all together. Nothing was safe if they were between me and my family.

"'Magic must serve man and never rule over them'," Fenris growled.

"Look at Anders. Look at me. Have we used our magic in any way other than helping people?" I demanded. He was quoting the Chant at me? Especially that line? That one line was what justified all this madness! "Is that not serving man?"

"And the blood magic?"

"I just try not to use it. There are instinctive reactions, but that's like reacting with a swing when someone ambushes you."

"But you can. You can use it."

"Yeah, and you can decapitate me. It's called restraint. The only time I lose it is when I've lost my temper."

"And what happens then?"

"You'd better run for cover, because something's going to get destroyed with some form of magic."

"And what about power?"

"I don't want it. I have enough magical power. I don't need blood magic to destroy all of Kirkwall."

"Political, then."

"I'm after the estate for family's sake, not mine. I'm actually pretty damn content down here in Lowtown. Let someone else dance to the nobles. I want nothing to do with any of them."

He stared at me for a moment before looking away. "Confusing," he muttered. "Why? Why are you so damn confusing?" Before I could say anything, he turned and walked away.

I was confusing? I'd been getting blindsided all day by my friends! They were the confusing ones! They were the confusing, crazy people!

But... but I was so glad that they were staying with me, despite this stupid mistake.

"Sis, how did you get injured?" Bethany gasped as I walked into the house. "You were just fine when you left this morning!"

"Case of mistaken identity," I lied with a sigh. "Bandages around? They're messy, but not bad enough for healing magic."

"R-right!" She scrambled about for bandages as I looked around the living room.

I noticed two things missing immediately. "Where are Mother and Uncle Gamlen?"

"Out shopping for some good quality blankets," Carver answered with a frown. Ah, yes, winter was coming soon. We'd need all the warmth we could get. "Mistaken identity, though? With your hair?"

"Yeah, weird, isn't it?" Uh oh, he was getting that stubborn look that said he didn't believe me.

"I should've learned a heal spell," Bethany muttered as she reappeared with bandages and helped me wrap them around the wounds. Carver immediately dropped the subject. Thank you, Maker.

"We should do a magic lesson soon again," I told her as we worked. "It's been a long while."

"…I wouldn't mind that bit of normality. You're teaching me, right?" Translation: 'you'll be there, yes?'

"Of course. We'll bring Merrill along too." I wasn't sure how eager Anders would be at a lesson after today, so I'd probably leave him out this time. "Carver? Do you want to tag along?"

"Nah, I'll just watch Mother like I normally do," Carver refused. He sounded almost eager about it. I wondered if it was because this was normal. Whenever we had magic lessons, he'd stay with Mother and help around the house. It was a little bit of our old life in Fereldan, right here in Kirkwall.

"Can you also do me a favor?"

"What is it?"

"My sword cracked."

"How did that happen?"

"Caught between a sword and a wall during that mistaken identity crisis."

"Yikes. Sure, I'll get you a new one. I'll ask Aveline for help."

"Thanks."

"And that's the last of the bandages," Bethany announced with a smile. "Say, shall we make a light lunch? The three of us?"

"Well, so long as it doesn't involve stoves," Carver mumbled. "You know how bad Sister and I are at it."

"Don't worry. You and Sis can handle the chopping and platting. Come on!" She took our hands. "It'll be fun!"

Fun would be nice, given today. I did wonder, at one point during cooking, if I should tell them about the blood magic, but shied away. I didn't have the courage to admit that mistake to them.

And, if I had my way, no one else would ever learn about it.

Author's Notes: Okay, here are the reactions. Now to use up lots of space explaining my reasonings! (btw, cookies to whoever recognizes the desire demon's name!)
Aveline – her characterization is pretty consistent in one thing: good over law. She's wary of magic and she'd prefer to be lawful, but when push comes to shove, if there's a mage doing good, she's keeping them right where they are. This is an extension, with more uneasiness. She'd prefer that Hawke be locked up for a short while, rather like a criminal who'd just stolen something for a desperate reason, but can't do that. So, instead, she tells Hawke that she's uncomfortable, but chooses to keep trusting her.
Isabela – Isabela's the rogue who leans more towards freedom, though she'll also stand by you providing you've gotten her friendship/rivalry up. I've taken this to mean that she does her best to not Hawke. She once says that she doesn't care what people say because "they don't know me. I know me." Similar concept. Yes, there are things she dislikes, but she sticks with you despite it.
Varric – While Varric actually leans more to the 'templar' side of the final conflict (listen to some of his dialogue), he's actually probably the most neutral member of the party and, canonically, is the one person you can never lose. He's also probably the absolute most logical person in the group, possibly barring Hawke. So, that's what I showed. He knows how desperate Hawke is, but also sees that Hawke hasn't used any blood magic to get herself out of the situation, choosing to earn it the hard way. This actually earns his respect, but that's not something as easily shown, considering it's Hawke's POV, not his.
Merrill – As a blood mage, Merrill is just excited to see another non-crazy blood mage. I wanted to show her enthusiasm, and contrast it with Hawke, who's still incredibly uneasy about it. And foreshadowing why everything goes to the Void for her.
Anders – Anders ranted off-screen (I wasn't adding three pages just for him ranting). This fits in to him just not liking blood magic. However, he's shown to make exceptions depending on the situation (Act II: All that Remains). Thus, he demands why Hawke took that path, and backed off because he realizes Hawke knows the consequences, which seems to be his biggest problem with Merrill. [I think his section ended up being the longest because he DEMANDED an explanation. Those wondering about his multiple languages, in Wardens' Tale: Awakening, Serenity was teaching him some languages and Velanna had offered Dalish in exchange for languages. The dwarvish comes from Sigrun and Oghren.]
Fenris – Ah, this one was both the easiest and hardest. Easy, because I knew how he'd react. Badly. Hardest, because I wasn't sure how it would be resolved. I chose, ultimately, to have him try to kill Hawke, but ultimately backing off when Hawke managed to avoid death blows without magic and told him to kill her if she acted like a Magister. I also wanted to highlight his complete confusion, which is actually a pretty large part of his character: getting used to uncertainty and things not going as he expects.

Feel free to argue, but this is what I chose. ^^

[On another, totally self promoting note, I'm current working on another set of Dragon Age Fanfics (that'll go from Origins to… however many game there are, just like the Tales' series here) and might actually go ahead and start writing it due to boredom in classes! :D It'll be multi-Warden like Wardens' Tale (four this time, though. Well, five OCs, but four actual Wardens) and be written to challenge myself (and to play around with the canon a little more).]

Next Chapter – Magic Lessons! (As in, another break chapter.) We are three chapters away from the Deep Roads Expedition.