I had to add this chapter in here because I love Spencer and she's barely been in this story so far. So I thought I should rectify that.

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"What are you doing here?"

The voice is softer than usual, like a weary sigh. She's not even looking at Emily when she speaks; she's staring vacantly out the window.

"To see my friend," Emily answers, confused by her coldness.

"Don't let me keep you then." Her voice is sharper now, and Emily almost flinches.

"Spencer," Emily says. "I'm here to see you."

At this point her friend turns her head to look at her. But Spencer doesn't move her body, so it's still facing away from her; she's closed off, trying to keep her distance.

"I'm sorry, Spence," Emily says. She fiddles with her bracelets, not sure how much she should reveal. She needs to explain why she hasn't visited, but she can't do that properly without giving away the fact that Toby is alive. "I've just had a lot going on."

Spencer laughs, but there's no humor in it. "Really?"

Too late, Emily realizes her mistake. What kind of excuse is 'a lot going on' to a mental hospital patient? "I should have come sooner. I'm sorry."

She shrugs. "No rush. I'm going to be here for a while."

Emily bites her lip, unsure what kinds of questions she's allowed to ask. Then she reminds herself that it's Spencer, someone she's known and loved for years. She doesn't have to tiptoe around her.

"Spencer, why are you here?"

The look Spencer gives Emily is the same look she gave the math teacher who got a formula wrong, or the history teacher who didn't know when the Cold War started. It makes Emily feel suddenly very small.

"You know why I'm here."

Emily ducks her head. "I know. I mean, I know what happened with… well, you know. And I get why you needed some time away. Sometimes it helps to take a step back and be by yourself for a while." She pauses. "Remember when I used to go running, at all sorts of weird hours?"

Spencer nods.

"That was my way of escaping," Emily explains. She hasn't talked about this before; it had always been private, almost secret. "Out there I was totally alone. I'd leave feeling stressed and worried and whatever else, and then I'd get back feeling… refreshed."

For a long moment Spencer just looks at her, and Emily wonders if she didn't hear. But then she cocks her head to the side and says thoughtfully, "And you think Radley was my way of escaping. You think I should be feeling refreshed now, all bright and ready to come home and start being Spencer again. You think I should be better by now."

She says it like an accusation, which makes Emily feel defensive. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm just confused about why you're still here. I get that you needed out, that you needed a break. But you've had that. I don't think you're going to get much better just staying here."

"Careful," Spencer says, "you're starting to sound like Hanna."

A few beats of silence pass as Emily tries to find a way to reply. Then Spencer raises her eyebrow and gives her a sardonic smile.

"I don't know why you're pushing us out," Emily says, ignoring the way Spencer's looking at her. "Cutting yourself off won't help you move through this."

"Do you know," Spencer says slowly, pulling herself upright and positioning herself so that she's actually facing Emily, "how I felt when I found out Toby was –A? Do you have any idea what was going through my head when I saw him wearing that black hoodie?"

Although she tries to stop it, Emily travels back to the day behind the school, watching Paige complete her mission. She swallows, looking down at her hands. "I have a pretty good idea, actually."

Spencer looks sceptical.

"I found out -" Emily stops herself, wondering if she'd be putting Spencer in danger by telling her. But, she reasons, Hanna and Aria already know, so it doesn't seem fair to keep it from her anymore. "The other day, I was… I happened to come across something. Someone, rather."

She glances up. Spencer is watching her warily. It's not exactly encouraging, but it's clear she's listening. That's enough for now.

"I saw Paige," Emily says. "She was… wearing a black hoodie."

It seems to take a while for Spencer to process this. Suddenly it clicks, and for a moment she almost looks like she wants to hug Emily, like the old Spencer would have. But she's still keeping her guard up, keeping those invisible walls between them, so all she can manage is a mumbled, "I'm sorry."

It's a start, though, and Emily appreciates it. "I told you I had a lot going on," she says with a tired smile. "I just wasn't sure whether it was okay to talk to you about these things. I didn't want…"

"Didn't want poor fragile Spencer to crack?" Spencer says, but there's a slight twinkle of amusement in her eyes. "Relax, Em. I'm not made of glass. You can talk to me like you used to. I mean, I already hit rock bottom, right? What could be worse than this?"

Emily searches in her mind for something reassuring, some little bit of hope to give her, but she comes up blank. She looks up to find Spencer smiling at her, almost laughing.

"What?" she asks. "What's so funny?"

"You look so upset, like a lost little puppy," Spencer says. "Like this is somehow your fault. Like you feel bad because you can't convince me to slap a smile on my face and walk out of here with my head held high. But don't feel bad about it, okay? It has nothing to do with you."

"I just wish -" She stops herself, trying to decide which track to go down. "I wish things were different. I wish you hadn't ended up here."

"And I wish we all lived in a world made of rainbows and glitter," Spencer says moodily, but there's a touch of amusement in it.

Emily smiles at her. This almost feels like the kind of conversations they used to have. She leans back in her chair, feeling closer to Spencer than she has in a month, and they start talking about trivial things, Emily catching her up on all the gossip around school and Spencer doing her best to look interested.

As visiting hours end Emily stands up, hesitates, and then reaches out. She doesn't hug her, but she grabs her hand for a moment, and that little action brings them closer than they've been in weeks. Spencer even smiles, although it's tinged with sadness. Emily says her farewells and heads for the door, completely unaware that if she just looked to the left she would see the tip of a black hoodie sticking out from under Spencer's pillow.

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BAM.

Bet you weren't expecting that.

What do you think is going on? Speculations, theories, hypotheses?